@bobbbyg

The Adult Rob Gould - Starbucks & the anti-Don Draper

A Lesson in How Not to Receive a Compliment

Walk into Starbucks.

Stand in line watching couple at table clearly in love.

Think about how I wish I wasn’t single.

Order coffee.

Pay for coffee.

Young woman looks at me and says, “You look just like Don Draper.”

Blush.

Stammer … “Thank you. That’s very nice of you to say.”

Twitch. Look for exit.

Leave quickly. Awkwardly.

Trip over small dog that makes big noise.

Receive dog bite on right leg.

Apologize profusely.

Sweat.

Fumble with door.

Return to hotel.

Navigate lobby full of beautiful hipsters.

Return to room.

Realize I don’t have my coffee.

Look in mirror.

Laugh.

I am no Hamm.

I’m pretty sure Don Draper would have handled it differently.

oh hee hee. sometimes when i’m planning a trip to mexico, i go into a closet in my house with my phone and speak to the concierge in a loud whisper and ask them to stock the bar with a lifetime supply of vodka and then i pack my bags and tell everyone i’m going to church. you know, just for old time sake?…oh hahahaha! i’m sorry, but i thought we were super fun.
— 

A friend from a former life (when I actually walked on the wild side)

via Facebook

My Ten Least Favorite Feelings

These are my current top ten*

  1. Hearing or seeing my Mom in pain.
  2. Trying to kiss someone and getting the “no thank you.” Ugh.
  3. Fear and uncertainty in general.
  4. Hurting any of my friends (not like hitting or anything, just being a grouchy jerk).
  5. Low bank account balances. Mine specifically - yours don’t concern me unless you’re my boss or potential spouse.
  6. Being called “dear boy.” A total deal breaker in case you’re interested.
  7. That fat feeling. Real or imagined. They both suck.
  8. Loneliness.
  9. Not being able to buy shoes or grooming products that I feel like I really need. There’s a lot of age-defying stuff out there that I just can’t afford at the moment. So unfair.
  10. Being lied to by someone I trust.
  11. The thought of going camping. I know that’s 11 but I really dislike camping unless catering is involved

*subject to change without notification

Lack of Sleep Chic at SXSW

So, my sources tell me that this is the hot look this year at SXSWi.

I seem to have mastered this look in the last 48 hours. Almost effortlessly.

I feel so fortunate.

And only mildly cranky but it’s such a small price to pay.

Much like an starving runway model going into Fashion Week. Smugly satisfied and only slightly dizzy.

And I don’t have to wear heels so it’s all good.