5 places to go in la

ABC of me

tagged by @minimuii .Thank youu :DD

A - Age: 20

B - Biggest Fear: welp, so many. Failure probably, like trying so hard at something and still coming up with nothing. It messes me up. Also, being useless/unneeded I guess. Oh and spiders, those little frickers need to stay back. I’ll respect your creepy space if you respect mine thanks.

C - Current time: 7:50

D - Drink you last had: Water

E - Everyday starts with: Me frantically trying to turn off my alarm before falling back into bed,telling myself I can sleep for 5 more minutes 

F - Favorite Song: I’ve been listening to Ainsi Bas La Vida by Indila for hours so I guess that for now 

G - Ghosts, are they real?: hmm I suppose, but not the stereotypical kind we see in movies 

H - Hometown: ******* 

I - In love with: lots of stuff; people, art, songs, stories, places..

J - Jealous of: people who can just do stuff without overthinking. They just frickin do it without obsessing over all the what if’s or the possibilities that it could go horribly wrong. I wanna be like that and kick hesitation in the face. Also those who can art in less then a couple of hours..just HOW 

K - Killed Someone: nope

L - Last time you cried: Last week I think, I was reading or watching something that was sad and it just happened.

M - Middle Name:*****

N - Number of Siblings: 2 younger siblings, brother and sister

O - One Wish: I’d wish for more wishes 

P - Person you last called/text: My Mum 

Q - Question you’re always asked: “Are you [insert random ethnicity here]?”. I’ve gotten so many..so many

R - Reason to smile: currently, a random vine completion video 

S - Song You Last sang: I don’t really sing, but I think the last time was when I was waking up my little sister singing yelling “Morning Report” from lion king as I dragged her out of bed. 

T - Time you woke up: 7:30

U - Underwear color: the colour of nope

V - Vacation Destination: so many places. I wanna revisit Cali again, London would be cool to, Paris, would love to visit Dubai and India to see friends, and Egypt cuz the last time I went I got super sick, so that ruined the trip

W - Worst Habit: biting my nails and sticking out my tongue when I’m concentrating.

X - X-rays: does dental x-rays count 

Y - Your favorite foods: spaghetti!! 

Z - Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius   

Tagging @ky-jane  @dog-gone-it  @megatraven  @insanitysbloomings and anyone else who feels like doing this :D

6 months

2 years. 2 years in a relationship with Nash, just to break up over text message because of the pictures of him and another girl. He was on tour and cheating on you.

You’ll admit, the first week, you laid in bed crying. You were heartbroken. He was your first true love, after pizza of course. But you were so hurt. He said he loved you, but his actions showed otherwise.

In the messages, he said it was an accident. A one time thing. She was just a fan and things just happened. He didn’t mean it. He loved you.

Lie after lie after lie.

The second week you were still upset, but you moved from your bed now. You found yourself mostly playing sad songs and drowning your pain in the bottom of a tub of ice cream. Not the healthiest way to cope, but you were doing okay.

The third week you were finally realizing that he didn’t deserve your tears. You saw his tweets, Instagram pictures, snapchat stories, he was out having the time of his life it seemed. He was out on dates with other girls already. Out partying with the guys. He was happy, so why weren’t you?

The forth week rolled around and you decided you were done. You finally got rid of that box of stuff you had of his under your bed. Your burned the love letters, threw away all the gifts he bought you, like the teddy bear from Valentine’s Day. The minion he won from a carnival game the night he took you on your 4th date. All of it. You were finally ready to move on.

Now, here you are, 6 months post break up, hanging out with your new boyfriend, Beau at his place.

You guys met at the gym (since drowning your sorrows in ice cream did nothing for your figure) a month after your breakup and really clicked. Granted he gave you all his lines that day, it was his sense of humor that made you agree to going out to lunch with him the next day, and well, the rest is history. That was 5 months ago though.

Now here you are, head over heels for the biggest goof you knew. He constantly made you laugh, and his brothers, Luke and Jai, same age as you, were suddenly your best friends. You spent at least 4 days out of the week with Beau, the other 3 you were just busy with work.

You were currently at Beau and the rest of the boys place in LA, cuddled up on his bed watching a movie. You couldn’t deny that you were tired. You were up early this morning for a photoshoot, and you didn’t get home until late last night.

You did some modeling, and you had to admit you did love it. You noticed how 3 months after your break up though, any picture you would post you saw Nash would like it. No big deal, since you did get like 200,000 some likes on a picture, but still.

And he would indirect you on twitter a lot. Or at least he has lately. He’s tweeted ‘don’t ever let go of someone who was once all about you’ and ‘my only regret was hurting you so much it made you leave.’ Of course there were several others, and people always tagged you in the tweets, but you paid no attention.

