@villains

ok but clayface’s gotta be pansexual, right? like i know he was a talented actor and that the people he impersonates are essentially his “characters” and straight people play gay characters all the time but like, remember when he impersonated dinah and got into bed with a naked green arrow and was about to kiss him? or when he called ragman hot? he flirts by saying he’ll give people a mudbath :))) can’t believe non-binary pansexual clayface is canon. clayface? more like gayface

anonymous asked:

Prompts for a hero and a villain meeting for the first time?

You know me so well, I am slightly ashamed.


1) “Now, I don’t think I’ve seen you around before,” the villain said. They moved closer, watching the hero with an undisguised curiosity.
“They’re no one.”
“I think I’ll be the judge of that.”


2) The villain swept past, tossing their bloodied coat into the hero’s arms along with a severed hand and two toes.
“Get that dry cleaned for me.”



3) “You’re good, I’ll give you that – but I’m better.”


4) The hero charged after the villain, airless with grief, lunging to attack. They were batted aside as if they were nothing. Attacked again, heart in mouth, and this time the villain caught hold of their wrists. Eyeing them dispassionately.
“I’ve killed people for less,” they said. “But I think life would hurt you more.”


5) “I know you’re hurting.” The villain drew them close over the stench of blood and decay, tucking them into the crisp cleanness of their coat to ward off the chill. It was warm and soft, hiding the horror around them both. The hero shuddered, hitching around another sob. “It’s alright,” the villain continued. “I’m going to help you avenge the person who did this to you.”


6) “I’ll stop you.”
“You wouldn’t be the first to try.”


7) The day my little brother was born, I swore I’d do anything to protect him. Fragile as a baby bird in the crib, all big eyes and giggles for me. That didn’t change when he turned into a complete bastard.


8) “You,” the villain murmured. “Are the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. There could be a place for someone like you at my side.”
“I’d rather die.”
“They all say that, until they’re dying.”


9) “We both just want what’s best for our people,” the hero said. “Surely we can come to some kind of compromise?”
“You’re adorable. I think I’ll keep you.”


10) “I am a visionary.”
“You’re a monster.”
“I find that’s by far the most uncreative insult people come up with for the things they don’t understand.”
“I don’t want to understand you, I want you to stop hurting people.”


11) There was no one else around. The hero looked around, not particularly wanting to approach the well-dressed and frankly intimidating figure standing on the other end of the train station. But what choice did they have? The hero approached, drawing a breath for courage.
“Hi – I’m sorry to bother you – could I borrow your phone?”
The villain looked at them as if they’d asked for a vital organ transplant.


12) “Stand down, I’m not here for you.”
The hero stepped in the way again, shoulders squared.


13) “So,” the villain said. “You want my help.”
“Yes.”
The villain smiled. “Then beg.”

  • What She Says: I'm fine
  • What She Means: Have you noticed that Mr. Strickler is actually trying to be a really good teacher to Jim at the very beginning of the series!? Like, you can tell he really does enjoy teaching history to his students, he takes note of Jim's struggles to pay attention in class and takes the time to figure out why that is, AND he goes out of his way to try to get Jim and his mother to talk with him about these difficulties and asks Jim to visit him to talk anytime he needs to; and ALL BEFORE HE KNEW THAT JIM WAS THE NEXT TROLLHUNTER! Like...what would be his motives to do all those things except for just genuinely loving his job as a teacher!? Sure, there's the huge difficulty then with him spearheading the effort to rebuild Killahead Bridge which could potentially lead to the doom of all mankind - of course including his said students - so yeah, not sure about his reasoning on that one. Though from his other dialogue - and the doubts about him expressed by Bular - there is a large part of him that's become fond of the humanity he's lived with and taught for the last who-knows-how-many years, and that he shows signs of wanting to negotiate some sort of peace with Gunmar to ensure that at least some people are protected from the Gumm-Gumm's onslaught. So like...my feels were genuinely a wreck over him being revealed as a villain at the end of episode 01. Like...WHY!!??
The Joker x Reader - “How to make a baby”

The Joker really wants a baby and doesn’t really know how to approach the subject. Last time you two talked about it your answer was an unmistakable no and he doesn’t take that kind of negative attitude from anybody, including his girl. Or so he likes to believe…

You are reading a book in front of the fireplace, sitting on the soft rug and leaning your back against the couch. The Joker is resting in his favorite armchair, reading articles about How to make your girlfriend happy on his cell. He wants to convince you to have a baby with him and things have to go the right way because he is aware he can’t force you on this one. J reads the list again and decides to try the stuff he found, maybe it will work.

