After three months apart, Jude heads off to Los Angeles to spend a long weekend with Connor. What he finds when he arrives startles him though, and rather than surprising Connor like he intended, he sneaks around. Who is this kid Toby, and why does he seem so close to Connor?
Technically requested by anon, though I’ve figured out that anon was actually blueforjudeandconnor lmao <3
The next four days of Jude and Connor’s vacation were filled with adventure, laughter, happiness and love. From playing put-put golf to jet skiing to sun bathing on the beach; everything they did together was magical and memorable.
On the last day of their vacation, Jude told Connor that he had a surprise for him.
“Would you just tell me, Jude?!” Connor giggled as Jude was dragging him out into the garden area behind the hotel.
They turned the corner into the big, open field surrounded by palm trees and tropical flowers. In front of them were a few other hotel guests and hula dancers wearing traditional clothing.
Connor turned to Jude with a confused look on his face.
“I signed us up for hula lessons!” Jude beamed. “I saw it on the activities board when we first got here. I figured this would be a fun thing for us to learn together since this is our last day here!”
Connor smiled in disbelief at his loving boyfriend and pulled him into a quick hug. “This is so awesome! Thank you!”
They headed over hand in hand to the group of people, finding open spots in the back.
One of the hula instructors walked around, handing out colorful lays and grass skirts to everyone while another instructor introduced herself as Jenna.
While Jude and Connor put on their yellow lays and grass skirts, Jenna explained that the class would be learning a hula routine after they learn the basics.
As Jenna went through the steps, other instructors weaved through the rows of guests to help them with the moves. They stopped a lot to help Jude and Connor who were stumbling through most of the moves. The instructors kept telling Jude and Connor to think of the flow of the waves to help them flow to the music.
After about fifteen minutes of learning the basic steps, the instructors moved right on to the routine.
Surprisingly, Jude and Connor were slowly getting it. They were loosening themselves up, feeling the gentle sway in each step they took. They still giggled every now and then but got more and more focused into it.
After about an hour of learning the dance, all the guests formed into one line. Proudly, Jude and Connor performed the entire dance with the other guests for the instructors without their help. Jude and Connor both kept moving their arms and hands perfectly in sync with the music as they told the story through dance. Everyone hit the final pose and the instructors roared with applause.
“That was so cool!” Jude exclaimed, almost jumping up and down.
“I know! Who knew I could move my hips like that?!”
Jude chuckled, “Especially in that beautiful grass skirt.”
Connor playfully nudged his shoulder. “Well of course. Remember you’re wearing one too!”
“I know and I like it! Maybe I’ll buy it and teach Jesus how to dance the hula.”
Connor laughed, pulling him in to kiss the top of his head. “Now THAT’D be a sight to see!”
They ate their last dinner in Hawaii at the twinkling lights restaurant they ate at their first night, wearing their tacky souvenir shirts they bought also on the first night. When they finished their meals, they walked hand in hand to the beach so they were down by the water.
The sun was slowly beginning to set over the sea as they strolled aimlessly down the beach. They each had their sandals in one hand while the other hand was intertwined with the another.
When they got a little further down the beach away from everyone, Connor stopped walking.
Jude raised an eyebrow. Just as he was about to ask what’s up, Connor spoke.
“You gave me a surprise earlier today, so now it’s my turn to give you one.”
Connor pulled out a silver ring from his pocket.
Jude gasped, panic washing over his face. “Wait-are you proposing?!”
Connor’s eyes went wide but then started to chuckle, “No! No! Jude, It’s a promise ring!”
Jude’s face calmed but his heart was still beating rapidly.
Connor cleared his throat, taking in a deep breath. “I love you, Jude and I always have and always will no matter what. And I do…I want to plan on spending the rest of my life with you…but until then, I thought this promise ring would be enough.”
Jude started to get teary eyed. “That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Connor grinned. “So…will you wear it?”
Jude wrapped his hands around Connor’s neck, pulling him into a long kiss.
Connor chuckled as they broke apart, “I still need an answer, Jude!”
Jude laughed, “Shut up! Of course I’ll wear it!” And then eagerly kissed him again.
When they broke apart, Connor slid the ring onto Jude’s left ring finger. They both grinned ear to ear, colliding into a bunch of giggling kisses. They heard a huge splash and broke apart to see a whale fin hitting the water. They both stared in amazement, seeing the creature for a brief moment as it swam out towards the sunset.