You were happy with Beau. He made you feel beautiful. Loved. Everything. You loved being around him. You honestly couldn’t even picture being with anyone else now. You wanted nothing more than to just be with Beau. Like, he was your happiness.

That night you didn’t have to work, and you didn’t have anything for the following morning, so as usual you stayed with the boys, a habit that seemed to be starting. You cooked them dinner, which they were grateful for, and then watched them play fifa. Jai and Luke versus Beau and Skip.

Around 11:30 you decided to head to bed, knowing those four would be up for hours. Beau did pause the game though to ‘tuck’ you into bed, which only led to you guys making out for like 15 minutes before Jai screamed from downstairs for Beau to ‘hurry up and finish’ since ‘everyone knows you can’t last that long anyway’

You stayed up though, watching a movie from bed, cuddling with Hamlet. You were watching the lion king, and you couldn’t help but snap a pic of you and Hamlet. I mean, who doesn’t love dogs, cuddles, and the Lion King? You posted the photo on twitter and Instagram and then locked your phone and then focused on the movie.

Nash was on twitter, and was guilty of having your tweet notifications on, along with you Instagram ones as well. He was over at the boys house, and they had just finished a game of hoops, everyone taking a break and checking their phones.

He had a notification of yours from twitter and Instagram. Checking twitter he saw it. The picture you had taken while over at Beaus. He immediately exited out and checked your Instagram post, only to see the same picture. He admits, it was a great pic of you. You looked great, even for it being 11:30 at night.

“another night with the actual love of my life Hamlet” and it had Beau fuckin Brooks tagged in the caption, and the picture itself.

“that’s the third fucking night in a row.” He mumbled, locking his phone. “the third fucking night in a row she’s spent at his house.”

“bro chill, they are dating, it’s not like she’s cheati- never mind.” Johnson spoke, catching himself from saying something terrible.

“like I don’t fucking know that. I know they’re fucking dating. Everyone fucking does. Who doesn’t know about the hottest model dating the Australian prankster. I mean, if you didn’t just go on any fucking site. Twitter, where her fans and his fans and half the other people in the world talk about how perfect they are. How much they ship them. Or even look at their profiles. They do nothing but fucking tweet about one another, tweet one another and fucking post pictures of them together all the damn time.” Nash went off. He was pissed. He didn’t like that you were this happy with someone that wasn’t him.

Because just a few months ago that was you guys. People were shipping you guys. You were tweeting about one another, tweeting pictures of each other, posting all kinds of pictures together, tweeting one another.

“bro, can’t you just be happy for her? I mean, don’t you want her to be happy?” Johnson, the man of wisdom spoke again. Everyone else just kinda put in their own little inputs, but Johnson was the only one to make you realize anything.

“Yeah I want her to be happy. But I want her to be happy with me. I want her to be posting pics of us, not her and someone else.”

“yeah, well you kinda ruined that didn’t you?” Johnson fired back. Everyone was shocked he said it because well, yeah everyone knew Nash cheated, but since it happened no one talked about it. Not that they were scared, but simply that it was just kinda understood. Everyone knew what went down, no need to discuss it

“Johnson.” Nash practically growled. Everyone could tell he was ready to punch Johnson for bringing it up.

“no Nash listen. You fucked up. Big time. You had a fucking dime, and to be honest with you, if it wasn’t for bro code, the second you two broke up I would’ve gone after her. I’m not gonna lie, I still talk to her, hang out with her. She’s great, and she loved you so much. But you fucking took her for granted and lost the best damn thing that ever came your way.” Johnson spit.

“you don’t think I know that? I know I messed up okay.”

“I know, but I still don’t think you get it. Yeah you messed up. You treated her like shit while you were on tour. Empty conversations, hardly ever talking to her. I think there was seriously like 2 weeks when you didn’t even bother to respond to her? But she fucking stuck by you. She way faithful as shit. And then you go and cheat on her? With a fan? You know they can’t keep their damn mouths shut. And after that breakup sure you were feeling great. Free. Nothing could stop you. Nothing was holding you back. Now here we are, 6 months later, she’s moved on, and now’s when you start caring. She’s your ex and all and you should want nothing but the best for her since you couldn’t give it to her.”

“I don’t need this.” Nash said, walking off inside, where he found Nate and Sammy drinking and smoking. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and started drinking, giving up on basketball and now all of the guys essentially just having a small party.

A bottle of vodka, and like half a blunt later Nash was just a mess. He excluded himself from everyone else inside laughing, having the time of their lives. He went outside, sitting on the edge of a cement wall. He scrolled through your guys’ old photos he still had on his phone. His thoughts eating him alive. He couldn’t stand this.

He missed you.

