the signs' breakup lines
  • Aries: I pooped in all of your drawers. Excelsior!
  • Taurus: You're an ambisexual twat.
  • Gemini: Lizards don't have vaginas!
  • Cancer: Your father is a black man by the name of Eduardo Jones.
  • Leo: The key to the treasure chest is in my COCK!
  • Virgo: If you were drowning I would save you. But then I'd slap you.
  • Libra: You're a harlot and Jezebel, and you should die!
  • Scorpio: *sings i'm every woman by chaka khan*
  • Sagittarius: I was faking it! Wait, I ejaculated several times.
  • Capricorn: I gave you Lou Gehrig's disease, through the power of suggestion!
  • Aquarius: He's gonna be very rude to you one day at a bar, and I'll laugh at both of you!
  • Pisces: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

scottstiles  asked:

OKAY HERE FINE HAVE ONE XD sciles + things you said in your sleep

Stiles has taken over Scott’s bed. 

Scott had left his bedroom for not more than twenty minutes to heat up some fries for both of them while they did homework-slash-went-on-Wikipedia-spirals, and by the time he comes back, Stiles is fast asleep, sprawled over the mattress in such a way that makes it impossible for Scott himself to get on.

“Food?” Scott says, leaning over and waving his piping hot tray of fries over the back of Stiles’ head. “I thought you said you were hungry.”

Stiles mumbles something incoherent. Scott pops a fry into his mouth, knowing he could very well eat the whole pile of fries himself. Plus the tray. He tries one last time to wake him up by gently shaking Stiles’ shoulder.

Stiles rolls over, eyelashes fluttering in sleep, but otherwise doesn’t move. Scott sighs and falls into his desk chair. “Don’t say I didn’t try.”

“Scotty. You’re gonna be late,” Stiles says.

Scott’s head whips up. “What?”

Stiles is still asleep, though. Sleep-talking. Stiles is prone to that, and well, Scott is prone to listening in, because it’s usually funny and something to use as ammunition against Stiles later. He has to lean in to hear the mumbled words. “You’re gonna be late to lacrosse practice. Thought you said you wanted to make the team this year.”

Scott’s lips tug up. “Dude. You’re a few years late.”

“I’m serious,” Stiles insists, sounding surprisingly lucid. “You have to make the team. But you suck.” He seems distressed about it. “Scott. We need to go practice. Otherwise Jackson is going to kick your ass.”

You suck,” Scott replies, almost affronted. “And Jackson’s not even here anymore, remember? I’m the team captain.”

Stiles sighs. “I just fucking want you to make the team.”

“Well, I made it,” Scott replies, amused, as he pops another fry into his mouth. “Thanks for the vote.”

Stiles mumbles some curse words before he rolls over, back onto his stomach and falls silent. Scott sits there feeling oddly touched. He’d always thought Stiles didn’t care if he made the lacrosse team or not; he’d been so flippant about it, back then.

Scott polishes off his fries and decides that for once, he’s going to keep this instance of sleep-talking to himself.

(just finishing the prompts from my 5(+) sentence fic celebration!)

anonymous asked:

"How long have you been standing there?"

Oliver’s leaning against their bedroom door, a lovesick look on his face as he gazes at her.

Still his deep blue eyes don’t meet hers, not even when she takes a hesitant step forward towards him; they are permanently fixed on the same thing she had just been obsessing over in front of the mirror before she noticed him standing there.

“How long?” This time it’s his question filling the air between them; tender, intimate, loving. 

When she’s finally within reach his hand rises to caress her stomach, flat and soft beneath his fingers now; her answer confirming it won’t be for long: two weeks.

Write a sentence of a story for me and I will give you the next five :)

anonymous asked:

"oh god please tell i didn't say that out loud, and if i did just lie to me"

“Oh you did,” Oliver chimes in as they make their way to the executive elevators after a board meeting from hell, even before she basically announced how far from strictly platonic her relationship with the CEO is.

It had just taken a polite ‘thank you for joining us’ from Mr. Spalding right before parting -heartfelt words as she had easily translated the tech jargon they were having a tough time to process-, apparently more than enough to short-circuit her brain and send a flurry of unintended innuendos past her lips: starting with “always a pleasure being with Mr. Queen” -choice of words that raised a few eyebrows considering the rumours already going around-, which was quickly followed by a weak attempt to save her dignity along the lines of “I mean us working out- just giving him a hand- not that he needs one ‘cause he’s got a pretty good head- on his shoulders!.”

Thankfully Oliver had stepped in after that, a gentle hand on the small of her back bringing her afloat and deftly guiding them to the exit as the men and women around them tried yet failed to stifle their laugher.

"I still think your bit about how good it feels having me inside you was much better,” his playful voice adds lightening the mood but doing little to appease the crimson flush that has taken permanent residence on her skin. 

“I was hoping you had forgotten about that one,” she shares as laugher rumbles deep in his chest; a single step forward and word whispered in her ear making her blush for very different reasons: never.

mallorywrites  asked:

"Where do babies come from?"

This one is sort of in the same verse as this ficlet (no need to read that beforehand to understand it, though)

Oliver’s taken by surprise when little Allie, six year old adorable Allie blurts the question, bright, innocent eyes fixed on him begging for the truth -a trait she inherited from her mother, no doubt-.

“It’s just now that auntie Thea is pregnant and uncle Roy said it was a baby in her belly but… how did it get there? I’ve read about eggs and storks but that sounds silly,” she finishes shaking her head and scrunching her nose. Yep, definitely Felicity’s kid, he thinks, the cutest even as she intimidates him.

His mouth opens and closes a few times as he’s got nothing, knowing the young Queen would easily read through the lies; choosing to go with probably a more dangerous option instead, three words Felicity will make him pay for later: momma knows best.

Write a sentence of a story for me and I will give you the next five :)

anonymous asked:

"why does diggle and roy get coffee?"

Oliver’s question echoes through the lair as he frowns at Felicity; she just simply keeps on walking to her desk after placing a cup of the hot beverage in both men’s hands.

“Since I can’t have any I’ve settled with indulging myself with that heavenly smell to get through the night,” she replies slumping into her chair and taking a deep breath that widens the grin plastered in her face.

“OK,” he concedes walking to her side, the other members of the team watching the exchange greatly amused, “but why don’t I get one too?”

His voice is small and with an undertone of anguish that makes her feel slightly guilty; yet, remembering the pact made a mere week ago, she turns to him, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips.

“Because we are pregnant.”

chaychaylovesolicity  asked:

You're my best friend and I'm in love with you. 5 sentence prompt

This time it’s different.

The soft tone with which he first voiced those heavenly three words remains: loving, relieved, like a breath of air that has been held for far too long.

His eyes still carry that warmth mixed with lightness, gazing into hers like if nothing else matters but them two; many more thoughts written in them than the ones rolling off his lips. 

It sounds and looks quite the same, taking her by surprise too… yet it’s different: they are ready.

There’s no evil twisting his arm, forcing the sentiment out loud; and there’s definitely little hesitance in Felicity before she lunges towards Oliver, one hand pulling him down to her, the other clawing at the emerald leather covering his wildly beating heart as their lips finally meet in a kiss years in the making.