1. Tell her you love her

He holds his phone with two fingers like it’s infected with some contagious virus, takes a deep breath and utters with emotionless voice:

“Pumpkin, I love you.” It sounded so cold, flatter than the flat green tea latte he orders from Starbucks all the time. He hates the taste but it’s green. Yeah, well… it makes sense to him.

“Awww, that’s nice J,” you mumble, not really paying attention. You always have to sift through what he says because he sure says a lot of things. Most of the times you just pretend to listen and find it easier to just go with the flow.

It didn’t seem you cared about his first effort and he passes his fingers through his hair, annoyed: “What a bunch of nonsense, who wrote this crap?! I should kill them,” he thinks to himself and notices there is/are no name(s) at the end of the article. Dammit, how is he supposed to punish the culprit if he doesn’t know who it is? That makes him even more irritated but decides to continue.

2. Tell her she’s beautiful

For this one J believes he needs to change spots so he comes on the couch behind you and sits so you are trapped between his legs. He starts massaging your shoulders, his gold bracelets clinking in your ears.

“Ahhh, it feels nice,” you whisper, closing your eyes, enjoying the relaxing moment.

“You’re such a pretty doll, Princess,” he leans over and tells you, waiting for a reaction. You take his hand and kiss his laughing mouth tattoo, then keep it on your face, going back to reading. That worked better, he smiles, satisfied with the accomplishment so he continues:

“Do you remember when we first met? You annoyed me so much at the meeting I followed you to your car because I wanted to kill you.”

You snort at the memory and turn the page:” Oh, yeah, how could I forget?”

“…and then I saw you bending over to reach your glove compartment with that short skirt and I realized you had no underwear on.”

“What? I did have underwear on,” you protest, looking up to him.

“That little string doesn’t count,” he smirks and you slap his knee.

“Does to! Plus, I totally busted you staring. Are you enjoying the view, Mister J? “ you recall the question, amused.

“Remember what I answered? I would like it even better from the top.” You both start laughing like crazy; it sure was one of the most daring pickup lines you ever heard but it worked.

“Such a charmer, baby,” you sigh, chuckling, turning your attention towards your reading again.

“I know,” he has to admit, grinning. “ I sure felt I have to ask if you would like to go on a heist together sometimes.”

“ I was impressed with your approach on asking for a date so I said yes,” you rest your head on his knee, closing your book for a few moments.  “It sure was lucky you had a robbery planned for that night, I never had so much fun on a first date,” you have to admit and The Joker’s heart beats faster, happy to hear the confirmation of his awesomeness. Man I’m good! he believes without hesitation and takes a quick glance at his cell again.

3. Buy her flowers

“Y/N, I got you flowers,” he boasts before he grasps the idea he didn’t get shit.

“Oh, did you? How sweet, I love flowers,” you admit, picking around to see where they are and it clicks for J: Fuck, I have none. “Ummm, I forgot them in my car, I’ll go get them,” he gets up and heads towards the elevator, not knowing how is going to pull this one off.

“Thank you, baby !“ he hears before the elevator’s door close. You move close to the fire, wondering why he’s behaving weird but you kind of like it.

On the way to the underground parking, he passes by Frost’s office and since he always has the door opened, J sees the huge bouquet of flowers on the coffee table, no doubt a gift for his girlfriend.

He shamelessly walks in, giving Jonny a mean look and growls:

“These are mine!” and yanks the bouquet away.

“Of course, sir,” Frost is fast in agreeing since he knows better than not to keep his mouth shut at his boss’s behavior.

************

“Here, for you Pumpkin,” J gives you the flowers, kissing you and you really feel excited.

