@ my cousin's wedding

Some of y’all are asking about the ritual with the scotch, so HERE IS A STORY THAT SPANS SEVERAL GENERATIONS OF SHENNANIGANS.

So my dad’s side of the family is a bunch of rowdy farm boys with a dark sense of humor. My oldest uncle Tim was the first to get married and the rest of them orchestrated this complicated, almost medieval style dance routine on the dance floor where they would switch dance partners mid-song and slowly danced the bride towards the door, swept her up, put her in the back of the pickup truck, and took her away.

Tim doesn’t notice until the song ends. This was in the 70′s, way before cell phones. The front desk of the hotel gets a call, it’s one of my uncles. “We have your wife. The price is one bottle of scotch.”

He’s like ‘what is this shit?’ And he figures they can’t hold out too long. They have to come back sometime. No. They are literally driving her around the block several times, stopping at pay phones to check in to see if he’s gotten the ransom. This goes on for about an hour.

So he goes out and gets a bottle of scotch, puts it by the door as they drive by and everyone returns.

All the boys got married in the order of their birth and let me just say… they’re not above petty payback. Next one up is Jay who just… seems to forget entirely that his brothers are complete jackasses. Also, he was kind of the ringleader at the last one so there’s no way they could do it to him!

Haha… ha…. haaaaaaaa… oh, uncle Jay. You sweet summer child… who is also several decades older than me. 

Bride gets kidnapped, almost in the same manner as Tim’s. The price, as always, is a bottle of scotch. But Jay… oh… Jay…

Jay just HAD to get his ass married on a Sunday and this is Indiana, buck-o. There ain’t no alcohol sales on Sundays. No liquor stores, no grocery stores, no convenience stores. Nowhere. But there WAS a bar at the Marriott holding the reception. So he had to pay the front desk $75 for a bottle of scotch maybe worth $20 so he could get his wife back. 

A pattern emerges. 

My uncle Moe was next in line. They…. eloped for reasons, but for the purposes of this story we will say that he avoided a situation where his brothers could steal his wife. It’s kind of a personality thing with him, we’ve noticed. Just… ‘oh! Let me avoid this conflict entirely.’ 

Next up is my dad, who is a fun-loving dude who had his reception at a bowling alley and he was NOT, I repeat: NOT- going to have this night ruined by larceny when there is IMPORTANT BOWLING TO BE DONE. Buys a bottle of scotch and and presents it to his brothers with a big audience just so no one can claim that he didn’t. Everyone has fun. 

Moe’s first marriage falls through, and I’m not saying that there’s superstitious reasons for this but I’m just saying- he most certainly DID NOT present a bottle of scotch as an offering at the reception so we must reasonably assume that this had something to do with it. He gets married again and you better believe that there was a bottle of scotch waiting for his brothers at their table. 

So this tradition carried on into the next generation. No one actually expects that the four of them are up to kidnapping anyone when they’re well into their 50′s, but no one is about to risk it. There is a bottle of scotch at the table where the brothers sit at every wedding. 

But my cousin Julia is a perfectionist and if there is any detail that might go wrong, she is going to obsess over it. Because of this, she has a tendency to overcompensate to make sure that NOTHING goes wrong. NOTHING. 

She plans her big moment TO THE MINUTE and a week before the wedding she has this revelation… she has heard… stories. 

Oh no. 

The scotch. 

Around the same time, my grandma is moving out of her old house and she’s inviting family members to rifle through her old things before she gives them to Goodwill. Me, my dad, Tim, and Jay are all there. We’re about to leave when Moe comes up the drive way with a BIG BOX. 

And Gran is like ‘I don’t need more stuff… I don’t need more stuff.. what the fresh hell have you brought to me this time, son of mine?’

He sets it on the floor and it clinks. 

“Julia has ordered me to bring this as a preemptive offer to ensure that there will be no need for a ransom.”

He has brought 24 bottles of scotch. Each brother, including himself, can have six bottles. Whatever debt might have been incurred from his first marriage has been paid off. Her children, and her children’s children, and her children’s children’s children… will no longer need to live in fear of kidnapping on their wedding night. 

This is a sharp contrast to my sister-in-law, who learned of this tradition a week before her wedding, went out and bought a bottle of scotch, slammed it down on their table, and told them to fight for it. 