Jude turned to Connor, pulling him in by the waist. Connor smiled sweetly at this, running his hand through Jude’s hair. As Connor pulled Jude in for one more loving kiss, they both thought the same thing:
Jude opened his eyes. Not completely sure if anything actually woke him up. But he was glad that he had, so that he could consciously enjoy what he felt. And what he felt was a big warm arm wrapped around his waist, and another one underneath his neck, the hand resting on his shoulder. And that familiar face nestled into the base of his neck. He touched the arm laying across his stomach, and ran his fingers along it. Feeling the tiny almost invisible blond hairs sprouting from the golden tan skin. This skin. Gold, and warm as if it had captured and radiated the heat it stole from the sun itself. He deeply inhaled the sweet somewhat musky scent of his boyfriend, and laid a gentle kiss onto his head. Connor stirred slightly interrupting his quiet snoring, readjusted his arms so that they both squeezed around Jude’s waist, and that half of his body was laying over him and placed his feet so that they connected with Jude’s. Jude countered with wrapping his small thin arms around Connor’s broad shoulders. Connor let out something similar to a raspberry with his lips in his sleep and Jude smiled a little at his boyfriend. If Jude didn’t want to keep holding Connor this way forever, he might’ve moved to see his his face. He loved the face Connor had while he slept. So totally relaxed, so peaceful, usually with his lips perked out slightly. Maybe if they stayed like this time would slow perhaps even for a little bit. Maybe everything would stop moving so fucking quickly. It always seemed like as soon as something great was handed to him, it was ripped away so easily. As much as he liked to stay optimistic with an “its for the best” attitude, it was moments like these that were tainted with the cruel reality that soon he would be alone again. These precious warm moments that contained the peace that was so rarely had and rarely existed in his younger childhood, and soon they were to become scarce once again. His breathing became slightly hitched, feeling his eyes well up with tears, and he tried to blink them away. But the clogging of his sinuses that of course came with the onset of crying didn’t help, and a tear ran down his face. He sniffled quietly, trying so very hard to not wake Connor. Jude was never sure if he believed in God, or heaven, or any sort of higher power. But the reality he had be avoiding for so long was hitting a little too close to home this morning, and at this point he was willing to ask anyone watching from above. He closed his eyes. He cleared his mind, and thought loud and clear. “I know it’s been a long time since I’ve ever tried to talk to you, whoever you are. And I don’t know why you’d want to help me if I never even talk to you. And I’ve tried to make the best of the hand you’ve dealt me, but I really, really need your help. I’ve felt so alone for a long time, and even though you’ve given me everything and everyone I need to not feel alone, this person matters the most to me right now. And I need him. I need him to not leave. I need him to stay here, because I don’t know if I can wait for a visit here and there for him to come make me happy. He makes me feel like that huge hole in me isn’t so big, and he makes me feel like I’m not on the outside looking in on everyone. So please, even if you never listen to me again, please listen this one time. Keep him here with me.”
Unfortunately Jude’s sniffling had become a little louder, and his breath a little more raggedy during his otherwise silent prayer. He had unknowingly shaken awake the slumbering blonde in his arms. “Jude?” “Jude what’s wrong?” He raised up looking at his tear stained wet faced boyfriend. Jude really didn’t know what to say. He opened his mouth but he quickly realized he didn’t have anything to say. “Jude why are you crying? Are you hurt?” Connor’s voice still quiet but urgent and worried. Jude failed to do anything but shake his head, a few more tears rolling. Connor glanced at his alarm clock. They had awoken about 5 AM, about an hour before his alarm was set to go off. “Jude please don’t cry, just tell me what’s going on please…” He rolled all the way onto Jude, straddling him so that he could put his hands on Jude’s face and wipe away the tears. He put a few gentle kisses on his forehead, cheeks, chin, and a chaste one on his lips, tasting a little of salt from the dried tears. He stroked Jude’s cheeks with his thumbs, trying to keep contact with the puffy glossed doe eyes. He absolutely hated seeing Jude cry. He’d only seen him cry once when he had talked about his mother, but even momentarily, it still ripped his spirit in half, squeezed his heart, and sucked the air from his lungs. He always hated seeing people cry, but Jude, he could hardly bear it. “Jude, I love you, please stop crying. I love you, okay?” He squeaked out. Even Jude couldn’t help but vision the boy before him similar to that of a puppy crying at his owner. The thought comforted him a little, and he was able to croak out a quiet “I love you too.” He squeezed his eyes shut, noticing how absolutely horrible it made Connor feel, and shook his head from Connor’s hands to wipe away the remaining pools in his eyes. “I’m fine, really. I just got kinda sad thinking we’re not gonna be able to do this a whole lot anymore. Sorry to make you all worried, I’m fine, really.” Even though his explanation was oversimplified, it didn’t make it any less true. The feelings were a lot more complex and rippled much deeper than the vocabulary of any 8th grader, but for now this would have to do. And its meaning seemed to translate to Connor just fine and he understood. The blonde straddling him returned his hands to Jude’s temples, feeling his soft brown locks. A gentle warm kiss to Jude’s still slightly blubbering lips followed. Jude let out a muffled “Mmm” and returned his arms to their previous position around the broad shoulders. Connor smiled a bit at his ability to pacify his boyfriend this way. He managed to wrap his arms around Jude’s stomach and rolled onto his back so that Jude was on top. They broke apart, Jude settling with his nose resting in the area just beneath Connor’s jaw. His hand draped across the chest, a leg draping across the larger boy’s thighs. He once again savored this moment, this feeling, this comfort. If comfort could be conveyed in the five senses, Jude was absolutely sure that it would be translated as the feeling of Connor’s skin, the taste of his mouth, his voice, his scent, and his face. As he began to hear the return of Connor’s gentle snoring once again, he closed his eyes once more, cleared his mind.
9 out of 10 times, someone is watching you. It’s a study I’ve conducted more than once everyday. Then I wonder if there is something in my teeth or maybe they find me attractive? Yet I simply ignore the set of eyes scanning me, and I go about my business fantasizing about my best friend in every way possible. Maybe that’s why people are staring, do they know what I’m thinking of? Can they see my wishes and burning desires to be with my best friend even though he doesn’t like me as I like him? Well, I don’t know this for sure, yet…