@tampa bay lightning

Hockey Penalties and other phrases

  • Too many men = too much man.
  • Icing = skate too slow, team too tired
  • “Play is under review” = 4 blind men didn’t see the play and now will spend 15 minutes trying to revive their eyesight.
  • Off-sides = skate too fast, no goal for you, dumb af
  • High sticking = stick to yourself, no one wants your stick in their face.
  • Goaltender Interference = no idea, such bullshit.
  • Roughing = too touch, much bad touch
  • Game Misconduct = very bad touch
  • Fighting = slight scuffle, mostly hugs.
Fun Fact: Mark Streit

His salary is currently being paid by 3 teams.

  • ~50% of his pay is covered by Tampa Bay Lightning
  • ~45% of his pay is covered by Pittsburgh Penguins

  • ~5% of his pay is covered by Philadelphia Flyers

On Friday, March 3rd, Penguins hosted the Lightning. It was Streit’s first game as a Penguin.

He scored a goal as the Pens won 5-2.

So…to recap:

  • Bolts paid him to score a goal against them
  • Pens paid him to score a goal for them

  • Flyers paid him to score a goal for their arch nemesis.

*sigh*. This is why I love hockey

THOUGHTS OF A HOCKEY FAN

1.) “Why’d they blow the play dead?”

2.) “How is that even a penalty?”

3.) “What is ‘goaltender interference’?”

4.) “How the shit is that goaltender interference?”

5.) “That was the weakest penalty call I’ve ever seen.”

6.) “What the fuck are you even doing ref?”

7.) “ThAt’S nOt A pEnAlTy YoU bLiNd FuCk.”

8.) “Shut up Pierre.”

9.) “I hate every single one of these players, why are you even in the NHL.”

10.) “I can’t actually believe I’m watching beer league players.”

11.) “Wait…. When did he get traded? Who even are these people.”

12.) “I hate hockey and the players hate me.”

13.) “Oh there’s gonna be a figh–false alarm, they just hugged.”

14.) “Our goalie is going to kill every single one of his teammates and I might actually help.”

15.) “What the actual hell is our coach even doing? Can he be fired pls.”

Bonus: “I miss hockey.”

If you don't ugly cry over hockey then have you really experienced hockey?
When your favorite player isn't protected

Originally posted by somenerdthing

y’all take a moment…….. realize it’s nearing the end of august/beginning of september…. NHL players will soon make their ways to the cities they play for…. meet some new guys, some prospects… get ready for training camp… so many reunions ?????? signed contracts will be confirmed… pre season will be well under way….. not long now you guys. NOT LONG NOW.