You can shout from the rooftops what a terrible person you think I am, it will never make it true, and it still won’t increase your value. And if you’re expecting retaliation, I’m never going to fall as low as you.
One day you are going to find someone who loves you more than you love life itself. And this person will make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
One day, you will see all the cities you fell in love with through photographs and meet people who resemble the characters in your favorite novels.
One day, your dreams will come true.
not to be dramatic but i’m sick of being just dandelions to you. bees think i’m beautiful. i used to hate yellow because of how you treated the brightness in me. now i’m seeing yellow glow in everything. you never quite liked my hair or how i swayed while dancing but i’m learning that it’s because you don’t find music in wind and i can. what i’m saying is you saw me as mediocre. and i’m finally learning i deserve better.
That’s the hard thing about love, isn’t it? You don’t get a choice. You don’t get to look at someone and say, “I pick you.” It just happens. Someone shows up and all of a sudden it doesn’t matter what you need or deserve. You love them, whether you want to or not.
I fucked up. And where I fucked up is probably where a lot of us fuck up- l waited. I waited for him to come around. I waited to see if things would get better. I waited to see if he would become the man that I imagined him becoming. All of this fucking waiting, and before I knew it, a bunch of years had passed me by and l was still doing the same old shit… waiting.
I have tried to build homes in other people’s
mouths often enough to know it’s never safe.
Words are the most dangerous kind of natural
disaster. There are never any warning signs,
no flashing weather alerts. One minute I am
around the kitchen table and the next the fine
china on the top shelf is broken. I have learned
my way around broken glass, spent too many
days filling my lungs with smoke from the
house fires. My home always ends up over
run with fault lines. All the could haves,
should haves, would haves, what ifs,
maybes. I am always ducking for cover.
Clutching at door frames. Learning that
hiding out in basements can’t save you
from another person telling you it’s over,
it’s over, it’s over. And there are flashing
lights in your mind. Sirens spilling from
their mouth. The weather alert comes
blaring across the television, but it’s
too late. I’m already drowning.
KEYS & OTHER THINGS WE SHOULDN’T SWALLOW, angelea l.
The older I get, the more I enjoy simple, uncomplicated, and boring relationships. None of that messy crap or emotional roller coaster. At this point in my life I am looking for stability, not quick and senseless fun.