9 more until

no not so fast morty. you heard you’re mom, we’ve got adventures to go on morty. just you and me, and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom. but never your father you wanna know why morty? because he crossed me. (ok take it easy rick, tha-that’s dark). oh it gets darker morty, welcome to the darkest years of our adventures. first thing that’s different, no more dad morty he threatened to turn me into government so i made him and the government go away. (ohhhh fuck). i’ve re-BURP-laced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if i came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason i rescued you. i just took over the family morty! and if you tell your mom or sister i said any of this i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because im a hero morty. and now you’re gonna have to go do everything i say morty. forever! and i-i’ll-i’ll go out and find some more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce morty! anb-because that’s what this is all about morty! tha that’s my one armed man. i’m not driven by avenging my dead family morty, that was fake, i-i-im driven by finding that mcnugget sauce! i want the mulan mcnugget sauce morty! that’s my series arc morty! if it takes 9 seasons, i want my mcnugget. dipping sauce szechuan sauce morty! (what are you talking about rick!?) that’s wha-that’s what (what are you talking about??) gonna take us all the way to the end morty! season 9 9 more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce. (what is that?!) for 97 more years morty (what are you talking about!?). i want that mcnugget dipping sauce morty!

psychic: *reads my mind*

my mind: Not so fast Morty you heard your mom we’ve got adventures to go on Morty Just you and me and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom but NEVER your dad! You wanna know why Morty? Because he CROSSED me Oh it gets darker Morty Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures First thing that’s different No more dad Morty He threatened to turn me in to the government so I made him and the government go away I replaced them both as the defacto patriarch of your family and your universe Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister so now you know the real reason I rescued you I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this I’ll deny it And they’ll take my side because I’m a hero Morty And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say Morty Forever And I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce Morty Because that’s what this is all about Morty That’s my one arm man I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty That was FAKE I’m driven by finding that McNugget Sauce I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce Morty That’s my series arc Morty If it takes 9 seasons I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE MORTY IT’S GONNA US ALL THE WAY TO THE END MORTY 9 MORE SEASONS MORTY 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE FOR 97 MORE YEARS MORTY I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE MORTY

psychic: what  t he  fu c k

How season 3 will probably go
  • Eclipsa: Ahh, not so fast Star. You heard your mom, we’ve got adventures to go on Star. Just you and me, and sometimes Marco, and sometimes your dad, but NEVER your mom! You wanna know why Star? Because she CROSSED me.
  • Star: OK, take it easy, Eclipsa! Th-that's dark.
  • Eclipsa: Oh it gets darker Star... Welcome to the darkest year of your adventures. First thing that’s different, no more mom, Star. She threatened to turn me in to the magical high commission, so I made her and the commission go away...
  • Star: Ohhh fuck...
  • Eclipsa: I replaced them both as the defacto-matriarch of your family, AND your kingdom.
  • Star: Oh man...
  • Eclipsa: Mewni wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you. So now you know the REAL reason I rescued you.
  • Star: Ohhhh-woah...
  • Eclipsa: I JUST TOOK OVER THE KINGDOM STAR!
  • Star: Oh man.
  • Eclipsa: And if you tell your dad or your people I said any of this, I’ll DENY it. And they’ll take my side, because I’m a hero, Star. And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say, Star, FOREVER! A-and I-I’ll go out and find some more of those B4 Snookers chocolate bars, Star.
  • Star: Wh-what are you talking about?
  • Ecliipsa: Because that’s, that's what this is all about Star!
  • Star: B4?
  • Eclipsa: Th-that’s my one arm man. I’m not driven by avenging my dead mom, Star, that was FAKE! I-I’m driven by finding those Snookers bars.
  • Star: Snookers?
  • Eclipsa: I want those Snookers bars, Star. That's my series arc, Star!
  • Star: What the hell?
  • Eclipsa: If it takes 9 seasons, I WANT MY B4 SNOOKERS CHOCOLATE BARS STAR!
  • Star: What are you talking about, Eclipsa?!
  • Eclipsa: TH-THAT’S WHAT'S GONNA TAKE US, ALL THE WAY TO THE END, STAR! SEASON, 9 MORE SEASONS, STAR! 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THOSE SNOOKERS CHOCOLATE BARS!
  • Star: What is that?!
  • Ecliipsa: FOR 97 MORE YEARS, STAR! I WANT THOSE CHOCOLATE BARS, STAR!
  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different?! No more dad, Morty! He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away! I replaced them both as the defacto patriarch of your family and your universe! Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister so now you know the real reason I rescued you! I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it! And they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Morty! And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say, Morty! Forever! And I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty, because that’s what this is all about, Morty! That’s my one arm man! I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! That was FAKE! I’m driven by finding that McNugget Sauce! I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce, Morty! That’s my series arc, Morty! If it takes 9 seasons, I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE! SZECHUAN SAUCE, MORTY! IT’S GONNA TAKE US ALL THE WAY TO THE END, MORTY! 9 MORE SEASONS, MORTY! 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE! FOR 97 MORE YEARS, MORTY! I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE, MORTY!!
10

Favorite Reads Of 2015: I wanted to present you my top 15 books but it was impossible to narrow this list down. All these books are special to me in their own way. For a full reading list click here. I hope you’ll find some new titles for your own reading list.

