;conceit

Every summer we’re treated to the same buffet of three or four science fiction movies with the same basic conceits. There’s man vs. aliens, man vs. robots, man vs. army of clones and man vs. complicated time travel rules. With virtual reality and self-driving cars fast approaching, it’s time to consider what type of sci-fi movie we want to be living in for the rest of our lives. Co-hosts Jack O'Brien and Adam Tod Brown are joined by Cracked’s Tom Reimann and Josh Sargent and comedians David Huntsberger, Adam Newman and Caitlin Gill to figure out which sci-fi trope would be the best to make a reality.

Which Sci-Fi Trope Would You Bring To The Real World And Why? 

2

The Prayer Of Mary – The Magnificat 

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children forever. ……(Lk 1:46-55)
Image – The Magnificat (Le magnificat) – James Tissot

Can’t you just text me before you come over, like any normal person? Chapter 10:

It was 1.45am and Missy was at a club.

Her friend Karen had dragged her out, complaining that she never get to see her anymore, but had subsequently spent the entire evening poured all over some guy she had just met, leaving Missy alone.

Missy had spent the entire night as a third wheel, merely sitting in the corner of a booth downing shot after shot to console herself, while her friend and this random guy partook in the most awkward PDA imaginable.

It was about thirty minutes ago that a drunk guy had the bar had offered to buy Missy a drink, but when she had turned him down, he had grabbed her ass and told her to not be such a conceited bitch. So all in all it had not been a brilliant night out for her….

All she wanted to do now was to get home and forget about the whole thing.

“Karen, I’m going to go,” she yelled over the loud club music.

Her dark-haired friend extracted her lips from the guy she was making out with and stared up at Missy.

“Oh don’t go! We’re having fun!” she said with a whine.

Missy forced a smile. She most definitely wasn’t having fun.

“No, I’m tired, I’m just going to take a cab home,” said Missy, tucking her long caramel hair behind her ears. “You stay safe though ok?”

She gave the guy Karen was with, a cautious glance as her friend beamed up at her.

“Ok, but text me when you’re home, yeah?” said Karen, grasping Missy’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

Missy squeezed back before hitching up her chain handbag and walking off.

She wove her way through the crowd pushing through groups of dancing people as she did so before finally reaching the doors that led out of the club and stepping out into the cold night air.

She shivered slightly. She only had a tight black dress and heels on and she cursed herself for not bringing a jacket.

She quickly moved aside as two girls pushed past her into the club.

There was a line stretching down the block of party-goers waiting to get inside.

Missy reached into her handbag for her phone. She frowned. It wasn’t there.

“Fuck…” she murmured.

She lifted up the her little bag and made to root through it but it was empty, save for a tube of lipstick and the keys to her apartment.

Both her phone and purse were gone. They must have been snatched as she was walking through the crowds mere moments ago.

She paled and turned to head back inside but suddenly a large doorman held an arm out in front of her blocking her path.

“You need to join the line if you want to come inside,” he said in a thick accent, gazing down at her disinterestedly.

Missy, shot him a confused look. “I just came from in there, I lost my cell phone and my-”

“Did you get a wristband?” he asked in a gruff voice, his attention elsewhere.

“No, but I-” she began.

“Then you’ll have to join the line,” he said, nodding towards the enormous queue, before turning away from her and beckoning a party of three forwards and letting them inside.

Missy stepped back onto the cold pavement. All she wanted to do was go home.

But she had no money and no phone and was at least a dozen blocks away from her apartment.

Tentatively she approached a yellow cab, parked a few feet away.

She lent down as the driver lowered his window.

“Uh, I need a cab to Elm Avenue,” she began, choosing her words carefully. “I don’t have any cash at the moment, but I can-”

“No money, no ride,” said the cab driver, immediately winding up his window.

Missy stepped back and gave a gulp, moving aside as a guy and a girl pushed past her and stumbled into the back of the taxi.

She turned and looked down the street leading away from the club.

She could wait around here for Karen to leave but it didn’t look as though that was going to happen any time soon, with both her and her guy having a pretty good time in the unlit corners of the club.

The street, at least, looked pretty well lit. Perhaps the journey on foot wouldn’t be so bad. She glanced down at her outfit, desperately wishing she had brought a coat or at least a change of shoes.

She took in a deep breath and made up her mind.

Clutching her arms tightly around herself, she began to walk.

The first two blocks weren’t too bad, with nightclub goers staggering about here and there and cabs zooming past, but it was when she turned the corner she paused.

The street ahead of her was dingy and very dimly lit. Large tower apartments lined the sides of the road and large trash cans littered the side walk.

She gave a gulp.

There were no people here. No cars either. The whole block had an eerie feel to it that Missy couldn’t quite shake.

She strode on, clutching her almost empty bag tightly to her.

She was half way down the street when suddenly there was a loud crash behind her. Missy swung around, her heart thumping inside her chest, only to see a large black cat which had just tipped over a dustbin, streak past her.

She breathed hard, her heart still racing.

She sped up, her high heeled shoes rubbing against her sore feet, but right now she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was get home as quickly as possible.

Missy glanced nervously over her shoulder.

She had the horrible feeling that someone was watching her. Trying to shake the thought from her mind, she continued on.

By now she was freezing, she rubbed her bare arms but it didn’t seem to do much.

Strutting past a darkened alleyway to her left, she caught sight of a figure half way down, standing in the gloom.

Missy’s breath caught in her throat. Her feet pounded hard against the pavement as she heard footsteps behind her, following her.

“Hey sweetheart,” came a low male drawl that caused Missy’s skin to crawl. “Want to have some fun?”

Missy glanced over her shoulder and saw a man in his forties with a scrubby red beard and a baseball hat shuffling along after her. His eyes looked red and bloodshot.

Missy tried to quicken her pace, but as she did so, her ankle twisted on an uneven paving stone causing her to stumble and yelp in pain.

The man was approaching fast. “That’s right, girl, you stay there…” he said in a scratchy voice.

