600 notes

anonymous asked:

Where are you coming from. I want to know. (Nice blog btw, it makes me feel alive)

oh god this is just gonna be me being pathetic for a couple of paragraphs im sorry dude (also thank u so much?? ily??)

ah its just that like, when you post prompts as often as i do, you hit and you miss, so some of them get popular and other ones dont, and thats just how it goes. so i’m not bothered if a post i put out there doesn’t get too many notes (which, you know, this is gonna sound so bad, but for me a popular prompt gets like 600, 700+ notes). but i feel like the last 5 prompts i posted have ALL flopped (as in, only gotten like 200-500 notes). and i KNOW its not bad, thats a whole lot of notes, but idk?? i feel like i should’ve posted SOMETHING by now that really got popular, you know?

like i havent posted one that actually did well since….christmas? i think? so i think i either peaked during 7DoC or i’m just not as writing as well as i used to, or something’s off, and i feel like if thats not the content you guys want me to make anymore, or if im not making it as well as i used to, then u should just tell me. 

and like. this is gonna sound awful and i swear to god that its just my anxiety warping things, but i’ve noticed a lot of blogs are starting to get prompts now, or writing hcs/fics more regularly and like. there’s just a little nugget inside me that’s like oh maybe everyone likes them now instead of you and like if thats whats going on im not bothered, im not jealous, thats just how popularity and relevancy works: you’re the Guy one day and then someone else is the next. but that’s just me being pathetic, honestly the more people who write and create good content the better!! you know!!

yeah this is all just probably my anxiety. im probably good. but like. i’ve never gotten so popular so quickly, bear in mind that its only been a couple of months while some people have been with their blogs for YEARS, and suddenly i’m getting all these nice messages and people think im cool and want to be friends with me and all that - and i’ve gotten NO hate anons, unlike other popular blogs who must get them from time to time - so there’s something inside of me thats resisting to that and being like yeah no one ACTUALLY likes you and you should just let them know that its OK to not like you.

yeah ok im probably gonna delete this but just to answer ur question, thats sort of where my insecurity is coming from. today, anyways.

Adore You

Tom Holland x Reader
Prompt : “ Can u do like “pillow talk” but instead of Harrison can it be Tom, not exactly like the story but similar?😬☺️” by anon
Words: 600
Notes : Well, it’s very different from pillow talk but it happens in the same context. Hope you enjoy it!

Originally posted by captainamericacivilwhore

Tom was playing basketball with Harrison while you were inside. You petted Tess and she licked your hand, making you laugh. You headed to look the boys playing and noticed that only Harrison was there, you tried to look over for Tom, until you felt strong arms surround your waist.

“Looking for me, angel?” He whispered into your ear, making you shiver. You looked at his beautiful face and melted into his smile.

“Maybe.” He lifted his eyebrows and a smirk formed into his lips.

“Oh, maybe?” He came closer to you, while you step forward. “Are you sure, miss Y/N?” You laughed and tried to run and escape from his hands but was inevitable.

He caught you and leaded you to the couch, passing through his dog looking at you with wide eyes. His hands were on your belly, tickling and almost making you laugh your heart out of your chest. He leaned above you and stopped to look at your face. His eyes scanning yours and a gentle and lovely smile appearing into his lips.

“You know I adore you, don’t you, angel?” You blinked, your heart still racing everytime he said something, principally when he called you angel. You smirked.

“Maybe, but what about you reminding me?” He grinned, the view making your heart fill with joy and love.

“I adore you.” He whispered and kissed your cheek. “I adore you.” And his lips touched your nose and you laughed. “I adore you.” His mouth kissing your forehead. “I adore you, Y/N.” He stared you for a while and, finally, kissed your lips.

Even though having his lips against yours wasn’t new, it felt like the first time. Your heart started to beat so fast, you were afraid Harrison outside could hear it. Your eyes closed instantly while your hands started to play with his hair. By the other hand, he gripped your hips, gentle but at the same time determinated, expressing you were his.

He broke the kiss and started a trail of sloppy kisses, starting from your neck, passing trough your, fast breathing, chest and finishing at your belly. He looked at you and smiled brightly, the smile he only gave to you and made you feel the most special person ever and cuddled with you.

Some minutes passed by and the sensation of being on his arms was, indescribably, good. Only for a second later, it be finished while Harrison took Tom on his shoulders and left him at the pool. You stood on your feet and tried to hide from him, that came inside again laughing.

“Oh, don’t try to go away, angel.” He emphasized, smirking at Tom’s nickname. “Do you think you two can start being romantic in front of me without warning? I can have diabetes with all this sugar.”

You laughed and started running but it was effortless. He caught you and, even though, you tried to ask him to put you on the ground, he just laughed in a tone he thought it was evil. And threw you at the pool too.

You emerged and looked at Tom while a little bit of water running off your face. He approached you and touched your wet visage, he smiled gentle and leaned over to kiss you. In the background, you could hear Harrison’s complaint about you two giving him a heart disease because you were so cheesy. But you didn’t mind at his jokes, because you knew he liked you two together. Because anyone could see how much you two adored each other.