Ahh, not so fast Morty. You heard your mom, we’ve got adventures to go on Morty. Just you and me, and sometimes your sister, and sometimes your mom, but NEVER your dad! You wanna know why Morty? Because he CROSSED me. It gets darker Morty... Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different, no more dad Morty. He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away... I repla-burp-ced them both as the defacto-patriarch of your family, AND your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister. So now you know the REAL reason I rescued you. I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll DENY it. And they’ll take my side, because I’m a hero, Morty. And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say, Morty, FOREVER! A-and I-I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan, Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty. Because that’s, that's what this is all about Morty! Th-that’s my one arm man. I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty, that was FAKE! I-I’m driven by finding that, McNugget Sauce. I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce, Morty. That’s my series arc Morty! If it takes 9 seasons, I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE MORTY! TH-THAT’S WHAT'S GONNA TAKE US, ALL THE WAY TO THE END MORTY! SEASON, 9 MORE SEASONS MORTY! Szechuan sauce?! 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE! FOR 97 MORE YEARS MORTY! I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE MORTY!!!

mob. you heard your mom, we’ve got adventures to go on mob. just you and me, and sometimes your brother and sometimes serizawa. but never dimple you wanna know why morty? because he crossed me. (ok take it easy shishou, tha-that’s dark). oh it gets darker mob, welcome to the darkest years of our adventures. first thing that’s different, no more dimple mob he threatened to turn me into government so i made him and the government go away. (ohhhh fuck). i’ve re-BURP-laced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if i came home without you and your brother, so now you know the real reason i rescued you. i just took over the family mob! and if you tell your mom or brother i said any of this i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because im a hero mob. and now you’re gonna have to go do everything i say mob. forever! and i-i’ll-i’ll go out and find some more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce morty! anb-because that’s what this is all about mob! tha that’s my one armed man. i’m not driven by avenging my dead family mob, that was fake, i-i-im driven by finding that mcnugget sauce! i want the mulan mcnugget sauce morty! that’s my series arc mob! if it takes 9 seasons, i want my mcnugget. dipping sauce szechuan sauce mob! (what are you talking about shishou ?) that’s wha-that’s what (what are you talking about??) gonna take us all the way to the end mob! season 9 9 more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce. (what is that?!) for 97 more years mob (what are you talking about!?). i want that mcnugget dipping sauce mob

  • Person: wow you have a dark sense of humor
  • Me: Oh it gets darker Morty... Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different, no more dad Morty. He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away... I repla-burp-ced them both as the defacto-patriarch of your family, AND your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister. So now you know the REAL reason I rescued you. I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll DENY it. You'll deny it... And they’ll take my side, because I’m a hero, Morty. And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say, Morty, FOREVER! A-and I-I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan, Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty. Because that’s, that's what this is all about Morty! Th-that’s my one arm man. I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty, that was FAKE! I-I’m driven by finding that, McNugget Sauce. I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce, Morty. That’s my series arc Morty! If it takes 9 seasons, I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING, SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE MORTY! TH-THAT’S WHAT'S GONNA TAKE US, ALL THE WAY TO THE END MORTY! SEASON, 9 MORE SEASONS MORTY! 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE! FOR 97 MORE YEARS MORTY! I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE MORTY!!!

“Ahh, not so fast Boris. You heard Henry, we’ve got adventures to go on Boris. Just you and me, and sometimes Joey, and sometimes Henry, but NEVER the others! You wanna know why Boris? Because they CROSSED me.”

 “OK, take it easy, Bendy! Th-that’s dark.”

“Oh it gets darker Boris… Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different, no more animators. They threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made them and the government go away… “

“Ohhh f*ck…”

(shitpost below)

Keep reading

Matt's motives...

Woolie: Matt, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna take the day off.

Matt: Not so fast, Woolie, you heard the fanbase. We’ve got LPs to do, Woolie. Just you and me and sometimes Pat and sometimes Cranky but NEVER Liam! You wanna know why Woolie? Because he CROSSED me!

Woolie: Okay, Matt, take it easy, that’s dark.

Matt: Oh it gets darker, Woolie. Welcome to the darkest year of our playthroughs. First thing that’s different, no more Liam, Woolie. He threatened to LP a bunch of creepy anime Wii U games so I made him and the Wii U go away.

Woolie: Oh, fuck…

Matt: If you tell Pat or Cranky or even Plague I said any of this I’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because I’m the Boss, Woolie. And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say, Woolie. Forever. And I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce, Woolie.

Woolie: What are y-

Matt: Because that’s what this is all about Woolie. That’s my one arm man. I didn’t create this channel to just play video games, Woolie. That was FAKE! I’m driven by finding that McNugget Sauce! I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce, Woolie!

Woolie: Sauce?

Matt: THAT’S MY SERIES ARC, WOOLIE! IF IT TAKES 9 MORE YEARS OF LPS, I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE, WOOLIE! IT’S GONNA TAKE US ALL THE WAY TO THE END WOOLIE! 9 MORE YEARS WOOLIE! 9 MORE YEARS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE FOR 97 MORE PLAYTHROUGHS WOOLIE! I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE WOOLIE!