• My friend: soooo what are you looking for in a guy?
  • Me: kind. sweet. approximately 6'2". ginger. messy hair. wears bow ties and a blue coat. no one can ever figure out THE FUCK his eye color is. has to have solid cheek bones just saying. also jawline. freckles are a thing. wizard. Hufflepuff™. author. magizoologist. is actually Newt Scamander.

Brb I’m calculating how smol Yuuri is against Victor on skates. If Yuuri is 5'8, daddy nikiforov is 5'11, and blades are about 3,14 inches; then he’s now ~6'2 or around 185cm WOW almost the height of NBA players

Also sweetener:

Victor : Our baby will be a great skating star and we’ll be so proud! Oh and imagine that he’s blessed by being born with skates!

Yuuri : Victor. Victor, that’ll haunt me to my nightmares.

Victor : The world will be surprised! First child in history to be born with knife shoes!

Yuuri : …

Victor : Yuuri, why are you silent?

Yuuri : .. I was just thinking

            History sounds like a good name, right?

Okay, random idea...

A story where humans are really weird for liking other alien species. Not like in a cross-species romance sort of thing (though that too), it’s just that we legitimately find every other race in the universe cute and they have no idea how to deal with it. Like, some aliens are coming in for a delegation, and they are scaley motherf***ers with claws, teeth and everything, and they start to apologize for their appearance (because most other species they encounter are freaked out by them) and then one of the human interns starts squealing because there’s a baby dinosaur hiding behind his mommy (because mommy’s scarier so he feels safer).

Like, we as a species have an incredible fascination with other species’s children and how cute they are. Like these people understand wanting to eat smaller things because they look tasty but they have never encountered nutjobs who want to cradle the little guys with hedgehog spines on them. They have no frame of reference for our obsession with alien children.

They’re like “uh, are you alright?” “Oh my gosh they’re so cute!!!” “I was…unaware that humans had external eggs…” “oh, we don’t, but oh my gosh they’re so cute I can feel their little legs kicking!” “Okay…”

And of course, once earth realizes that some other species have overpopulation problems, almost immediately someone proposes an interspecies adoption program which is approved with near unanimous approval by Earth-gov which kind of freaks out everyone else because literally nobody had even considered it (and despite the fact that humans are one of the most colonization obsessive peoples because they have their own overpopulation problems). Not because they opposed it morally, but because some of these guys breath pure nitrogen, and others exude cyanide from their pores so they don’t think we’ll handle it well. But they figure, why not, and they start it, but earthlings are the only ones who actually receive children because everyone else is a little too wary of adult earthlings to deal with their offspring.

That’s how earth becomes just inundated with tons of species of aliens and every visitor to earth is just astounded by the diversity. Like, a human couple is just walking around with a 6'2 Karalaxian named Bob who they keep refusing to get ice cream because he misbehaved in the store.

Terrifying Kobolds like a Fucking Five Year Old

Context: My character is a 6'2, 171 pound half-dragon, half-drow bloodrager.  Because of a feat, high Charisma, and an added rank, she gets a +11 to Intimidate checks and she’s the only member of the party who speaks Draconic, and we’re entering a dungeon full of kobolds, which she’s very familiar with.  Here are the three times I decided to roll Intimidate checks.

1. Our Rogue failed her stealth check and a kobold noticed her

Me (ooc): Am I close enough to terrify him?

GM: You are.

-rolls a 24-

GM: Ok, everyone, you hear December start speaking in a loud, growling language.


-the kobold immediately walks over to the bookshelf and stares at it-

Our Oracle NPC: What the fuck just happened?

2. There’s a kobold guarding the entrance to the dungeon

Me (ooc): I’m gonna intimidate it.

-rolls a 16-

GM: You step into the room.

Bloodrager: Stand aside.

-the kobold blinks and steps off to the side so we can enter-

Rogue (ooc): How in the fuck.

3. There’s a mass of kobolds who just saw the bloodrager after failing a stealth check.

GM: What are you gonna do?

Me (ooc): I’m gonna scare the shit out of them.

-rolls a 30-

Bloodrager: -steps out from behind the corner and cracks her knuckles with a grin- Are we gonna do this the messy way or are y'all just gonna go sit in that corner over there?

-the kobolds all scurry into the corner and hide behind their shields-

GM: I wanna know how you’re making all these rolls.

Me (ooc): She has a +11 to Intimidate checks.

