You Gotta Work Bitch: The Key to Sugar Baby Success
This may be something that I am writing a little too early as he hasn’t given me my allowance yet and I haven’t even met the other guy for our first date. In fact, I am writing this too early. I am too optimistic and cannot stop myself from speaking. I think I have found the secret to sugar baby success and it is the one thing that is said so quietly that despite its frequency you can still miss it. Drudgery. Sugar baby success does not go to the woman who hits it big on the first date or second date. While those women exist, their initial good fortune is not based on skill but on luck and finding themselves in the Apple store with the right man. No, true and consistent success goes to the woman who is willing to do the same boring and tedious thing over and over until it brings them success. It goes to the woman who is willing to do the same thing over and over to keep a man she would in any other situation ignore.
There is a meme floating around Tumblr and Twitter that illustrates what I mean. Outsiders, daddies, and haters alike all think that we spend our day shopping, having orgies, or sipping champagne. The truth is that for most of us that isn’t our life at all is it? Sure, those are brief moments barring the orgies. But I’ve found that I spend more time on my phone texting, my iPad surfing through profiles, and my MacBook sending messages. I know I can send out ten messages a day and only get one response. I know I will give 10 men my number and at the end of the week no longer be in contact with any of them. I know I can spend an hour getting ready for a date and then know the man will cancel. I have introduced myself so many times I have to stop myself from rattling off my “about me” to my friends. But I can’t leave. I won’t stop.
Those are the sugar babies that win. The ones that know that disappointment isn’t a possibility but a definite and continual occurrence. They know that the path to success is boring and disappointing and you will spend more time wondering why you’re doing this and will it ever pay off. You’ll go on first date after first date. You’ll reject man after man and have men reject you. You’ll wonder if your hair was different, your weight was different, your race was different, your personality was different if you would have a daddy by now. But you can’t stop.
There will be days when you’ll wonder why you decided to join this lifestyle, why you decided that your life should revolve around the goodwill and the financial status of a man. There will be times that you’ll see your friends living their vanilla lives with their vanilla boyfriends and you’ll think the turmoil and the shots to your self esteem aren’t worth it.
And maybe they aren’t. Maybe those five days in Miami aren’t enough. Maybe the shoes won’t be enough. Maybe having your rent paid and your education paid in full is enough. Maybe knowing that you’re finally on the road to financial stability is enough. But if you want it, then you need to understand something said best by the great Britney Spears “You gotta work bitch”.
And the work doesn’t stop. I asked once if you should have one daddy or two. I have the answer now. You should have three or four or however many you can handle at one time because they can leave whenever they please. Or circumstance can take them from you. You’re never safe. Fortune’s wheel is never still. There is no job security. You cannot finally land the sugar daddy and think your work is done. You have to constantly remind him of why he wants you. Constantly seduce him. You have to have enough money to maintain yourself in case he leaves or another man that will help you maintain it. The job never ends. The work is never done.
I’m writing this for the same person I write all of my posts for: myself. I constantly forget how unglamorous this life is 75% of the time. I have spent more time eating frozen dinners purchased hurriedly from Trader Joe’s than I have eating in fine restaurants. I’ve spent more time online than I have in the mall. I know it’s tiring. I know I spend 4 days a week sending a variation of the same message. I know it’s boring. I know first dates fill me with anxiety. But I refuse to quit again. I could. It would be easy. I’ve done it twice before. This time I have goals. This time I’m out a job with no desire to return to corporate America. This time I’m bored out of my mind but I’ve still got seven more messages to send and I need to schedule two dates to go on next week. I know I need to keep up on current events so that I always have something to talk about at dinner and the conversation doesn’t get away from me. I know I need to work on my own craft and that I have to find the time to write, to paint. I know I need to make sure I’m in the gym 6 days a week (okay, 5 days) so that the idea of taking off my clothes in front of a man never makes me hesitate. I know I need to find time to do the things I love with the people that mean the most to me. I know I’ll succeed because I’m not afraid to keep pushing forward until I’ve finally accomplished my dreams. And when I forget, when I wonder if I’m just not good enough or pretty enough or smart enough, when I want to quit again- I’ll just read this.
Do you agree or disagree? Is the drudgery, the ability to consistently do the same thing in the face of opposition or failure, the secret to sugar baby success? If it isn’t then what is?