“They look so beautiful, I’ll keep them by me for a while,” you determine with such a glowing smile it makes him intrigued: Why do women always like this stuff? It’s so stupid, but whatever. He goes back to his spot behind you and starts playing with your hair. He thinks he got this so he begins talking:

“You know, Pumpkin, you’re only getting older and…”

“What?!” you snap, finally paying attention. “ You’re so rude!” you pout and move away from him, placing yourself on your tummy in front of the fireplace, slamming your book around before you calm down a bit. “You’re old!” you hiss at him over your shoulder and he deeply inhales, not understanding why the truth is upsetting you so much.

It’s finally time to glance at that list again because apparently going rogue on his own it’s not working too well.

4.  Show interest in what she likes

J crawls down by your side and imitates your position, staring you down.

“What are you reading, Doll?”

“A book about villains,” you reply, frowning, bouncing your legs up and down.

“Am I in there?” he asks, getting closer to you and places his chin on your forearm.

“Nope,” you shortly answer, sniffling.

“I should be,” he states with confidence, pretending to read what you are.

You lift your shoulders up and try to ignore him. He takes a quick pick at the phone again.

5.  Let her know you’re lucky to have her

“I’m the most important one around here but I guess you have your fair amount of usefulness,” he seductively mumbles, thinking it’s the best praise he came up with so far.

“Huh?” you get upset, turning towards him and watching his silver teeth shinning in the firewood light. “Shut up, J !” and you push him away, sulking.

What the hell?! I thought she will love this for sure.

“I guess what I’m trying to say, Princess, is that I like having you around,” he corrects his earlier statement, hoping for a more positive outcome.

“Whatever,” you grumble while he slowly uses two fingers to walk down your back until he reaches your shorts.

6. Cuddle up with her at home

The Joker gropes you and uses you as an anchor while really shoving himself into you. Your hair being yanked in the process doesn’t make you receptive to his tactic.

“Ouch, what are you doing?” you look at him again, suspicious. “Are you trying to tell me you wanna have sex or something? Because you don’t need all this, I always want you,” you bitterly admonish him by admitting to the truth. It flusters you how you can’t fully hate him, at least not for long periods of time.

“I’m just trying to get in your pants, literally. Why are they so hard to pull down?” J tries again and no luck, blowing a rebel strand of green hair off his face, irked because he usually doesn’t have trouble undressing you.

“Wow, that’s why you’ve been acting awkward?” you finally smile, contemplating if you should still be mad or not.

“I was acting…normal,” he grunts, fighting with your shorts and it makes you snicker at his struggle.

“Which means weird for you, baby,” you are fast to point out. “So what’s going on?”

“Dammit, stupid shorts!” he slaps your butt and you lift yourself up a little bit so he can finally succeed in his…mission. “Ohhhh, strings again,”  he delightfully growls, biting his lip.

“You know I always wear this kind of stuff because it apparently saved my life,” you roll your eyes, feeling there’s more to this behavior of his. “Hey, my eyes are up here!” you lift his chin up from your cleavage, interrupting his fun. “Tell me what’s going on.”

He takes a deep breath and swears to himself he’s going to get rid of you if you don’t agree with him:

“Pumpkin, we should really have a baby.” And now he waits.

You stare at him without blinking for a few long seconds and it makes him uncomfortable. He never feels uncomfortable.

“Are you…are you for reals?!” you furrow your eyebrows, gasping.

“Yeah, we should have a baby, I told you before I want one,” he grinds his teeth and you sure don’t seem thrilled.

“Really?! I told you I’m pregnant when you were sitting on your stupid armchair, playing on your stupid phone with something stupid for sure!” you raise your voice, mad again.

His mouth just opens, he surely didn’t hear that, concentrating too much on the article that was supposed to get you to the point of wanting to have a baby.

“Oh my God, Princess, I’m gonna be a dad?!” he blurs out, his blue eyes lighting up in a way you didn’t see before and it kind of lowers your defense.

“I hope you’re going to be a better dad because as I boyfriend…I don’t know…”

He is not paying attention again.

“The Joker is gonna be a father,” he whispers, absent minded and you have to make him focus again:

“Do you still want to get in my pants or what?”

