Why I Love Gary Lightbody

When I talk about Gary Lightbody and Snow Patrol, as a middle aging woman, most people just assume it’s all sexual and I want a romp in the sack with the front man. Nothing could be further from the truth, okay maybe it’s a little true ;-) But most of my love for the man and this band can be summed up by his TedXStormont appearance today. Gary was asked to come and speak, and it was clear though out the event, that the other speakers were very excited about his appearance.  Gary, in his true form, did not steal the spotlight for himself.  Instead, he chose to bring along other musical influences from Northern Ireland to share the stage. He chose to put the spotlight on the music scene, influences and how the musical culture in Ireland has grown in last 15 years.

He didn’t take the spotlight for himself or snow patrol, he shown the spotlight on all musicians in Northern Ireland. Maybe it because I didn’t grow up in a particular loving environment, as a matter of fact, the my environment was quite violent.  But the thing I love most about this man is his generosity towards others and helping other people in his industry become just as successful, if not more successful than himself and Snow Patrol.  He is always willing to put on a smile for and with others around him.  He has been able to give my technical left brained mind a voice to speak to others when I can’t find the words myself.

As you watch Gary speak, you can tell he is nervous. Even after 20+ years singing and playing to an audience, there is no arrogance to his nature.  The moderator and other speakers boosted Gary to a pedestal. As he came on stage, he knocked his self off of that pedestal and put others up there in his place.

All the guys in the bands are physically attractive, but it’s the inside of Gary and the guys that really brought me around as a Patroller.  I’m drawn to the positive nature of this man and hope than in some way it can rub off on me to be a better person. I did not have many personal positive influences as a child, so I desperately look for them as an adult.


As someone who has been officially diagnosed as bipolar, when I can’t get out of bed I listen to Lifeboats and these lyrics help me get up, get dressed and participate in real life, you know that life we have outside of the internet, with people we can laugh, drink and eat with in person.

Wake up, wake up

Sleeping only leads to more and more nightmares

Snap out of it

You said it in a way that showed you really cared

@garysnowpatrol: Mardi Gras, Waxing and Hot Nurses

Last night I dream that Gary and I went to Mardi Gras together.  As we were walking down Bourbon Street minding our own business, strolling hand and hand, a balcony of revelers start to chant.. take it off… take it off… take it off…  We both realize they are talking to us.  After some conversation and debate we decide to partake in this Mardi Gras tradition and flash ourselves for some beads.  We count off so we can flash at the same time, 1.. 2.. 3.. up they go! All of a sudden a storm of beads go barreling towards Gary and nothing for me! I’m like WTF is going on? I look around and of course! We are in front of The Bourbon Pub the largest gay bar in the French Quarter! Feeling a bit left out I talk Gary into walking down Bourbon towards Canal Street so that I can get my fair share of round, plastic party favors attached to string. 

We come to The Cat’s Meow a Karaoke Bar.  All excited I ask Gary if we can go in and duet Set Fire to the Third Bar. Rolling his eyes his says, “Are you kidding me? I’ve had enough of that crap! Let’s go to Molly’s for a pint.” As always, King Gary gets his way and we head down to Toulouse Street towards Molly’s. When we walk in they are play Dropkick Murphy’s, then alcohol happened.  Gary takes his shirt off and starts dancing like a giant albatross hopping on stilts. All of a sudden, Gary bends over in a whimper. I walk over to see what happened and his beads have gotten tangled up in his belly hair!  As I’m trying to untangle the beads Nathan shows up and suggest we go to Wal-Mart for a home waxing kit.

So off to Wal-Mart we go.  As we are in the beauty section trying to decide whether or not we should get the microwave wax, cold wax, etc.. Then the manager, Marty, shows up and says, “No shirt, No shoes, No service.” As the three of us are looking at him confused he repeats his self, “No shirt” as he points to Gary.  Then he says, “And the penguin is not wearing any shoes” as he point to Peter.  Ugh! I completely forgot that Peter was with us.  I’m convinced he’s only there to rub in his Grammy, as it is around his neck dangled from a gold pair of Mardi Beads! Show off!

As we are walking out of Wal-Mart Gary is looking a little sad and down. Nathan puts his arm around him and I explain I know a friend who works at a salon and she can help us with the wax.  His says, “No, that’s not the problem. I had Peter for Secret Santa last year and I got him a pair of crocs and he’s not wearing them.” Nathan and I move in for a group cuddle and explain to him that because of the natural habit for penguins the holes in crocs aren’t very comfortable and next year maybe we should all chip in and get him a pair of Uggs.  All penguins love Uggs.

We get to the salon and Peter’s cousin Paul is the wax technician.  Crazy! As Paul is finishing up with Gary he tells me I might want to get my eyebrows waxed.  I tell him I don’t need it. Gary and Nathan give me a look and I’m all like, “WHAT?”  Gary and Nathan explain to me that sporting a uni-brow is not very sexy and I should get something done about it.  I explain to them that I am allergic to wax and I am not going to do it.