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Words: 12k

Genre: Extreme fluff for all you bitter people out there (me being included)

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au where isak’s sister is getting married and her fiance’s cousin is even and he’s invited,and so isak and even meet at the wedding and the whole day is just them trying to figure out if the other is into them (or guys at all) and even jokes about blowjobs and isak isnt sure if he’s JUST jokin or theres something behind it so isaks like “yeah dicks. haha…?” and is just looking at him with squinty eyes and evens like “dicks…”and someone walks up to them like, “hey boys,what are u talking about” and both of them look up and isak panics like “cake!” but at the same time even calmly says “dicks” and isak almost gets a whiplash turning to look back at him but evens just ??smilinG and the person just chuckles and walks away awkwardly and isaks like “dude wth” and evens like “what? we WERE talking about dicks” and isak screams internally ,”okay too much dicks” and evens like “does it make u uncomfortable” and isaks eyes widen and whisper yells “we are at a wedding” and even just shrugs “there are a lot of di-” and isak interrupts with a hand over his mouth, “aLRIGHT” and they both laugh and isak acts annoyed, rolling his eyes but hes smirking. and even bites his inner cheek while staring at isak and theres no talk about dicks for the rest of the night,but there are more laughs and stories and at one point when everyone else is dancing and theyre sitting at the table, even is feeding isak cake and theres a little icing on the corner of his mouth and even wipes it off with his thumb and as he’s pulling his hand back his middle finger gently runs along isaks jawline and they almost kiss but then people are pulling them up to dance so, it has to wait 

Illusion of Choice (M)

Originally posted by tbhobi

Summary: You’ve grown up with the Jeons, Jungmin and Jungkook, for as long as you can remember, your parents being very close. But little did you know that this is because you are in fact arranged to be married to the Jeon heir, Jungmin. However, a tragedy causes Jungkook to take up his brother’s mantle, and that includes becoming your fiancé.

Word Count: 7.3k+

Genre: Heir!AU, Arranged Marriage!AU, angst, fluff, smut

Warnings: Smut and mentions (but not depictions) of death

A/N: Honestly one of the thoughts going through my head while writing this was “What’s the best way to make the readers suffer?” I’m not even sure if I’m kidding.

You always wondered why your parents let you have boy best friends. After all, being from such an affluent family, as well as being the oldest child, you will be expected to marry someone for the good of the company. Letting you be around boys would just risk you falling for someone that you can’t have.

These are the thoughts running through your mind as your parents call you up to their study on the eve of your 18th birthday, and you know that the day has come. They would finally tell you who you were betrothed to. You stand in front of your father’s big wooden desk, listening to their spiel about your duties as the heir to their company, only listening for one thing: a name. However, what leaves your father’s lips is not what you expected. The words “Jeon Jungmin.”

Jeon Jungmin, whom you had grown up with, along with his brother Jungkook. You had always been closer to Jungkook, having been closer to him in age, but Jungmin would always show you his drawings and sneak you an extra cookie at the dinner table.

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i appreciate what you’re thinking right now but what about calum stuttering some parts of his wedding vows to you as his family cheers him on with his mother wiping tears and ashton, michael, luke just all smiling since this was the real deal ever since cal laid his eyes on you

fangirl-1999  asked:

Hello again!! Sorry for asking another question but whatever happened to that cousin who wanted to marry Keith? The one who was small and adorable when Shiro met Keith's family? I just really love this au (you can probably tell 😁)

Oh no! It was baby Makoto who wanted to marry Keith ;A;

[The Voltron Family] Little Makoto grew up crushing on his older cousin, Keith. Everyone in the Kogane + extended family knew of this and they didn’t exactly stop the little boy either. Keith even found it adorable. When Makoto first saw Shiro, the boy was threatened his place as Keith’s husband was at stake. Keith told him it was nothing.

Another year and another time Shiro visited the Koganes. Little Makoto had seen Keith and Shiro kiss in a corner and he panicked, so he ran away a little heartbroken. Keith found the boy in the corner of the living room, hugging his knees, sobbing. He sat beside him to find out what was wrong.

Keith: *nudges the kid* Hey, baby boy, you okay? 
Makoto: *sniffles* Keith onii-chan doesn’t love me.
Keith: *shocked* What? Yes, I do! *pulls the boy closer to him* Who told you that? I’m going to kick their butts.
Makoto: *tries not to laugh because he’s crying*
Keith: Come here, Mako-chan. *lets the child stand in front of him so he could wipe his tears* Don’t you ever doubt my love for you, okay? You’re my favourite cousin because you’re The Best Boy. Alright? *smiles at the crying child*
Makoto: *nods* *sniffles*
Keith: That’s a good boy. *smiles and tries to kiss the child on the cheek only to have the little kid’s hands on his cheek to pull him in a different direction*
Makoto: *gives Keith a peck on the lips* *giggles*
Keith: *smiles so wide* SNEAKY.
Makoto: *laughs and hugs Keith* I love you, Keith onii-chan.
Keith: *hugs the boy back* I love you more.

