500 plus

A/N: Hey look, I’m doing the ask prompts! I hardly ever write romance, so this was out of my comfort zone. So I went a bit silly with it. Hope you enjoy!

***

Roman was the first to be bitten by the love bug. Unsurprisingly, his newest crush was an actor too. After watching him perform, even Roman had to admit that his crush was a tad more prolific at acting than he was. Initially he was jealous, then awed, then downright starstruck. And…well, he tried not to judge people by their appearances, but it had to be mentioned that THIS was one of the flippin’ cutest fellas in the history of the Earth. His Crush Level™ rocketed to a solid 9 in record time.

Patton was next to fall prey to the man’s charms. Patton claimed he wasn’t his type at first, but stopped brushing him off when he realized he was actually a really, really sweet guy. And funny! And he could juggle! And he had a nice accent…there went Patton.

Virgil investigated the subject after three days of Roman and Patton walking around moony-eyed. He couldn’t resist teasing Roman a bit, but Roman’s only response was to sit Virgil down and force him to watch a video of his crush in action, when he’d played a villain in a recent production.

“Why do you always think I’m attracted to the bad guy?” Virgil asked, rolling his eyes.

“Here’s a picture of him wearing all black.”

“….huh.”

“And here he is singing The Bare Necessities! DISNEY, Virgil!”

“….”

(Virgil was later heard saying to Roman as he rewatched the clip at three in the morning, “I like Disney and I’m emo, okay? It’s my branding.”)

Logan grew more and more tired of Roman, Patton and Virgil sitting around the table and talking about their mysterious crush in hushed voices until at last he decided to just Google the man. It was easy to find information about him because he’d been an actor in a recent movie. As he scanned the information, he found himself starting to nod.

“His father was a scientist?…he has an appreciation for Shakespeare??….he speaks five languages???”

He tried to keep his attraction a secret to no avail. “Someone’s got a low-key crush, huh?” Patton teased the next morning. He had, of course, immediately noticed Logan being blushy and flustered.

“…Something must be done.”

The four of them held a meeting in the living room. “Here’s what we’ll do,” declared Roman. “We drive to his house. Simultaneously declare our undying love. And see who he chooses to whisk off into the sunset.”

“Is your crown on too tight?” Virgil scoffed.

“I propose we send him an email asking to go to lunch with us.”

“No, no! How about we just take a drive over and give him a big ol’ hug?”

“What have we talked about with physical affection, pops?”

“Save it for the third date?”

“No! Uh, where did you hear that?”

“It’s better if we long from afar. Love is sweeter when it’s unrequited.”

“I guess Virgil’s got a point…I wouldn’t want him to pick me and not one of you. I mean, I do want him to, but I’d feel a little bad about it.”

“Why don’t we ALL marry him! What’s that thing on the Internet called? Light switch?”

“That’s ‘LAMP,’ Patton, and I don’t know if that would work out. In fact, I don’t think any of this would work out. I think we’re being ridiculous.”

“Here’s a fact for you: we’re going to visit him no matter how long it takes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!!”

“I want a fifth opinion!”

“Guys,” Thomas said, pausing his episode of Parks and Recreation, “could you let me concentrate? This is the last time I tell you, we are not going on a road trip to woo Tom Hiddleston.”