I like Lapis as a character, but she was not forced to fuse. She is a powerful hydrokinetic who had an entire ocean at her back and Jasper was already weak. If she tried to fight, poofing her would not have been hard. Instead Lapis agreed to the fusion and violated their mutual consent by forcing Jasper to stay in the fusion as she tried to break free. I don’t understand why people can’t see this. — Anonymous

is it better (to have loved and lost)

a/n: i’m so sorry

Candles gave her room in Polis a yellowish glow, still dim no matter how many she lit. Tonight, though, as she glared at Bellamy across the large space, she wasn’t sure she needed to have lit a single one. The sparks in his eyes and heat rolling off of him might be enough to set the whole space ablaze.

Hands fisting at her sides, she started. “Bellamy, this is what is best for our people–”

“Our people?” He growled. “Our people were killed by these people.”

“That was the Ice Nation–”

“It doesn’t fucking matter!”

“Bellamy, you can’t–”

“They’re never going to accept us Clarke.”

“They will–”

“Because the Commander says so? That’s fucking bullshit and you know it.”

“Nia will pay for what she’s done to our–”

“Don’t fucking say it.”


“You don’t fucking know who our people are anymore, Clarke! Because you haven’t been there. You left and you don’t get to make unilateral decisions about our people, not anymore.”


“I lost someone!” He roared, whipping around from her balcony, eyes flashing and voice explosive enough to startle her into flinching. “I lost someone Clarke, someone I–” He choked, not able to get the words out.

Clarke’s gut clenched and her throat went dry as she watched him spin around, clutching the railing and hunching over it, as if in physical pain. Slowly, so very slowly, she walked towards him, boots scuffing against the concrete floor. He tensed as she stood next to him, refusing to look. Hesitantly she raised a shaking hand, to set it on his shoulder, to comfort him, a boy who had lost so much and a man who continued to lose even more.

The minute she touched him though, he wrenched away. Then he looked at her, with rage and disbelief in his eyes. Her own eyes pricked with tears, because never, never had he looked at her like that before. Clarke inhaled sharply, feeling sorry and pissed and at fault and indignant all at once. Her skin itched, feeling stretched, as she watched Bellamy (Bellamy) back away from her.

“Don’t.” His word was biting, seething, bubbling with outrage.

Bellamy,” she hissed, because how could he not see it? How could he not see that she was doing this to save them all, that she always did whatever it took to save their people?

Whatever happened to it had to be done?

He looked away from her for the last time, turning on his heel to storm out the door. As she watched him go, Clarke expected him to pause in the exit, hesitating at leaving her, because together was how they had always done things. It was always how they won.

Bellamy never paused though, walking straight out of her room and disappearing in the dark without the slightest break in his stride.

Clarke thought she had known what loss was, but it wasn’t until that candlelit moment, where she felt tears spill onto her cheeks when she looked for someone who wasn’t there anymore, that she realized she still had a lot to learn about what the ground could take from her.

anonymous asked:

Can you like give me a summary of what all of your AUs are about? And which ones you are gonna write? Because I've been kinda checked out for a while but I love ur writing and I want to catch up.

5i can try haha there’s a lot of them

  • dancer au the one where lexa is an uptight prima ballerina and clarke is much looser dancer who joins her company. they are the leads in a gay cinderella and they go through a bunch of shit before they, of course, fall in love. clarke falls first and there’s lots of pining and jealousy and im very emotionally attached. completed (one part of 17k is published, likely there won’t be another piece to this).
  • roadtrip au is the one where clarke and lexa take a cross country road trip and try to deal with their plentiful emotional baggage. already started. five parts published (of roughly ten to fifteen).
  • titanic au is relatively self explanatory. au based on the movie titanic. already started. two parts published of four.
  • hogwarts au the one where clarke is head girl and lexa is a Bitter prefect/quidditch captain and they fall in love. already started. two of three parts published.
  • california au the one where lexa is kicked out of her house by her homophobic parents and clarke takes her in. it’s the story of how they fall in love, get separated, fall in love again, and somehow manage to lose each other again, then find each other for good. published in a series of long one shots. two of the three are published.
  • 10 things au the one where octavia Hates that she can’t bc of overprotective big brother bellamy so her best friend clarke enlists the help of raven reyes to distract him. then a bet is made that involves raven betting she can sleep with octavia too. of course, they fall in love. already started. one of four parts published.
  • professor/student au the one where lexa is clarke’s professor. clarke’s a survivor of sexual assault and she feels like she needs to take back her sexuality so she seduces lexa. of course, they fall in love. heavy side octaven that will probably have their own companion one shot bc i love them. not started yet but next on my list.
  • unrequited love au the one where lexa is in love with clarke and has been since they were teenagers. clarke is getting married to someone else and lexa has to either decide to let her go or do something about it. ft. pregnant and sad octavia who is giving up her baby, bellamy who doesn’t understand why, and raven who is trying to fight her feelings for octavia. also big sister anya who is very protective of lexa. not started but high on my list.
  • 505 au the one where clarke and lexa are in a toxic relationship. they’re in love, in some way, but they have their own demons to fight. they both have so much heavy shit in their lives that they haven’t ever dealt with and it’s Yikes. high on my list.
  • life as we know it au the one where lexa is lincoln’s best friend and clarke is octavia’s and when lincoln and octavia are killed in a car crash, clarke and lexa are left with custody of their daughter, aurora. funny, considering just how much clarke and lexa hate each other. not started yet.
  • high school hockey au the one where clarke and lexa play for the same high school hockey team but they’re pretty big enemies. they fall in love. not started yet and low on my list of priorities.
  • rent au the one where clarke is a stripper, lexa is an angsty musician, bellamy is a filmmaker, and raven is the one who left bellamy for his sister, octavia. based on the movie/musical rent. not started yet.

and THIS IS ALL OF THEM. yikes. 12 au’s for this fandom. yikes @ me. but don’t worry, all of them will be written eventually.

So, I have been really lacking in the speed department of art lately and needed to do a speedpaint an hour or unde (I haven’t done this in a year maybe). I also read all of and about @zarla-s ‘s handplates au last night, and felt inspired. Maybe I’ll do something bigger in the future!

I recorded this so I’m going to post that video in a little bit, and you can all see I have no idea what i’m doing up front.