Missy quickly tried to put weight on her foot but winced, as a sharp pain shot through her ankle. She anxiously stared up at the man who was just a couple of feet away now, grotesquely licking his lips as he approached.

Suddenly, the man was roughly grabbed from behind, by the throat, and shoved into the wall of the building beside them. He hit the red brick with a loud thump.

Missy breathed hard as she gazed up, only to see Wade, in full Deadpool suit, gripping the man by his neck.

“Hey baby,” he uttered cheerily, as if he had spotted her on a warm sunny day at the grocery store, not in the middle of a dark street at 2am whilst holding a potential rapist by the throat.

Wade violently bashed the man’s skull against the bricks once again. He relinquished his grip and the bearded man slipped down the wall, landing on the floor in a heap.

Wade stepped over him with a flourish and approached Missy.

He instantly rubbed at her cold arms. “You look suuuuuper hot in that dress. Fuck me…but you are fucking freezing,” he said shaking his head.

Missy, whose heart was still slowly returning to its normal pace within her rib-cage, gave a quick nod. “I am,” she said as her teeth chattered- probably due to a mixture of fear and the cold.

Without another word Wade pulled her into his strong arms.

He smelled like leather and musk and ….cotton candy.

Missy’s heart instantly warmed. It felt so good to be close to him, safe in his tight embrace. Her stomach lurched as he pulled away and she slowly gazed up into his masked face.

“Let me just do one thing,” he said in a serious voice, turning back to the guy still slumped on the ground behind them.

Wade pulled out a small knife from his pocket.

“Don’t kill him,” said Missy, gazing up at Wade with sad eyes. As much as she wanted this guy dead, she didn’t want Wade to be the one who did it. Not right in front of her at least.

Wade turned back towards her, looping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.

“As if I’d do that…” he said in a reprimanding tone.

But before Missy could utter another word, Wade had tossed the knife behind him.

A sudden loud yell was heard. Missy peered over her shoulder as Wade dragged her away, to see that the knife had landed right through the man’s testicles.

His cries became fainter and fainter as they turned the corner.

Missy winced suddenly as she put weight down onto her painful ankle.

“Fuck…” she murmured, bringing Wade to a halt. “These fucking shoes…”

“Well I would offer to swap,” he said grinning. “But I don’t think gold is really my color. Stark would bite your hand off for them though…”

Missy ignored him, bending down and rubbing her bruised ankle.

“Want me to carry you?” he offered, his gloved fingers tracing circles on her cold arm. Missy had to stop herself from letting out a pleasurable shudder at his touch.

“I think my dress is a bit short for a piggyback..” she said rolling her eyes and glancing down at herself.

Wade’s white eyes travelled down her slim figure.

“So fucking hot…” he uttered under his breath, taking every inch of her in.

Missy bit her lip, her breathing becoming shallow.

“I was thinking bridal style…” he said after a long moment, in a more audible tone.

Right then, Missy could think of nothing she wanted more than to be in his strong arms again…

She stopped and internally shook herself.

What the hell was wrong with her tonight? This was Wade she was thinking about. Maybe she had had too much to drink…

“I’ll be fine to walk, I’ll just have to take it slow,” she said, turning back to the sidewalk and limping along.

Wade let out a snort before jogging and catching up to her, holding out and arm for her to take.

“Well if you’re not going to let me carry you over the threshold, at least let me be a gentlemen,” he said with a sigh.

Missy grinned. “You? A gentleman?” she said nudging him with her hip and pulling at her bottom lip with her teeth.

Wade glanced down at her as she grasped his arm in hers, happily.

“So what happened? You just fancy the fresh air? Decided you wanted to take a night time walk dressed like a hooker?”

“HEY!” cried Missy, bashing his in the stomach with her handbag. “If you must know I was out at a club with a friend and had my purse and cell phone stolen.”

Wade narrowed his eyes. “Who were you out with?” he asked in a slow voice. “The guy from your date next weekend? The asshole?”

Missy rolled her eyes, not wanting to start up another argument with the masked merc.

“No, it was just my friend Karen, if you must know,” she uttered, as they crossed the street arm in arm.

The pair were silent for a long moment. A rarity for Wade which didn’t last very long.

“So did you have a good night before you got fucking pick-pocketed? Or was it all just terrible music and fifteen dollar cocktails?” he said, glancing down at her.

Missy gave a sigh. “Pretty much the latter. I hate going to clubs like that. Why do guys think it’s OK to grope you then call you a bitch when you turn them down?”

Wade’s brows knitted together. “Well next time, text me before you lose your phone,” he said in an angry voice. “…and I will come and disembowel any motherfucker that does that to you.”

Missy let out a long breath. “Wade, I’d never be off my phone if that was the case…” she said shaking her head. “I don’t think any woman in the city would be.”

Wade stopped in his tracks pulling Missy to a sudden halt and turning her to him.

Missy breathed hard as she gazed up into his masked eyes, butterflies swarming about in her stomach.

He looked like he was about to say something but for some reason the words never came…

She reached up and placed a hand to his broad chest. The chest she had fallen asleep on just one week ago.

She couldn’t describe it…

…this feeling…

With him she felt safe…..

….. happy…..

Like she didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world….

“Wade, I-” she said in a whisper, as she gazed up at him.

Suddenly, before she could say anther word, she was cut off by a loud song streaming out from Wade’s pocket.

‘….Cause I aint no hollaback girl.. I aint no hollaback giiiiirl…’

“Sorry that’s my… cell…” he said, fumbling at his belt as Missy stepped back, staring down at the ground, a pink tinge appearing at her cheeks.

“Dopinder my good friend, how are we on this fine evening?” he said in a loud voice, before turning to Missy. “It’s Dopinder.” He said in a loud whisper, merely causing Missy to look up at him in confusion.

“I did what?” said Wade, before suddenly spinning around on the spot, attempting to look at something behind his shoulder, much like a dog chasing its own tail.

He held his hand over the mouthpiece of his cell and turned to Missy once more. “I forgot my swords in Dopinder’s cab on my way over here,” he said in a hushed tone. “Stupid Deadpool.”

