Friendly reminder that

It’s not okay for partners to hit each other!!! Just because one of them is a girl does not mean she can hit or slap her boyfriend!!! Arguments and anger do not justify violence!! I’ve seen relationships depicted like this in fanfiction, books, tv shows, and movies and it’s not okay. Gender does not matter. You. Do. Not. Hit. Your. Partner.

Cancer Fights!

A Cancer and Aries fight: Both are leaving burns and scars.

A Cancer and Taurus fight: You would think these two are fire signs when angry passion comes out in their fights.

A Cancer and Gemini fight: Gemini is vocal and loud while Cancer distant and passive aggressive. Gemini gets over the fight but Cancer probably won’t!

A Cancer and Cancer fight: Who can do the silent treatment the longest.

A Cancer and Leo fight: All about pride and ego.

A Cancer and Virgo fight: Both think they are right, Virgo criticizes and Cancer lectures/scolds.

A Cancer and Libra fight: They constantly point the blame to each other.

A Cancer and Scorpio fight: They are out to hurt each others feelings.

A Cancer and Sagittarius fight: Cancer guilt trips Sagittarius and Sagittarius can be insensitive and careless.

A Cancer and Capricorn fight: Capricorn puts Cancer down and Cancer knows what to say to hurt Capricorn.

A Cancer and Aquarius fight: Cancer manipulates with emotions and Aquarius tricks with reason.

A Cancer and Pisces fight: Dirty looks, yelling, crying, and makes each other feel like crap.

Little Batjokes Argument Headcanons

- it 100% depends on what’s caused the argument but J is usually the first to cry

- if it’s between J and Bruce, Bruce is generally the first to start it. It’s usually over something small, like J bitching about Bruce’s fake playboy lifestyle he keeps up for the media, and then Bruce’ll snap and J starts to panic because shit, they didn’t need an argument today.

- when it’s between Joker and Batman (because there IS a difference), Joker will escape all pissed off at Batsy, and Bruce’ll be left shaken up and concerned, because he hadn’t meant to injure J but now his boyfriend was gonna be hiding in the narrows for at least a week and Bruce wouldn’t even know if he was alive

- whilst J is sulking in the Narrows he will complain to whoever listens. Even Harley gets sick of him whilst he stays at Ivy’s place with them (because “Red, we can’t just leave him! He’s injured!” Mixed with the blonde’s puppy dog eyes is enough for Ivy to let the clown stay for a week)

- Bruce doesn’t complain, he just worries. He knows that J is probably staying with other criminals (that’s where he always goes, no matter what kind of argument it was). He’ll spend three days in a row down in the Batcave, trying to locate J when Dick or Alfred will drag him upstairs and make him talk

- when Bruce starts crying, there’s literally no going back to the silent act. No matter how many arguments, he always worries that hes fucked things up for good and that he’ll have to deal with not just a ruined relationship, but a murderous clown on the loose.

- when J reaaallly pisses Bruce off, he’ll threaten to take the clown back to Arkham. This usually shuts him up, but on one occasion J marched himself back to the asylum just to shock his boyfriend (he regretted it immediately and spent the next two months sobbing until Harley broke him out - apparently fighting the Bat is no fun when the vigilante is too distracted by his missing clown)

- J can never stay pissed at Bruce for more than a week. He always turns up at the Manor with some sort of apology present (on one occasion, two cats - stolen from Selina Kyle - painted to look like Batman and Joker)

- Bruce panics the first time they argue, especially as J doesn’t turn up after two weeks. It’s only when he visits his penthouse to move about without Alfred judging him, that he finds the clown curled up in one of Bruce’s jumpers. Apparently, J had expected him to find him faster, and was glad that their game of “hide-and-seek” was finally over

anonymous asked:

Sharing a bed trope

Okay, so I’ve been thinking about this for DAYS

and the thing is , I think Ben Franklin and John Adams already made the Best Bed Sharing Subversion  when , sharing a hotel room, they got into an argument about whether the window should be opened or closed that lasted until John Adams FELL ASLEEP ARGUING. 

 I cannot do better, and so I defer to the champions.

Leo Fights!

A Leo and Aries fight: No louder fight in the zodiac.

A Leo and Taurus fight: Intense and heated, Taurus is brutal and grudge holding, Leo gives mean comments and takes harsh actions.

