You’re at one of Jared’s concerts, and you lose your backstage pass. When you try to enter, the security guard refuses and physically shoves you. Jared witnesses it and curses the guy out, and Shannon has to hold him back.
Two months after breaking up with The
Joker, you found out the bad news. You didn’t have a choice but to ask for his
help and J didn’t even show up for the meeting. Of course he didn’t care, but
now that he found out why you wanted to see him so badly, it might be too late
for any amendments.
“I’m out of here…” you announce,
lifting your bag and taking a few steps towards the door. The Joker doesn’t
reply, he just watches you in silence, leaning on the back wall of the master
“That’s all you want?” he speaks up
in a bitter tone when you are almost out of the quarters.
“Yes, that’s all…” you whisper and
don’t turn around, continuing your walk. After a few moments, J wants to add
something but gives up when he hears the elevator. He knows you’re already
Things went from worse to worst until
both couldn’t take it anymore. You were aware he’d never leave the penthouse so
you decided to break it off sooner rather than later. You were actually
surprised he didn’t try to stop you when you told him about your decision:
after all, he doesn’t like people to leave until he says so. You were
determined to continue with the plan even he would have attempt to disagree.
But he didn’t. Probably happy to get rid of you in such a timely manner. The
Joker must have really hated you if he didn’t bother with any kind of reaction.
Oh, well, serves you right for
thinking you meant something to him. Lesson learned.
The first time he got a sign from you
was after about 2 months. You called and he didn’t answer. It came through as
“unknown number” because you weren’t in his contacts anymore, but he had
the digits memorized. After about one hour, he received a text message: “Could
you please meet me tonight around 10pm at the corner of Spencer’s and North
Avenue? It’s really important. Please…I really need to talk to you.”
J deleted the message, upset you
bothered him. For some reason though, he decided to go and see what the hell
you wanted. He waited in the shadows behind the apartment building, watching
you nervously pacing around under the street light. You held a few papers in
your hand and seemed distressed.
The Joker regretted coming so he
stayed hidden, but didn’t leave. You waited for an hour and it began to rain.
He could see you were soaked to the bone, still waiting on the almost deserted
sidewalk. He was drenched also and didn’t move. You started to cry when you
realized he won’t show up, holding up those papers to your chest. After another
half an hour passed, you signaled a cab and one saw you right away. J decided
to come out, thinking that if you notice him, he’ll talk to you. If not, oh
Of course you got into the taxi and
didn’t see him approach. He had the perfect excuse for his indifference and you
swore never to get a hold of him again. You bawled all the way back to your
house, mad at yourself for being such an idiot. Yet, not too many choices at
the time. You erased his phone number from your cell and as soon as you got
home you smashed the phone to pieces, crying your eyes out since The Joker
didn’t want to at least meet you when you really needed his help for once.
After 7 months, J is in a meeting,
planning a heist and some transactions on the black market with his old
business partner when the conversation steered towards your absence at the
negotiation table. Everyone knew you were gone, but Jasper still ran his mouth.
“That’s too bad about what happened
to Y/N, hm? How old is she, 35 ? I hope she makes it… Hard to tell with this
kind of stuff…”
Your ex is not excited to hear your
name. He would love to blow Jasper’s brains, but he’s still needed.
“Don’t push it,” J growls, annoyed,
clenching his jaw. The guy lifts his
hands up in surrender, not having any desire to irritate the Clown Prince of
“No disrespect, sir, I was just
talking without thinking.”
J keeps on marking locations on the
map, absent minded.
“So…what happened to her?” he utters,
not lifting his eyes from the important project.
“You don’t know?!” Jasper replies,
“No,” J simply answers, sniffling.
“Do you really care to find out?”
“No… But tell me anyway!”
*** He debated for a week if he
should call you or not. When he finally dialed your digits, the flat message
made him roll his eyes: “This number has been disconnected or is no longer in
It took J about 3 more weeks to find
your whereabouts. You can easily make yourself disappear under fake identities.
Thankfully, The Joker has several ways of using his numerous resources when
Oh, no! you
think when you hear the doorbell. You slowly get up from the couch, dizzy from
the monthly IV medication dripping in your veins, one of the treatments you do
at home. You grab the IV pole, rolling it towards the door. You bought this
house outside the city, not wanting to be bothered. No neighbors around. And
you didn’t order any food or supplies to be delivered like you usually do.
“Coming!” you announce, holding on to
the wall with your free hand. “Who is it?” you inquire before opening the door.