*************************

“Hey Princess!” he shouts from his desk and you turn around in the same time with your 5 year daughter that’s playing on the ground with her toys: “Yes, Daddy?” she giggles and J starts laughing in his crazy way that would normally make people cringe. The two of you are so used to it you don’t even care.

“Come sit in Daddy’s lap, would you?” he gestures and you head over with Evie running in front of you wanting to be first one. She gets on his left knee and you sit on his right one.

“Which one of us, baby?” you pull on his hair, aggravated.

He smirks, gratified on how sneaky he can be:

“Does it matter? I got you both trained!”

“Did you hear that, Evie? Daddy got us trained. What do we do when Daddy is being a smart-ass, hmmm?” you kiss her forehead and she charges at his neck, screaming:

“We bite him!!!”

“Ahhh, good girl,” you snarl, watching The Joker squirm and snicker under attack while reaching for the book you set on his desk earlier.

“Did you have time to look at this?” you ask him while he has fun with Evie and he nods no, whimpering at the small teeth grazing his skin. “Here”, you open the book in the middle, showing him what you customized for him online. “ I got you a whole chapter in the villains book, wrote it myself. This way you don’t have to wait until you die like the others.”

His eyes get big and he grins, so pleased of what you did.

“Daddy, play with me!” Evie tugs on his shirt when she notices he is paying attention to something else. She starts bouncing in his lap, impatient and you get up.

“You did this for me, Doll?”

“Oh, yeah, because I really want to get in your pants tonight. Literally,” you whisper in his ear, biting his neck too.

*********************

You’ve been making out for 10 minutes now when he stops for a few seconds to unexpectedly say: “ I love you, Pumpkin” with that emotionless tone he uses when he’s at a loss of understanding his own complicated emotions.

“Aww, that’s nice, “ you snuggle more to him and he continues: “You’re such a beautiful doll, Princess.”

Something feels…strange.

“Y/N, I got you flowers,” he moans while pulling down your bra straps. It suddenly clicks for you and you get off him, panicked.

“Oh, no! No, no, definitely not!” you back out, heading for the door.

“What?” he pretends to be all innocent. “We should have another kid, look how cute Evie is.”

“Out of the question, you know I had a horrible pregnancy,” and you run out of the door when he stands up to follow you, fed up with your rebellion. You lock yourself in the bedroom that’s the furthest from your daughter’s room so you won’t wake her. The Joker comes and softly knocks on the door, amazed he’s not pissed yet:

“ Y/N, open up! What are you going to do? You’ll never sleep with me again?!”

You debate, thinking of all the fun you have all the time, that’s why you sound doubtful when you reply:

“Aaaaaaa…yessssss….”

“Open the door, don’t make me mad! Daddy wants you! Or do I have to find myself another woman?” he bangs his head against the door, sighting.

“NO!!!” you kick the door from the other side, gulping. “That’s blackmail, J, it’s not fair!”
“This is what we do, Doll, you don’t like it when you are the lucky recipient?”

“NO!!!” you pout, kicking the door again. “I don’t like it!”

“Open up, yes? I want to get in your pants!” he tries the strategy and he hears you snicker. I didn’t lose my touch, he praises his skills to his own self.

“I don’t have any pants on,” you crack the door open, hating yourself for wanting him so much.

He rests his head on the wood frame for a little bit before pushing his way in.

“Even better, makes it easier,” The Joker grins, slowly closing the door behind him.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

Maven Calore, The Shadow 

He is a construct, a creation of his mother’s additions and subtractions. A mechanical, a machine, soulless and lost. What a horror, to know that someone like this holds our fates in the palm of his quivering hand.” ~ Victoria Aveyard (King’s Cage) 

8

Selected David Lynch villains (SPOILERS):

  1. Freddie Jones as Mr. Bytes in The Elephant Man
  2. Kenneth McMillan as Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune
  3. Dennis Hopper as Frank Booth in Blue Velvet
  4. Willem Dafoe as Bobby Peru in Wild at Heart
  5. Frank Silva as Bob in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
  6. Robert Loggia as Mr. Eddy and Dick Laurent in Lost Highway
  7. Naomi Watts as Diane Selwyn in Mulholland Drive
  8. Krzysztof Majchrzak as The Phantom in Inland Empire