@payzer

harrehlouyah  asked:

Just curious if you did a break down of ESNY lyrics. id like to see your take on it.

I haven’t, but howbow now?

A lot of fans think Ever Since New York is about that unholiest of fauxmances, Haylor, since the primary stuntin’ took place in NYC. Listening to the lyrics, I agree with that.

Picture it: NYC, December 2012. 1D is at a career high, having played to a sold out Madison Square Garden crowd. This level of hotness must have smelled like blood in the water to fake ass fame vampire, Taylor Swift and her team. So commence fakelationship stuntin’!

I’ll show you what skeeved me out the most. The hotel ho strolls:

They’d make sure to pap Harry coming and going so that fans would infer that the s-e-x must have surely taken place. Classy. This is how music is marketed. Why God?


Meanwhile, all this fakery was apparently taking a toll on Louis:

And the Elounor awkwardness was later mocked by Grimmy:

And it only got worse from there. By New Year’s Eve, Tay Tay was reveling in this Times Square look-at-me spectacle:

Harry, not so much:

This was the point where 1DHQ really dug in with the closeting. Payzer 2.0 launched December 2012, too. Not a coincidence. This is where reality must have really set in. And this is just based on what we can piece together. God only knows what kinds of conversations took place bts to put all this in place. But I can imagine it was dehumanizing and demoralizing. Aggressive hetero stuntin’ would become the new normal for 1D.

So that’s the kind of stuff that would’ve influenced ESNY. It’s easy to understand why he still feels some type of way about it.

Harry:

Tell me something, tell me something
You don’t know nothing, just pretend you do
I need something, so tell me something new
Choose your words ‘cause there’s no antidote
For this curse or what’s it waiting for
Must desert you just before you go

Harry is my people because he comes out the gate swinging. I’m guessing this first verse is directed at Taylor. Being older and having been in the business longer, Harry is looking to her to make him understand why this needs to happen. He wants her to help him make peace with it. But Taylor is the monster showbiz created. She has no wisdom to offer. So Harry is left grappling with this closeting, which feels like a curse. And “must desert you before you go” feels like a reference to the end of Haylor, where she played the role of good girl who got dumped…again.

There she is alone on a boat…deserted. This is what had to happen before she could go for good. It’s a reference to the fakery–knowing how things will play out before they even happen.

Oh, tell me something I don’t already know
Oh, tell me something I don’t already know

Again, Harry’s desperate for something more profound. I’m sure his team was telling him this was good for him, that it was in his best interests personally and professionally. But Harry isn’t really buying it.

Brooklyn saw me, empty avenues
There’s no water inside this swimming pool
Almost over, that’s enough from you
I’ve been praying, I never did before
Understand I’m talking to the walls
And I’ve been praying ever since New York

Harry was able to venture out into the boroughs, unbothered. But in Manhattan? It was lights, cameras, stunt time! And Haylor is like a empty swimming pool: an artifice without purpose. Just like a pool needs water to fulfill its purpose, a relationship needs a real emotional bond to fulfill its purpose. And of course, there wasn’t one. Harry’s counting the days until Taylor sails her fraudulent ass away on that boat. Enough! Same Harry. Same. These are trying times and Harry’s literally praying his way through it–searching for strength where he hadn’t looked before. That’s how profoundly hurtful this experience is for him And he’s been praying ever since. We know why.

4

LETS ALL LOOK AT FETUS LOUIS AND LIVE IN DENIAL AND IGNORE THAT HE’S TURNING 24 IN A COUPLE OF DAYS

anonymous asked:

You're not a true bearded man if you don't do boat stuff™ with a girl.

Yeah, it does seem it’s a thing. A trope? A play out of the fauxmance handbook? And I guess I can see why. Pleasure boats are synonymous with vacations–i.e. voluntary and by choice. And that’s a key selling point fauxmances need to make to seem “real”. There’s also often minimal clothing involved (ooohh heterosexy) and that’s the perfect backdrop to “sell” a fakelationship.

This ask must be because of my tags on the Cristiano Ronaldo post, right?

I tagged his latest yacht shenanigans like that because 1) I think he’s closeted  2) It reminded me of his previous yacht shenanigans…

…I mean, come on dude. Some celebs really, really, really struggle to find any privacy. Even on open water. *eyeroll*

3) It reminded me of other celebs widely rumored to be closeted….

…like Bradley Cooper. He’s here with Irina Shayk who is also pictured above with Cristiano and also hails from the Victoria’s Secret beard farm. What a series of coincidences.

There’s so many pix of Leonardo DiCaprio on boats with Victoria’s Secret models that it’s farcical at this point. I guess there’s no need to switch it up because heteronormativity comes with an I-want-to-believe power pack, apparently.

And 4) It definitely reminded me of 1D. And many of us know what the deal is there.

Oh Liam. A gondola ride through the canals of Venice should be super romantic.

Yeah…not so much. Danielle is having an intense relationship with her phone, though.

This was back when Payzer 1.0 was circling the drain and unofficially over (post Zayn vs Liam vs Danielle Vegas showdown). Hence, it’s not a very cute, cuddly or romantic moment.

The water based foolery would continue for Liam.

All the yuck. At least Cheryl’s affinity for getting her face tweaked (she needs a lot of time out of the public eye) has limited the stunts for Chiam. I’m probably tempting fate by writing that. LOL *cue Chiam’s stunt coordinator inquiring about yacht rentals*

But Liam wasn’t alone, sadly.

This mess is one of my faves (meaning I hate it a lot). Not only was this on my home turf, but because it was on my home turf I can verify it was HOT that day. Hot and humid–around 85 degrees F. I guarantee you this airboat went nowhere. But relationship goals, according to this easily duped fandom.

