64 spiders

On Spider Houses and Greed within The Legend of Zelda

​“If you lift the curse … I’ll teach you … something good … Hurry … Please … This is awful … In here … The gold ones … The cursed spiders … Defeat them all … Make me normal … again … .”

- The Cursed Man, Majora’s Mask

“Human desire is an insatiable,
fearsome thing … even to a demon!
But then again, I suppose it’s also
what makes your kind so intriguing … .”

​- Batreaux, Skyward Sword

Above: The Cursed Man of the Fearful Spider House

Introduction

For me, and perhaps many readers, one of the most powerful images from The Legend of Zelda retained by memory is that of the House of Skulltula in Ocarina of Time’s Kakariko Village. Nestled in the midst of the most ostensibly peaceful location in Hyrule is an unassuming grey house, which, as we learn from the townsfolk, has a dark history and a necessary moral lesson. An elderly villager in Kakariko gives us this history: “Folks around here tell of a fabulously rich family that once lived in one of the houses in this village … But they say that the entire family was cursed due to their greed! Who knows what might happen to those who are consumed by greed.” [1] This tale is corroborated by the cursed father within the House of Skulltula, who tells Link of the curse on his family. Avarice fed his unquenchable desires, and before long, such vice led to the Curse of the Spider, here represented by Gold Skulltulas – themselves a perceptible symbol of greed. In order to dispel the spider’s curse, Link must destroy Gold Skulltulas the world over, collecting them as he goes; and in doing this, he also destroys a visible manifestation of greed and selfishness in Hyrule. [2]

Oft talked about, but little understood, the Spider Houses inhabiting both Hyrule and Termina hold a subtle fascination commonly overshadowed by rising plot, climax, and resolution. Spider Houses do not play pivotal roles in furthering the story, but they often augment small side-chapters parallel to the larger story with parables, morals, and mysteries. They also sound a clarion call against avarice, warning of greed’s corrupting influence on the face of the human soul.

As true in all societies and all places, the Curse of the Spider can take root in any human being, so it should be unsurprising that we also find people consumed with, and transformed by, greed within the parallel realm of Termina.

Keep reading

If any of you forgot the rules of the internet:

1. Do not talk about /b/ 
2. Do NOT talk about /b/ 
3. We are Anonymous. 
4. Anonymous is legion. 
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget. 
6. Anonymous can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monster. 
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver. 
8. There are no real rules about posting. 
9. There are no real rules about moderation either — enjoy your ban. 
10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON’T. 
11. You must have pictures to prove your statement. 
12. Lurk moar — it’s never enough. 
13. Nothing is Sacred. 
14. Do not argue with a troll — it means that they win. 
15. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it. 
16. There are NO girls on the internet. 
17. A cat is fine too. 
18. One cat leads to another. 
19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets. 
20. It is delicious cake. You must eat it. 
21. It is delicious trap. You must hit it. 
22. /b/ sucks today. 
23. Cock goes in here. 
24. You will never have sex. 
25. ???? 
26. PROFIT! 
27. It needs more Desu. No exceptions. 
28. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw. 
29. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so). 
30. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky 
31. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL. 
32. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER. 
33. Desu isn’t funny. Seriously guys. It’s worse than Chuck Norris jokes. 
34. There is porn of it. No exceptions. 
35. If no porn is found of it, it will be created. 
36. No matter what it is, it is somebody’s fetish. No exceptions. 
37. Even one positive comment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo. 
38. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car 
39. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions. 
40. The pool is always closed due to AIDS (and stingrays, which also have AIDS). 
41. If there isn’t enough just ask for Moar. 
42. Everything has been cracked and pirated. 
43. DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS 
44. The internet is not your personal army. 
45. Rule 45 is a lie. 
46. The cake is a lie. 
47. If you post it, they will cum. 
48. It will always need moar sauce. 
49. The internet makes you stupid. 
50. Anything can be a meme. 
51. Longcat is looooooooooong. 
52. If something goes wrong, Ebaums did it. 
53. Anonymous is a virgin by default. 
54. Moot has cat ears, even in real life. No exceptions. 
55. CP is awwwright, but DSFARGEG will get you b&. 
56. Don’t mess with football. 
57. MrSpooky has never seen so many ingrates. 
58. Anonymous does not “buy”, he downloads. 
59. The term “sage” does not refer to the spice. 
60. If you say Candlejack, you w 
61. You cannot divide by zero. 
62. The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. 
63. If you do not believe it, then it must be habeebed for great justice. 
64. Not even Spider-Man knows how to shot web. 
65. Mitchell Henderson was an hero to us all. 
66. This is not lupus, it’s SPARTAAAAAAAAAA. 
67. One does not simply shoop da whoop into Mordor. 
68. Katy is bi, so deal w/it. 
69. LOL SIXTY NINE AMIRITE? 
70. Also, cocks. 
71. This is a showdown, a throwdown, hell no I can’t slow down, it’s gonna go. 
72. Anonymous did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar|? 
73. If you express astonishment at someone’s claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse. 
74. If it hadn’t been for Cotton Eyed Joe, Anonymous would have been married a long time ago. 
75. Around Snacks, CP is lax. 
76. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND. 
77. Hal Turner definitely needs to gb2/hell/. 
78. Mods are fucking fags. No exceptions. 
79. All Caturday threads will be bombarded with Zippocat. No exceptions. 
80. No matter how cute it is, it probably skullfucked your mother last night. 
81. That’s not mud. 
82. Steve Irwin’s death is really, really funny. 
83. The Internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. 
84. Rule 87 is true. 
85. Yes, it is some chickens. 
86. Bobba bobba is bobba. 
87. Rule 84 is false. OH SHI- 
88. If your statement is preceded by “HAY GUYZ”, then you are not doing it right. 
89. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code. 
90. Anonymous still owes Hal Turner one trillion U.S. dollars. 
91. Spengbab Sqarpaint is luv Padtwick Zhstar iz fwend. 
92. Disregard Bigmike, he sucks cocks. 
93. Secure tripcodes are for jerks. 
94. If someone herd u liek Mudkips, deny it constantly for the lulz.
95. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay. 
96. I am a huge faggot. Please rape my face. 
97. Shit sucks and will never be stickied. 
98. Bricks must are required to be shat whenever Anonymous is surprised. 
99. If you have no bricks to shit, you are made of fail and AIDS. 
100. ZOMG NONE

what is going on where did the super mario 64 spider come from and why are people tagging themselves as a variety of colorful animals with personalities?