50s musicals

story time
  • so during this show
  • (cinderella)
  • (i was a stepsister)
  • we made a bet
  • it was a bet on me
  • but not some wishy washy bet for a sandwhich deal
  • this was real life
  • this was money
  • and the bet was that I could not touch every butt of every person in the show
  • (every butt)
  • i took the challenge immediately 
  • (i am not weak)
  • but I had to do it all in one show
  • and i had
  • 10 minutes
  • (10 minutes of time when i was not onstage)
  • so what is a girl to do
  • i can not touch every butt backstage
  • (every butt)
  • i had limited time
  • i had to get
  • creative
  • i get the techies first
  • it took me the whole ten minutes
  • (they run fast)
  • and I get the extras and some others in the dance sequence
  • (multitasking)
  • but here’s the thing
  • now I have to get the main actors
  • how will she do it?
  • you ask
  • well
  • i will tell you
  • i’ll tell you how i did it
  • it’s called acting
  • i touched the butts
  • onstage
  • (all of the butts)
  • i touch the prince’s servant’s butt on my way onstage
  • (a light tap)
  • (too fast for the naked eye to see)
  • oh but he felt it
  • he knew
  • he knew i was out for the butts
  • (every butt)
  • i saw the fear in his eyes
  • no
  • he mouths to me
  • but it is too late
  • i’ve gone too far
  • i must not stop
  • twenty minutes until the end
  • i must work fast
  • i touch my stepsister’s butt
  • she is not surprised
  • she has bet money on this
  • (she knows what i am capable of)
  • i touch my stepmother’s butt
  • she is standing
  • she forgets her line
  • (she has lost seven dollars)
  • and now things become
  • difficult
  • i am on the floor of the stage
  • (for the scene)
  • and the prince
  • (the next victim)
  • (he has bet against me)
  • he is standing above me
  • facing away from me
  • butt first
  • this is my chance
  • it is now or never
  • i put a hand on the back of his leg
  • he knows
  • he is speaking
  • his voice cracks
  • he smells defeat
  • his defeat
  • my hand ventures up
  • (towards the butt)
  • he begins to sing
  • i touch the butt
  • (every butt)
  • i have won
  • he stumbles over a word
  • he is the loser
  • the curtain closes
  • i have done it
  • all that is left is the wedding scene
  • i have touched all the butts
  • (every butt)
  • i can’t believe you got cinderella’s butt
  • one says backstage
  • my heart stops
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs
  • i have not gotten the last butt
  • (the most precious butt)
  • i cannot do it
  • i think
  • i am in a quick change
  • (another girl’s hands are down my pants)
  • i cannot do this during the wedding scene
  • but i will not lose
  • i have come so far
  • i stop
  • your shoes
  • the techie says
  • i cannot come back
  • it must be done
  • i walk
  • no
  • i run
  • to the next room
  • cinderella is there
  • wearing a tan leotard
  • this is it
  • i think
  • i do not know this girl well
  • (she is catholic)
  • god forgive me for the sin i am to commit
  • i whisper
  • (i cross my chest)
  • the time has come
  • a crowd has circled around the room
  • they are watching
  • waiting
  • cinderella does not know
  • she has not yet truly been exposed to the world and its horrors
  • (she will be)
  • i stop
  • i am so close
  • i do it
  • both hands are on the butt
  • (the most precious butt)
  • i have done it
  • i’m sorry
  • i say
  • it had to be done
  • don’t stop
  • she says
  • what
  • i say
  • i did not expect this
  • a variable has been thrown into the equation
  • (the butt equation)
  • i like it
  • she says
  • she looks back at me
  • i look at her
  • (ten seconds until curtain)
  • she does not blink
  • (nine seconds)
  • i do not know what to do
  • (eight seconds)
  • my hands are still on the butt
  • (seven )
  • i want to move them but i cannot
  • (six)
  • i am not wearing shoes
  • (five)
  • the stage manager busts in
  • (saved by the manager)
  • the next five seconds are a blur
  • my hands are no longer on the butt
  • (i don’t know how)
  • i am on stage
  • i am not wearing shoes
  • the theatre teacher is in the audience
  • she knows
  • she sees
  • this is the end
  • i think
  • it was worth it
  • i bow
  • i am smiling
  • i have won