Murdoc getting into a bar fight after getting really drunk and he ends up getting his nose broken again? Maybe the rest of the band could try to stop him but man is he boozed up
language, fragile masculinity and sexism in this, oops. Enjoy protective boys - I went a little away from the request but I hope it is ok)
four of them always loved a drink, or if you asked Murdoc, several drinks,
after a concert. It was traditional almost, to have a beer or a drink with a
funny straw. Normally, they’d go home when Murdoc started falling asleep over
the table but something was different today. Murdoc had had various drinks but somehow,
he was still going, not lying half-awake on the floor, but instead seemed to be
on the prowl for a hook-up.
rest of them watched him from the table. Luckily, the bar was small and
unknown, making them able to be left by themselves. It was their expertise to
find these small places.
we go get him?” 2D mumbled into his beer, eyeing Murdoc who was currently
leaning against the wall and smiling at a young woman, who was clearly not
interested in his way-too-drunk behaviour. It wasn’t exactly charming.
let him get a slap,” Russel replied and Noodle giggled. They clinked their
to that,” Noodle said and sucked on the straw. She put it down and let out a
sigh of content.
guy now?” Russel raised his brows, “Jesus, he is drunk. He barely lets that
isn’t hitting on him,” 2D said, playing with an empty shot glass. It was
sticky, making him crinkle his nose, “Look at his face. No charm.”
eventually pointed to their table and the man walked up to them. Murdoc, on the
other hand, went back to hunting down the woman from before.
eyed the man for a moment, none of them really saying anything until Russel
cleared his throat, “Can we help you?”
yeah, yeah,” the man didn’t look at Russel but turned his attention on Noodle
instead, “Can I buy you a drink?”
Noodle said simply.
you look sexy as hell, I’d love to get you home with me,” was the reply, all of
them reacting by grimacing.
No thanks, I’m good,” Noodle said, holding up her glass in demonstration,
“Look, all full.”
c’mon,” he continued, leaning onto the table. Noodle scooted away and further
in on the bench. She groaned, wondering why the hell she hadn’t sat down in the
middle of her boys. The man urged on, “Just a shot then?”
she said no,” Russel grumbled and 2D followed him by nodding. The man turned
his head to him, looking almost repulsed.
she yours?” He growled and Noodle gasped at that, turning her body away from
2D exclaimed, “She isn’t anyone’s!”
man leaned down over her, “Oh come on, sweetheart. Don’t be so boring.”
go away, you creep,” Noodle shouted, tempted to throw her alcohol in his eyes.
you’re fucking ugly anyway,” the man hissed and sudden his shoulder was
going on ‘ere?” Murdoc slurred, looking at the man with utter disgust. He had
popped up out of the blue.
trying to figure out what your lady costs, apparently, a drink isn’t enough,”
he snarled and before he knew it, a fist was flying at him at full force. He
fell back onto the floor and Murdoc towered over him. The rest of the band
stood very quickly.
hell, Murdoc,” 2D said in awe, looking down at the poor sod on the floor. He
was bleeding from his nose and mouth, looking bewildered and confused about
what had happened.
deserved it, he did,” Murdoc growled, leaning down to pick him up by the
collar, “Nobody speaks to Noodle like that.”
sighed, “Can you not do that? Start a barfight?”
do whatever I want, love,” Murdoc said, dropping him onto the floor again.
grimaced, “Please don’t call me that.”
you mean?” Murdoc turned to face her but in the next moment, he was pulled down
onto the floor and the fight really began.
wrestled on the floor, Murdoc gaining a possible new fracture to his nose and
the man a black eye, and as Noodle complained and 2D bit his nails, Russel just
took a few minutes before the owner threw them out, Russel having to carry
Murdoc down the street till they found a cab.
liked that place, why’d have to get us banned from it?” 2D grumbled, arm around
Noodle as they walked.
fuckin’ disrespects my girl,” Murdoc slurred, half asleep in Russel’s arms.
Noodle smiled shyly, leaning into 2D as they walked down the small street.
guys are the best, you know that?” Noodle grinned, “My boys.”
How do I write an action scene that doesn't seem rushed?