“Pizza delivery,” the muffled voice
“I didn’t order any pizza,” and you
crack the door open. “Shit!” you gasp when you see J standing there and you
shut the entrance immediately, locking it.
“Really?!” you hear him and you back
out, alarmed. Surprisingly, no knocking or pounding. And it clicks: the sliding glass door on the
back porch is opened! You force yourself to walk as fast as you can, difficult
since you are hooked to your IV.
“Dammit,” you mumble when you get to
the living room and see he already got inside.
“I wasn’t aiming for this reaction,”
J frowns, taking a few steps towards you.
“What…what are you doing here?!” you
demand to find out since you’re not pleased about his presence. You really don’t need whatever the hell this
is right now.
“What’s wrong with you?” he cuts to
the chase, not in the mood for chitchatting. Those piercing eyes urge for an
“Nothing,” you grumble and squeeze
the pole harder.
“Doesn’t look like nothing,” he
points towards your IV. You sigh, feeling more and more uncomfortable.
“It’s only…only something to slow
down the process…”
“What process?” The Joker barks,
biting on his cheek.
“The process of me dying too fast,”
you serenely admit. He keeps on staring at you, kind of stupefied at how you
look: skinny, pale, dark circles under your eyes and he can notice it all since
you have no make-up on. Your hair is dark blonde now, still long yet visibly
“Nonsense, you’re too young,” he
drops on the chair closer to him, crossing his legs.“Who helps you?” he begins
another tirade of questions.
“Nobody; I leave alone, away from
everyone. I don’t want to be seen like this and I can take care of myself,” you
swallow the bitter taste on your tongue, nauseated. All the drugs you take have such awesome side effects. “Is this an
interrogation? Because I don’t want to talk nor see anybody. So if you would
just leave…” and you nod towards the sliding door he sneaked through.
“Nonsense,” he cuts you off, bouncing
his leg on top of the other, impatient. He reaches for the papers scattered on
the table in front of him, reading the names of the numerous vials with
tablets, capsules and lozenges, aggravated. “Do you have a list of all the
stuff you take?”
“Wh-what?! Could you just…just leave
please?!” and you gag, almost vomiting, rushing to snatch a container from the
kitchen counter with anti-nausea medication. You swallow one tablet with a few sips of
water and go sit down on the couch, exhausted. J watches your every move
without any comment.
“If you don’t leave I’ll call the
cops,” you close your eyes, feeling the room spinning.
“Please do, I would love to tell them
who you really are,” he scoffs, rattling some of your pills, amazed on how huge
they are. Crap, the police threat didn’t
“Go home to your girlfriend and leave
me alone,” you encourage him, hoping he’ll get lost.
“Go home to your girlfriend,” he
imitates you, giving you a mean glare. “Do I look like a fool in a leash to
you?! Don’t insult me! Plus, I hate her!” he snarls, finding what he came for
in the documents pile: an inventory of all the things you take for your
“You hate everybody, “ you whisper,
biting your dry lips.
“A skill I take a lot of pride in,”
he cracks his neck and finally gets up.
“Why are you here?” you tilt your
head to the side, fighting to keep your raging sickness under control. “
Where…where were you when I needed you so badly, hm? I asked for a meeting and
you didn’t even bother to come…I was scared and seeked your help. How stupid of
me…,” you sadly smile and even if you don’t seem to cry, J notices tears
rolling down your face. “Of course you are too busy to be bothered with someone
so insignificant as your ex that wanted to tell you she found out she’s dying…”
you wipe your tears, not breaking eye contact. Him adding to your misery doesn’t aid.
“Shut up, you’re not dying!!! And
don’t talk to me like this again!” he growls at you before slamming the sliding
door behind him.
“I AM DYING!!” you yell,
taking deep breaths to cool down.
My God, what in the world was that?!!! Do you have to move now?! You are
in no mood to do so, but probably you’ll have to pull yourself together and
vanish once more. How did he find you?
You didn’t hear anything from him in a while and you are relieved: probably forgot about his little project
involving you and lost interest like he usually does when he gets bored. It’s
better this way; you don’t need to be stressed out about more problems, you
don’t need your life turned upside down more than it already is.
You are coming back from your weekly
check up at the clinic and you notice a black car in your driveway. You groan
when you see Frost coming out of the vehicle, waiting for you. No choice but to
park next to him and meet him.
“Hi, Frost,” you cautiously greet.