BTS reaction to you leaving hickeys before their photoshoot

I’M BACK as my work here after I’m back I guess this might end up pretty lame, my apologizes I received a lot of requests so I plan to do another one tomorrow and post at least one a week, thank you for support! My one post reached 600 notes!!!

Staff: Is it a bug bite?
Seokjin: *stares at the mirror. Sees the mark. Can’t even say a word*

Jungkook: Why do you look like this? Don’t you need your jacket off?
Yoongi: It’s a long story, child, you’re too young for answers

Hoseok: *doesn’t say a word why he’s acting like this*

Jin: What’s that?
Namjoon: *giggles*

Jhope: Why you keep staring at mirror?
Jimin: It’s nothing~ *walks away like this*

Taehyung: *shows off his hickey* This is where the most beautiful bug has stung

*Jin pulls his sleeve down by accident*
Jungkook: *startles is over conscious of everything*

10

→ Trust Jack

→ Trust Fiona

Touch Me
  • Touch Me
  • Spring Awakening (OBC/ASL)
  • Spring Awakening
Play

*Needs headphones*

Left: OBC (from the recording from before they went to broadway hence the difference in lyrics)

Right: ASL Revival

Same as last time, some parts sound a bit cut off because of the different speeds they go at, I tried to make it sound as smooth as I could though.

Next up is either All That’s Known or Totally Fucked.

Previous: Bitch of Living

Alright, this needs to be fucking said, because I have fucking HAD it

You might have seen this gifset going around that depicts John Oliver during his D.C. Statehood segment where he’s talking about the pandas in D.C. not mating, with a picture of Rey and Kylo Ren’s lightsaber duel taking up the graphics box that originally showed the pandas. It got over 600 notes in the first 48 hours. It is to date my second most popular post on tumblr. It was my first attempt at a gif edit, something I’d been wanting to try for a long time, and it felt good to see it become so popular. It felt good, because for the first time in a long time, I was able to create something. And it felt good because I was able to do something that I’ve never done before.

I have been dealing with a whole mess of problems. I lost someone important to me two years ago at probably one of the worst times to lose a person, and it took about a year and a half to realize the grief had given way to actual depression. I felt like my life shattered when I realized that, because people tell me they love what a bright, happy person I am, and suddenly I realize I’m no longer that person. I haven’t been for two years now and I’m just now realizing why. This is all happening within a week of moving into an apartment and living on my own for the first time, and transition is something I’ve never been able to deal with well, so going through that plus seeking out help for my depression when I’m three hours away from any decent support system was incredibly difficult for me.

My problems didn’t stop there. I went to an anime convention the weekend before moving in, and while I was there I lost my car keys, so my mom had to drive two and a half hours down to bring me the second set, which made me feel like an absolute failure. About three weeks later was when disaster really struck. I was driving to my apartment and accidentally hit a pedestrian. I wasn’t going fast, and the girl seemed like she wasn’t injured, but the whole time I was freaking out. For the first time in my life I was in a position where I could’ve killed someone, and I shut down. That was the beginning of my suicidal thoughts. I was never suicidal before that. My therapist figured I had developed PTSD from the accident, so she sent me to a specialist. Despite therapy, despite the specialist, my depression only got worse. My PTSD is a lot more manageable now, but the depression keeps getting worse. 

I missed a lot of classes this semester. There were so many days that it was difficult to get out of bed. I’m also an art major, so my homework isn’t just figuring out problems or doing research-based assignments. I have to be able to conceptualize and create my assignments from scratch. I haven’t been able to do that. It kept getting harder as the semester went on. I’m a creative major who feels shut off from her creativity. That’s not good. Any time I would get an idea for something I would lose it halfway through a sketch, and I’d feel like an even bigger failure than before. So, i was missing classes, my assignments were completely lackluster, and I was feeling like a failure the whole time, as my depression kept getting worse. It was a positive feedback loop of misery. 

Last spring, I had to stay up late to get a lot of my assignments done, and while I did that, I was usually marathoning John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight. He’s entertaining, speaks from a viewpoint I agree with, and he covered a lot of interesting topics. I was able to learn about real-world issues as I was doing my assignments. Many times when I stayed home from classes this semester I found myself watching Last Week Tonight. It’s not often I marathon Last Week Tonight, after catching up on all the segments I missed I only watched a new segment when it came out. It wasn’t until this past Saturday that I was able to realize why I marathon Last Week Tonight only on those days I missed and when I’m pulling all-nighters: marathoning Last Week Tonight is what I do when I laboring through something difficult. My own existence has become something difficult. My own life is an unpleasant burden. I’ve become so depressed and so miserable and so pathetic that I’ve started treating my waking moments the way I treat an all-nighter. Imagine hitting rock-bottom that hard.