“Hey where are you?” he said over the phone as Missy shivered beside him.

Wade glanced down at her.

“Oh you are?” he said before suddenly placing a hand to her back and pulling her close to him. He ran his hand over her shoulders, trying to warm her. “Were on Park Drive…. Ok, great, see you in two, amigo…. yeah…. yeah…. Dopinder, I know your Indian and not Mexican, aright…”

With that Wade dropped the call, tutting and shaking his head.

“Well, I have a carriage arriving for us any minute now, Princess,” he said stuffing his cell back in his pocket.

His gloved fingers traced along her bare shoulder blades.

“Good,” she murmured, reaching her hand up and placing his to his hard chest, pushing herself further into his arms.

Leaning forwards he gently rested his masked head on top of hers.

This was the closest Missy had ever been to Wade. Normally she tried to distance herself, both physically and mentally, from him as much as she possibly could, but right now all she wanted to do was stay here, locked inside his strong embrace.

She felt one of his hands slip slowly down her spine, coming to rest on the small of her back. She half expected him to try moving it lower, but on this occasion he didn’t.

Her heart thudded inside her chest. Both of them were quiet, all Missy could hear was the sound of her own cold breath.

“Wade-"she began, after what felt like an eternity. But she was suddenly cut off by the bright beam from two headlamps hitting them squarely in the face.

Shielding her eyes, she turned to see a yellow taxi cab, just a few feet away.

Wade pulled away from her, instead reaching down and grasping her hand in his, leading her over to the car.

They entwined their fingers together.

"Good evening Mr Pool,” came the voice of the driver as he poked his out of the window and flashing them a wide smile. “Where are you going so late at night?”

Wade opened the rear door and ushered Missy inside.

“Take us to Elm Avenue, Dopinder my good man,” said Wade, sliding into the back seat beside Missy, as she scooted across.

“No problem, DP,” said Dopinder putting his foot on the gas.

Missy turned her body towards Wade. She was still freezing cold and her teeth would not stop chattering. She cursed herself for not bring a jacket tonight, she really did.

Automatically Wade threw his arm around her cold shoulders and tugged her to him.

Missy saw the driver flash her a quick glance in his rear-view mirror.

“If you’re wondering why I’m not joining you up front tonight Dopinder, as you can see I have company,” uttered Wade in a chatty voice.

“Ahhhh a lady of the night is it Mr Pool?” said Dopinder taking in Missy’s tight dress and enormously high heels.

Missy gaped, looking affronted. “A lady of the- Wait! You think I look like a- Oh my god!” she said loudly, attempting to tug down her short LBD over her slender legs.

Wade let out a chuckle.

“My beautiful friend Missy here, does not turn tricks for cash, Dopinder. Though I am sure many a man wished she would,” he said in a goading voice, as Missy dug him hard in the ribs.

She glanced up at him and shot him a look, a small, irritated smirk passing over her features.

Her heart fluttered. His masked face was just an inch from her own.

She subconsciously tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth.

It was a short journey back to her apartment, Wade giving Dopinder a crisp high-five through the window as they hopped out, him remembering to take his swords this time.

The cold air hit Missy hard once again and she gave a shiver. “Let’s get inside, I am so cold,” she uttered.

And this time it was Missy’s turn to grab Wade’s hand. She pulled him up the steps towards her apartment. A few minutes later she had unlocked the door and they had bustled inside.

The warmth of her apartment hit her as she walked in.

Wade headed straight for the kitchen. “Do we have any food?” he called back to her.

Missy who had strutted into her bedroom, tossed her almost empty handbag down onto the bed and flipped on her bedside light. She would deal with reporting her missing phone and purse in the morning. Right now, all she wanted to do was go to sleep, the cold air had exhausted her.

“Sorry, I was supposed to go to the grocery store earlier when Karen called,” she yelled back to him, sinking down onto the bed and reaching down to remove her shoes.

He appeared in the doorway a second later, utility belt and swords now missing, brandishing a pop tart. He lifted his mask a little, revealing his mouth, and took a bite.

Missy cocked an eye at him. “Did you even heat that?” she said with a sigh, slipping off both shoes and rubbing at her sore ankle.

Wade didn’t reply, mouth full of food.

She glanced up at him with heavy eyes. “Can you… err….turn around?” she asked, gesturing to him with her finger. “I want to get out of this dress.

Wade, polishing off the pop tart, pulled the mask back over his face. "As if I am passing up this opportunity…” he said with a growl.

Missy rolled her eyes. “Wade-” she said warningly. But the masked merc merely folded his arms across himself and widened his white eyes, teasing her.

Missy frowned before she suddenly stood and turned around. Her face breaking into a smirk.

“Fine,” she uttered biting her lip.

Wade would never in a million years expect her to undress in front of him. And just this once she wanted to catch him off guard…

With that, Missy slowly unzipped her dress at the side before letting it fall to the floor, pooling at her feet.

She turned to see Wade starring at her, unmoving. She could see that, beneath his mask his mouth was agape and his breathing shallow in his chest.

Missy let out a grin.

That wasn’t flirting right? Just friends fooling around…

All she had on right now was a matching set of black lacy underwear. She strolled casually over to her bureau, fishing out an old oversized band shirt and throwing it over her head. Her heart pounding in her chest. This felt all so exhilarating for her.

“Cat got your tongue?” she asked him teasingly, before letting out a laugh and jumping onto her bed. She wriggled down under the covers.

Wade let out a breathy sigh. “Oh baby, my tongue belongs to you…” he said pacing over to her. He shook his head. “Fuck me, you are so hot,” he uttered longingly, falling to his knees onto the bed.

Missy laughed again. “This is probably not the most healthy of best friend relationships,” she said, running a hand through her slightly tonged hair.

“If I’m managing to get you to flirt back I really couldn’t give a fuck,” he said, flipping over onto his back and moving around on the mattress, getting comfy.

Missy laughed again and shifted further down under the covers before switching off the lamp at her side.

She could feel Wade near her legs. Part of her dreaming of what it would be like if he was under the covers beside her. She breathed hard, thinking of the feel of his warm hands on her skin…

But her dreams were broken as Wade spoke.

