9pini9ns

loadedsword replied to your post:

human kind kinda aces at fucking everything up and were even better at hating ourselves collectively so i wouldnt feel too bad buddy

Every time y9u exist 9n my dash69ard 9r talk t9 me, I’m reminded why I like y9u and why I have such high standards f9r y9ur alternates.

Then I see any 9f them and I remem6er why n9ne 9f them will ever am9unt t9 th9se standards n9 matter h9w hard they try.

I d9n’t think I’ll ever f9und 9ut where they went wr9ng.
(I’d say where y9u went right, 6ut I think it’s really just them 6eing wr9ng.) 

l4tt1tud3:

yknow your usu4l b4bbl3 >8D 4nyth1n you w4nn4 s4y 4bout us!

… I used t9 have quite the flush crush 9n y9u.

I never liked Mituna, he was always in my way.

Cr9nus is a judgmental, cl9se-minded nitwit.

I used t9 have a huge pale crush 9n Meenah 6ef9re she disappeared.

The end. 

Despite 96vi9usly feeling it, I still find myself questi9ning if the dead can feel the c9ld.  I d9n’t kn9w why I questi9n that which is 96vi9usly a thing that is happening, 6ut then, in s9me recess 9f my mind, it’s hard t9 tell what is pr9jected, and what’s a reality.  In as far as reality gets in a dream 6u66le, that is.

Which leads me t9 w9nder what 9ne’s identity is, in a dream 6u66le, if anything at all.  We’re dead, 6ut it w9uld 6e s9mewhat insulting t9 say that that’s the end 9f it when we clearly have feelings and 9pini9ns and such.  6ut 9n the 9ther hand, what really can we d9 with 9urselves, 6ey9nd existing here?  I’d like t9 think that we can make an impact 9n pe9ples’ lives thr9ugh speaking with them, 6ut then, wh9 takes s9me9ne dead seri9usly?  They died.  They’ve d9ne s9mething wr9ng.  The m9st they can tell y9u is ‘d9n’t d9 this.’

While it is a valua6le piece 9f inf9rmati9n, can 9ne 6elieve that the dead kn9w what they’re talking a69ut t9 the p9int that they’ll actually take the advice t9 heart?  Unless 9f c9urse it’s s9mething al9ng the lines 9f, 'd9n’t d9 this unless y9u want t9 end up like me.’  Whilst imp9rtant, that isn’t the s9rt 9f thing I want t9 6e kn9wn f9r instilling in the minds 9f th9se imp9rtant t9 me …

Hmn.  I supp9se musing 9n these t9pics w9n’t help anything, will it?
It’s a w9nder I g9t there fr9m 6eing c9ld, th9ugh.  Hm.

… Sighs 6ecause what is faith in humanity.

I’m sl9wly realizing the m9re time carries 9n that I’ll never find a human that I can see myself wanting t9 deal with f9r a very lengthy stretch 9f time.  I d9 have a small affinity f9r Terezi’s matesprit, 6ut it may have t9 d9 with the fact the few times we interact, he’s refrained fr9m 6eing 96n9xi9us.

It seems even in their 6est interests, humans have managed n9thing 6ut t9 irritate me.  It’s ridicul9us, seeing as I g9 9ut 9f my way t9 t9lerate near every9ne.  I fight f9r equality, and d9 my 6est t9 try and keep my 9pini9ns 9f pe9ple in the p9sitive unless given s9lid factual reas9n n9t t9 d9 s9.

6ut I’ve tried time and time again t9 find a reas9n t9 enj9y a human’s c9mpany.  It just descends further and further int9 ‘n9 thank y9u’ territ9ry.  My first experiences with humans was terri6le, and then it just seemed t9 get w9rse …  sigh.

It’s like intellect is imp9ssi6le t9 find in near any species at this p9int save a select few individuals.

'St9p having 9pini9ns.’  This is stupid. 

This isn’t t9 say I give up.  This isn’t t9 say I hate every single 9ne 9f y9u 6ecause y9u’re humans.
This is me saying I’m n9t s9rry if I get sh9rt with y9u quicker than usual.  Eugh.

And it’s likely I’m n9t g9ing t9 ever get in a quadrant with 9ne.  N9t that any seem interested in me anyh9w, 6ut.  N9 …

anonymous asked:

M!A: You physically cannot stop yourself from saying(or typing) exactly whatever is running through your head for the next day and a half. (not that that's much of a difference anyway, haha)

There is, unf9rtunately, a huge difference in what I say and what I think.  The things that I say are n9t necessarily my 9pini9n, it is what I filter and deem accepta6le.  If I said everything I said with9ut pr9mpting, then I’m certain that the f9ur hundred ninety nine f9ll9wers I have s9meh9w 96tained w9uld dr9p 9ut.  Every single 9ne.

My tags w9uld 6e atr9ci9us, my language w9uld 6e sh9cking t9 th9se wh9 have n9t talked t9 me in pers9n and may6e even them 6ecause I think things in w9rding that I certainly w9uld never say, and pe9ple w9uld certainly n9t want t9 deal with my pers9nal 9pini9ns 9f them.

