50 shades of wes

50 Shades of Takei

So, I tried to read “50 Shades of Grey” this weekend, but every time Anastasia said “Oh My” (which was like, 2-3 times PER PAGE), I couldn’t help but imagine George Takei saying “Oh Myyyyyy”. By page 12, I imagined everything Anastasia said was said in George Takei’s voice. By page 15, I just imagined George Takei was Anastasia. I had to give up somewhere around page 17, because Christian has started to sound and look like William Shatner/Captain Kirk circa ST:TOS, and after that, I imagined everyone wearing Enterprise uniforms, and there was no way the story was going come back from that. 


I didn’t even make it to any of the sex scenes. 

youtube

Once… even with me it was supposed to happen.
But who will be blamed me?

Ain’t Much of a Grammar Lesson

Okay, y’all, I’ve been seeing a lot of misuse of the misuse of the English language. In particular, the gorgeous Southern-ism, “ain’t.” Supernatural writers, I’m looking at you extra special! :D If you’re gonna use my native dialectic and colloquialisms to ruin proper English, in the way of Dean Winchester and co., please take some of this to heart:

Ain’t ain’t a catch-all contraction. Even the most Deep South country folk don’t even use it all the time, even when appropriate.

Anyway, here are the generals which it replaces:

Is not
Are not
Am not
Has not
Have not

Examples:

“I ain’t (am not) reading that 50 Shades shit.”

“No, we ain’t (have not) ever been there before.”

“That ain’t (is not) gonna work.”

Now, people can get tripped up by the above, because it’s a picky rule, but ain’t, is usually not used to replace:

Haven’t we
Have we not


Example:

“Ain’t we (haven’t we) done this before?”

“Ain’t we (haven’t we) talked about this?”

Those is incorrect. If you’re still trying to remain colloquial, your character would be more likely to say, “we done this before, right?”

In fact, I’d suggest when in doubt, avoid the use of “ain’t” in a question. That’s often where people screw up the usage most.

In conclusion:

If you’re not a regular user of the word “ain’t,” err on the side of less is more. Most people don’t use it to replace every instance where it’s possible. People tend to use it more when there aren’t a lot of hard consonants in the sentence, it’s being spoken quickly, and/or short sentences, like the above examples.

Of course, these aren’t absolute rules of usage, naturally. It’s a colloquialism, and like all colloquialisms, can be extremely difficult to perfect, even for native American English speakers whose dialect doesn’t feature it in its normal lexicon.

As always, keep up the practice! If you have any questions, my ask box is always open! :D

Ok so i work at a movie theater and it’s pretty fucking fun.
BUT LAST WEEKEND OH MY GOD FUCK LAST WEEKEND. FUCK kids an teenagers
We had the premier for 50 shades, Lego batman(also had showings in 3d), and John wick.

John wick and 50 shades are rated-r so of course you have to show your I.D.
I dont care if you’re 18 and the only one with I.D. if the rest of your group doesn’t have ID they can’t buy a ticket. You can only buy one ticket extra not 5 more tickets.

Kids and their parents have no shame in trashing a theater.
I understand if you spill, because it happens but in our biggest theater that had 150+ people in for Lego Batman was trashed. It’s as if the parents gave their kids large popcorn bags and they just went through every row making a trail, and left all of their trash behind. SOMEHOW THEY SNUCK IN COSTCO PIZZA AND WE ALL GOT IN TROUBLE.

Also fuck middle schoolers that were trying to watch rings and asked for a kid ticket, like dumbass you have to be 13+ to watch that movie
Just pay 3 dollars more, I really didn’t want to sell those kids tickets because of how rude they were being about wanting to get a kids ticket (for kids 12 and under) for a movie that’s rated pg-13.

Also in the area that the theater is in has a curfew for people 17 and under.
If you dont have someone 21 (weve let some groups slide with a majority of them being 18 and had IDs/immediate rides home) and over you can’t be out aftwe 10pm. We are across the street from the police station and have a cop checking up every once in a while (there tends to be fights because it’s next to the mall that has a bowling alley with a bar). So we always have them checking up, we usually have extra security on busy days too. Well a bunch of kids were outside. And they were having fun, they were a little loud bit it was ok. it was about 30mins before 10pm so they were still good before the curfew. It was good until these kids were messing around too much and took someone’s phone and they started fighting outside of box office and were hitting the glass. It scared me and another guest trying to buy tickets so I asked them to calm down. A guy from security also asked them to calm down and to be aware that curfew is going to be enforced soon.
They calmed down and left after that but then came back with more people and were being even more loud and started another fight. we asked them to calmed down several times more and they didn’t. And a cop car came up to check and saw that they were still there 5 mins before curfew and started telling they had to leave and if they were waiting for a ride, to settle down because they are disturbing other guests. The kids took this as us being racist because they were poc.
Like bruh we gave several chances to calm down and reminded them of curfew and my manager offered to call their rides. But they still said we were being racist.

