I really love those “time is made up” posts bc they remind me that timelines are totally not real. Like, the pressure to Be Somebody and have your entire life sewn up by the time you’re thirty is just a fake ad campaign to make nuclear families seem like a comfortable inevitability so that capitalism has an easier time propagating itself, or rather, being propagated.

Okay but imagine that one die hard vegan/animal rights activist that makes it into Valhalla and they’re just like- “I can’t eat this goat I don’t eat meat.” Cue Halfborn being like “it’s okay noob it has a tofu flank. And the new kid is like "yeah but the tofu CAME FROM AN ANIMAL.” Mallory would role her eyes. “It’s okay doofus it resurrects every morning. Now eat your goat tofu and shut up.” And this lil bean is all “NO I WILL EAT MY TOFU I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS ENDLESS CYCLE OF MAGICAL GOAT OPPRESSION.” And goes to get up from the table and sweet lil Maggie’s just “but you gotta eat kid.” “NO I DON’T I’M DEAD!!!!”

anonymous asked:

Waaah!! Just because you ship something doesn't mean everyone else has to!!!!! I can tag it as whatever I want on my blog waah waah cry

LOL. Guuuurl! You can ship what ya like. I just find it odd and cringe when people tag the gayest shit as “brotp”. like fuck, two people could literally be kissing and people’d be like “brotp!”, it’s just weird. And also, what’s the female version? “sistp?”, just does not make sense. Go home, Mallory. Yerrr drunk. 

Women’s March Organizers

Top row (left to right): Ting Ting Cheng, Tabitha St. Bernard, Janaye Ingram, Paola Mendoza, Cassady Fendlay, Linda Sarsour, Bob Bland, Nantasha Williams, Breanne Butler, Ginny Suss, Sarah Sophie Flicker. 

Bottom row (left to right): Tamika Mallory, Carmen Perez, Vanessa Wruble.


This might be the best thing I’ve seen all week! Shout out to whoever made it!


“No one ever thinks chicks do shit like this. A girl can only be a slut, bitch, tease, or the virgin next door.”


(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUrqUWNcSOg)

Guys, this is one of my fave spoken words of all time.