“We still on for taco Tuesday this week?” he asked in a playful tone. “Ooh, ooh and fajita Friday?”

Missy stared up into the darkness.

“I can do Tuesday but, I…err…. I have my date on Friday,” she uttered quietly, bringing a hand to her mouth.

Wade was silent.

Missy glanced around waiting for a response but one never came.

“I can do scary-movie Saturday though,” she offered, biting her lip.

There was a long pause. “Deal. As long as I can pick the food….oh, and the movie,” he said quickly. “Were counting that awful Green Lantern movie as horror right?”

Missy smiled to herself, flipping over onto her side.

“Goodnight, Wade,” she murmured for the second time in a week, as she drifted off into a warm and comfortable sleep, secretly still wishing she was locked within his tight embrace.

Perhaps the evening hadn’t gone so badly after all…

signs as types of people in high school

aries: 

  • never in school
  • fucked all the jocks
  • will beat anyones ass
  • never gives a fuck

taurus:

  •  unbothered
  • acts clueless when confronted
  • crazy, but hilarious

gemini:

  • loud
  •  talks shit about everyone
  • low-key smart
  • very judgmental and opinionated 

cancer:

  • 4.0 GPA
  • everyone loves them
  • cried at graduation
  • been dating the same person forever

leo:

  • conceited 
  • captain of the cheerleading team
  • looks everyone up and down
  • will fight over her boyfriend

virgo:

  • 4.0 GPA
  • turns every guy down
  • virgin
  • everyone wants her

libra:

  • 4.0 GPA
  • acts innocent
  • always on her phone
  • has a new boyfriend every week

scorpio:

  • rebellious
  • class clown
  • fucks everyone’s girlfriend
  • outspoken

sagittarius:

  • everyone likes them
  • captain of the football team
  • always dancing 
  • goofy

capricorn:

  • hates drama
  • low-key
  • all-american kid
  • smokes pot on the low

aquarius:

  • queen of the drama club
  • crazy, weird and nice
  • got caught fucking a teacher
  • unique

pisces: 

  • queen thot
  • got caught sucking dick
  • low-key smart
  • quiet but conniving

BOOK OF THE DAY:

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Here’s a charming story about a little prince who falls to earth from Asteroid B-612. What kind of little prince is he? He’s a lonely little prince. He’s in need of a friend, and so he sets off on a journey across the planets to see who he can find.

It’s a trail of disappointment really. There’s the absolute monarch, the conceited individual, the drunkard, and the businessman. They are all too wrapped up in their own affairs to consider to be the little prince’s friend:

‘What are you doing here?’ he said to the drunkard whom he found sitting silently in front of a collection of bottles, some empty and some full.
'I am drinking,’ answered the drunkard lugubriously.
'Why are you drinking?’ the little prince asked.
'In order to forget,’ replied the drunkard.
'To forget what?’ enquired the little prince, who was already feeling sorry for him.
'To forget that I am ashamed,’ the drunkard confessed, hanging his head.
'Ashamed of what?’ asked the little prince who wanted to help him.
'Ashamed of drinking!’ concluded the drunkard, withdrawing into total silence.
And the little prince went away, puzzled.
'Grown-ups really are very, very odd,’ he said to himself as he continued his journey.

But he meets a very special kind of grown-up when he finally lands on planet earth. Right in the middle of the desert is Antoine de Saint-Exupery who has crash-landed in his aeroplane. They seem to understand each other right away, as much from what isn’t said as from what is said. They don’t have very long together, for each of them must go back home in his own way. Antoine de Saint-Exupery can mend his aeroplane, but the little prince’s home is much further away. He cannot take his body back with him. It is much too heavy. He finds his own way to travel back home with the help of the snake:

“Whomever I touch I send back to the earth from which they came …”

But before the prince and the airman part they learn to share a lot of simple joy together, like the pleasure of looking at a single flower, or taking a drink of water when you are really thirsty:

'The men where you live,’ said the little prince, 'grow five thousand roses in the same garden … and they do not find what they are looking for …’
'They do not find it,’ I replied.
'And yet, what they are looking for could be found in a single rose or in a little water.’
'Yes, indeed,’ I replied.

And the little prince added: 

'But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart.’

There are many ways to read this book. You can take it as a straight-forward story about a charming little prince who wants a friend, or you can think more deeply about the way the little prince chooses to live his life. It’s a very sad story, too.

[Guest Reviewer: Jill Marshall]

Get the book here!

Read excerpts from the book here!

Get the FREE Amazon Kindle app to read on most devices.

FREE BOOKS: 100 LEGAL SITES TO DOWNLOAD LITERATURE!

You need to save yourself before you can try to save anyone else. You can’t keep putting yourself in front of bullets that were meant for someone else. I know you love him and I know you care, but if you just took a moment you’d realize he doesn’t care what you’re doing for him, he doesn’t even notice. It’s not conceited to put yourself in front of others in your life. It’s necessary.
—  A.B // Writtenfeelingss on Instagram
Conceited!Calum

This is a mini series. Kinda short since this is only the start. Now let’s all fucking cross our fingers and hope that I don’t delete this. If you read an imagine or series like this, let me know. Part 2 is up! Just click my blog to see it.

Summary: a conceited and self-abdorbed calum and an insecure y/n fall in love.

——————————————————————

Calum’s POV

I walked down the hallway. Feeling everyone staring at me.

I mean who wouldn’t?

I’m pretty sure I’m the school’s hottest dude. Not to brag but all the girls swoon over me. Senior to goths, you name it. A simple wink could make them wet,

I continued my thoughts before someone caught my attention. It was a girl.

Well this is a first.

Never seen her around here though. “Hey.” I said.

She was surprised when he saw me.

I mean who doesn’t?

Honestly speaking, she was gorgeous. Dirty blonde hair. Fair skin. Eyes that resembled oceans beneath her cute glasses. Red lips that I thinked were natural. And probably 5'8-ish or something.

“Oh. H-hi.” She said nervously before pushing up her glasses further on her nose bridge.