A Leo and Gemini fight: It’s a contest about who can be the loudest.

A Leo and Cancer fight: All about pride and ego.

A Leo and Leo fight: Too much pride and stubbornness.

A Leo and Virgo fight: Virgo picks at Leo’s flaws and Leo picks at Virgo’s insecurities.

A Leo and Libra fight: Leo roars and Libra whines. Leo can get pushy and Libra makes Leo feel bad.

A Leo and Scorpio fight: So much anger!

A Leo and Sagittarius fight: Both want to punch each other in the face but get tangled in harsh words.

A Leo and Capricorn fight: Bossiness, condescending behavior, and selfishness galore!

A Leo and Aquarius fight: This is a fight about whose idea is right, who is in control, and who has the last say.

A Leo and Pisces fight: Let’s just say no one wins.

anonymous asked:

Is it just me or have a lot of truscum/transmed blogs on here suddenly started saying nonbinary genders aren't real/don't exist? Or that NB is and always was just another word for gender nonconforming, and NB ppl aren't allowed to call themselves trans? Like I thought you could be agender/bigender/some other NB id and still have dysphoria? I'm not trans myself but I know ppl who are NB and dysphoric, so the whole NB discourse (esp coming from other trans ppl) really makes me worry about them.

There’s been an onslaught of it recently, hasn’t there? It’s not just you who noticed this.

I hope it’s okay with you if I just ramble out a bit of an argument against the people who say it - because I got carried away while writing a response to this and realised how genuinely mad I was about this new trend… like, people are behaving like the old straw-truscums, saying that gender dysphoria is this powerful unstoppable force that dictates every second of your life and that you have to transition to be a Real Trans™, and it’s disheartening but it’s also rapidly losing us credibility.

When it comes to whether or not we label non-binary people as trans, I can see why there’s been a debate about that. Some people consider trans to mean people who transition, some people consider it to mean FTM and MTF but not necessarily transitioning, some people consider it to mean anyone who has gender dysphoria/gender identity disorder, and some people consider it an umbrella term that encompasses any type of identity or expression variation (I’ve even seen people who include gnc and drag under the “trans umbrella”).

The first definition excludes pre-op trans people and trans people who can’t transition for medical or personal reasons - it leaves them with no real way to identify themselves because they’re not cis but they’re not transitioning. I made a post recently about how people are talking about dysphoria as if it’s the be-all end-all in deciding what we do, but it’s not, we’re not dictated by dysphoria, it’s a medical condition that can be tackled in a myriad of ways. Some people fight dysphoria and get pregnant or wear dresses, because they want to do those things more than they want to feel non-dysphoric. Some people spend their whole lives fighting dysphoria because for medical, financial, religious or other personal reasons they can’t transition. We have the terms “post-op trans” and “pre-op trans” already so that we don’t have to exclude pre-ops simply based on the fact that they’re not transitioned.

I see a lot of people arguing against Milo Stewart by saying “you can’t really have dysphoria because it would prevent you from wearing that”, and as much as I’d rather drown in a tub of vinegar than defend Mr Milo “all white people are racist, all cis people are transphobic” Cuntington McFuckface the third, the people saying that are wrong. If Milo wants to wear a dress to push their political ideology, or lipstick because they’d rather look cute than feel masculine and thus alleviate dysphoria, then they’re going to prioritize those desires over the desire to feel less uncomfortable (also if they don’t view dresses/make-up as effeminate or their dysphoria doesn’t focus on those things, it may not even affect them to do so). It’s like how people with social anxiety can still talk to people, people with eating disorders can still eat, people can overcome things that cause discomfort and distress rather than succumbing to the feelings every time. The disorder is more about its impact on you mentally than on how you physically choose to deal with it. Dictating whether or not someone has dysphoria by whether or not they conform to gender roles is conflating being transgender with conforming to the opposite gender role - an argument that is used against us a lot by terfs, and is downright insulting and invalidating - dysphoria is about sex characteristics first and foremost, about physiology, and about a feeling of discomfort with your preexisting ones, not about gender roles (otherwise in a society where we had no gender roles, nobody would be trans, and that’s not the case, trans people have biologically different brains and would still feel uncomfortable with their bodies if there were no gender roles).