“Is J here?”
“No, but boss wanted me to give you
this,” and Jonny hands over a sealed box.
“What is this?” you check, curious to
hear about it. What is he up to?!
“Mister J says the directions are
inside: take one of the red pills three times a day and the blue one just once
daily. He also said to stop taking the three meds he crossed over on your med
list. All in the box,” Frost blurs out, getting ready to flee. He sure is
uncomfortable; knowing you, you’ll certainly decline.
“I don’t want anything from him!” you
raise your voice.
He was afraid this will happen.
You place the box on the hood,
heading towards the porch.
“I can’t tell him that! Please take
“I don’t know what the hell those
pills are and I don’t need his help. Just tell him I said that!”
“He’s not gonna like it…” Frost
“So? I want to be left alone!!”
You are getting ready to go to sleep when
you hear a loud bang: your front door is being opened and slammed. Must be
J…and you are correct.
“Y/N?! Y/N! Where are you?” The Joker
shouts, looking around for you.
“Ummm…here,” you get on your knees in
bed, covering yourself with the comforter and bracing for the worst.
He storms in your bedroom, holding the
box he sent earlier.
“I understand you refuse to take
this?” his low voice echoes in the whole house.
“Yes, I don’t want it. Please leave!”
“Do you know what I’ve been doing for
the past 3 weeks since I last saw you? Hmmm? Do you?!” he starts unwrapping the
seal around the box, tossing it by you. “I broke into 3 research facilities,
about 5 hospitals, kidnapped doctors and blackmailed others in exchange for
information and treatments. Showed your med list to all of them and they came
up with some new options for your disease!” J is so mad he’s slamming all the
vials around, taking a red tablet out of one. “Take this!!” he shoves it in
your face and you hesitantly move your head backwards.
“It’s a new experimental drug!!“ he
roughly grabs your jaw.” I’ll get rid of the stuff you don’t have to take anymore.”
You sniffle, intrigued by his
behavior and escape his grasp.
“Why are you tormenting me? Are you
that bored? Why don’t you go back to Gotham?” You wipe your forehead, already
tired from all this crap. “Do you feel…guilty?” you touch his hand, moving it
away. He brings his face very close to yours, panting with indignation:
“I’m fucking buying you more time!!
So take this goddamned pill or I’ll force you! I mean it!!”
You sigh, weighting in the options.
“Fine…I’ll take it…Are you happy
now?” you reach for the bottle of water on the night stand and swallow the
“Ecstatic!” J grinds his teeth, vexed.
“They told me you should expect nasty side effects, but it will get better.”
You shrink under the cover.
“Well, I took it, so…you don’t have
to be here anymore.”
“Are you kicking me out?” he goes on
the other side of the bed, starting to pile up pillows.
“Please go back to Gotham,” you beg,
uneasy at the thought of him spending the night.
He stretches, fed up with the
conversation, wanting to relax after another long day.
One hour later you started feeling
the aftermath of your new drug. You are used with being sick and yet it doesn’t
make it easier. You shiver like a leaf, moaning in pain, adding 2 painkillers when
the aching becomes unbearable. You try to get comfortable but it’s useless.
“Are you cold?” J asks, moving closer
to you. “You…need… anything?” he struggles to offer, not really knowing how to react
to the situation. You nod a faint yes, reaching your hands for him:
“Y-you…” the weak response comes,
making him scoot over without hesitation. A strange warmness washes all over
him, making his heart beat faster and it’s not a pleasant emotion. You curl up
in a ball against his body while he covers you with his blanket too.
“J…” you whimper when his arms go
around you, “ O-one of these days they’ll find me dead in here. C-can you take
my things? I would hate for s-strangers to come in here, stealing what doesn’t
belong to them. You know how much I care a-about my things… Y-yes?”
The Joker believes you’re delirious;
he was warned about this common side effect of what you’re taking. Maybe you
“No, I won’t!” he emphasizes his
refusal, inflexible in his decision.
“W-why not?” you lick your dried
lips, getting even more upset.
“I only provide my services to people
I like. You’re not on the list,” he makes sure to remind you.
“N-nobody’s on the list,” you crack
an awkward smile, squinting your eyes when the muscle spasms hit again.
“Exactly,” J acknowledges, wondering
how the hell you manage on your own when you are so ill. He caresses your hair
and he notices so many strands left around his fingers.
“Jesus, Y/N!“ escapes his mouth
before he can stop the words.
