7 problems

you are not obligated to
  • be someone’s counselor and help them with all their problems if its bad for your mental health
  • be there for someone 24/7
  • remain friends with someone who emotionally drains you
  • maintain negative relationships because you’ve been close for so long, because you’re related, or anything else
  • do anything that makes you unhappy or puts your health at risk

killian jones & emma swan phone wallpaper (750x1334 // iphone 7 resolution)

please do not edit/steal/repost/take credit

People who grew up emotionally neglected tend to carry some false beliefs about emotions in relationships. (By Jonice Webb)

Here’s a good, but not exhaustive, sampling:

1. Sharing your feelings or troubles with others will make them feel burdened.

2. Sharing your feelings or troubles with others will chase them away.

3. If you let other people see how you feel, they will use it against you.

4. Sharing your feelings with others will make you look weak.

5. Letting others see your weaknesses puts you at a disadvantage.

6. It’s best not to fight if you want to have a good relationship.

7. Talking about a problem isn’t helpful. Only action solves a problem.

Fortunately, not one of these beliefs is true. In fact, they are each and every one dead wrong. (The only exception is if you share your feelings with another emotionally neglected person, who may not have any idea how to respond). When you grow up receiving consistent direct or indirect messages that you should keep your feelings to yourself, it is natural to assume that those feelings are burdensome and undesirable to others.
ENFPs of each Enneagram Type

Are you an ENFP and unsure of your enneagram type? Here’s an idea of what an ENFP of each type would look like.

*You’re likely to relate to more than one type. Your tritype is a combination of one type from the heart, head, and body centers, and your wing is the type located directly next to your core type that you identify with the most. If you’re really unsure, I’d start with finding one type from each center that you relate to the most, and go from there. 

Heart Types (2,3,4)

Type 2 - “I just want to be loved”: A type 2 ENFP engages their extroverted intuition to look for ways to be useful and helpful to those around them, specifically to the people they care about. They are generally warm, enthusiastic, and particularly kind and caring. ENFP 2s are especially drawn to being there for others emotionally rather than just physically. They’ll act as advocates for friends in crisis, and are exceptional at making people feel seen and understood. Their Fi values helpfulness, supportiveness, and making sure people know that they are loved. However, they can become so dependent on being “needed” that they may unintentionally become smothering at times. This ENFP may also become resentful and vindictive if they are left to feel unappreciated.

Type 3 - “I just want to be recognized”: A type 3 ENFP engages their dominant extroverted intuition to pursue new ideas and concepts that they hope will help them achieve success or recognition. They hold achievement as one of Fi’s deeply held values, which makes them motivated and ambitious. Their drive for success is fueled by a fear of being worthless or disappointing to those they care about. They often have a well-developed Te that they use to sort through all the possible paths to success that Ne brings to the table, and as a result are more focused and driven than the stereotypical ENFP. Though they are naturally quirky and creative, this ENFP is especially cognizant of their image, hoping to be seen as particularly attractive, successful, smart, and enviable by their peers.

Type 4 - “I just want to be different”: A type 4 ENFP accepts and takes pride in their natural quirkiness. They engage their extroverted intuition to explore possibilities, ideas, and concepts that are innovative, different, and own-able as uniquely theirs. They likely have a highly developed introverted feeling function (Fi), which makes this ENFP especially cognizant of their personal opinions, ideas, emotions, and tastes. At their best, they are particularly creative, artistic, and visionary, and appear to others as if they are truly and enviably comfortable with being themselves. They take pride in being different than others and, though they crave appreciation for their uniqueness, they actually enjoy being misunderstood. This ENFP is especially susceptible to “special snowflake” syndrome, which can result in a “nobody can possibly understand me” mentality or an inflated sense of self-importance.

Head Types (5,6,7)

Type 5 - “I just want to understand”: A type 5 ENFP is defined by their exceptional curiosity and inventiveness. These talents are driven by their dominant extroverted intuition, which leads them to become absorbed in countless theoretical possibilities, ideas, and concepts. They are somewhat more withdrawn than the stereotypical ENFP, preoccupied with a restless desire to “figure things (or people) out”. Their Fi values intellectual capability and competence. They often have well-developed Te, which they use to understand, categorize, and streamline their understanding of the world. They’re likely to want to contribute something original and innovative to society. They’re often treasure troves of random knowledge and facts, which they’ve collected in the hopes that being knowledgeable will help prepare to deal with the world around them. On the flip side, this ENFP may be prone to know-it-all-ism as well as an unproductive tendency to ignore their emotions and insecurities, which often lie closer to the surface than they’d like.