Poor Louis. Faking it via group again, this time in Sydney and with Liam again. I remember back in the day someone posted that it was unfair that Liam never had to stunt. Ummm…excuse me?

Is everyone having fun without Louis and Liam even though Louis and Liam are physically present? That would be a yes.

Harry didn’t get away unscathed, either. Here he is doing his part pre-Freddie My Boy Lad Baby Son’s arrival.

Good thing he was wearing sunglasses to hide the dead-eyed thousand yard stare he was probably rocking at that moment.

Louis, sadly,  gets back at it again. Out with fake babymamas. In with thirster doomed to failure.

She’s trying to make it look legit. He’s trying to to fight the urge to jump overboard.

And now a moment of hilarity, courtesy of Zigi.

They never even left the beach, God love ‘em. Zayn lighting up with no life jacket is a dead giveaway. If he could swim by this point I’m sure he still wasn’t a strong swimmer. And of course, those pesky paps stalked them so hard (in Tahiti, no less) that they made it out into the ocean before Zigi did. Imagine that.

So yeah, boat stuff seems to be a thing. A thing that only gets shadier upon closer inspection. But hey, if people wanna believe it, it’s whatever. As for me and Liam, we know better.

Liam: Harry introduced Louis and Eleanor
Liam: Harry introduced Louis and Eleanor

this is the interview , where Liam says that Harry introduced him and Danielle, as well as Louis and Eleanor. here is the possible story. Louis wasn’t interviewed he was on the other side of the room, when he heard his name he asked ‘what are you talking about’ don’t interpret it :)

Okay so I spend so much time reading One Direction fanfic that I feel the need to organize all my best readings in this post and let here for reference. This probably will be so f*cking long cause I read most of the ships. So here we go.

Honorable Mentions: 

I’ll update this post later to add more I’m tired now LMAO

anonymous asked:

You're dead right about those cupcakes being prooomooo. Idk how closely you follow Andy, but the Fat Feeder (chick that made the cakes) is his alleged girlfriend's sister. And said girlfriend is good friends with Sophia. So it's all around promo for everyone. And why are there baby cupcakes at a lady-lad bro party anyway? Ugh free Liam from this madness!

I don’t follow Andy closely but no surprise at what he’s doing. I do think Andy is the real deal in terms of 1D friends and he’s laid kinda low and even shaded the official narrative in the recent past. But I think he’s been drafted because using the douche canoe crew (the three dudes Liam started hanging with to help sell Sophiam) is not an option since they were all team Sophia and we’re employed for the purposes of that narrative.

And yes, baby themed cupcakes, randomly appearing over a month after the kid was born isn’t very bro. Why were they there? Who is that slow on the congrats anyway?? Niall?? LMAO! It’s obviously targeted at young, naive, female fans who swoon over this kinda thing without giving the context much thought.

Like I said my earlier tags, it’s a recycled stunt. And recycled stunts are evidence AGAINST a thing being an organic happening. In other words, it’s planned with a particular narrative mission in mind.

Let’s see some of the greatest hits in what I like to call, fakery from the bakery. Look away, Harry. I know you used to be a baker and these are abominations in your eyes.

Of course, Elounor are the OGs of this foolery. Fauxmance and Disney promo? Genius.

That mess wasn’t even the best. Behold the shady af tribute to the mother of modern bearding, Taylor Swift. Why ever would they go there?? Everybody’s in on this joke except 75% of this fandom.

The cake stunts didn’t end with Elounor 1.0. This one isn’t even funny. Because Louis was dealing with the very recent loss of his mother when this happened:

The look on his face says it all. Not ok and no further comment.

But not to be outdone, Liam has done more than his share of cake stuntin’. Cakes everywhere. The Funky Buddha promo cake and the cake Danielle allegedly got him:

Please note this was August 2012 and Payzer 1.0 was probably over at this point. This was post fandom famous Ziam/Payzer Vegas showdown. And as far as we can tell, it looked like Zayn won that battle and ultimately the war. So this explains the need for extra strength cake stuntin’…I mean, I guess by 1DHQ logic.

Cake stunts continued with Sophiam. As always, aided and abetted by friend of Modest, Funky Buddha.

In hindsight, the emphasis on Sophia was obviously promo meant to set her up as an Instamodel post scheduled break-up, which came later that year. I tell ya, all the cake stuff is planned and deliberate.

This brings us to Zayn. We were told to believe Zayn was responsible for this pre-school fantasy for Perrie’s 21st (yes 21st) birthday. Picture credit: ©Little Mix…yeah, exactly.

More Zerrie cake fakes: That one time the garbage press told us this was Zayn’s birthday cake courtesy of Perrie…

…but Zayn’s family showed and proved that this was actually Zayn’s birthday cake:

Zayn was never seen with the Hulk cake. Surprise, surprise. And the cake beat goes on with Gigi and her Zayn stand-in with the photoshopped tattoos.

Now the pastry aided deception includes babies. Sad but true.

As for Niall, there was this weirdness a few years ago:

Hahahaha, no. Somebody tried it. This was an insult to Niall and great promo for 1DHQ co-conspirator The Sun. This implied co-sign was meant to tell us to believe 1DHQ’s lies as told by The Sun. Because if you can’t trust Niall, who can you trust? I see what you did there.

So for some try-to-get-inside-the-mind-of-teenaged-girls logic fail, cakes are supposed to = rayl. I guess 1DHQ thinks the kiddies love cake and no one would ever use precious, delicious cake in the interest of faking it because precious delicious. Yeah, ok.

“ Liam and Sophia break up”
“ Niall and Selena”
“ Louis and Danielle”
“ Harry and Kendall”
“ Louis we support you”