I g9 9ut 9f my way c9nstantly t9 ensure that pe9ple are as c9ntent with their life as they can 6e.  As s9me9ne c9mmented t9 me, ‘life is pain,’ 9r s9mething al9ng th9se lines.  I think that’s 6ullshit, and if we all **tried** t9 6e at least decent t9 each 9ther, every9ne w9uld 6e a l9t happier.

Hence why I 69ther t9 d9 that myself.  It’s n9t that hard t9 d9, 6y the way.  Acting like a civilized creature.  A l9t 9f y9u c9uld use s9me less9ns instead 9f 6ad talking me, 6ut whatever.  N9t the p9int here.

Fine.  Whatever.  Here we g9 9ffending every9ne, 6eing called a whiny 6itch, and pr96a6ly l9sing f9ll9wers until t9m9rr9w night.  L9vely.  Y9u’re **6eautiful.** 

amaranthinepariah:

congrats kri you deservve it

In all h9nesty, I really 6eg t9 differ with that statement.  I’ve really d9ne n9thing 9f value.  I 6utt int9 pe9ples’ c9nversati9ns, I whine a69ut life like I expect s9me9ne t9 pity me and make everything 6etter, and generally talk t9 a very select few pe9ple.  Which right n9w, I’m regretting.  6ecause let’s see here.

Eridan rejected me.  Karkat rejected me.

Gamzee isn’t interested, and he d9esn’t care at all that it’s 6eing auspisticed s9 that may very well 6e a rejecti9n in itself.

Um6ra may 6e slightly interested en9ugh t9 have fancied the th9ught, 6ut she has a m9irail already, which makes things a little awkward.  Especially 6ecause he’s d9ing an a6s9lutely shitty 69tch j96, and she said she can’t really handle him.  It’s a h9rri6le relati9nship and yet I d9n’t feel like I’m w9rth winning her 9ver, s9 it might as well 6e chalked up t9 an9ther rejecti9n.

I’m m9re 9r less fairly certain that Aradia and J9hn 69th feel a little awkward ar9und me right n9w, and frankly, I d9n’t 6lame either 9f them.  I’ve 6een a rather difficult assh9le a69ut the fact J9hn is a human and wants t9 6e my m9irail (6ut h9nestly, I just d9n’t feel like humans w9uld understand the 6ase instincts in any quadrants, and he w9n’t all9w f9r any r99m t9 make s9me c9mpr9mise with9ut c9mplaint; n9t t9 menti9n I’ve 9nly kn9wn him f9r the d9wnside 9f a week, s9 that’s a **little t99 s99n** t9 try t9 get int9 s9me9ne’s pale quadrant!).  And then I’ve just 6een a general drag when Aradia was ar9und and a rather misera6le h9st.

And n9w I’m actually **afraid** t9 6ranch 9ut and talk t9 pe9ple I d9n’t usually talk t9 6ecause I’m m9re than fairly certain I’m g9ing t9 end up in the same p9siti9ns all 9ver again.  I’m tired 9f my 9wn 6ullshit, and then here’s every9ne else still existing within my vicinity.

What ann9ys me m9st is all 9f these pe9ple will sh9w a neutral, passing kindness when I’m in a medi9cre / decent m99d, 6ut if I’m in a g99d m99d it seems every9ne has t9 attack me f9r S9METHING, and then when I finally snap at every9ne f9r 6eing ign9rant piss ants, suddenly every9ne is rushing t9 care again.

I d9n’t kn9w why every9ne’s here t9 put up with me when this is all that’s g9ing 9n.

… S9rry. 

anonymous asked:

Useless selfish asshole. You should just give up. (: Not good enough for anyone and yet you act too good for the people who stoop for you. Good job, Kankri.

… Yes, 9f c9urse.  That’s me.  Everything I d9 is with myself in mind, 9f c9urse.  I’ve d9ne n9thing t9 help any9ne else.  I really c9uld care less.

Why sh9uld I ever expect any9ne t9 ever like me?  I can’t even 6ring myself t9 care f9r them, s9 9f c9urse it’s a w9nder why I c9uld ever h9pe s9me9ne w9uld care f9r me!

I’ve never 6een g99d en9ugh f9r any9ne; I’ve never deserved any 9f it at all, 9f c9urse n9t.  I never W9RKED f9r my relati9nships, I never put in a single 9unce 9f eff9rt, 9h n9.  N9t me.  N9t the useless, selfish assh9le Kankri Vantas.

6ut why w9uld I n9t act as if I am a69ve every9ne?  I clearly am.  I’m a faultless, guiltless saint, and f9r any9ne t9 accuse me 9f anything 9therwise is clearly th9ughtless.

paragonofmystery:

Maybe once folks see how much you hold back people will appreciate more what you do say to them?

N9t likely.  I’ve sh9wed them 6ef9re h9w much I h9ld 6ack when I snapped at them.  I g9t pe9ple wh9 never give a shit talking t9 me like suddenly they d9, and G9d kn9ws it’s 9nly 6ecause I’m sick 9f acting like I give a damn when n9 9ne returns the sentiment.

If they w9rry that suddenly I might actually act like they d9, then certainly they 9ught t9 care!  9therwise, 9h well.  It’s just Kankri.