"You made a dick joke!"

I play a Dwarf Monk named Umi who’s having a mid-life crisis, and one of our other players are playing a 7'2" half-elf/half-orc Barbarian that my Dwarf lovingly calls “oaf”
We’re in a forest, and the ground opened up under our Cleric, and she fell 35 feet into this pit.

When trying to figure a way to get our Cleric out, Oaf and Umi are looking in the hole.

Oaf: “Does anyone have any rope?”

Umi: “Oaf, yer seven feet tall. How long’s yer dick?”

Oaf, ooc: “I push the dwarf into the dang hole.”

Everyone laughs.

–In the hole–

Claric: “Did you both just jump down here?”

Umi: “No, the Oaf pushed me!”

Oaf: “You made a dick joke! We don’t make dick jokes!”

Umi: “No, YOU don’t make dick jokes!”

William Bouguereau, 1825-1905, Naissance de Venus, Translated: Birth of Venus 1879

Oil on canvas, 300 x 218 cm, Musee d'Orsay (Paris, France)


This painting standa just over 9’ 10" high, and just under 7'2" wide. Bouguereau’s Birth of Venus strongly resemblances Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, which also depicts Venus with long flowing hair standing on a similar shell.

Imagine... (Garrus/Nihlus/Shepard edition)

Nihlus and Shepard entering a tentative relationship, both fascinated with each other, Nihlus has dated humans before, but never a soldier like Shepard. 

Nihlus being Shepard’s first Turian, and Garrus her second, she’s happy like that.

Nihlus just taking Shepard on an outing to show her the Citadel, Shepard only catches on later that it was supposed to be a date.

Nihlus taking Garrus as his student, teaching him how to be a Spectre.

Garrus learning the hard way that, as much red tape as C-Sec has, it’s a thousand times worse having to answer directly to the Council.

Nihlus and Garrus experiencing loss after Shepard’s fall over Alchera, leaning on each other and becoming closer despite the age difference.

Garrus slowly becoming Archangel, under Nihlus’ guidance. Ruthless, with a keen sense for uncovering the dirt of Omega.

The first time Nihlus and Garrus fuck, it’s attraction mixed with a sense of loss, longing, and sheer want.

Nihlus ordering a feeler for Sidonis, keeping an eye on him until such a time as Garrus wants to hunt him down.

Shepard knowing both of them well enough to deter their plans.

Shepard inviting Garrus to her and Nihlus’ bed, the first time, then the second, then the third. To the point Shepard’s cabin in the SR2 is as much home for him as Nihlus or Shepard herself.

Shepard having a plethora of nicknames for them, using them interchangeably and somehow they both know who she’s talking about.

Nihlus convincing both of them to form a Trias, a relationship based on trust between 3 people.

Garrus and Shepard cuddling together, only to have Nihlus walk in and join the cuddle pile.

Shepard learning to read their subvocals by touch alone.

Shepard gasping ‘Aster’ in the middle of lovemaking and that’s the only time they’re confused about who she’s calling.

Both of them having pet names for Shepard and using them at the same time.

Shepard walking in on Nihlus/Garrus only to smirk, sit back and watch.

Both of them comforting her after Thessia.

Nihlus knowing the clone is, in fact, a clone by smell alone.

Taking the piss at Garrus because of it.

Only for Garrus to have known about the clone the first time he laid eyes on it and taking the piss right back.

Garrus being the best sharp-shooter, while Nihlus favours shotguns.

Shepard favouring a 4-people ground team because apparently you CAN’T have both your husbands in the same ground team over and over.

Nihlus asking Sparatus and Valern to officiate their marriage in the middle of the war.

Nihlus and Garrus arguing over who has the best wife, only for Shepard to walk by and roll her eyes.

Nihlus going away on Spectre solo missions, leaving both his mates worried until he returns.

Tidus Vakarian torn between being absolutely LIVID and incredibly PROUD of his son. On one hand, TWO Spectres Garrus? Really?! On the other hand: TRIAS!

Shepard, 5'4, sleeping nestled between the two hulking forms, Nihlus at 6'9 and Garrus at 7'2.

Doing their version of a double date.

Shepard appearing on the news kissing both Turians, the Human backslash is drowned by the Turian-Asari support.

Both men refusing to be called 'Cupcake’ and 'Muffin’ only to answer to those names privately.

Nihlus teaching Shepard how to dance, only for them to break down laughing.

Garrus taking her to Tango, and throwing a smug look Nihlus’ way before changing Shepard for him.

Garrus walking in on Nihlus and Shepard making out, only to plaster himself to one of their backs and whisper 'let me see you two.’

The three of them living happily ever after.