My suicidal thoughts have come and gone in waves, but they’ve become more persistent ever since I realized that I’m going to fail this semester. I’ve tried drawing something, anything, but I can’t create. I have no motivation to do anything except go to my job since I at least need the money to get myself home and hopefully be able to go to a convention in January to see my friends. I haven’t felt the desire to create anything in a long time. I can get a few ideas here and there, but when I do, there’s no motivation. Well, on another bad day a few weeks ago, I was marathoning Last Week Tonight, and the D.C. Statehood episode came up, and when I heard John Oliver say “We need them fucking. And we need them to fuck a lot!” All I could think was, Hey! That’s the Reylo fandom! That idea actually stuck with me for weeks. I downloaded a gif making program, giffed the clips I needed, put in a graphic of Rey and Kylo Ren, and lo and behold, I had created something! That was legitimately exciting for me, because while I am in no way better than I was before, I was able to create something despite my problems! And over 600 notes! Given the number of likes and reblogs combined, that’s probably at least 500 people I’ve been able to reach, at least five hundred people I’ve been able to amuse, and I was able to do that despite my depression, despite my suicidal thoughts, despite feeling like a failure. Five. Hundred. People.

Apparently I’m not allowed to enjoy things.

I made this post in response to a post I saw in the Reylo tag. The OP and I have each other blocked now, but I had to admit I was curious to know what they were saying about me, and when I saw what was on their blog, I was fucking livid.

Okay, @johnoliverphotos, where do we fucking start? How about, “I don’t care about The Force Awakens”. Then why the hell are you making anti-Reylo posts, crosstagging them, and putting my URL in them? Also, what do you know of the relationship? What do you know of the people who ship them? What do you know of abuse, something I’ve actually been a victim of? 

Another thing, I never said John Oliver would be for an abusive relationship. I never even said he would be for Reylo. I put a graphic on a gif and called you out for attacking me over it. Here’s my response.

NO WHERE did I say that John Oliver would support anything. I only stated the obvious: He probably could not give one shit less about shipping or the Star Wars fandom. He has his own life to live. He has a wife, he’s a soccer fan, and he has a career. His show is pretty damn popular, which is why people make posts of and about it. I made a post using clips from his show so I could entertain a shipping fandom, one that I really love being a part of. I could’ve made it for Royai (actually I’ve thought about making it for Royai), GrayLu, Lucelyn, or Victuuri. It’s a joke that could work for literally almost any pairing, and people would still get a kick out of it. I could’ve made it for Kylux, Finnrey, or Stormpilot and not have gotten treated like garbage over it. So why am I treated like garbage because I made it for Reylo?

There’s an obvious problem with the Star Wars fandom on tumblr. Clearly it’s not just polarizing people within the Star Wars fandom.

Because there have been other incidents of people not even involved in the Star Wars fandoms giving me shit because I ship Reylo. It’s not right. Here’s this wildly out-of-left-field concept: REYLO SHIPPERS ARE HUMAN BEINGS. We deserve to be listened to. We deserve to be heard. We deserve to be treated with the respect you’d treat anyone else with. We’re not suddenly less than human because we choose to ship Reylo. We’re real-life people dealing with real-life problems who are able to find enjoyment in shipping Rey and Kylo Ren. We have a wide variety of reasons not only for shipping Reylo but also for thinking it might become canon, and if we honestly think it might become canon, why shouldn’t we ship it? A lot of us come from groups that antis think they’re protecting. I’m bisexual, mentally ill, and an abuse victim. I find it incredibly biphobic when an anti asserts that Rey is a lesbian just so she can’t be with a man, it’s ableist as fuck when an anti tells a Reylo shipper that their coping method is unhealthy (especially since shipping Reylo has actually helped me cope with despression), and the tactics that antis employ are nearly identical to how my ex-boyfriend emotionally abused me. Antis have made every part of the Star Wars fandom except the Reylo fandom feel unsafe for me. I shouldn’t feel unsafe, I shouldn’t have to deal with people who act like they want my head on a pike every time I get on tumblr. Navigating this website when you’re a Reylo shipper often can feel like you’re walking with a sprained ankle on a tightrope suspended over lava. It can be a fucking nightmare sometimes.

All this really boils down to is, remember that there are people behind these screens. I’ve been stalked and harassed by antis before. I’ve even been harassed by one whom I directly told I was dealing with suicidal thoughts at the time they were harassing me! It seems like antis especially have this nasty habit of treating Reylo shippers like they’re not human, and this kind of attitude is pervading other parts of tumblr, so that an innocent joke that uses media outside of Star Wars suddenly opens up the OP to harassment, attacks, and defamation. I’ve had my anxiety spike because of this. I’m not mentally well, so stuff that I’m dealing with in one part of my life can affect how I’m feeling outside of it. I’m probably not the only one who has problems like this. It’s not fun. And antis are making it considerably worse and arguably more dangerous. They’re deliberately spreading lies about us, as you can see, and making it more acceptable for people who don’t know a damn thing about us to treat us the way antis treat us.

You never know what someone is going through. Keep that in mind the next time you think about pulling the same shit johnoliverphotos or literally any anti pulls. 

We deserve better.