Me: Bitch you missed it! Emily, Alison, and Paige are all working at the school, Idk where the hell lil Sabrina went but anyways bitch, Alison’s back on her same old high school bullshit acting like she didn’t have her tongue down Emily’s throat all cuddled up sleeping with her on the couch and shit, Paige is acting like she’s over Emily and trying to be lowkey and shit. So they had a meeting and bitch Alison WENT IN on Paige the second she said “Emily and I…” and bitch Paige wasn’t backing down but she wasn’t landing as hard as Ali so then Emily had to step in like stop fighting over me in school again! Then Emison broke up their non-relationship AGAIN bitch, and Paige tried to talk some sense into Emily for always falling face first into Alison’s lap… I mean trap, how she’s always “the victim” and Em’s always being “Captain Save-a-Hoe”.
My friend: But like, what happened with the rest of the show? What about A.D.? And all the shit that’s been going on? Who’s alive, who’s dead???
Me: Bitch I don’t know!! I was too busy trying to keep up with Em’s love triangle!