“I k-know I should shave my h-head
and I just keep on p-postponing,” you tremble, praying you can rest for a
little bit. So many sleepless nights, twisted thoughts and therapies took their
toll on you.
After about 2 hours you finally fall
asleep and he dozes off also, worn out and fighting with himself about what
should happen next. J is not sure how long he’s been out, but when he wakes up
it’s still dark and you are in his arms. It seems you didn’t move at all and he
notices you’re not breathing.
“Hey, hey, Y/N, wake up!” he softly
slaps your shoulder and there is no reaction. “Hey! Wake up I said!” he gets up
on his elbow, terrified for once. “Open your eyes! Wake up!!!!” he shakes you,
feeling he’s starting to sweat from the anxiety.
“Mmmm,” he hears your groan and you
cuddle more to his chest, keeping your hands under his pillow. “What is it?”
you whisper, yawning.
He puts his head back on the cushions ,
“Shit, I thought you died…”
“Not yet…” you calm him down, not
wishing to wake up yet. “Go back to sleep, I’m fine…My blood pressure gets
really low sometimes, I’m still here…” you kiss the skin in front of your lips,
not grasping what you’re doing. You fall back into your dreamless daze while
The Joker is unable to do anything else but repeat in his mind the simple
sentence you used to let him know you’re still alive: “Not yet.”
You don’t go to the clinic anymore. A
lot of your old meds are not needed according to the new care plan in
place for you. New stuff is being added and some doctors are even brought to
your house so they can assess you. Tests after tests, trial and error of all
the drugs that The King of Gotham is able to smuggle and steal for you. You
have such bad days you seriously consider giving up, which was the plan before
he showed up at your home that day.
You have no idea why he’s putting so
much effort into it and he gets mad when you fight him, refusing to take your
“Nothing is really working, they make
me feel worse!” you sob, having a really bad day while being hooked to your new
“Tough it out, Pumpkin, could be
worse,” he grouchily snarls, moving some of your books around.
“You can’t buy me life, it’s too
late,” you wail on your couch, depressed and ailing in every single fiber of
“I’m not buying you life, Y/N, I’m buying
you time!” J aims towards all the vials,
bottles and containers containing the remedies you actually need.
“What does your girlfriend has to say
about this? I bet she detests me since you spend so much time here,” you want
to mention, blowing your nose in a tissue.
“I told you I hate her so I don’t
care about what she thinks!” he barks and shoves the books around when a piece
of paper folded in two flies out from one of them and lands on the floor. He
picks it up and opens it, reading your note:
-go to Japan
- a family
- see J one last time - no, no, no!!
-meeting my knight in shining armor
-kidnap Commissar Gordon again (he
-see J one last time – no!!!!!!!!!!
-find out Batsy’s identity (he
-steal more diamonds
-see J one last time - NOOOOO!!!!!!
“What are you doing?!” you jump off
the couch when you see the paper in his hand.
“A bucket list Doll ?! Really?” he
laughs because he has no better idea of how to get rid of this awful feeling in
“That’s private, give it back!” you
barely drag your feet to go to him and yank the list out of his hand, placing
in a drawer. “This is very personal stuff, you have no right to…”
“I do what I want!” he interrupts,
giving you a high and mighty gaze. So
“You can’t just…”
“Tell someone that cares,” he turns
his back on you, returning to his task and you sit there with your mouth open,
outraged. You forgot to cry. “When are you going to shave your head? The new IV
med will really make you lose more, that’s what they told me,” The Joker
chatters, turning his attention towards you again. “Want me to do it for you?
I’ve seen you have the electric hair clipper in the bathroom. Don’t be a
chicken and do it!” he distracts you from your tirade.
“I’m not sure if…” you try to
negotiate, but I guess he has a new assignment on the horizon. You are
conscious you’ve been delaying this forever; your hair is so thin and limp it’s
“Nahhh, I think we should go on with
it! No better time than the present!” and he takes your hand, guiding you towards
the bathroom while you steadily roll the IV pole with you. “Sit!” he pushes
your shoulders down on the chair and brings over the tool, turning it on. You
nervously gulp, watching chunks of your locks piling up on the marble flooring.
“Done!” he announces and you touch
your bald head, getting up so you can see yourself in the mirror. It looks terrible and you start weeping.
“Ahhh, it’s not that bad kid. You’re
still fairly pretty. To be honest, you’re uglier than before but I can still
look at you,” J cheerfully concludes.
