8224

8224) In order to make my parents and my therapist believe I'm trans and take me seriously, I sort of came up with a persona. One that's perfectly heterosexual, knew since she was in preschool, and loves dresses and the color pink. This isn't the real me, not even close, but I knew being honest about these things could get me barred from hormones because of how corrupt the system is. Now that I started HRT I'm too deep in the act to know how to stop. I'm no longer myself.
8224) I'm very 50/50 with a lot of things in my life but one thing I'm not 50/50 on is my body. I don't like how i look, but it ranges from "I'm fine with it I guess" to "I absolutely fucking hate it" and that puts me in a difficult position because as much as I want to embrace my body, eat the food I adore so much and not have to stress out about diets and weight, I just end up crying about being too fat and starving again.