8hp

Context: In my group most of us are new to the game (including me) and the DM was talking about the different races and classes and stuff and he mentioned that Dragonborn and Tieflings don’t really like each other. Now me (who decided to be a Tiefling ranger with 11HP and 16AC) and my friend who I also have a crush on (who decided to be a Dragonborn sorcerer with 8HP and 0AC) instantly look at each other and started some ‘playful’ bickering:

Dragonborn: Ugh why do we have to have a Tiefling in our party?

Tiefling: Why do we have to have a squishy Dragonborn in our party? I could slap you and you would die you’re that squishy and pathetic

Dragonborn: Do you know magic? I could hit you with a spell before you could even get close to hitting me

Tiefling: *pause because I’m crap at comebacks* well…you have such a tiny dragon-dick that not even a human would want to sleep with you

High-elf cleric and Drow bard (2 other party members): OOOOH DAMN 

Dragonborn: That’s not true everybody loves a bit of draconic penis 

Human barbarian (another party member): *really quietly* true he’s not wrong

DM: *facepalms while giggling wearily* I hope you’re not going to be like this all the time