500000 points to me

anonymous asked:

More bachelor au pls

okay, so phichit is a producer on the bachelor and also good friends with katsuki yuuri, one of the top world male figure skaters, right?  and he knows that yuuri struggled a lot last season and is considering retirement, and he has this Grand Idea, which is to get yuuri to be The Bachelor for the show’s 867th season.  “being on a reality show will get your mind off of skating during the off season,” phichit promises. “there’ll be challenges, romance, it’ll be harmless fun.”

“i don’t know about romance,” yuuri says, but he says sure, and when he looks at the contract, he asks phichit, “so The Bachelor is like… twenty bachelors just living in a house together?”

“sure!” phichit says, because he really has yuuri’s best interests at heart, okay. 

yuuri doesn’t realize what he’s got himself into until he’s standing on the steps of this mansion in a tuxedo that the wardrobe department provided, and these guys keep stepping out of limos and introducing themselves to him with these double entendres, and half of them are dental hygienists and another quarter of them work in the stock market, and they are all very, very handsome.  “excuse me,” he hisses at executive producer victor nikiforov, “what is going on?” and then, “what do you mean they’re here for me, why would– oh my god, oh my god, this is the worst thing i’ve ever done,” and it takes victor nikiforov’s soothing hands and nice smelling broad chest against his face and strong arms around him and encouraging words to get back on those stairs because at the end of the day, yuuri signed a contract.

after meeting all of the “guests” (”suitors!” yuuri hisses at phichit upstairs in an empty bedroom used for the production staff, “you didn’t tell me all the other bachelors would be SUITORS. SUITING ME”), yuuri proceeds to go downstairs, wind his way through a series of men that he’s supposed to give a welcome speech to, and finds the bar in back and manages to get endearingly annihilated. even the men who wanted to get on the show for exposure and not to find true love are like, holy shit.  he’s not a ten.  he’s an eleven. he doesn’t register on any scale.  everyone is smitten, even executive producer victor nikiforov, who hasn’t been excited with being on The Bachelor project for the past half decade.