Jared in Milan 21.02.2017 .
Credit to thesartorialist On IG
Thanks Jenny for the awkward moment! Today in Milan Jenny and I were taking it easy, shopping around and had just finished a snack when we see a guy walk by decked out in @gucci. Jenny says “you should go shoot him! He’s one of Alessandro’s @lallo25 best friends and he’s a famous actor!” I wasn’t really in the mood to shoot and I never really care about shooting “stars” but Jenny seemed so excited I said I would but she had to ask the guy. When we approached Jenny just said “ hi!” and “could we take a photo of you?” but didn’t really explain who we were so he said ok and put his arm around her but I had to say “but can the photo be you you by yourself ?” To which he very politely said “no, just with her!” Jenny was over the moon! As we walked away Jenny said “I can believe I just met Jared Leto @jaredleto !” I looked at her, very surprised and said “you didn’t tell me that was Jared Leto! Come on!” Until he spoke I thought he must have been a famous Italian actor! The whole thing was so awkward but he was very gracious and Jenny was so thrilled that it was all worth it.. .
Instead of answering his phone or going to the door, Jared continued to hold me. It seemed like we both needed each other’s reassurance that we were okay.
“I hate that we have to leave without talking about this.” He whispered in my ear.
“It’s okay.” I whispered back, “Can we please just let it go?”
I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful or not that we had to leave. The longer we stood there, the more I wanted to just forget the whole thing. Despite my feelings on this, I know Jared and he’s not going to let it go. As he’s always said, communication was key and without a doubt he’ll want to make sure there aren’t any hidden feelings before we move on.
Pulling back, he brought his eyes to mine, “Are we okay?”
“Yes.” I said, nodding my head. Pressing my lips to his in a quick kiss, I tighten my arms around him.
Jared doesn’t like to make mistakes, period. When he does, it seems it completely throws him off. As hard as he tries to be perfect, is as hard as he is on himself when he’s not. Despite still being a little upset with him for this mess, I felt like he’s mentally beaten himself up enough and now all I wanted was for him to be okay.
Talk about turning the tables…
When his phone started to ring again, I lifted my head off his chest, “We should go.
Everything is ready and by the door.”
With a knowing sigh, he brought his hands to cup my cheeks then laid his forehead against mine he closed his eyes. I knew he was sorry. I knew I was sorry too.
I was sorry this whole situation happened and I was sorry our only hour or so alone today was ruined.
Still, there were a few positives that came from all of this. One of them was that I knew I really meant something to him. Clearly, I was far more than important than his whoever’s available randoms. We were building something solid that he cared about.
The other positive was that we learned a little bit about how each of us deals with anger and frustration. Hopefully next time we disagree, things won’t blow up as they did today.
Softly kissing me, his thumbs caressed my skin. Parting my lips with his velvety tongue, he deepened our kiss seemingly hoping to express and receive feelings of reassurance that we didn’t have time to completely share.
When the knocking on the door became full blown pounding, Jared turned his face from mine to yell, “I’ll be right fucking there.”
Emma was going to be so pissed.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, still concerned.
“I am.” I said nodding, “I’m ready…”
Smiling, I kissed his lips then let my grip on his shirt go. We were falling further and further behind with each passing second. Each second of behind on our schedule makes things that much harder on everyone and I felt bad about that. I didn’t want anyone to think my presence had a negative effect on the tour.
Yes, in true Vivie fashion, I worried about EVERYTHING.
“Okay.” He finally nodded, letting his hands slip gently down my face.
There was still a sadness in his eyes, probably in mine too. We had just had out first full blown fight and now we were in that uncomfortable, uneasy time where you wished so desperately that things would just feel normal again.
We walked to the door and he pulled it open to see a very frazzled looking Emma on the other side.
“Jared, we’re going to miss our flight…”
She was clearly upset but her demeanor changed as soon as she stepped into the room. It must have been the negative energy floating around or the unease still there a bit between Jared and I. I just could see, she knew something was not quite right. After a very tight look from Jared, she dropped it and didn’t say another word. I’m quite sure this was the last situation she thought she’d be walking into.
As the bellman stepped inside to load our luggage onto his cart, we made our way to the elevator. Jared’s hand folded around mine as we walked, both of us wanting to stay connected even in such a small way.
Emma thankfully broke the uncomfortable silence once we stepped in the elevator as she started to go over the itinerary for the rest of the day. For my part, I somewhat zoned out. With all the emotions of the last few hours still on my mind, I was looking forward to the plane ride and the peace that would come along with it.
As we walked through the lobby, I reached in my purse grabbing my sunglasses, slipping them on once we stepped outside. The van was just to the right of the lobby doors and as Emma said, everyone else was waiting on us.
I let go of Jared’s hand so I could get in while he finished going over things with Emma and the last of the luggage was loaded in.
“Hey Vivie!” Shannon said waving as I walked past.
Shannon and Tomo were off to the side, having one last cigarette before we all piled in.
“Ya ready?” Tomo asked as he made his way towards me.
“I sure am!” I said, stepping up into the van, trying to sound as excited as I possibly could.
Tomo got in right after me while Shannon stayed outside to finish his cigarette. It looked like Emma and Jared had wrapped up their conversation as she tipped the bellhop then made her way to the front of the van. Instead of following her, Jared walked over to Shannon.
His back was to me but I could tell from the shocked expression on Shannon’s face that he was telling him what happened. Or at least he was giving him the highlights. Shaking his head, Shannon threw his cigarette on the ground, stomped it out then it kinda gave Jared an encouraging pat on his back.
“Jared, we gotta go.” Emma said out the window.
Jared ignored her but Shannon nodded then started to make his way to the van. Jared finally ended up following. He still looked a bit upset about everything but once he stepped in the van, his demeanor lightened.
I smiled as Jared slipped in our seat, happy to feel him next to me again. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder he pulled me into him, kissing my temple.
“Okay, come on, lets go.” He shouted to towards the front, suddenly anxious to get going.
The ride to the airport was rather short but we silently cuddled together in the back seat. Jared’s arm stayed around my shoulders the whole time and as the minutes ticked by, we both started to feel that familiar comfort we always had with each other.
“It shouldn’t be a long flight but once we land we’re going straight to the venue so we can do the Meet and Greet. After that we’ll have an hour or so before sound check. I’m sorry it’s going to be so hectic.” He said, weaving his fingers in my hair to caress them against the back of my head.
He was being so tender and loving with me.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m excited to see what tour life is all about.” I said smiling.
As our eyes connected for a moment, it was the first time I could really see beyond his wall and into his true feelings. Sorrow over what happened was still there but so was gratitude and maybe even love if I dare say it.
“Thank you for coming with me, Vivie…” He whispered, sincerity echoing through each word as he pulled me in tighter.
“There’s no place else I’d rather be.” I whispered back, cupping his softly bearded cheek in my hand to pull his lips to mine for a quick kiss.
Pressing his forehead to mine, “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, baby girl…”
Snuggling into him, I knew things still weren’t quite right but they would be…