A-Winters-Tale

Shakespeare plays as Onion headlines

Hamlet: 

Twelfth Night:

Macbeth:

Julius Caesar:

Titus Andronicus: 

Henry IV Part 1:

Two Gentlemen of Verona:

Measure for Measure:

Coriolanus:

Othello:

The Tempest:

The Winter’s Tale:

King Lear:

romantic shakespeare quotes to seduce your lover
  • “I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest”
  • “Of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly at your service”
  • “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite”
  • “I wish you all joy of the worm”
  • “Come, let’s away to prison”
  • “What, you egg?”
  • [exit, pursued by a bear]
  • Sonnet 130

I like to imagine that Shakespeare had terrible insomnia, because so many of his characters seem to proceed down their horrid paths under the influence of extreme sleep deprivation. I can just see the dude lying there going, “Ugh… So tired, I could just, like, KILL A KING, y'know?… 😏Sayyy, that gives me an idea!” and then he spends like the next three hours in bed with his mind racing with increasingly zany and complex ideas, being like, “oh, and there’s witches!” Or “I think someone should get eaten by a random bear.”

I am, of course, projecting.

great shakespearean themes for a wedding
  • Twelfth Night: Twins get married to two different people at the same time. The officiator wears yellow stockings. The twins dress up as each other during the reception.
  • Much Ado About Nothing: Groom accuses bride of adultery. Bride faints/fakes her death. Everyone is busy trying to set up the maid of honour and the best man with each other.
  • The Winter's Tale: Groom accuses bride of adultery. Bride pretends to be a statue for the next couple of years.
  • A Midsummer Night's Dream: A triple wedding, except prior to the ceremony two of the couples completely mix up who they're getting married to. An incompetent group of actors perform Romeo and Juliet at the reception.
  • Romeo and Juliet: The reception features a duel between the boyfriend of the groom's cousin with the bride's cousin.
  • Hamlet: The wedding happens at the same time as a funeral, and the widow at the funeral is marrying the dead person's sibling.
  • All's Well That Ends Well: Groom thinks he's marrying one person, but turns out the bride is an entirely different person. The entire affair is conducted in a darkened venue.
  • Macbeth: Three witches show up and suggest the groom kill his boss.
  • Julius Caesar: The groom gets stabbed to death by members of the wedding party. His best man makes a speech at the reception about how ~honourable~ one of the ushers is and incites a revolution.
  • Titus Andronicus: Invite two convicted rapists to the wedding. Bake them into the cake.
  • Henry V: Send the happy couple tennis balls. Only tennis balls.
  • inspired by this post: http://acrickettofillthesilence.tumblr.com/post/101009683501/great-literary-themes-for-a-wedding