As for the second definition, my argument is pretty much the same - it’s needlessly exclusionary of experiences that are caused by the same condition, gender dysphoria, and we already have “binary trans” and “non-binary trans” to differentiate. For a while, I did kind of get the arguments for this one - that people wanted a word to specify going from A to B, and thought going from A to ą needed a different word - I get wanting to be able to say “I’m trans” and have people know that you mean trans trans and not non-binary. That said, that’s why most of us use “transguy/transwoman and FTM/MTF”, because our experiences are just as different and similar to those of people who went the opposite way as they are different and similar to non-binary people’s experiences. Ultimately it’s the same condition, and so I think it should have the same label.

As you can tell, the third definition is the one I use. If you have gender identity disorder and experience gender dysphoria and identify as a different gender to your biological sex as a result of that then you’re trans (there must be people out there who experience GID and want to become cis by getting rid of the GID itself rather than alleviate it by changing their body and/or identifying as a different gender to their biological sex, I know I went through a phase of thinking that might be the better option for myself, and I don’t wanna just point at them and be like “nope, you’re trans, don’t care how you feel” so I add that little bit in). To me, trans is just shorthand for “I have gender identity disorder and I identify as my brain’s gender rather than my biological sex”.

If you identify as something other than cis but don’t experience dysphoria, maybe because gender roles or aesthetics or because it’s trendy or whatever, or you do drag or you crossdress or you’re a tomboy or whatever, you’re gender non-conforming, not trans - which is super cool and not something to be ashamed of (although I think you shouldn’t transition, because not having dysphoria means that your brain’s map currently aligns with your body, and therefore changing your body will make them no longer align and thus give you dysphoria - then again people are having surgery to look like tigers and Barbie so it’s your body and all that, I just personally think that people who go down the path of transitioning without dysphoria should be very wary of what they’re letting themselves in for, I mean, this condition has a ridiculously high suicide rate, it isn’t a walk in the park). I think some people do mistake mild or atypical dysphoria for a lack of dysphoria, especially thanks to the tucute narrative that dysphoria means hating yourself (it doesn’t, it’s feeling wrong/uncomfortable with your sex characteristics), and so a lot of people in this category might turn out to be trans after learning more about it, some might grow out of it (dysphoria isn’t only experienced by trans people, it’s actually not that uncommon in growing kids as they are discovering their identity and learning about their body, so it’s kinda important to let people just experiment for a while without tagging such a weighted label as trans on them), and some might go their whole lives not conforming to gender and that’s totally fine and cool and I have absolutely no problem with them choosing to do that… I just don’t think it’s the same as being transgender.

The last definition, the “trans umbrella”, I find insulting to both trans and gnc people. Conflating us is conflating the discussion, belittling the effects of dysphoria and the struggles it causes, it’s conflating literal dressing up and rebelling against gender roles with a medical condition that is regularly invalidated and called those things, it is stifling discussion, it is allowing people like terfs to make arguments calling transness a choice and simply a rebellion against gender roles - arguments that are supported by this “umbrella” version of transness that includes things that genuinely are vastly different from the trans experience. Me and my non-binary friend have dysphoria in common, we have some techniques to manage it in common, we have in common that we are different from what our bodies are, but we have nothing in common with a non-dysphoric kid on tumblr who’s identifying as vaguegender and doesn’t need a prep talk to overcome a mental condition to be able to look in the mirror. I’m fine with that kid existing and doing what they want, but they’re just not what I define as trans, I’d define them as gnc.

To cover all my bases here, I can see how they’d use my earlier arguments and be like “well that’s why dysphoric and non-dysphoric are words, you’re just being unnecessarily exclusionary”, but in this case I think that’d be like saying “well that’s why chemically-imbalanced and chemically-balanced are words, you’re just being unnecessarily exclusionary” in regards to depression, with “chemically-imbalanced” being actual medical depression and “chemically-balanced” being a goth/emo. You wouldn’t say that someone without the medical problems necessary to have depression was depressed, in fact a lot of people get annoyed when someone who’s just sad goes “ugh I’m so depressed” because it belittles their struggle, and the trans thing is the same. My earlier arguments to include pre-op and non-binary people were more akin to “that’s why medicated and unmedicated are words” and “that’s why major depression and seasonal affective disorder are words” - in this case, it’s just different kinds of depression and different methods of treating it, just as nb/binary and pre-op/post-op are just different kinds of dysphoria and different methods of dealing with it.

