60s eyeglasses

Subject 36: Courtney, “30-ish”

Listen, Courtney. When it comes to age, I’m a full subscriber to the Aaliyah Theory. (RIP) But I can’t help think you’re 30-ish, going on 60. Eyeglasses. Sensible automobiles. Sleeping face. And the emoji equivalent of Ben Stein reading a Terms of Service Agreement: Airplane seat. We’ve got to liven things up, girlfriend. No, put the Mahjong down. Ugh.

Diagnostic emoji: Older woman
Prescribed emoji: Nail polish, Lipstick, Cocktail glass, Dance (GIRLS’ NIGHT!!!)