I chuckled lowly before saying, “Haven’t seen you around here before. I’m Calum by the way. Calum Hood.” I offered my hand for a handshake which she returned lightly.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. I’m an e-exchange student from England.”

So that’s why her accent was thick.

Well her accent is not the only one that’s thick.

“I’m s-sorry.”

“Don’t worry babe, I get that a lot.”

Once I said that her face completely fell.

To try and relieve the awkwardness, I said, “Oh right! Classes start in like a minute or two. Let me see your schedule!”

She facepalmed and said, “Right!” Before handing me her schedule.

I checked it and sure enough, we had most of our classes together.

“Cool. We only have two classes that we’re not together in. We’ll see each other more often. Let me walk you to class.”

I didn’t wait for her response and practicallt dragged her to walking in the hallway, leaning my arm in her shoulder.

She received some scowls from girls which she noticed that made her look down and re-arrange her glasses again.

It seemed like fixing her glasses up her nose bridge was her mannerism.

There’s something about her. She didn’t throw herself at me who has unfathomable hotness like others did. But the only problem is she is a bit shy.

I think that the moment my eyes landed on her, I probably fell in love already.

Bur I couldn’t give up my entire image for her. Or could I?

———————————————————–——–

I sat up with my close friends for lunch. We’re basically brothers but we’re really not. But even if we were, they won’t share the same hotness I have. They’re cool. But not as cool as me.

I already told them what happened earlier. They were basically a lot more shocked than me.

“I hate to break it to you Cal, but you can’t really resist love.” Ashton said.

“True. If you love her, then so be it. Can’t really prevent it from happening.” Michael added.

“This is a first. First, this girl didn’t swoon over you. Second, this is the first girl that you didn’t want to go out with only you craving for sex. You felt something. Something new.” Luke summarized.

“Oh my fuck you love her!” Ashton laughed.

“Do you love her?” Michael asked.

“This is literally love at first sight.” I trailed off while the boys looked at me expectantly for another answer.

“I do love her. But dating her would cost me my image. It’s probably fucking social suicide.”

How to have lots of energy and not be tired all the time (revised)

Everyday when I go to work or go out in public, friends, family, and co-workers, everyone complains that they are tired, they never have enough energy.  I see it all the time, people walking around looking like zombies, yawning all the time, nodding off, always looking very sleepy.  It was only recently that I really started noticing this and I came to a realization that this frighteningly common with people of all ages. There are millions and millions of people who “live” like this. This may seem conceited of me, but for a while I didn't understand why.  I work 12 hour days, now night shift, often doing very hard work.  I wore a pedometer one day, and I discovered that I walk around 4-5 miles just going from place to place in the hospital.  For the most part, I have lots of energy, and I am rarely tired or worn out.  When I wake up I feel like I could wrestle a damn grizzly bear. Throughout the day I feel like a beast, and when I go to bed I am still energized. Regardless, I have no problems sleeping. No matter when I sleep I feel energized, when I swing from being awake during the day to working night shift, I still feel energized. If ever I am short of sleep for any reason, it usually doesn’t affect my energy a lot. When I do feel exhausted, it’s usually justified, like one of those days where we have multiples traumas in the ER all day long and I really bust my ass.  But a lot people seem like they are worn out and tired just from the mere act of existing.

As a nation we are energy deprived, its a proven fact that most American’s (and most people living in modern wealthy nations) are experiencing a shortage of energy.  I am convinced that it all stems from poor diet, no exercise, and people not taking care of themselves. We are not tired or energy deprived, we are sick. How do I come to this conclusion? Because I used to be one of you, one of the living dead that are more numerous than the zombies on any TV show.  So here’s what I want everyone reading this who fits my descriptions of a real life zombie to do for at least a month.  Try it for a month and see what happens.  If it works, by all means keep on doing it.  If after a month you think I’m full of humbuggery, or as modern day people call it, “bullshit”, then by all means stop. Just try these 8 things,

1. Abstain from sugar. Something I call the “Jack Lalanne Challenge” because he came up with it almost 70 years ago.  Abstain from white sugar, high fructose corn syrup, ice cream, soft drinks, candy, cookies, cakes, pies, jams, jellies, yoghurt, granola, honey, juices, canned fruit, sports drinks, energy drinks, anything with sugar.  Look on the nutrition labels of everything you consume, many things that are thought of as healthy have a lot of sugar. Also look at portion sizes, many companies make portion sizes unreasonably small to make it seem like there isn’t much stuff in it, like a candy bar divided into 4 portions, very deceitful. Remember this rule of thumb. The World Health Organization recommends only consuming 6 teaspoons of refined sugar or less a day. 4 grams of sugar equals 1 teaspoon. A can of soda or 12 oz’s of fruit juice maxes out the WHO recommendation in one sitting.  My recommendation is to get as close to 0 teaspoon per day as you can. If you feel a need for sugar between meals, eat fresh fruit instead. Fruit is the perfect way to consume sugar. When you eat refined sugar it rushes all at once into your blood stream in the form of glucose. Your body burns it up fast, so you get a sugar rush, but in short time you are smacked right back down when that glucose is burned up.  This also evokes a massive insulin response, which can mess with energy levels, and raise the risk of Type II diabetes.  Fruit is the perfect form of sugar because its is packed in a dense fibrous matrix, and most people do not get even close to enough fiber in their diets.  Because of the fiber, the body digests it more slowly, thus the glucose enters your blood stream at a steady rate, giving you even and consistent energy.

2. Abstain from processed  and simple carbohydrates. This includes foods like white bread, white pasta, white potatoes, most cereals, and pastries. Most of the things I listed also tend to have added sugar.  Carbs are really just another form of sugar, and are metabolized the same way. Thus eat complex carbs that have lots of fiber for the same reason as eating sugar in the form of fruit. This includes foods like whole grain bread and pasta, oats, quinoa, yams, sweet potatoes, beans, lentils, brown rice, and wild rice. Educated yourself on the glycemic index, eat foods that are rated below 50. 