You elbow him through tears, appalled
at your reflection.
“You suck at making people feel
better, you know that?”
“Another skill I take great pride
in,” he winks, grinding his silver teeth and you cry harder.
“My hair…it’s …just…gone,” you
stammer, saddened beyond control, stroking your shaved skin.
He sighs, softly pushing you away
from the mirror, still holding the trimmer.
“You know, Princess, I’m starting to
get sick of my green hair, I had it for a while,” he passes his fingers through
it, turning his head left and right.
“Huh?” you whimper, sniffling.
Before you can react, he turns on the
trimmer again, starting to shave his head. You stop bawling, shocked, watching
his green locks falling to the ground.
“What are you doing, J?!”
“Isn’t it obvious? Getting rid of
something I’m bored with. There, done! Com’ere!” he urges you to return in
front of the mirror with him. “I think we look pretty good, won’t you say?” he
puckers his lips and you start crying so hard it makes him cringe. “Would you
stop it??!! I didn’t do it for you, I’m too selfish. I was really tired of my
toxic green hair, got it?”
You nod a yes and hug him, squeezing
him in your arms as hard as you can since your IV line doesn’t permit a wide
range of motion.
Later that evening
“Are you ready?” he peeks in the
bedroom to see you dressed up. “Told you some make-up will do the job, you’re
much prettier now. Still not up to my standards, but…”
You walk towards him in your floral summer
“Horrible person…” you mutter,
elbowing him. “Where are we going?”
“I need your help with something and
since you didn’t get out of the house in forever, I have plans for today.”
“Where are we going?” you insist, stepping outside and observe the silver car on the
driveway, probably dropped off by his men because he didn’t have it there this
The Joker gets dresses with his
silver jacket, taking a deep breath before laying it down for you:
“The silver jacket is the most I can
do for the shiny armor, ok? Plus the car,” and cracks his fingers, a bit
You seem puzzled.
“Your stupid bucket list, Doll: the
knight in shining armor thing. I’m not wearing a dumb armor, this is the most
I’m willing to do.”
You stare at him, speechless, on the verge
of crying as he can see your lips quivering.
“Uhhh, give me a break!” J growls, giving you a nudge towards the car.
“What are we doing at Jasper’s hideout?” you
step out of the car, wondering what he has in mind.
“Some business to attend to and I
need your help, OK?”
“OK,” you agree, hesitant.
When you both walk in with the new
bald looks, everybody at the meeting instantly stops talking and glances, astonished.
“Wha’? “ J guides you to your seats,
“You didn’t see two beautiful people before?!” and the tone in his voice makes
them all aware they shouldn’t make it so obvious they’re perplexed at the
They all start talking in the same
time, apologizing and attempting to fix their mistake.
“Shut the hell up!” he addresses the
crowd, irked. “Wrong spot, Y/N!” he signals you to get up from your chair and
you do as asked, confused. “Here!” he pulls you in his lap and you place your
hand around his neck, smiling. “We are negotiating with this fine…gentlemen; I’m too exhausted for this, you do it.”
Wow, they didn’t see you in more than
a year and now you show up here with Mister J, back to what you used to do. What’s going on? they all ask themselves,
knowing they won’t get an answer.
The Joker rests his head on your
shoulder, listening to the sound of your voice in his ear.
He might not be able to buy life for the girl he hates so much, but he
can buy her time. As much as he can.
Authors Note: This anon requested fic literally made me giddy. It’s a Chris Evans/Jared Leto reader fic that I truly hope that you enjoy. XOXO
Trigger Warning: Angst, Heartbreak
“Helloooo love xx I was wondering if you can write one of those writing things about the reader being previously married to jared leto ( I just started obsessing over him ) but they divorced and now she’s dating chris evans and you can figure out the rest thank you .“ -Anon
The golden letters pop out of the page for you. Staring down, you see your name etched in gold as your fingers bend the edges nervously. The woman in the room tugging and pulling at you doesn’t bother you at all. You were used to this by now. Your first film being nominated for an Oscar meant that campaigning and nonstop talk shows were your day to day routine. But the man that you came home to almost every single night made it all easier.
Just as your nerves were getting the best of you, he wraps his fingers around your waist. Head resting on your shoulder, he places butterfly kisses on your exposed skin. “I never thought you could look more beautiful than the day that I met you. I was terribly mistaken.” You giggle a little. Cheeks flushing as your fingers race against his face before placing a soft kiss. “I’m so proud of you.”