@ teacups

Ten of the cutest things

1. Large, widely-spaced eyes are very cute. This is why I have placed cow eyeballs on an approximately 50cm grid all over my garden. I now have the cutest garden.

2. Small creatures falling asleep are cute. It is even cuter if they fall off something as a consequence of having fallen asleep. For example, this is what cockroaches may do if they fall asleep on the ceiling.

3. Also very cute: things that are so fluffy that it slightly impairs their ability to function, such as computing equipment that has been stored in a dusty environment.

4. Many everyday items that are not initially cute can become cute if you cut off their WD-40 supply for long enough that they start making tiny squeaky noises. Tiny squeaky noises are very cute.

5. Things that are standing on wobbly legs are cute. You can improve the world’s cuteness by always removing those napkins people stuff under the legs of wonky tables in pavement cafes.

6. Things that can fit in teacups are cute. This includes tea. Tea is only cute if it fits into the teacup, so always remember to stop pouring before it becomes not cute.

7. Things that are showing you their bellies are also cute.

8. Things that are snuggled together are cute as well. These last two items are why a room full of writhing snakes is cute, but only if the snakes are all in the same place and you happen to catch them mid-writhe in a belly-up position. At least twenty percent of people who have rooms of writhing snakes have observed this curious phenomenon and it is certainly a brick to the cutebrain when you see it.

9. Things that are smaller than you were expecting them to be are cute. This list is smaller than you were expecting because I have ground the tenth item to a messy pulp and fed it to a walrus. It also contains many other items that are cute. Therefore it is one of the cutest lists.