3. Abstain from drugs that mess with your energy. Caffeine, tobacco, stimulants, depressants, narcotics, alcohol, and others. Caffeine and energy drinks are the worst, because you have been tricked into thinking you need them for energy. If you follow the other steps, you don’t.  They are problematic because they give a burst of energy, but then quickly kick you back down and you end up worse off than before. Plus, many people put sugar in coffee, or they drink energy drinks or caffeinated sodas which have tons of sugar. Energy drinks are the worst, the will totally fuck you up. 5 hour energy is the worst of the worst, they advertise that it gives you five hours of extra energy to power your day.  Yeah, it’s not like the day is only 5 hours long.

Note: If you are a smoker, I suggest you quit first and foremost. If you are addicted to alcohol, hard drugs, or prescription narcotics, I suggest you get help, go to rehab, and get that monkey off your back.

4. Eat more good fats. Not bad fats like fried foods, greasy burgers, cheese and fatty foods with LDL cholesterol that will clog your arteries.  Good poly and monounsaturated fats with HDL cholesterol found in things like nuts, avocado, seeds, beans, and olives.  In between meals, instead of reaching for that coffee, soda, or energy drink, cake, candy, or bag of junk food, snack on a half a coffee cup of nuts (preferably lightly salted,don’t eat a lot of salt!) or cut up an avocado.  Have some hummus. Fats have more energy than both sugar and carbs, plus they are metabolized evenly, giving you more consistent energy. They will also fill you up, so you won’t be hungry all the time.

5. Eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Your body needs the vitamins and minerals to regulate your energy levels. They are good for you. Nuff said.

6. Drink Water. You are 75% water.  Don’t you think you should be drinking more?

7. Walk. Exercise regularly.  If you have never exercised regularly, or haven’t in a long time, don’t start out all Rambo with an exercise regimen. It all starts with walking.  30-40 minutes, maybe a mile a day.  Then push yourself a bit more everyday, walking faster and farther. If it seems boring, walk different places everyday, listen to music or podcasts, make it a half hour of “me time”. Walking is excellent medicine, probably more effective than 90% of the meds prescribed by physicians, I am saying this as someone in the medical field.  Plus, light, regular exercise will help regulate your energy levels, and you will sleep better.Only after you have improved your cardiopulmonary system sufficiently and have begun to learn how to cultivate discipline through regular walking should you move on to more challenging forms of exercise.  Like the strength trainer Elliot Hulse says, “just fucking walk!”

8. Sleep. At least 7-8 hours.  If you need more sleep, then sleep more.  This may seem tough in this fast paced, busy world, but you really need this. Find the time, do it!

Note: If you have sleep apnea, see a doctor and get it fixed, you will sleep much better.

I will be honest, you will not feel awesome right away. In fact, for the first few days to a week you may feel like shit. You may feel sick, get headaches, feel moody, or tired. You may have strong cravings. This is because you are going through withdrawal from all that sugar, processed carbs, caffeine, and other things. You might have digestive issues (gas, diarrhea) because you are eating a lot of fiber whereas before you had little or none. You might have to pee all the time because your urinary system is getting used to processing more fluids, where before you were chronically dehydrated. Don’t worry, all of this will pass, ride out the storm and stick to it. Do these things for a month, and I promise you will feel better, you will have the energy you need, you will have vitality, robustness, and moxie. If you are satisfied with the results after a month, keep doing it, do it until the day you die. Not only will you have more energy, if you are overweight or obese, you probably will lose weight.  If you have high blood pressure or high cholesterol you will lower it, if you have Type II diabetes you will improve it or even reverse it.  If you have any chronic illness, most likely these 8 things will make it a helluva lot better. You will protect your teeth from cavities and decay. You will look better, your skin will be softer, your hair will become silkier, you may even enhance your attractiveness. Your concentration, focus, and memory will improve. I would even go as far as to say that if everyone did these things, hospitals and nursing homes would be 90% empty, most of us would live to 100, and I would be unemployed.  Trust me, you don’t want to become one of my regular clients.

It’s important to note that you shouldn’t become a zealot about this. Don’t starve yourself, eat three good wholesome well balanced meals a day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with snacks in between. Feed your body’s need for calories and nutrients.  Don’t completely abstain from bad foods.  Every once and a while treat yourself to that double bacon cheeseburger, visit the all you can eat buffet, have some donuts, or a beer, or an ice cream, or candy bar.  But don’t lose control and fall back into old habits.  Like Oscar Wilde said, “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”  If you do fail or fall of the wagon, don’t give up. Pick yourself up, learn from you mistakes, and move forward.

Part II, Bonus Points —Transforming yourself from an energetic and healthy person into a human Beast or Beastess.

1. More Exercise! So, have you been doing your walking? Good! After a while it may not seem like walking is enough, or you want to do other things. So consider kicking it up a notch.  Find things that you can enjoy and develop a passion for it, no matter what it is; Yoga, jogging, hiking, biking, hunting, fishing, archery, sports, lifting, swimming, kettlebells, martial arts, dancing, crossfit, pilates, P90X, Richard Simmons, whatever.  Just find something, do it, and do it with a passion! Stay active! But don’t overdo it, wear down your body, or hurt yourself! Get lots of rest to let your muscles recover. Try to include both cardio and strength training in your routine as well. Our ancestors did not sit in offices all day, watch TV, and spend time on computers. They were farmers, nomads, and hunter-gatherers.   Our bodies were made by God, the gods, or the flying spaghetti monster to be in motion.  Bodies in motion stay in motion, that’s a  scientific fact, just look up Isaac Newton.

2. Take Cold Showers Take ice cold showers twice a day.  If you can, do ice baths or cryotherapy.  Cold stress is good for you. Not only will it toughen you up, but your body will release epinephrine and norepinephrine, which reduces inflammation, regulates energy, and suppresses pain. At night you will produce more melatonin which will help you sleep.  Cold stress is good for you, ditto heat stress as well. As Wim Hof says, “The cold is my only master, and my only teacher.”

3. Do the Wim Hof method of breathing regularly. Speaking of Wim Hof, learn who he is, learn about his breathing exercises, and start doing it.  You will be blown away with the results.