Writing Well-Paced Action Scenes
If I could pick one word to guide me through action scenes, that word would be balance. Your action scene could go by too fast, or too slow for a variety of reasons
Action for the sake of action is boring, let the stakes dictate the length of a scene. Know when to show, and when to tell. For example, if your character is a highly trained mercenary up against a local bandit, then telling us, “He made short work of the bandit guarding the door,” is okay. If the mercenary is about to have the fight of his life up against his lifelong enemy, then we’re going to want to know more.
Focus on the POV character. This is where you show, don’t tell. But only show what is immediately relevant to the character. What does the character see, feel, smell, hear, and taste in the moment?
We don’t need a blow-by-blow account of what’s happening, but make sure to keep track of everything and everyone. Does someone suddenly have an extra limb? Should the bomb they’re fighting over gone off some two minutes ago? Did the Big Bad’s lackeys all conveniently disappear?
Style-wise, try to keep sentences short and clean as it conveys as sense of urgency. Go heavier on the verbs, and lighter on the adverbs when possible.
Remember, the readers will be invested in an action scene not because of the action itself, but because they are invested in the outcome for the POV character.
Sabe quando você ta perdida no mundo, e cria uma total certeza de que nunca vai dar certo com alguém, e nem faz questão de nada, você não se vê com alguém. E aí aquela pessoa aparece, e muda tudo. Foi assim, você chegou e mudo tudo - pra melhor.
Hi! (LOL, I'm so awkward. 😂) I have a question: do you have tips on writing striking first (and last) sentences? Whenever I try to start writing I always stress a lot on the first sentences (and the last ones) because I believe readers remember them the most. Often I back down from writing because I don't believe the first sentence is good enough. I've been reading stories and books and observed how they do it to help myself to do better, but I still end up with the same problem.
Writing Striking First and Last Lines
Listen up, and listen well: the first sentence of your first draft is allowed to be terrible. It is not a reflection on your skills as a writer, and certainly not any indication of how the rest of your draft will be. Beginnings are stressful as hell, but you shouldn’t let it get in your way.
Some people have first sentence block, some people have first page block. They start writing, can’t think of anything good enough, and end up staring at a blank document for hours, waiting for inspiration to strike and a perfect first sentence to appear on the screen. My advice? Don’t wait for inspiration, you’ll never get anything done that way.
Let’s look at the function of first and last lines. I’ll use examples from one of my favourite books, Uprooted by Naomi Novik.
The first sentence needs to pose a “why” question to the reader.
“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley.”
So, this tells me that the protagonist lives in a valley with a somewhat notorious Dragon. This Dragon takes girls away, but doesn’t eat them.
I’m immediately left wondering, who is this Dragon and why doesn’t he eat girls? Why does he take girls if not to eat them?
I’m left curious, but not confused. I want to know why, and so I’m going to read on. This is an excellent first sentence that does its job of hooking the reader.
Last Line (!!Spoiler Warning!!)
The last sentence needs to answer that question, or if there is a sequel, hint at a new question.
““Come and meet my mother,” I said. I reached out and took his arm.”
These are the last two sentences, but they’re short and work well together.
Throughout the novel, we’re presented with many questions. The initial “Who is the Dragon?” quickly develops to a “Who will Dragon become to our protagonist?” and this last line answers it. (Of course, there are questions of the “Will the world be saved?” variety in the middle).
This ending is also a reflection of the beginning. The story starts when the Dragon unexpectedly takes our seemingly unremarkable protagonist into his world. The story ends with our protagonist taking the Dragon into hers. We’ve come to full circle, and this last line gives us closure.
When we first start writing our story, we often only have a vague idea of the questions that we’ll be presenting to our readers. These questions become clearer as we write on.
And remember, people often start their story in the wrong place. They start it too early, or maybe too late. They’re looking for a perfect first line in the wrong place. Imagine that, the first line that you spent days and days on being scrapped in revisions.
The best advice I can give is this: if the first sentence/paragraph/page is holding you back, then start at the second. Put it aside, start writing your your story at a place you feel comfortable and confident, orient yourself and then come back later. The most important thing to do is write.
Don’t stress it, give it a go, and you may find that somewhere down the line, a perfect first line may come to you.