So, since I define being trans with dysphoria, I should probably go into that. Dysphoria means a feeling of wrongness, and when that feeling is exclusively targeted at secondary or primary sex characteristics (beards, boobies, genetalia, etc) it’s gender dysphoria - there is also a social element to gender dysphoria, which is feeling dysphoria in regards to social sexing (going into the toilet that matches your biological sex, being called the wrong pronouns, wearing certain clothes, etc). The theory currently leading in regards to what causes this is the brain map theory, which is that your brain has a map of where your body is and should be (when you close your eyes you still know where your hand is), and that in transgender people this map aligns with their identity and not their sex. This is thought to be caused by certain parts of the brain being closer to that of the brains found in the gender they identify as than those found in their biological sex - the brains are not identical to that of the opposite sex, simply more similar to it than a normal brain of their biological sex. As you can already see, it’s not a fixed thing, there isn’t a quantity or amount of extra brain matter needed to be trans, it can vary, just as the dysphoria can vary in severity and focus - one brain can be more similar to a female brain than another, for example, it’s not like you either do or don’t have this part, it’s to do with the size of various parts and the quantity of types of cells in them, relative to the spectrums of sizes and quantities usually found in each gender; dysphoria can be more serious or less serious, can fluctuate, and can even be triggered by entirely different features or situations from person to person.

I also want to add in that phantom limbs and “species dysphoria” and things like that are different from gender dysphoria; confusion about gender and how you relate to it, or confusion about your identity caused by a mental illness that isn’t gender identity disorder (BPD, autism, etc) is not the same as gender dysphoria. I don’t think animal, star, abstract concept or mental illness themed genders are trans in any way; if you have a mental illness or strongly relate to an animal, your brain still has a gendered structure beneath that identity and thus you still have a gender that isn’t defined by it. Generally, if it requires a degree in interpreting modern art to understand it, it’s probably not a gender… Like voidgender, because apparently eternal darkness and misery fits on the male/female spectrum now. Or autisgender, because apparently having a condition that may make it hard to relate to your gender means the biological foundation for your gender is entirely invalidated. Having teenage angst or a mental health issue doesn’t change your gender, it may mask it or make you confused, but it doesn’t change it.

When it comes to defining which non-binary genders are things that I think fit under the trans label I tend to think “A) Is it actually a gender? B) Is it medically feasible for the brain to be that gender? C) Does it makes sense? D) Is the person proposing this an utter cunt?” If the answer is Yes, Yes, Yes, No, then we’re good. I think agender, bigender, gender-fluid and androgynous are easily feasible genders and I think it’d be pretty cool if more research was done on them. They’re all actually built on a foundation of what gender actually is; they’re all medically feasible (if a brain can be faab but closer to male, I don’t see any reason it can’t be in between the two; plus a lot of people with binary trans brain structures may have atypical dysphoria and may find these labels easier to relate to and strive towards to alleviate said dysphoria, like I’ve said before, it’s not about fitting your condition into a box and curing everyone in the box the same way, it’s about finding the best treatment for you; not to mention that hormones and different areas of the brain activating may play a role in fluctuations, as well as simply fluctuating dysphoria); they all make sense (neither, both, it fluctuates, somewhere between the two - all pretty rational if you ask me).

So the second “foundation” for a lot of the anti-nb arguments I see (the first being “trans means TRANSITIONING”) is “being neither is a nothing, you can’t want to be a nothing”, and I have a couple of arguments against this. 1. Dysphoria doesn’t necessitate having a mental image of what you want to be, it only necessitates having a sense of wrongness and discomfort towards one’s pre-existing sex characteristics, and therefore even if they were identifying as “a nothing” it could still be as a direct result of experiencing dysphoria. 2. Non-binary identities literally aren’t “identifying as a nothing”. Intersex people already exist and they aren’t nothings. Androgynous people may experience dysphoria towards some of their secondary sex characteristics but not their primary sex characteristics, or visa versa; they may have an idea of an androgynous body they desire that is distinguishable as neither, or they may have no envisioned goal. Agender people may experience dysphoria towards any sexed characteristic, regardless of which sex it aligns with; again, they may have an idea of a sexless body they desire, their dysphoria may focus exclusively on secondary sex characteristics, and so on. Gender-fluid people have fluctuating dysphoria that may focus on male sex characteristics in one phase, all sex characteristics in another, and female sex characteristics in another. Bigender people may experience dysphoria towards some sex characteristics but not others, or towards the lack of other specific sex characteristics. There’s a whole plethora of ways dysphoria can happen within these identities, and it’s not really that complicated to envision it if you understand how dysphoria presents.