As soon as the little boy ran off somewhere in the house, Keith stood up from the floor and dusted his pants. He didn’t know that Shiro was by the corner observing them.

Shiro: Quite popular aren’t you? *snickers* *bites a chocolate bar*
Keith: *rolls his eyes fondly* He’s been like that with me for years actually. He’s a good kid. *approaches his boyfriend*
Shiro: Tough act to follow. *winces* I can’t compete with that, Keith!
Keith: *laughs* I know. *grabs Shiro’s chocolate bar*
Shiro: Hey, that’s mine! *absolutely offended*
Keith: You’re in the Kogane Residence. Mind your manners. 

When Shiro and Keith announced they were getting married, Keith got an overseas call from Makoto’s mom saying that her child was acting a bit strange when they got their wedding invitation. When the call ended, he just sighed.

Keith: God. I should’ve ended it when he was young.
Shiro: *studying* *scribbling stuff* End what?
Keith: Remember my cousin, Makoto? So apparently he isn’t taking the whole wedding thing as positively as I’ve hoped for.
Shiro: *looks up at Keith* Ah. Well, you wouldn’t have known considering we’ve been together for 8 years, he might’ve gotten the idea already.
Keith: *rests his head on the table* *groans* He apparently did not get the idea. It was a cute crush back then. *frowns* He should’ve known I’m too old for him. And we’re related. 
Shiro: Didn’t stop the royals. *smirks*
Keith: *glares at Shiro* NOT. HELPING. *kicks his shin under the table*
Shiro: Ow! You are so brutal! *sits father away from Keith* But relax, babe. He’ll come around. 

Not-so-little Makoto attended Shiro and Keith’s wedding. During the reception, Keith found the boy by the sushi section.

Keith: Hey, baby boy, you okay?
Makoto: *stops and looks at Keith* 
Keith: *smiles*
Makoto: You used to call me that when I was a kid.
Keith: *nods* I did. Makoto, I—
Makoto: *smiles* It’s fine, Keith. *goes back to getting food* I mean, I’m just being stupid. I should’ve been over my crush on you ages ago but—
Keith: But?
Makoto: *deflates* I couldn’t. *frowns* *looks at Keith* But, I am now. Over my crush on you, I mean. *flushes*
Keith: *raises an eyebrow* You sure? You’re not gonna attack my husband or something? *smiles*
Makoto: *chuckles* Nah, he’s bigger than I am. *shakes head* It’s cool now. It’s chill. *hand in front of him*
Keith: “It’s chill?” *eyebrows still raised* Where are you getting—
Makoto: *hugs Keith* *whispers* I’m really happy for you, Keith. I’m happy you found a wonderful man to spend the rest of your life with. I’m sure he makes you happy as much as you make him happy.
Keith: *hugs back* Thank you. That means a lot to me coming from you. 
Makoto: *lets go and Keith* *beams at him* *leans in to give Keith a kiss on the cheek* Consolation prize. 
Keith: *smirks* SNEAKY.

When Keith got back from his talk with Makoto, Shiro looked at him worriedly.

Shiro: All good?
Keith: Yeah, all good. *smiles* *interlaces his fingers with Shiro* *sees Makoto smiling at him from one of the tables*

anonymous asked:

19 + 4 with Lance Tucker?

”Please.. Just talk to me.” He pleaded, following you out of his apartment as you carried a box of your belongings to your car. “What is there to talk about, Lance?” You spat, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over the edges of your eyes. “Y/N, come on. We’ve been friends for years! Don’t fucking do this to me.” His voice broke on the last word, along with your heart.



You loved Lance, you always had, and the last thing you ever wanted to do was hurt him. He was your best friend. He’d helped you through so many dark times, been there for you when nobody else bothered.. He was your rock… but he went too far this time.



“I didn’t fucking do anything to you, Lance. You did this all on your own.” You told him, opening your trunk and placing the box down gently. “I don’t understand what I did wrong.” He said softly, standing behind you with his eyes to the ground. You spun around, your eyes wild with anger.