4. Have sex regularly. Sex is good medicine. Not only is it good exercise, it releases a lot of hormones that improve almost every aspect of health.  It is damn good medicine, more potent than most of the medications prescribed by doctors. People of all adult ages should do it. Practice all the positions of the Kama Sutra. If you don’t have a partner, do it with yourself. 

Note: Have safe sex.  You won’t become a human beast or beastess by contracting syphilis and sprouting unwanted children.

5. Challenge your mind. Keep your mind working. Read, write, do crossword puzzles or Sudoku, learn to play an instrument, learn a foreign language, learn new things. Learn about math, science, history, philosophy, economics, politics, etc.  To have a strong body, you need a strong mind.  To have a strong mind, you need a strong body. You cannot separate the two, it is impossible.

6. Challenge your spirit. Learn to love yourself, learn to love others, Learn to love and respect yourself.  Never define yourself by past failures, never dwell in the past, always have hope for the future. Do not define yourself from current mistakes either. Learn from your mistakes and move forward. Encourage people to better themselves as you better yourself. Become someone who is inspirational, who can encourage and inspire people to better themselves as you better yourself.  Learn to handle adversity. Challenge your boundaries. Think positively and surround yourself with positive thinkers.  Cultivate positive energy. Help people who are less fortunate than you. Be compassionate. Don’t listen to jackasses, fuckfaces, cynics, bitter and hateful people. They are the most dangerous toxins you will encounter in life, more dangerous than sugar!. A strong spirit is needed for a strong mind and a strong body.  You cannot separate the three, it is impossible.

Do these things, and you will be happy, healthy, and strong. You will be thanking me for the rest of your life.

Never Again 360

The Signs as Assholes
  • Aries:Angry Drunk Asshole
  • Taurus:Stubborn Suburban Mom Asshole
  • Gemini:High Maintenance Girlfriend Asshole
  • Cancer:Crybaby Asshole
  • Leo:Conceited Asshole
  • Virgo:"Everything Has to Be Perfect" Asshole
  • Libra:Know-It-All Asshole
  • Scorpio:Psychotic Asshole
  • Sagittarius:"I'm Too Cool For Your Shit" Asshole
  • Capricorn:Condescending Asshole
  • Aquarius:Asshole Asshole
  • Pisces:Confused Asshole

The Machine, an ASI of unfathomable power and intelligence, went up against Samaritan in a simulation and lost every single time. 

Shaw went up against Samaritan in a simulation and won every single time. 

Shaw is a badass. And I think this also points to one of the core conceits of Person of Interest, that it is ultimately human connection that is integral to both people and technology and what ultimately makes them “good.” And that even though some might view this as a weakness – Samaritan certainly would – it’s actually a source of strength. It was Shaw’s connection to Root that helped her defeat Samaritan. And perhaps this is how The Machine will find a way to beat Samaritan. 

Have s’more College AU.  <3  Just texts!


Part 1    Part 2     Part 3    Part 4     Part 5     Part 6   Part 7   Part 8 Part 9

Part 10  Part 10.5    Part 11




09:02    Very mature, Ellana.  I am glad I noticed before I left the house.

09:34    Good morning to you too lol >D  just be glad I used highlighter and not permanent marker

09:35    You watch too many idiotic movies.  Drawing on people’s faces is not funny.

09:35    It was a public service   I was warning people ur a dickhead  :D

09:35    I am sorry for falling asleep.

09:36    Is ok :)  Not mad   got work tho

09:38    I don’t understand that. Don’t you have scholarships?  Why are you working all the time?

09:39    Spending money   Classes are easy + boring nothing else to do

09:39    Have you tried taking more challenging things?

09:42    No point when I don’t know what I want to do

09:44    Last night was…I don’t regret it.  I hope you don’t either.

09:44    This is weird kinda but no I don’t    prob won’t regret next time it happens either >D

09:49    Well, that answers my next question.

09:50    ;)

Keep reading

part of the reason why i think people assume millenials are entitled and conceited is because third wave feminism has been really successful in exposing the struggles of women and giving it intense visibility in media consumed by all genders. so, like, now you have a generation of educated women who are comfortable having real conversations about things like periods, the pink tax, transmisogyny, misogynoir, childbirth, birth control, and equal pay in both academic and social settings because women in tv, films, and music are talking about it + not only are men allowed to listen to and be a part of these conversations but they can comprehend them so much better thanks to their previous exposure to it whereas that didn’t happen so much during 1st and 2nd wave. conversations about women’s liberation and feminism happened behind closed doors because they were heavily attacked and belittled by men. 

really, part of the reason why like 40 year old white dudes are so insistent on saying millenials (especially young girls) are self-centered is just because they can’t handle that most of the girls of this generation are actually willing to ask to be paid the same amount as the men doing the same job, openly talk about their struggles, ask for tampons in front of men, and ask for equality when they’re used to being able to surround themselves exclusively with women who think their periods are embarassing to talk about and wouldn’t dare ask a man for higher pay and that’s just not really possible anymore in 2016

Goodbye

Part 3 to conceited!calum. Click on my blog to see the other parts. Masterlist coming soon. Request for part 4 :) —————————————————————– 

 The day quickly passed and here I was, waiting for Calum to knock on the door. And sure enough, a few minutes later, a knock came on the door. 

 "Calum! Hi.“ I said while he scanned what I was wearing, his eyes in awe.

 "Y-you’re beautiful. Wow.” He breathed out before grinning.

 "You look good too.“ I said which made him blush.

 "M'lady, come on!” He said befofe grabbing my hand and leading me to his car. 


 —


 He took me for a picnic with takeouts from McDonald’s.

 It was out of the the ordinary but it sure as hell was awesome.

 We were just talking until his eyes widened and said, “Shit Y/N. Come on, let’s hide behind that tree. Come on, come on!” He urged as he dragged me to hide with him behind it. 

 "W-why?“

 "That’s a girl from school over there on the bench. She can’t know that I’m having abdate with you. She’s a tattletale!" 