Non-binary identities aren’t just gender non-conforming, because the person experiences dysphoria, which is not part of being gender non-conforming.

I have non-binary friends who are transmedicalists and yeah, I worry about how this sudden flare of prejudice and discrimination within the community is going to affect them. The garlic bread meme was funny, the “only 90s kids remember 2 towers and 2 genders” meme was funny, but the people seriously rallying behind this “only two genders” warcry are kind of undoing their own arguments. The truscum community already established a while back that it was possible for non-binary people to experience dysphoria, it was a point we really pushed because we knew a lot of people out there were saying we didn’t believe in non-binary genders as a way to kind of invalidate us and make us look bigoted. The fact that people are turning into that old strawman is just… yikes.

Tbh I just think this “but muh two genders” stuff is really counterproductive and scientifically unsound. There’s not any research, to my knowledge, that actually disproves non-binary identities, and there’s research that shows that not all transgender brains are exactly the same, which to me says that there’s more research suggesting that this varies and is impacted by multiple areas of the brain, and thus there are different ways it can eventually present. But apparently humans aren’t cool with me opening up their heads to investigate further so I’m just theorising at this point.

~ Vape

Taurus Fights!

A Taurus and Aries fight: Taurus is stubborn and non-communicative and Aries is explosive and volatile.

A Taurus and Taurus fight: It’s like a staring contest with anger, it is a fight of wills.

A Taurus and Gemini fight: Taurus glares and complains while Gemini shouts and might get red in the face.

A Taurus and Cancer fight: You would think these two are fire signs when angry passion comes out in their fights. Watch out for grudges. 

A Taurus and Leo fight: Intense and heated, Taurus is brutal and grudge holding, Leo gives mean comments and takes harsh actions.

A Taurus and Virgo fight: Both try to out smart one another or to gain the upper hand.

A Taurus and Libra fight: Uncommunicative and frustrating.

A Taurus and Scorpio fight: Both are unyielding and they give each other hell.

A Taurus and Sagittarius fight: Sagittarius will poke at Taurus’s fault and Taurus will be unforgiving towards Sagittarius.

A Taurus and Capricorn fight: Filled with low blows, unfairness, and hardheadedness.

A Taurus and Aquarius fight: Taurus uses rationality and Aquarius uses logic but things still get messy.

A Taurus and Pisces fight: Taurus is stubborn and grudge holding, Pisces jumps to conclusions and attacks.

anonymous asked:

i think im bi with a preference for girls/nb people but with boys... i kinda prefer trans boys? not because i don't see them as boys just. they've been socialized as girls so theyre usually nicer? i'm so scared that this makes me transphobic...

okay that “socialized as girls” stuff needs to knock off right now that’s straight up terf language

Libra Fights!

A Libra and Aries fight: No one really knows how it started or what happened but things escalated quickly.

A Libra and Taurus fight: Uncommunicative and frustrating.

A Libra and Gemini fight: More of a heated debate, more frustrating than anything.

A Libra and Cancer fight: They constantly point the blame to each other.

A Libra and Leo fight: Leo roars and Libra whines. Leo can get pushy and Libra makes Leo feel bad.

A Libra and Virgo fight: Criticism, back-handed comments, and pouting take place in this fight.

A Libra and Libra fight: Filled with passive aggression, communication is twisted, and watch out for lies.

A Libra and Scorpio fight: Scorpio rages and Libra is elusive and it can be hard to solve conflicts with these two.

A Libra and Sagittarius fight: Libra wants answers, tries to use reason or compromise, Sagittarius wants to be right and is harsh.

A Libra and Capricorn fight: Libra argues and Capricorn demands.

A Libra and Aquarius fight: Aquarius gets to the point and Libra tries to tip toe around the issue. Both just want things to be solved.

A Libra and Pisces fight: Both say they don’t want to fight but then tear each other apart.