“For the sake of your health, I really hope you have a damn good reason for calling me at four thirty in the morning, Stiles.”

“Dude, relax, don’t go all grumpy right away! Maybe I’m here to deliver a good message, eh? Maybe you should be happy to hear my voice!”

“I’m going to hang up now. For the record, I hate you.”

“Wait! And no, you don’t. I’m adorable.”


“Just a second! Please. C’mon, all I want you to do is give me a teeny-tiny answer to a really important question. Scott wants to know, too.”

“Don’t drag me into this. I told you this is a bad idea.”

“Why is he there. …Stiles, did you put me on speaker.”

“You didn’t object to it.”

“I didn’t get a chance to - okay, you know what. Go the fuck to sleep. Both of you. Don’t you have school tomorrow or something, why the heck is Scott even with you - “

“I’m wondering the same thing, believe me.”

“Well, technically we were finishing a school project, but then we watched a movie. Okay, back to my question. So, we were watching World War Z, right.”


“You didn’t even let me finish!”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“I told you he wouldn’t wanna answer. He’s not that cool.”

“Shut up, dude. But I guess you’re right… ‘s not like he’d wanna hear about my super awesome and totally werewolf-relevant theory.”

Please tell me you didn’t call me in the middle of the night to ask me about zombies. Because if you did, I’m going to - “

“ - rip our throats out, yeah yeah, but here’s the real question. Hypothetically, if we had a zombie virus outbreak - “

“Oh my God. This is not happening.”

“I told you he would be mad.”

“Scott, shut up. If - let’s just assume this for a second - there were zombies, okay. Would you become like, a werewolf zombie, or would you be immune and all werewolves in the world would form this super awesome Slay the Dead and Be Rad alliance where you, ah, what’s the word, rip their throats out with your teeth? Are zombie-wolves a thing? Oh my God. What about alpha zombies - ?!”

“Nah man, I’ve seen Resident Evil, animal-stuff and the undead are not a good mix, believe me. Also, are we talking slow or fast zombies here?”

“Scott, that’s why you’re my man. So Derek, c’mon, feed us some input here.”

“I’m going to feed you your own spine tomorrow morning. After I slept. After both of you went back to bed and only call me when there’s an actual emergency.”

“Zombies are serious business, Derek. You don’t want them with a wolf in their belly, do you? Oh my God, I’m hilarious. That was so good.”

“Stiles, I think he hung up.”

“Damnit! Eh, I’ll ask him tomorrow. Also, why the hell did you act like you didn’t wanna know? You’re all into zombies and shit! I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.”

“And I’m tired. Good night, Stiles.”

“Fiiine. Night, Scott.”


Fandom Intro Meme:

Two Villains - [Chlorr of the Mask]

A woman, or something that had once been a woman. She wore a mask of dull bronze, and the heavy furs of the Northern barbarians. Unnecessary, and uncomfortable, in this weather … unless her skin felt something other than the sun. She wore several rings of bone upon her silk-gloved fingers.


Who likes Canadian zombie comedies!? 

I used to work with the guy who wrote this so I’m excited to see it when it comes out.

Friendly reminder to take care of yourself today,

Take a shower, wash your hair, brush your teeth, clean the sleep out of your eyes, anything to make yourself a little bit better inside!

Also friendly reminder that I am a zombie. And any nasty reblogged chain mail that says anything like, “ Reblog or…” will be devoured by me and their effects made void.

Have a wonderful day!

(P.S. Please don’t reblog this with anything that sounds even somewhat guilt worthy this is a feel-good post.)


A little bit Zombie.