 Oh. Was he ashamed of having a date with me?

 He probably read my thoughts and mumbled, "Sorry. Rep’s going to be dead. Which also brings me to another question!”

 "What is it?“ He coughed jokingly and brought out some Carnations from his pocket. 

 "Will you be my girlfriend?" 

 Everything seemed to be in slow motion. The park was silent. The birds stopped chirping. The cars stopped honking.

 "I would love to." 


 —

Two weeks passed and things were going well. Well atleast I thought so. 

Calum’s ego got bigger, every time a friend of his asked if we were dating, he would quickly deny and say, "Not in a million years.” Countless scenes of embarrassment. I tried my best to muster them all up, knowing that he was the closest I had. 

 He seemed ashamed of dating me. Oh who the fuck am I fooling, he is ashamed of me.

 We were on the way to his house to continue our project. None of us speaking. As he opened the door, I just sat on the floor, immediately doing my work

. A few moments passed and I remained silent, not wanting to talk unless if it was needed. 

 "What’s going on?“ Calum asked worriedly.

 "Nothing." 

 "Doesn’t seem nothing.” He huffed.

 "Are you ashamed of dating me?“ I whispered. 

 "No of course not!”

 "Well then why don’t you just tell you’re friends we’re dating. It’s not big of a deal.“

 "It’s not that easy.” He raised his voice. 

 "It’s funny to think that you care more about your reputation that your own girlfriend.“

 "Y/N I’ve spent years to gain my reputation! Can’t you understand?” He was now yelling. 

 "See? You do care more about your reputation at school. It will get you nowhere especially with your conceited attitude.“ 

 "I would rather be conceited than be an insecure bitch like you.” He spat out. 

He knew damn well that being called insecure was my biggest weakness. But being hurt was bigger than it. 

 "It’s great to think that you can destroy my self-esteem within a matter of minutes which I tried to built for years.“ 

 "Oh don’t give me that shit.”

 "You fucking knew all the things I encountered to just be here. You knew all the problems I had. You fucking knew all the things that I dreaded but you still fucking did them!“ I said with tears already flowing down my cheeks.

 "Y/N fuck please don’t cry.” He said nearing me but I just backed away.

 "You knew how much time I spent to build these walls around me. You fucking knew that I can’t trust people that easily! But no, no.“

 "Please Y/N, stop th-…" 

 "But then I made a mistake. I trusted you easily. I trusted you the moment I met you! I fell in love! I fucking fell in love! Tell me, do you love me? Do you really?” I sobbed. 

 "Of course! It’s not a fucking question!“ 

 "I m-made a mistake. I trusted you. I let y-you in! In hopes that you’ll help me. But goddamn it no!” He clutched my hands, holding them together so I can’t hit anything. But none of his efforts seemed to stop me.

 "You broke them down Calum. Y-you broke me. You made me feel more p-pathetic than I already was.“ 

 A few tears slipped down his cheeks, he wiped them down before saying, "You’re not pathetic." 

 "You b-broke down my walls. I tried ignoring your remarks because you’re one of t-the three people that we’re close to m-me. But I just c-can’t stand this. I can’t.” I said before going down the stairs, heading to the door before him stopping me. 

 "Thank you Calum. For making me like I was ordinary. For making me feel like I was a pincess for atleast a day or two.“ 

 He held my hands, kneeling and saying, "P-please don’t say i-it.” Over and over again. 

 "Goodbye Calum.“ I said before leaving. Leaving him and all the memories we had behind.

The signs as things people have said during play practice
  • <p><b>Aries:</b> "Sagittarius doesn't have nipples!!"<p/><b>Taurus:</b> "Want some Doritos?"<p/><b>Gemini:</b> *is talking backstage during a performance* "Will you guys shut the fuck up?!" *continues talking*<p/><b>Cancer:</b> "This costume makes me look like a stripper"<p/><b>Leo:</b> "I'm literally the most conceited person ever"<p/><b>Virgo:</b> *In response to Leo* "You're like the least conceited person I've ever met though"<p/><b>Libra:</b> *says to someone using face paint* "Um can you put that back when you're done? Thanks."<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> *has a resting bitch face* "Why does everyone think I'm pissed off at them?"<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> *in response to Aries* "I do too have nipples!!" *flashes everyone to prove it*<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> *in response to Cancer* "Hey, that's not a bad mental image" *gets slapped*<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> *in response to Libra* "Wow passive aggressive much?"<p/><b>Pisces:</b> *in an optimistic tone of voice* "Do you guys want to hear a depressing story????" *smiles widely*<p/><b></b> *Names have been changed for privacy reasons*<p/></p>

bpd-hawke asked:

Thank you for adding the tw. I know a lot of people were complaining about it, but it's really nice to know that you care about your audience's safety more than you care about shock value. A lot of people (including me) appreciate that.

In these awfuller subjects, I generally I try to avoid it being about the shock value as much as possible!  That’s why a lot of these awfuller things in my stories are not the final panel, allowing for some sort of quick oasis to rest on in the 24 hours between updates.  But this particular set-up just wouldn’t allow it.  

We can’t see through Becky’s eyes a moment afterwards where everything’s okay – the conceit of these strips are that she’s seeing things that happened in her own house, so jumping to a hospital where her mom might be awake again is impossible.  

And I had said over and over again that nobody is dying in this webcomic, so ending a strip on what appears – without any further context – to be a potentially dead body, especially of a character that we know to be dead as of the beginning of the comic… that seems a betrayal of the trusts I had put in place beforehand.  I had previously assured a certain level of safety, and that strip kinda super trespasses it.  

But mostly, yeah, I don’t want anyone unfortunate enough to have suffered something similar to do anything bad to themselves by being thrust back into that headspace without warning.  I wanted to tell Becky’s story without any real people being hurt.  I don’t WANT the shock value.  I want the information told in an interesting way.  I learned long ago that shock value is easily cheap.  

Thanks to everyone who sent me Tumblr Asks with thanks, I appreciate them.  I apologize for not answering all of them.  I am kind of beat this week.