• dapcrafts 2015: haha squareflakes! don't cry, craft!!
  • dapcrafts 2016: glitterfaces!!
  • #protip !!!!
  • dapcrafts 2017: welcome to hell today we're sacrificing phil
I've been told you'd like to hear about my Grandmother...

My grandmother got married in 1962, to a young man in the military. For a wedding present, their parents bought them a house in a nice suburb. White picket fence, whole 9 yards. Not long after they moved in, the next door neighbor planted a mullberry tree on the side of his property, near my grandparent’s driveway. Nothing seemed amiss, but if you know Mullberry Trees, you know that sh*t is about to get real.

About 15 years later, the mullberry tree was OBNOXIOUS. The birds would come and eat the berries, and any car parked in the driveway would get sh*t on, and it would stain the cars and ruin paint jobs. My grandmother, upon realizing the culprit, baked a nice apple pie, walked next door, and asked the neighbor if he’d mind trimming back the branches of the tree that hung over her driveway. He told her not to worry, he’d get to it soon. Three days later, my grandmother opened her door to find a half-eaten pie in the plate, crawling with ants, and a note that said “I changed my mind.”

My grandmother threw out the pie, cursing up a storm, and swearing up and down she’d get him to trim that tree or get him back. City ordinance said she could not trim the tree, as the roots were on his property, so the whole tree was his property.

As the years went by, my grandmother repeatedly asked him, ever so nicely, to trim it back. His responses were always along the lines of “No” and “F*ck off.”
Finally, in the mid-90s, my grandmother retired, and received a large bonus from her employer for her 35 years of work. She took the money, and bought the empty lot on the other side of the neighbor, then went to a nursery and bought 16 mullberry trees, planting them along her property line, on both sides of his property. About 3 years ago, he became angry at the damage they were doing to his cars, and cut them all back without permission. My grandmother took him to court, and he was forced to reimburse her for the trees at a markup because they’d had 10 years to grow.

dan: 2017 will be the year for life stuff

phil: it’ll be more chill but there will still be exciting things happening 

phils calendar: turned to may 

louise: picking a dress for an upcoming wedding 

pj: talking about weddings being thrown into plans

me:

My nayme is Cowe,🐄
The grasse I eate,🌱
The sunne is warm,🌞
The aire is sweete,🌬


I luv my friends,❤
The cowes and sheep,🐄🐑
In day we romp,🐄
At nighte we sleep,🐮😴


Ostensiblye,😌
We slumber then,🐮😴
At least so thinks🤔
The human men,👬


In eeriye mist,🌫
I care'flly go😐
A bovine tryste 🐄
(The men don’t knowe),👬😯


A Cowe I like,🐄
Who likes me backe,🐂
She’s white and browne,🐂
I’m white and blacke,🐄


I have but one☝️
Detail to say,😊
I lik her head,🐄😛🐂
This Cowe is gaye :) 🐄❤️💛💚💙💜🐂


And such concludes🙋🏽
My poeme nowe,📝
The storye of📖
Lesbiane Cowe.💖🐄💖🐄💖🐄💖