This lady also said I was racial profiling her because we asked for her ID when she paid with her card. We check for ID’s if you’re paying with a card and it’s more than $20(it’s crucial that we do this especially at box office), we do this because we’ve had several people try to use stolen credit cards and we want to make sure it’s your card. We want to enforce it more because during the holidays a guy tried using a card to pay for almost $100 worth of stuff and it was an elderly lady who’s credit card he had stolen.

We also check big bills if you give us a bill that’s $50 or $100 we use a marker and the light to make sure it’s real. Again in December a guest came in with a $20 that he had just gotten from the Albertsons down the street from us. The police got involved to make sure he did get it from there and his story was true. It’s not that you made the counterfeit it’s just that you could’ve gotten it from another business without them or you knowing it was a fake.
We just want to do our jobs just being assholes to us damn.

So how about a Friends remake. Except instead of 50 shades of whiteness in the most diverse city in the world, we cast Max Riemelt, Tina Desai, Doona Bae, Miguel Angel Silvestre, Toby Onwumere, Tuppence Middleton, Jamie Clayton. and Brian J Smith as friends/ roommates who explore love, race, sexuality, politics, culture, and life together. They can play variations of their sensate characters and everything.

anonymous asked:

Yesterday I slept round my exes house and we were watching 50 shades as the film started he reached up my top and was grabbing and kissing my tits then started kissing my neck I got so horny I sucked him off then rode him while kissing his neck he came 8 times last night and we both have hickeys and I can barely walk. His mum was next door the whole time and heard us whoops sorry not sorry 😇

Why you should not hate 2doc (or other fucked up pairings)

I don’t usually dig into the fandoms so much that I’d actually enter a discourse and add my input. I do enjoy fanfiction, appreciate the fanart and lift my mood with the endless supply of crack material (*cough*fannibals*cough*) but often I like to keep my involvement as light-hearted as possible. Life is hard enough without getting anxious over fandoms so I stay in the back row. But there is something that has been bothering lately and I feel the need to address it.

That one thing is the Gorillaz fandom.

Now hear me out - I love Gorillaz. I literally grew up with it and their comeback after 7 years of radio silence has given me lots of joy. The music is fantastic and as I’ve always enjoyed the stories behind the virtual band members, it’s not strange I’ve been sucked into the fandom lately. The problem is, it’s not a welcoming sphere.

Best fandoms are the ones where everyone involved feels free. Free to like what they like, write what they like and draw what they like. There’s no rules and everything is just between the fan and their obsession of choice. There are no restrictions of what is acceptable and therefore, we can all create the things we came here to create. It’s respectable and considerate to tag trigger warnings and such, so people won’t have to see things that make them uncomfortable (or simply just a bit weird), but the point still stands. Fandoms are free zones. You have no authority, I have no authority. You have the freedom to express yourself, as much as I have my own. It’s a sweet thing, to be able to break out from the real life for a bit and fall into a warm bath pool of creativity and love you can find in the best fandoms.

Unfortunately, Gorillaz fandom doesn’t fall into that category.

There’s seems to be a lot of hate in the Gorillaz fandom. You cannot search for anything without stumbling on some type of heated argument. Everyone is up in arms about what’s right or what’s wrong and there’s ship wars over just about everything. Those wars leak as far as into the band’s Instagrams and video comments on Youtube. Everywhere I go, I am reminded that I should watch what I say, what I share and what I do. I’ve felt it extra strong since I happen to like 2doc. And oh boy, isn’t that the war of wars. “How can you ship them?? That’s sick! You’re sick!! Why are you romanticizing an abusive relationship?!!” Well, how can you read 50 Shades of Grey? Twilight? Should we ban them too? (btw I hate both of those so apparently my sick is different from other people’s sick). And then it goes on about how shipping Noodle is wrong, and then to which one is more wrong et cetera et cetera. It just keeps on going.