As we leave the salon Gary yells out, “If we don’t hurry up we are going to miss our flight!”  I’m like “what flight?”  He says, “I have to pick up my Vespa in London because it’s do for an oil change and tune up.” So of to the airport we went.

As we are going through security the TSA agent tells me to come to the side.  I ask her why and she says that I have to be searched.  I asked her if she was kidding.  She assures me she is not. I asked why me and not everyone else. She says because I have a uni-brow and they search everyone with a uni-brow. So I tell Gary I saw an eyebrow threading kiosk when we first came in and asked him if he would come with me.  He agrees. We get there and the woman says it is $35 and she only takes cash.  I asked Gary if I could borrow $35, as I used my last bit of cash to check my luggage.  He scolds me and tells me that as much as we travel you should always bring your bag with you. $35 here and $35 there add up. He tells me that it’s a rip off and could do the same thing with a string from his guitar; you know the black one with the Celt sticker.

So off we go to the family restroom.  As he is threading my eyebrows the string snaps and cuts his forehead.  As we decide he is too pretty to have an awful scar, Peter suggest we go to the local Emergency Room so that a plastic surgeon can get the wound closed with minimal scarring.

As we are waiting in the room the very same Peter with are with walks in dressed as a doctor.  Perplexed Gary and I asked him what he was doing.  He says he moonlights as a plastic surgeon when the cover band, Penguin Patrol, is not on tour.  Even more perplexed we tell him that we thought the band’s album and singles were doing really well and did not realized he needed a second job.  Peter explains to us that he’s not doing it for the money.  He’s doing it because he is looking for a wife and nurses are much hotter than groupies. All of a sudden Gary gets really excited and decides he too should moonlight as a plastic surgeon to meet hot nurses and possible find a wife.  Peter tells Gary that it takes a long time, 4 years for premed, 4 years for medical school and 4 years of residency. All-in-all it’s going to take 12 years.  He says you are already 36, after all of that you won’t be in the hospital until you are 48.  By the time you meet a hot nurse, get married and have a baby you might be 50, which means you would be 68 when the baby goes off to college.  That’s if you only have 1 kid.

As Peter is finishing up with Gary the nurse walks in with follow up instructions.  Sensing Gary is a little down she asks what is wrong and he explains the scenario.  She explains there is a huge demand for x-ray technicians and that program is only 6 months long. Gary asks if x-ray tech’s get hot nurse wives like plastic surgeons.  She says probably not, but you’ll access to equipment that can see through their uniforms so you can tell what they are wearing underneath.

Gary is now enrolled in the Baton Rouge Community College Radiology Program, as it is all online and does not interfere with the upcoming Tired Pony tour.

Boats, Penguins and Planes...

Last night I dreamt that I was cruising across the Atlantic Ocean to New York City with Gary Lightbody on the Titanic. Of course it sank.  As we made our way to the life boat we realized we were the only two people left aboard and there was only one lifeboat left! How Lucky! As we used the lifeboat to distance ourselves from the wreckage a woodpecker came buy and pecked a hole in the inflatable lifeboat.  As we began to sink another boat called The Santa Maria lifted us out of the water.  Unbelievable, after a few hours The Santa Maria began to sink too.  As we discussed our recent bad luck, the two of use decided that the universe was telling us we were not meant to be in New York. 

We decide to swim to Antarctica to live with the penguins.  When we got there Gary realized he didn’t have his gloves.  So we had to catch a plane to Belfast.  When we got there he soon realized he left his gloves under the seat of his Vespa in London.  Ugh! Finally we made it to London and tracked down his Vespa, he had loan it out to a friend to take a date to the theatre.  As he lifted the seat to find his gloves he let out the loudest girly shriek any man had every made! I asked him why he was screaming like a little school girl and just then he lifted out his League of Ireland Scarf and yelled “This is where I left it!”

Okay now that Gary has his gloves and scarf, we make our flight back to Antarctica.  While there we begin to philosophize why we are living with the penguins it dawns on us that every time we board a boat it sinks, but every time we board a plane the travel is successful! The universe was not telling us to live with the penguins, it was telling us to travel by plane!

So we make a flight back to Gary’s LA pad and while we are at the front door Gary realizes he gave the keys to Paul the Penguins because his cousin Peter needed a place to stay while he was in town for the Grammys.  Peter’s band has been nominated in the newly added category of “rapping animals” with his cover band called the Penguin Patrol for a rapping version of Chasing Cars.  (As a side note, the only other band to be nominated in this category is the band Snow Pony Section for their song Always Open Your Eyes Whilst Doing Cartwheels with Dead American Writers.) 

We are currently in a heated rap off while waiting for the locksmith. Gary wants to know if anyone has the lyrics to Ludacris’ My Chick Bad?