808s&Heartbreak

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“He knew what he was doing when he gave me the Deluminator, didn’t he? He - well,” Ron’s ears turned bright red and he became engrossed in a tuft of grass at his feet, which he prodded with his toe, “he must’ve known I’d run out on you.”

“No,” Harry corrected him. “He must’ve known you’d always want to come back.”

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Hey everyone, we’re writing an LGBT+ Superhero Comic, and it needs your help!

Welcome to “The Super Improbability of Marcus Egan’s Heartbreak,” where his ex-boyfriend is a reformed super-villain, his current love interest is the newest superhero protecting the streets of Boston, and his Dodgeball team (The New Dodgevengers) is the worst in their league. 

This is a story all about heartbreak, friendship, and growing up, and it features a diverse cast of characters from all over the LGBTQIA spectrum. From the asexual, heteroromantic hipster Tye to the resident straight friend Chelsea who’s currently dating the bisexual of the bunch, Connor, I want to make this graphic novel as inclusive as possible. The novel that adamfay and I created is currently live on Indiegogo.com and reached 5% of our goal within an hour, but we’ve still got a long way to go! 

This will be a graphic novel for all ages. Think HBO’s Looking with the innocence of the Scott Pilgrim series and a more likeable lead (sorry, Patrick). I want this is be a story anyone can read and see themselves, their friends, and the promise of a more inclusive future. So spread our campaign and help get this made! 

It’s funny to think that one moment you can mean the world to someone and then the next you mean nothing to them. Just like that your world is falling apart and they can’t even see how much they have hurt you. All they care about is themselves. They don’t care that you gave up everything to be with them. That you risked your relationships with your family and your friends in order to be with them. You were a toy to them, someone to mess around with and use until they got bored.

The thing is, you don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve to be treated like a second choice. To be thrown to the side when they’ve gotten all they could out of you. You don’t deserve someone who only uses you to make themselves look like the better person.

You deserve someone who looks at you with a spark in their eyes. Someone who actually cares about how your day was or what the book you’re reading is about, the simple things. You deserve someone that falls in love with you over and over again every single day. Someone who isn’t afraid to know what’s on your mind and who will tell you how they feel. You deserve someone who won’t run when things get bad.

You are worth so much more and deserve so much more than that one idiotic boy made you believe.

You are extraordinary.

How did it become so that your name was no longer synonymous with love but with sadness? Where did we go wrong that I no longer tasted your lips on a Monday morning, but instead, the bitterness of alcohol and devastation? What turned us away from one another and into the beds of people whose faces we barely even remember anymore? I am trying to find the answers to these questions by scratching underneath my skin but all that this is revealing is that I am painfully human and I still bleed when thinking about you and me. Why does love have such a broken legacy? Is this the way that we were always meant to be?
—  Questions that will be left unanswered

HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN YOU LOVE HIM:

i. Someone once told me he was an arctic I lost myself in. I learned how to breathe while frozen, learned to enjoy how the frostbite numbed my fingers, learned to be thankful they were not falling off at least. Someone once told me frozen lobsters can come back to life when unthawed. That without the cold, they can learn to live again.

ii. When snakes are born with two heads, they fight for food. When twins are born conjoined, they fight for use of their organs until they are separated. You think your bodies are made to fit inside of each other, but darling, soulmate is not synonymous for togetherness.

iii. You are lightning always competing with thunder, but yelling louder doesn’t mean he’s right. Loving publicly doesn’t mean you love more. Weeping harder doesn’t mean your sadness is stronger. So smile, smile because you have the strength to give up the fight.

iv. Maybe you aren’t there yet, but recognition is the first step. Recognize that you are fighting a war against the unchanging earth and kiss yourself with a million apologies for every time you put him above your well being. Blink butterfly kisses into your bloodstream until love radiates through the melanin in your skin. Put on your darkest shade of lipstick and kiss him out of every photograph of him kissing you, no matter how numb your tongue is from its inability to sit still without his mouth.

v. Realize that love has a lot to do with the way he made your tongue move against your lips. It’s late-night tongue wrestling with words so sweet, you spit them out so easily. Now your tongue is bitter like black coffee and it will take some getting used to. Luckily, your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body. Luckily, you can find other people to swirl your words in like galaxies. You can find your own belly so soft, you will never cover it in indigestion.

vi. Before the 17th century, almost all carrots were purple. When you are seventeen, the most important thing is not developing your taste, but finding comfort in things unchanging. Find new comfort zones. Hallow out your backyard until hell looks like home. Until you are thankful that the pain made you who you are.

vii. This life is for exploring, never for standing still. There are more microbes on your skin than people on this planet. Our bodies are outnumbered ten to one by the bacteria that lives on them. We have so much more to love than just our bodies. We have so much more to scrutinize than just our skin.

viii. You are taller in the morning than the evening. Our eyes are the same size from birth, but our ears never stop growing. Your eyes can deceive you, so open your ears to knowledge. Learn who you are and wake up each morning stronger-willed, with bigger bones than you thought you could ever be made out of.

ix. Love him, love him, love him, but never forget to leave him.

x. Love him because he does not know any better than the fault lines his hands create, but love yourself enough to let go of him anyway.

—  How to love yourself more than you love him / scarredconversations