My boyfriend is a dumbass.
  • Tom: I'd love to see you in that while you're up on the stage.
  • Me: ...what stage?
  • Tom: When you're dancing that...*waves hands in air and snaps fingers*
  • Me: Hahahaha, what?
  • Tom: That thing, I don't know what it's called.
  • Me: Flamenco.
  • Tom: Yeah, flamingo.
  • Me: I did a thing *shows him my manicure*
  • Tom: You did your nails! And it's not pink.
  • Me: Nude. Well, it's a nude pink. Sooooo, the color of my vag when I was 12 years old.
  • Tom: I don't wanna think about your 12 year old vag.
  • Me: Why not!? That's when it was supple and tight.
  • Tom then dies of laughter.