lol loving my solar return chart for this year!! already sinking very deep into sadness because i feel very different from everyone in this county and i’m making myself smaller and dumbing myself down because of it :~) 

i have sr sun in 11th, uranus in 7th, and sr venus falling in my natal 10th house. 

i have never before had a problem with being the Different one, and now i find myself crying at home because i feel so outcasted. wtf. i hate me.


160924 ♡ KiHo @ Incheon Hallyu KPOP Concert

© one hope | do not edit.

Word Count: 910

Triggers: None

Requested by Anonymous

You weren’t going to tell anyone until it was certain. You had gotten a positive result on the instant pregnancy test, but it had happened before and just been a mistake. Of course you weren’t planning on telling anyone. Why freak everyone out if it wasn’t even necessarily true? Somewhere deep down, however, you knew you were lying to yourself.

You had gone to the doctor. He had given you the results. You decided to keep it secret just a little longer. Miscarriages were most likely in the first trimester. And really, there wasn’t any reason to make Nate bench you if he didn’t need to.

It was Eliot who found out first. He noticed you eating more than usual. You referred to yourself as ‘us’. As soon as you heard the word come out of your mouth, your hand rushed to cover it, hoping Eliot hadn’t heard you. He slowly turned around to face you.

“Us?” He questioned. Your face went white. He had heard you.

“I just meant, you know, I just – I just meant you and me?” You weren’t confident, and because you had made such a slip up you were too hasty to cover your tracks. Eliot’s eyes softened as he realized the gravity of what you had said.

“You’re going to have a baby,” he said, a smile slowly slipping onto his face.

“Um, well…maybe?” your voice was quiet and uncertain. Eliot laughed and went around the counter to give you a tight hug.

“I thought you were walkin’ different.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have a very distinctive walk,” he said in defense. You rolled your eyes as you asked him to keep it a secret from the rest of the team.

Next to figure it out was Hardison. Well, Hardison and Parker. Parker seemed to come out of nowhere, landing right in front of you. Instinctively you covered your stomach and backed up.

“Hey Parker,” you said, still trying to catch your breath from the scare she’d given you.

“Hey. Hey Alec can you get me the other rope?” You had been talking with Hardison and she had plummeted right in between you two.

“Yeah…sure babe, here you go,” he answered you, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Do I have something on my face?” You asked as his look became more and more curious.

“No, you just…” his eyes lowered to your hands, still covering your stomach. You blushed and quickly put your hands back into your pockets attempting to be as casual as possible.

“No way.” Hardison figured it out. His signature 100-watt smile carefully made its way onto his face. “Were you ever gonna tell us?” He asked.

“Tell you what?” You figured if you feigned ignorance he would drop it. You should have known better.

“You’re pregnant?” You scrunched your eyes closed. You had been so careful.  “Ha! Boy or girl?”
“Do I look pregnant?” You were suddenly self-conscious, worried that Nate and Sophie would figure it out and bench you.

“Nah, honey, you look great,”

“How the hell am I supposed to know the gender of my baby? I’m still in the first trimester.” You lowered your voice, glancing around to make sure no one was around.

“Woah, baby!” Parker said as she came down once again in between you and Hardison.

“Alec, Parker, please don’t tell anyone,” you begged, hoping that they actually listened to you.

“Cross my heart,” Alec said with a smile.

“Yeah, sure, Alec can you get me the nail gun?”

It wasn’t really until you started to show that Nate and Sophie caught on.  It wasn’t that you were getting fat, but you were starting to become a little more round. Sophie, of course, noticed first. She pointed it out to Nate and they both decided to confront you together.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You asked as you walked over to them. They had asked to meet with you privately.

“I have a question, well really we have a question, and it’s very important that you answer it, and if the answer is no, we can just forget about this whole thing –“ Sophie was rambling. You could tell she was nervous, and you knew why.

Nate suddenly cut her off. “Are you pregnant?” You chuckled at his bluntness, and then bit your lip nervously. You knew you were going to have to have this conversation very soon with them, but you hoped you would have a little more time.

“Is it really that obvious? I didn’t think I was showing very much yet,” you said, glancing down at your slightly protruding stomach.

“Oh you aren’t, dear, we just wanted to make sure, congratulations!” Sophie said, squeezing your hand. You smiled thankfully.

“I hate to do this, but you know I don’t want yo – either of you to get hurt.” Nate said.

“I know, I know, but can I at least help Hardison back stage or something? I don’t want to leave you guys in a lurch,” you said, anxious to get back to work. Nate begrudgingly agreed and you all walked to the back of the Brew Pub where Eliot, Hardison, and Parker awaited for your return so they could start the con. When you walked back into the room, they were all staring at the door.

“They know,” was all you said. They all congratulated you, and Sophie promised to throw a baby shower for you once the con was done.