Cas isn’t there when the Winchesters close the gates of Heaven, and maybe that’s a good thing, because when Sam sees Dean’s face, sure he just condemned his best friend to a slow, torturous death, he thinks, privately, it would have been worse if Dean had seen Cas get pulled away.
Though it probably couldn’t be worse than this.
Dean avoids Sam for the first few days in the Batcave, finally pulling himself out of his stupor to go through the motions. Sam sees him cooking, cleaning, dusting bookshelves. Nothing too taxing. Nothing to remind him of Cas, either.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
It’s nearly a month before Sam tries to talk to him about it. Dean had been so much more open since he got back from Purgatory, he thought that maybe, maybe this time, they could actually work through it.
Dean tells him to leave before he collapses Sam’s skull with the TV remote. If you ever talk about Cas again, I swear to God I will grow wings and smite you myself.
It’s two months before Dean smiles again. This reassures Sam. Smiling is good, even if it’s smiling with no real happiness behind it, with no light in his eyes. Sam misses the real smiles, but he’ll make do with these for now. At least he’s healing.
It’s three months and Dean’s nearly moved on, except he hasn’t. Sam will find him staring blankly at a detailed drawing of wings in an old book, or absent-mindedly making a third burger during dinner, or doing the sheets on a third bed somewhere in the house. Sam asks him once why he does these things.
Just in case, Dean says.
It’s three months. Dean hasn’t moved on. Dean is still hurting. But he won’t pray, not anymore. There’s no point, Sam. No one’s out there to pray to. Sam has to agree this time.
Except Sam has always prayed, so he does now. Hey, Cas. I know you probably can’t hear me, but you might still be out there. We don’t know what happened when we closed Heaven. So if you can hear me, I need you to come back home. To us, I mean. To Dean. He’s hurting, Cas, hurting a lot. He needs you.
Cas is probably dead. If he’s not, he’s locked in Heaven, being tortured for eternity. Somehow, the former seems like the far better alternative.
They start taking cases again. Sometimes hunters come to the Batcave for information or help. They’re less hunters as they are the new Bobby, coaching the generation of hunters springing up, because there are always monsters to fight.
A knock comes at the door. Dean frowns at Sam. Was anyone coming today? I don’t know. Dean opens the door and gasps loudly. A familiar voice greets them.
I KNEW I LIKED YOU
oh mAN as long as dean’s happy in the end I’m happy =)))))) cas will always find his way back to his boys