So yeah, I’m not sure if someone attempted this before, but I decided to use this chart and pixel-scaling to measure the heights of the cast of Super Mario Bros. This is what I got.:

  1. Boo: 2'5⅛” (43 pixels)
  2. Goomba: 2'6½” (45 pixels)
  3. Baby Mario: 3’⅝” (54 pixels)
  4. Baby Luigi: 3'1¼” (55 pixels)
  5. Shy Guy: 3'4⅝” (60 pixels)
  6. Toad: 3'5⅜” (61 pixels)
  7. Toadette: 3'5⅜” (61 pixels)
  8. Toadsworth: 3'5⅜” (61 pixels)
  9. Dixie Kong (on fours): 3'9⅜” (67 pixels)
  10. Diddy Kong (on fours): 3'10⅛” (68 pixels)
  11. Koopa Troopa: 4'⅛” (71 pixels)
  12. Koopa Paratroopa: 4'⅛” (71 pixels)
  13. Dry Bones: 4'¾” (72 pixels)
  14. Bowser Jr. 4'4¼” (77 pixels)
  15. Bullet Bill (length): 4'6¼” (80 pixels)
  16. Hammer Bros (and variants): 4'8¼” (83 pixels)
  17. Mario: 5'1" (90 pixels; Base Height)
  18. Lakitu (hair to bottom of cloud): 5'5¾” (97 pixels)
  19. Wario: 5'6⅜” (98 pixels)
  20. Luigi: 5'8½” (101 pixels)
  21. Yoshi: 5'8½” (101 pixels)
  22. Daisy (crown excluded): 5'9¾” (103 pixels)
  23. Piranha Plant: 5'9¾” (103 pixels) (Varies; some may extend for over 50 feet)
  24. Peach (crown excluded): 5'11⅞” (106 pixels)
  25. Donkey Kong (on fours): 5'11⅞” (106 pixels)
  26. Birdo (from the top of the bow down): 6'3⅞” (112 pixels)
  27. Waluigi: 6'11⅜” (123 pixels)
  28. Wiggler (with flower): 7'2¾” (128 pixels)
  29. Bowser: 8'4⅜” (148 pixels) (varies by game; height listed is “normal” height)
  30. Petey Piranha: 12'7⅞” (224 pixels)

So yeah, there’s that. There are far more Mario characters that exist, but these are the 30 characters that were put in the poster, and this poster was made before Rosalina became popular. Speaking of Rosalina, I recently determined her height as 6'8⅞”. Now, due to the low resolution of the chart (768x383), this is rather inaccurate. Well, enjoy.


My newest wolf beside my first wolf. This one looks like GreyWind from the GoT series so that’s what he will be named.

He’s 7'2" from nose to tailtip so it was hard to find a place to put him. I’m going to be buying some toggle bolts this weekend so I can finally get one of my deer up on the wall above the fireplace. My living room is looking crazier and crazier. Hopefully soon I’ll have the will to re-shape ShaggyDog’s face finally.

This wolf was trapped and sold legally in my province, did not cross provincial or country borders, and is entirely legal for me to have. If you have an issue with wolf trapping or hunting, go elsewhere.

((Aqua’s Themes:
https://youtu.be/SL9HuClKV18 ))

Gender: Agender (She/Her)
Sexuality: Pansexual/Polyamorous
Height: 7'2"
Special Abilities: Hydrokinesis, able to talk to marine life (this includes any animal that spends most of it’s life at sea or in the water, like sea otters). She can’t control them, but they’ll listen to her if they feel like it.

I am -NOT- open for fusion requests at this time, but if you want to you can draw fusions with any of my gems as long as you link back to me!

Here are the heights of the Bendys and Boris

(I’m going to add more each thing I make a new design)
Bondy: 8'0"
Boris Norris: 8'10"
Bendyboi: 5'0"
Lil: 3'5"
Goop: 3'0"
Rosy: 6'11"
King: 7'0"
Flame (thrower): 6'5"
Sebastian: 7'8"
Draper: 7'7"
Robot Bendy: 9'0"
Bento: 6'11"
“Croc”: 11'5"
Duchess: 7'5"
Bends: 7'0"
Reap: 11'0"
Kitten: 2'0"
Cosmic: 4'5"
Inkjet: 5'5"
Royal: 5'11"
Star: 5'9"
Taureau: 7'10"
Spring: 3'5"
Inferno: 6'7"
Puppeteer: 7'5"
Slick: 7'10"
Sleek: 7'10"
Void: 12'0"
Prince: 7'10"
Talon: 7'0"
Noir: 7'5"
Skulls: 5'6"
Xeno: 4'10"
Curse: 11'8"
Lavender: 6'5"
Tessa: 8'2"
Rocco: 7'2"
Chloe: 4'2"
Mime: 5'2"
Mr. Grey: 5'2"
Boa: 6'7"

♤ Name: Anapos Nethum

♤ Muse Tag: 【 тнє cαll oғ cтнυlнυ 】

♤ Symbol: Neptune planetary symbol

♤ Blood Color: Fucshia

♤ Quirk: -€ The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

♤ Dancestor: Volani Nethum

♤ Ancestor: His Eminent Treachery

♤ Lusus: Anglerfish

♤ Age: 417 Solar Sweeps [ 903.5 Human years ]

♤ God tier: Knight of Mind

♤ Strife specibus: Tridentkind

♤ Height: 6'8" [ 7'2" with horns ]

♤ Piercings / body mods: Two piercings on each fin, no other piercings or tattoos.

♤ Features: Long, thick, wavy hair that drapes down to midthigh, often puts it up in a bun. Good posture, always has an unreadable expression.

♤ Quadrants:
   ♦ Empty
   ♥ Empty
   ♠ Empty
   ♣ Empty / Empty

u: what does sehun even do….

me: firstable… he is the main rapper dancer visual vocalist not to mention can speak mandarian AND white pussy secondable he has been nominated for 5 primetime emmys 2 oscars and won 3 golden globes all for his supporting role in blockbuster cinema Exo Next Door (2015) don’t even get me started! on how he carries exo on his back LITERALLY he is 7'2" and defies gravity every single day the length of his arms is equal to the wingspan of a bald eagle he quite literally birthed exo and yal have the nerve….