”You don’t know what you did wrong?” You asked, appalled. He kept his eyes down, chewing on his lip as you continued. “You fucking kissed me in front of my boyfriend, Lance. That’s what you did.” A frown worked its way onto his lips at your words as he shook his head. “I won’t apologize for it.” He told you softly, which only made you scoff, turning and walking towards the front of your car.



He grabbed your arm before you could open your car door, pulling you into his chest. “Just.. Please, let me explain, and if it’s really what you want, I swear, you’ll never have to see me again.” His eyes searched yours, unshed tears clouding the beautiful blue orbs. You found yourself at a loss for words, simply nodding instead.



His grip on you loosened as he let out a small breath, licking his lips as he tried to come up with the proper words to speak.



”I..” He paused, shaking his head and growling softly. You watched him carefully, noting the way his face scrunched up in frustration, the way his eyes flashed with every emotion, every thought that was going through his mind. “You know we’ve always been closer than most friends.. We went to prom together.. I took you to my cousins wedding last year.. We’ve spent nearly every Valentine’s Day together, up until you met Paul.. I.. You know how much I care for you..” His voice was soft. Tentative. You could hear the slight shake of nervousness in his tone, and you had to resist the urge to reach out and touch him. To comfort him.



His eyes met yours once more, glistening with more tears. “I want you to look at me the way you look at him.” He whispered, making your chest ache and your eyes sting. Never in a million years would you have guessed that Lance felt this way for you. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for him at one point, but you had tried to push those thoughts from your head when you met Paul. You thought it was impossible for Lance to ever want you.



He took in a shaky breath before continuing to speak. “I should be the one holding your hand, takin’ you out to fancy dinners and holding you close when you get scared. It should be me making you smile so hard that your cheeks hurt and wiping away your tears after you’ve had a bad day at work.. Baby, I..” He stopped himself, clenching his jaw as he stared into your eyes. “I’m in love with you.” You could see something spark behind his eyes when he spoke those words and a soft smile formed on his lips. “I’m in love with you.” He repeated, more confident than before. “And I’m not sorry for that.”



It took you a few moments to compose yourself, and he took that as an opportunity to come closer to you, his forehead resting against yours. “If you’re so in love with me, then why sleep with all of these different girls?” You whispered, licking your lips as you remembered each and every girl he had used over the past ten years to get his fix. He let out a slow breath, shaking his head and making his hair tickle your skin.



”Do you know how hard it is to read you, babe? I swear, up until Paul, I wasn’t sure if you were even into men..” He said with a small laugh, but you didn’t find it funny. His face sobered up quickly when he noticed the lack of a smile on your face. “Babe, I..” He stopped, biting his lip as he stared down at you. You could see the wheels turning in his mind and before you knew it, his lips found yours in a soft, sweet kiss. You couldn’t hide the quiet moan that escaped your lips at the contact and his hands snaked around your waist, pulling you tighter to his chest.



Kissing Lance was different than kissing Paul. There was no spark with Paul, no fire. Lance’s kisses made you dizzy and left you craving more.



It took you a moment before you came to your senses and pushed him away, both of you left breathless from the intensity of the kiss. He flicked is tongue out across his lower lip, humming softly as he smirked. “Don’t think I didn’t hear that little moan, kitten.. I know you enjoyed that as much as I did.” He murmured, his fingertips dipping under the edge of your shirt to tease your skin.



You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Was he right? Did you enjoy it more than you should? “I.. I have to go.” You whispered, voice shaking. The smirk fell from his lips at your reaction. “Kitten, I’m sorry, I—“ You cut him off by pulling out of his grasp and smoothing out your shirt. “I need to go talk to Paul, I..” You swallowed hard, closing your eyes briefly before opening them back up and meeting his gaze. “I have to tell him the truth.” You whispered. Lance stayed silent for a moment before he spoke again. “And what is the truth?” He wondered, cocking his head to the side.



Instead of giving him a clear answer, you responded with, “I’ll call you later”, turning and walking to the drivers side of your car swiftly. The sparkle in his eye told you he knew what you were up to, or at least, he hoped he was right.

Originally posted by kingsebastian

anonymous asked:

fun fact: similarly to how you hc jake and amy call the baby peanut, my parents called me "lentil" because that's how big i was

PU R E?????? 

anonymous asked:

I'm not explaining this sam/mm wedding thing away. But my cousin got married this past fall. Both his sisters brought dates to the wedding. Neither one of those dates were boyfriends. Just long time friends. So, who knows.