Now, let me tell you darlings, I’ve shipped complex and often more or less abusive pairings practically my whole fandom life. My first fandom was Harry Potter and OTPs of choice Harry/Snape and after Sirius/Snape. Nowadays I can’t get over Hannigram (for those not in the Hannibal fandom it’s the pairing between Hannibal Lecter and FBI profiler Will Graham), which is light years more fucked up than 2doc will ever be. We’re not talking about some slaps here and there. We are talking about the most extreme mental abuse imaginable mixed with heavy physical abuse. The only difference is that Hannigram became canon. After heavy subtext and speculation, it was true. Their fucked up love might be truly fucked up, but it’s love. Should this story be banned? Am I supposed to hate the creators of the show for “romanticizing an abusive relationship”?

In my opinion, the best stories are complicated because complicated stories have layers. Humans are layered. And sometimes the characters we like best are horrible, despicable beings that we’d hate and despise in real life. As you might guess from my OTPs, most of my favorite characters go into this category. Just because I like a serial killer in a fictional story doesn’t mean I would cheer them on in real life. Writing about abusive or otherwise fucked up relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’re “romanticizing abuse”. It can happen (which I think 50 Shades of Grey is close to doing but that’s another discussion) and that can be criticized and discussed about, but in most cases it means is that you acknowledge the darkness that exists in all of us, and want to examine it inside a story. How can we love someone even if they’ve practically broken us to pieces? How can someone abuse the one they love the most?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to tell you that 2doc is canon, or that you should like it. What I’m trying to say, is that stories are stories. We use art to figure out this jumble that is life, and the way I go about it is different from yours. Different, not wrong. I know that people don’t go fighting about these things just to be mean (at least usually not), it’s just that when we love a character a lot, we want to keep it to yourself. Protect that concept we have created around it. Some things make us uncomfortable and it’s okay. Shipping Noodle with any of the band members makes me rather uncomfortable but I’m okay with it. I understand where they are coming from and leave those shippers in peace to enjoy it with each other. That’s what I would like to have for my ships and headcanons. A space where I can go to read fluffy 2doc where everything is ok when I feel down, and then other days to torture myself with the angstiest fic where everything is wrong and I just want to cry. (Yeah, newsflash, everything you read isn’t supposed to be sexy and happy because life doesn’t work that way) without someone shouting in my ear that what I’m doing is wrong. I want a safe space, not a space that makes me feel more horrible than I do in real life. I want love.

Could we do that? Give love? It’s such a simple request, simple laying down of the arms. Why do we argue so much? We are all here because of Gorillaz, of our love for it. Isn’t that great? Hundreds, thousands, even millions of humans just loving one and the same thing, and sharing their love. I’d like to love you too. Can we do that? Such a simple thing…

Anyways.

Hugs, loverz.

I love you.

anonymous asked:

I'm hella curious about where the fandom generation gap started too, because I'm only 19 and i grew up with the fiction isn't reality rule just kind of assumed on ffnet, from around 14 onwards. I genuinely think it is because of tumblr, not ao3 or any other site. Tumblr took a big swing towards social justice in 2014 ish. But tumblr.. does not actually organise political activism. Tumblr "activism" became "taking a moral high ground in fandom to feel like a Good Person"

Tumblr does seem to be a common thread in many of the changes that have happened in fandom recently. There is no real permanence of posts, no accessible archiving and the setup for discussion is terrible. The natural enculturation of newer fans into fandom etiquette and attitudes by older ones that used to happen on venues like LJ, mailing lists and forums doesn’t seem very possible here. Newer fans find like-minded people, and aren’t exposed enough to other people to see the ‘live and let live’ attitude that was previously common. They don’t learn to understand what was previously generally understood.

Today’s fandom newcomers also have the benefit of not having to hide their fandom for fear of C&D letters, stigma or harassment. There is no more attitude of mutual support because we’re all ‘sick, sad freaks’ together in the eyes of the world. I do believe youth has a part to play. The newer (often younger) fans latching onto to what they think is social justice is pretty usual adolescent behavior. Harassing people over their ships is the new mocking people over their sneakers. Anything that makes them feel superior and more secure about their rapidly changing place in the big, scary world…

Allowances for youthful stupidity aside, I will never find en masse harassment of fic writers to be okay. Comparisons to Hydra Cap and 50 Shades are pointless. We the consumers have a right to say we don’t like it. And then? We boycott. Don’t like, don’t read/watch. Let it fade by unpopularity. You don’t threaten people with rape and death, especially not when fandom people already had their methods in place, the tags, the ratings, the warnings etc to indicate that they are much more aware about the implications of their content that most of mainstream media. The message was there. It’s not fandom creators’ fault that the consumers didn’t learn to read it.