Type 6 - “I just want to be reassured”: A type 6 ENFP is particularly loyal to both their friends and their beliefs. This loyalty, which manifests as stubbornly sticking to their Fi values, or being there for friends or loved-ones unconditionally, stems out of a fear of being unsupported. Once they’ve established that something is safe and secure, they’d rather not let go of it. These ENFPs are aware of and nervous about the impracticality and emotional nature of their Ne and Fi, and therefore worry that they cannot take care of themselves on their own. Generally, they are less spontaneous or reckless than the stereotypical ENFP, because they prefer to establish security before embarking in ambiguous territory. For this reason, they prefer to use Ne to explore various potential outcomes in addition to interesting hypothetical concepts. At their best, they’re fascinating hybrids of creativity and stability, standing by their beliefs and loved ones with intense passion. At their worst, they can be chronically anxious and prone to Si grips.

Type 7 - “I just want to enjoy life”: A type 7 ENFP represents the full embodiment of dominant extroverted intuition:  innovative, optimistic, curious, exploratory and restless in the pursuit of possibilities. They see life as an endless sea of exciting opportunities, ideas, concepts, theories, and experiences to explore. They are typically enthusiastic, versatile, and action-oriented, with a fun-loving attitude and a relentless appetite for life. They are particularly passionate about ideas that excite them, and though they are prone to starting more projects than they can possibly finish, they can also be intensely focused on something for hours as long as it captivates their interest. This ENFP is passionate and sensitive, but also has a tendency to distract themselves from their emotions or problems instead of dealing with them head on. At their worst, they can be scattered, unreliable, avoidant, inattentive, leaving messes for others to clean up in their wake.

 Body Types (8,9,1)

Type 8 - “I just want to be in control”: A type 8 ENFP is highly individualistic and loathes being controlled. Their dominant Ne leads them on an endless quest to pursue possibilities and interests, and they will stop at nothing to ensure that they can do so as they please. This ENFP believes strongly in their Fi values, which they respect much more than traditional authority. Therefore, if this ENFP believes something is right or true, then they will act accordingly no matter what anyone else has to say. They can be incredible leaders, inspiring others through their originality, charm, confidence, and go-getter attitude. They’re assertive and straight talking, yet also highly emotional, and often have an underlying layer of anger simmering beneath the surface. Though they often excel at understanding people and giving them straightforward advice, they hate feeling vulnerable, and in true Fi fashion are uncomfortable talking about their feelings with others. If left unchecked, this ENFP can be vulnerable to outbursts of anger as well as a pushy, domineering attitude.

Type 9 - “I just want to have peace of mind”: A type 9 ENFP is particularly peaceful, agreeable and go-with-the-flow. They’re generally calm and optimistic, preferring a “positive outlook” mindset to dwelling on negative possibilities. It’s very important to this ENFP to feel connected to and understood by other people. Their patience and insight about people makes them exceptional advice givers. They use their Ne to explore possibilities and concepts that interest them (especially those related to people), but are blocked from the “go-getting” mindset of Ne by the fear of creating friction or conflict with others that could disturb their peace of mind. This ENFP instead focuses their energy on “merging” with others, taking on their friends problems as their own instead of developing a strong sense of ambition or self. They deal with anger by numbing out their emotions, which prompts them into wondering whether the strong emotions they do feel are even real at all. At their worst, this ENFP can be painfully unassertive, lazy, or asleep to their own desires or goals.  

Type 1 - “I just want to do what’s right”: A type 1 ENFP constantly searches for new, innovative methods of improvement for both themselves and others. Their dominant Ne is restless in its quest for rightness and betterment. This ENFP has a highly developed introverted feeling function (Fi), which makes them rigidly adhere to what they personally believe is moral, good, or “right”, which can result in “moral perfectionism”. This ENFP may feel particularly drawn to social justice causes, believing that it is their duty or responsibility to be the change they want to see in the world. If their Te is well developed, this ENFP can be quite forceful and persistent in enforcing their ethical standards. If their Te is underdeveloped, this fear of imperfection can be paralyzing. At their worst, they can be up on a high horse and critical of those around them. 

Kpop Problem #6

When you’re listening to your favorite song but remember your bias is going to have to do his mandatory military service at some point

Originally posted by byunpum

Theory 1: series 4 is in sherlock head

Theory 2: the final problem all in John’s

Theory 3: Everyone John and Sherlock know hired Derren Brown to fuck ‘em up and admit they love each other. Everything from like HLV onwards has been an elaborate set up. Mary’s fine/not an assassin. Magnussen was an actor. There was no Victor Trevor, they really did just have a dog, Eurus is an actress. Sherrinford was a set.