Sure…I mean anything is possible. After all, that is how I explained Baftas away… but, you can only dip into that ink well so many times… at some point Tony and MMs continued presence can no longer be explained away as just casual friends.

Jinyoung Imagine - Wedding Song

A/N - A request from a lovely anon~ Sorry it took so long to get this request written up! Hope you all enjoy.

…Okay, so I keep on telling my cousin that I want those songs to be played at my wedding someday. Of course, I was half-joking because as much as I want to it would kind of weird because my husband-to-be is definitely not going to be a beast. Would you make a Jinyoung scenario for me instead where he surprises his bride by using either “Beauty and the Beast” and/or “Something There” as a song for their first dance as husband and wife or something like that?

The whole day had felt so surreal. You were wearing a gorgeous white dress, your hair and makeup had been styled to perfection and the day was just going perfectly. Today was the day you had gotten married to your long term boyfriend, Jinyoung. He was like your own fairytale prince, just like in the movies you grew up watching. Throughout your relationship, the two of you had shared cute nicknames but the ones that always stuck were ‘prince’ and ‘princess’. Jinyoung really treated you like royalty and so you did the same to him. Your cute regal nicknames had begun the moment Jinyoung saw how much you loved Disney, particularly Beauty and the Beast. That film had really shaped your relationship and helped the two of you to grow closer. Some of your best memories with him were spent singing the soundtrack in your shared kitchen or on holiday in one of the Disney parks, seeing the live stage show. There was nothing much you loved more than Jinyoung and that film.

The wedding reception had quickly begun and both you and Jinyoung were greeting old friends and family members, struggling to keep track of everyone there. So many people had come to celebrate your marriage and it warmed your heart to see it all. If it wasn’t for the immaculate makeup on your face, you’d have probably been crying by now with how happy and emotional you felt. Jinyoung was stood beside you, watching as everyone danced and chatted with each other. His hand had barely left your waist all day and you could tell he wasn’t planning on changing that anytime soon.
“Today has been the best day of my life,” Jinyoung confessed, turning his gaze to you. The smile that graced his face was beautiful and radiant.
“Me too. I can’t believe we’re actually married now, Jinyoung.”
“My beautiful princess is finally my wife.”
“And my handsome prince is now my husband.” The two of you leaned in for a loving kiss that was soon interrupted by the sounds of a familiar song being played.

The opening notes of Beauty and the Beast rang out and the lights went dim, save for a few spotlights that focused on you and your husband. He stepped forward, his hand reached out to yours, signalling for you to follow him onto the dance floor. Then you began to dance to the beautiful music that played, emotions quickly rising. This song had shaped your relationship and meant so much to you and the look on Jinyoung’s face told you he had been planning this all along. The two of you danced around, completely lost in each other while your friends and family members watched, some of them teary-eyed like yourself and Jinyoung. Once the song was over, everyone clapped and cheered at your beautiful first dance as husband and wife. Jinyoung leaned in to kiss you again, unable to get enough of you now that you had both sworn to love each other for the rest of your lives. The night was magical and really felt like you had found your own happily ever after.

Cake

Looking through documents in my google docs and I found this. It says I posted it at some point so I’m going to post it again here since I deleted my other blog.

Just random cute Gail and Holly.

~~~~~

Gail lifted her head and let it fall back down onto the metal desk of the evidence locker with a thunk. She had repeated the action every few minutes for the past hour hoping that time would go faster or that she’d get a concussion and could leave. Sadly, nothing had come of it so far. Her phone started to vibrate against her leg. Before she met Holly she would have just let it go but her new friend had proved to be a great distraction during the lulls at work. Momentarily feeling like a psychic she smiled at the text notification from Lunchbox on her lock screen.

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Would you like to dance?

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Comedy

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: Your best friend’s got a few tricks up her sleeve during her wedding

Note: My cousin’s first wedding anniversary was just recently! I’m pretty emotional can you tell. + I based it off of Filipino wedding traditions and just a tad bit of American? Not sure.

Originally posted by allforbts

She was beautiful. Absolutely stunning as you watched her float around the dance floor, arms strewn around her newly wedded husband’s shoulders. You promised each other when you were children that you would be each other’s maid of honour, the deal only half done since she had beaten you to it; marrying her first love as soon as college had finished.

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