84 year old woman

eveninglottie  asked:

So I have one of your Solas pieces as the background for my phone (the Apotheosis one, I hope that's okay??) and my nana looked over my shoulder the other day while I had my phone out and asked, "Is that one of those animated wizards you like? From that sailor show? He looks very scary." and I about lost my mind it was so funny. Thought you might get a kick out of an 84 year old woman thinking your Solas fits in with the Sailor Moon reruns I used to watch at her house as a kid :P

AAAAAARGHH CUTE hahahah I can’t believe I just got indirectly “is that anime?” ‘d by your nana 😂 animated wizards are the best characters!! that is totally fine about the phone background by the way i’m flattered actually!! I drew another scary wizard picture last night I can’t stop


Y'all, my Gram is seriously my best friend and I just needed to tell everyone how much I love her.

The woman is 84 years old and I love to spoil her. I bring her to the bars with my friends because she absolutely loves to hang out with us, and my friends love her as well. I paint her nails. I listen to her ramble about celebrities, even though she can’t remember their names. We have sleepovers. I took her to see Magic Mike in theaters. 😂 She tells me what it was like growing up a farm girl in Kentucky. She’s 200% adorable all the time.

She’s seriously my world. 💚

Sherlolly Week 2016, Day 7: Free Choice

Prompt: Free Choice (Non-Canon/Headcanon)

Rating: T, for references to sexual situations

A/N: This fic is based on this prompt:

Molly roused from her sleep when the mattress dipped. She shut her eyes as Sherlock’s hand ran across her bare back. She fought the urge to smile when he planted a kiss on her shoulder.

His mobile buzzed, and she heard him unlock his phone. She raised her eyebrow when she heard him softly groan in annoyance. Listening to the keyboard clicks, she wondered why he was not getting up and getting dressed like she expected, especially if that was Greg telling him about a case.

To her surprise, she only heard a soft thud as he replaced his phone on the bedside table and the creak of the bed as he rolled over. She bit her lower lip to prevent her from moaning when the hand curling round her waist sent shivers down her spine and made her throb.

“Goodnight, my Molly,” he whispered before he tenderly kissed her neck.

She was drifting off back to sleep when she felt his finger touch her back. She raised her eyebrow again when he began tracing patterns on her skin. At first, it felt like he was tracing her name, nearly making her break into a grin. Then he began tracing other letters, causing her to open her eyes and bite down on her lip to stop her from gasping.

