;the last five years

Repeat after me: Professional recordings of musicals are the key to the revival of musical theatre within popular culture

Renamed Musicals
  • • Les Miserables: Breadsticks Meme Gone Wrong ft. The Only Cop in France.
  • • Miss Saigon: Americans Fuck Shit Up, the musical!
  • • Legally Blonde: This is Harvard, not a Stripper Bar.
  • • Wicked: Misunderstood Green Girl and Sparkly Witch Hide Lesbian Feelings
  • • Little Women: That Story Where All the Girls Fall in Love
  • • Book of Mormon: Spooky Mormon Hell and Crude Gay Humor Clash w/ Sparkly Tuxedoes.
  • • Shrek: Don’t Judge a Book By It’s Cover; Another Show About Diversity.
  • • The Last Five Years: How Not to Adult: A Manual
  • • Joseph and the blah, blah, blah: Fifty Shades of Bible Humor
  • • Suessical: Always Trust that Weird Voice you Hear PS Elephants Can’t Fly
  • • Songs for a New World: I’m Sure There’s a Story Here Somewhere…
  • • Thirteen: Puberty Sucks Plus Jewish Jokes and Weird Sexual Tension
  • • Matilda: We’ll Fight Like Twenty Armies and We Won’t Give up ft. Miss Honey’s Self Esteem Issues.
  • • Spring Awakening: Why Sex Ed Matters, the musical!
  • • Next to Normal: The Story of a Sexy Ghost
  • • Avenue Q: Horney Puppets Use the Internet for Porn and Then Build a School For Monsters.
  • • Children of Eden: Bible fanfiction.
  • • The Drowsy Chaperone: Hallucinations of a Man in a Chair
  • • Violet: Sutton Foster and a Sob Story ft. Indecipherable Accents
  • • Anything Goes: Into the Woods, Except on a Ship
  • • How to Succeed: A Dummies Guide to Making an Ass Out of
  • Yourself
  • • Once on this Island: Why Gods Should Not Interfere With Humans
  • • Into the Woods: Fairytale AU on Crack
  • • Fun Home; Gay Tears, the musical!
  • • In the Heights: Everybody has Issues in the Barrio.
  • • Chess: East West Relations Under Different Masks and Various Plots
  • • RENT: Diversity, Death, and Drugs.
  • • Annie: My Life Sucks: By Me.
  • • Sweeny Todd: Revenge Means Killing Everybody
  • • Young Frankenstein: It Runs in the Family.
  • <p> <b>My Brain:</b> How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a- HEYYYYY HEYYY shiksa goddess I've been waiting for someone like you I dreamed a dream of endless summerrrrrPOPular you're gonna be popUUlar IM A DEAD GIRL WALKING springggg and summmmerrrr EVERY OTHER DAYYYYY 525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear NINETY-SIX THOUSAND the green green dress, twenty buttons and a strap who lives, who dies who tells your stooooorrrryyyy...<p/><b>Me:</b> Hold on, those weren't the right lyrics.<p/></p>

we will never be satisfied - bad-ass broadway feminists who have empowered women and changed the face of musical theatre

the schuyler sisters - hamilton // i can do better than that - the last five years // it won’t be long now - in the heights // right hand man - something rotten! // watch what happens - newsies // all to pieces - violet // ring of keys - fun home // on the steps of the palace - into the woods // naughty - matilda // everything’s coming up roses - gypsy // take me or leave me - rent // don’t rain on my parade - funny girl // colored woman - memphis // lot’s wife - caroline, or change // bring it on - bring it on: the musical // before it’s over - dogfight // astonishing - little women // shall i tell you what i think of you - the king and i // get out and stay out - 9 to 5 // satisfied - hamilton // defying gravity - wicked // so much better - legally blonde //

L I S T E N

“two hundred girls who are younger and thinner than me” doesn’t really work when anna kendrick is the one singing it. who are these two hundred girls who are younger and thinner than anna kendrick?? what’s she auditioning for? annie???

Things Each Musical Reminds Me Of

*based on the period of my life when I listened to the musical the most, not the actual content of the musical; though it’s kind of funny how each musical relates to what it reminds me of

Wicked: unexpectedly starting a conversation with an old friend and realizing you miss them

The Phantom of the Opera: the kind of love you don’t expect anything from

RENT: rebelling against your parents for the first time

The Sound of Music: finding family in friends you never expected to meet

Newsies: adventures and memories that come from the people you were with not the places you went

Les Miserables: disappointment you won’t remember in a month but you needed to experience

Next to Normal: self-growth when you least expect it

The Last Five Years: losing what you were looking for but finding something better

If/Then: independence is not loneliness

Love Never Dies: sharing something you love with your friends because you want them to know how important they are to you

Avenue Q: going on a road trip with your best friend and singing until your throat is raw

Spring Awakening: continuously learning and falling in love with something you already know so well

The Book of Mormon: second-hand happiness because the person who means so much to you is where they want to be

Daddy Long Legs: accidental all-nighters reading horoscopes with your friends

Fun Home: allowing yourself time for growth; accepting not everything has to come at once

Hamilton: meeting someone once and knowing from then on you won’t go a day in your life without them

Heathers: the worst new beginnings that somehow still lead to the best new things

In the Heights: forgetting why you started doing something and beginning to do it for yourself

Dear Evan Hansen: the trust someone hands you when they introduce you to their favorite band

Waitress: a person you associate with your entire life but you’ve only known a short while

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: forgiveness you don’t deserve and the hope that comes from your lowest moments

Falsettos: long distance friendships with origin stories no one will believe

8

Well, well, what else is in store, got all this and more before twenty-four”

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN SCHIFF PLATT!

The signs as musical theatre responses to the US election results
  • Aries: No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
  • Taurus: I dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living
  • Gemini: You've torn it all apart, I'm watching it burn
  • Cancer: You have invented a new kind of stupid a damage you can never undo kind of stupid
  • Leo: There's a moment you know you're fucked
  • Virgo: Go and hide and run away
  • Libra: Why God, why today?
  • Scorpio: Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise
  • Sagittarius: I know him, that can't be
  • Capricorn: See it's your fault. No. Yes it's your fault
  • Aquarius: Do you hear the people sing? Singing the songs of angry men?
  • Pisces: Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit

okay but have you considered: Hamilton and Eliza’s relationship in “The Last Five Years order” (Eliza’s storyline starting at the end and moving backward, Hamilton’s storyline starting at the beginning and moving forward)

  1. Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story? – Eliza
  2. A Winter’s Ball – Hamilton
  3. Burn – Eliza
  4. Story of Tonight (reprise) – Hamilton
  5. Take a Break – Both
  6. That Would Be Enough – Eliza
  7. Say No to This – Hamilton
  8. Helpless – Eliza
  9. Best of Wives and Best of Women – Hamilton

I put it into a nice neat playlist for you all to listen and cry along [x]

I’m sorry and you’re welcome.