GM: Does she have the feat that adds her Strength modifier? (this character has a Strength mod of 4 and a Charisma mod of 3)

Me (ooc): Yeah.

GM: Of course she does.

My mom, who hates lazytown with a burning passion, stated with anger that Sportacus is a top. She was yelling about it for a good 20 minutes about how Robbie is too flamboyant and lazy to top. I told her “well some people think Robbie is top because Sportacus is 5'9” and Robbie is 6'2"“ and she looked me in the eyes and said “if he bends over he’s 3'1”“ This is information from someone who doesn’t watch lazytown. Open your eyes, people.

when you think of “the batman voice”, you imagine a gruff, super manly growl that makes people shake in their boots but what if

what if

the batman voice?

was a really smooth, melodic one

coming out of a 6'2″ sans the bat ears buffallo towering over you and asking you about your boss’s money trail. what would you do then

Dating Bruce Wayne Would Include

(Btw I am using the Batman v Superman Bruce Wayne, y’all)

  • Not being entirely sure as to how it all even happened
    • On the off-chance that you’re one of Gotham’s minimal elite, you probably met Bruce at a charity gala and, for some reason beyond your comprehension, he picked you out of the other well-dressed women
    • In the higher likelihood that you don’t come from an affluent family, there’s a multitude of possibilities as to where you met: Maybe you were at a gala working as part of the catering company and he accidentally spilled red wine on you. Maybe you worked as an intern or temp or had a desk job somewhere in the Wayne Enterprise building in Gotham. Or maybe he just saw some assholes giving you a rough time and he stepped in and then offered to walk you home.

Keep reading


Goryeo’s Best Dressed: 13th Prince, Baek Ah


Y'all may know me from posting all of the doggos from Annie’s Ruff House (doggy daycare and boarding studio). We also are a non-profit rescue (Annie’s Rescue Foundation). On Tuesday evening, my fiancé and I went to the store that is close by (we live in the country, so there is mainly one gas station within reasonable range) to get something to drink.
While at the store, I spotted a stray lab x and tried to get her attention. My fiancé informed me that was the “store dog” and she would not come to anyone, and to not even try. Me being me, though, I hop out of my car in my cow slippers and kneel down to try to get this girl to come to me. She is VERY scared of people. I got her close enough to sniff me, until an asshole decided to scare her away from me and she bolted away from the store. I was upset, but then something took me by surprise…. This little Chihuahua mix came up from behind me, sat in front of me, looked up at me, and suddenly started giving me a bath of licks and love. I put her in my car to make sure no one near by owned her (there is one house directly behind the convenient store. I knock on this man’s door, and after motioning to me to “hold on” as he told his other (LARGE, and loud lol) dogs to lay down, he opened to door. I asked him if she was his dog or had any idea who’s dog it was, and that’s when he informed me of a horrific ending for this sweet girl.
With this man’s voice SHAKING (and mind you, he was about 6'2 and a large, bulky, “intimidating” man) with anger and frustration, he told me: “She was dumped out here. A man drove down my street, threw her out of the car, bent down and acted like he was going to pick her up, and proceeded to scream at her until she was far enough away to speed off and leave her behind.
This man had been the only one feeding her and she was not sticking around just that area. I also initially thought that he meant this occurrence had happened somewhat recently; I was wrong. This horrible person dumped this dog in the MIDDLE OF WINTER. THIS HELPLESS ANIMAL. I am so surprised she survived the weather, coyotes, busy roads, etc. I tried contacting my boss (who is the owner of Annie’s) but she was in a meeting. My coworker offered to take her for the night since Annie’s was already closed at this time.
My fiancé and I had been putting in adoption applications for a few doggos, but our dog found us. We decided to name her Lizzi Maguire, because we found her off of Maguire Road.
We love her with every ounce of our souls and she is so forgiving for what she has been through. I just wanted to share a personal story with a happy ending. :) - Taylor

anonymous asked:

Bless our midday manager. A man threatened to 'beat the shit' out of one of our courtesy clerks because he talks slow and 'he doesn't like it when people talk like retards'. Manager turned into a goddamn attack dog when she heard it; got up in his face, kicked him out, banned him for life, and she's like 5'2 and this asshole was bigger than our courtesy clerk who's 6'2. She got us all together and said if anybody says anything like that to us to come get her asap and we'll never see them again

We need to clone her and put one in each and every single store in the world. Science side of tumblr, get to work. -Abby