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double standards

84 year old woman:  im 84 and i run a half mile every morning

audience:  cheers and applauds

me, 21 years old:  i havent done any drugs and I have a good gpa

audience: silence

84 year old woman: sneezes

(A long conversation about sex, love and marriage.)
“My life was so-so, like everybody else. Up and down. Forget and forgive.”
“Looking back, do you think you’ve had more ups or more downs?”
“I think I had good enough, good enough for me. Now, at my age, I think I have the most because I don’t have to worry about anything. Everything is done; everything is paid.”
“Do you have friends you can talk to?”
“You know, nobody wants to have friends today.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“Because people are scared. They are scared of gossip. They are scared of robbery. They are scared of kidnappings. There are so many things you don’t expect to have in this day and age. First of all, people smoke. Second, they drink whiskey. And beer. Then, it’s drugs. Do you know drugs? People die from them. Then, sex. You know what it can do when you have sex? So many things. All kinds of diseases.”
“Why do you think people do all these things?”
“Because they live for today. They don’t think about tomorrow. They think that enjoyment is only sex, drink and smoke. At my age, we are not supposed to smoke or drink. And—forgive me God—sex?! Forget it! But men never stop. They only think about sex. They want to take the girl to the bed. That’s what men think about—sex. I don’t like it. I was never crazy about sex.”
“Did you ever marry?”
“Yes, but I didn’t like it.”
“Why was that?”
“I don’t like sex. I don’t like kisses.”
“Even kissing?”
“Yes. You don’t know that kisses make you sick, too? There is saliva. It’s contagious. You know that song, ‘I’ll never fall in love again’? It goes, ‘When you kiss a guy you get pneumonia.’ It’s an old song.”
“Did you ever fall in love?”
“You know what? First of all, love doesn’t exist.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Yes, it’s only hallucination. It’s only—how to say it? Let’s put it this way: It’s only obsession. You like somebody, and that somebody doesn’t love you, and you go crazy. And when you find somebody who likes you, you think it’s love. It’s not. They think that love is just to make love. Sex is not love. Sex is the pleasuring of the body. And after that, you fight. Is that love? Love is not sex. Sex is an instrument of the body. It’s to create kids, just like marriage. They also say marriage is till death. That’s not true. You marry today, you divorce tomorrow. Why? Was that love? No. It was hallucination. After they marry, they start to fight. The man goes to work and tells the wife to stay home. And he is happy to tell the whole world that his wife doesn’t work. Do you think the wife doesn’t work? She works more than the man. The woman has the whole job—100 percent.  When I used to work, I was happy to work, more than to stay home. Because when you work, you are with people.
The woman, first of all, is the slave of the husband, and then she is the machine to create kids. The man doesn’t know what it’s like to create kids. He only knows how to insert the semen. And he is happy. But he doesn’t suffer. The woman suffers. Even to make love she is suffering. Not only that, she gets sick everywhere: headache, cramp, stomachache, vomiting. When she gets pregnant, the man doesn’t know that the woman is really sick. He doesn’t care. ‘You go in bed with me or I leave you. You don’t give me what I want, and I leave you. I’m going to find somewhere else what you don’t give me.’ When the woman is pregnant, don’t think that she has a good life. Not just that, but she also has to wash dishes, do shopping, do laundry, do the ironing, clean the house, clean the bathroom, clean the kitchen, the oven, the stove, the refrigerator. Later, she has to take care of the kids. She has not one moment of peace. The man comes home, and says to the wife, ‘I’m tired. I work all day. You sit all day.” Did she sit with the kids all day? Go here, go there, the kids cry. You know how crazy children make their mother? Then, wake up, feed the kid. The man doesn’t do it. He says, ‘Go, you are the mother. Take care of your child.’ The man puts all the heavy stuff on the woman. She is suffering—200 percent! Do you think that it’s love that she is receiving from her husband? And then the husband goes with another woman. And not only that, he brings sickness to his wife.”
“Do you think that most men are like this?”
“I have no idea. I am a woman, not a man. I don’t know.“
“But you speak from personal experience.”
“I only stayed with a man a year and a half. No more.”
“Did you have children?”
“I had two kids. But most of the time I was alone.”
“Because he was working?” 
“No! I was working. And he didn’t want to help me. Do you understand? He didn’t help me at all. I did the whole thing. So I prayed to the Lord, ‘Make him go! Take care of him.’”
“What about the people who stay together for many years?”
“Only if they are not married. But then they are stuck together more because there are no obligations. Or they are scared to leave you alone. As soon as they get married, they start to say, ‘Why do you come home so late? Where have you been? Why didn’t you bring me this? You know, when you get married, there are no more happy days. You don’t take your wife to the movies anymore. You don’t take your wife to dance. You don’t take your wife to the park. No more holding hands.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes, yes, yes. You go check on the people who are married. The first couple of weeks they are holding hands. Then, one goes there, the other one goes here.
That’s why I told you that love doesn’t exist. It’s only a hallucination.
And first of all, I don’t like the smell of the man. He stinks. Their underarm stinks; their whole body stinks. I am so clean, I don’t like to sleep with nobody. You see me—I’m very clean. I just took my bath. And I am almost 84 years old. My doctor told me, ‘Maria, you are a healthy woman.’ I said, ‘You know why? No man, no woman.’”
“Do you know people who have been together for a long time and are still happy?”
“They lie. Or they are scared to live alone. I was scared to live alone with my son because I was afraid that he wouldn’t have a father. But that’s not important. Do you think it’s better if the children hear their parents fight all the time?
And first of all, the unfaithfulness of the man is the main thing that separates a marriage. Men think that marriage is just for the woman. They think that they are still free. Because they don’t have problems with their body. They don’t grow kids. They don’t get sick. Do you think that people who are married and live together for a long time are happy? No, they are forced to be together because they are married. You are married to me. You belong to me. You can count on your fingers the people who can say that they are really happy. Can you find people who can say, ’If I die and get to live one more time, I want my husband again’? I don’t think so. Marriage is hell.”
“Why did you get married in the first place?”
“I went with a man without love because I got tired. I never felt love.”
“Why did you get tired?”
“Because when I brought my sister to this country, she had children. And she thought that I don’t like children. She called me a mule.”
“How old were you then?”
“I was 33, and I had never been with a man or with a woman. You see, when I was young, I never went crazy with boys or with girls. I never went with a man like a boyfriend. Never. I never kissed a man. But I liked to go to dance. Oh, I loved to dance! I hung out and went to dance but no kisses and no hugs. Only hello and goodbye.  Because my mother used to say ‘When men come to you, they put heaven and earth in their hands. And they put you in their hand. Once you marry them—boom! It’s over. They’ve got what they want.’”
“So you listened to your mother, but then your sister—“
“My sister told me that I was a mule. ‘You don’t have children,’ she said. So I said to myself, I want to show my sister that I can have children, and I am no mule. Because when a person tells you that you are a mule, it says so many things.”
“And you married only to prove your sister wrong.”
“Yes. It was stupid, I know. But when your sister keeps telling you this thing, you get tired.”
“How did you find your husband?”
“When I went to dance one time, my sister brought some friends to the house. And two girls brought with them two men. I don’t know if they were married. They didn’t say nothing. And I thought, Who cares? Maybe I will go with this man and have children and then—goodbye. But the man was full of baloney because he only wanted sex—all the time! It made me sick. I don’t like sex. Especially the smell of the man, oh my Lord! I said, ‘You stink.’ And he hated me. He said so many bad words. I didn’t care. And that was it. Maybe a year and a half.
He only wanted sex and to take my money. He took my check. So I went to my country, Colombia, and I climbed to the top of the mountain Monserrate in Bogota. I stood at the shrine and asked the Lord, ‘Please, take this man away from me.’ When I came back, he was still in the house, but three or four months later immigration came and picked him up. And I said, ‘Thank you, God! No more men in my house.’
And don’t think now that I am a bad person. I am not.”