He missed making you laugh, the way your eyes would squint and your nose would scrunch up as you tipped your head back. He could no longer do that to you, he could no longer make you laugh. Now it was Beau who made you laugh. And that hurt him, so much. Your laugh was his favorite sound.

He missed the way you would cuddle up next to him. How you would throw your leg over his body and your arm across his chest and snuggle up real close to him. How you would nuzzle your head in his side. How perfect you and he fit together.

Or the way you would skip through the house, just humming or singing. His shirt draped over your body, and your little knee high socks, and nothing else. It was his favorite sight. He loved nothing more than trudging out of bed in the morning to find you in the kitchen singing. He loved walking up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck, telling you how great last night was. He cringed at the thought of Beau and you being the same way.

Then the thought of you and Beau being intimate in anyway. Doing anything sexual. He started to think about all the things you used to love in the bedroom. How you loved when he would pin you up against the wall. How rough he could get, but how he could slow it down, putting all his love into every deep thrust. How you would squirm when he kissed that spot, right below your ear. Or how you loved to suck him off before anything. The foreplay. How much you loved to be on top, or how you loved when he hit it from the back.

Thinking of you and Beau doing any of that together was enough to set him off. He had a new message open to you, he just didn’t have any idea what to say. His thoughts were all jumbled, and the alcohol gave him all the confidence he needed. No matter how sloppy his thoughts were one thing was clear. He missed you, and he wanted to let you know that.

To (y/n): I miss you.

And after he sent it, he waited. Messages still open. Hope of any contact from you started to fade as 15 minutes had passed and you still hadn’t even opened it. His thoughts started to come back, and he thought about how much he missed falling asleep next to you every night, and waking up with you every morning.

He was about to type another message but then he saw the little bubble pop up and eagerly awaited your response.

Beau had just came upstairs into his room to get ready for bed when you got a new message. Rarely ever getting a message at midnight, you were quite curious as to who it would be. The only person you ever talked to this late was either your best friend, or Beau. And since your best friend was out of state, in a different time zone for the week, you knew it wasn’t her, plus you guys only talked late when it was an emergency. And considering you were with Beau, it couldn’t be him.

“who’s that?” Beau asked, emerging from the bathroom in his boxers, a sight you quite enjoyed.

“no idea.” You replied, reaching over to the night table and checking your phone.

You unlocked your phone, only to see something you did not expect at all. A new message from the last person on earth you expected.

“it’s uh, it’s from Nash.” You said, shocked.

Beau climbed into bed, pulling you into him so you guys were spooning.

“like your ex Nash? What did he say?”

“yeah him. And he just said he missed me. I’m not even going to reply. I’m just going to go change my number in the morning.” I said, clicking out of my messages.

“no don’t. I know it’s not ideal, but I mean, you should text him back. You know, give him some closure or something.” Beau smiled.

“you’re not mad?”

“why would I be? I mean, I’ve got you now. Even though he fucked up, he still deserves some closure. Thing about it babe, this is the first you guys have talked in like 6 months.”

“okay. You’re the best. I love you.” You smiled, turning and kissing his lips lazily.

To Nash: It’s been 6 months Nash. I think you’re fine.

From Nash: I’m not fine. These past 6 months hae been hell. I miss you so muvh babt.

“he’s drunk.” You told Beau.

“drunk or not, he still has feeling babe. Just, let him say what he has to say. I know this is what you’ve wanted for months now.”

“what have I wanted?” you asked, confused. You didn’t want anything from Nash. You loved Beau now, so you were confused.

“you want answers, and now’s your chance to get some.”

To Nash: well, that’s not really my problem.

From Nash: I knoww. I mesaed up

To Nash: can I ask you something.

From Nash: of course.

To Nash: okay, firstly. Why’d you do it? Were you not happy with me? Cause if not, you should have broke up with me before.

From Nash: no. fuck no. I was happy with you. It’s just on tour I felt held back. Like everyone else was out having great times and I just felt like I couldn’t cause of yoi.

To Nash: you could have just talked to me, instead of ignoring me and then cheating on me.

From Nash: I know. Can I ask  you something.

To Nash: sure.

From Nash: are you happy? With bo ? nd evrithing else in oyur life?

To Nash: Beau* but yeah. I am happy with him. And my modeling is really taking off.

From Nash: I’m glad your work iz good. Bo is lucki

To Nash: Beau*

From Nash: right. I’m sorry.

To Nash: it’s fine. Lots of people spell it wrong.

From Nash: no. not for the name. For everything else. For the lies, and cheating. I regret it all. I still care about you, but if you’re happi then I’m happi for you.

To Nash: why?

From Nash: I already told you. I felt held back.

To Nash: no, not that. Like why now? Why are you apologizing now? 6 months later? I wanted an apology like a week after, maybe a month, but 6 months later? I thought maybe we could be statistics, remain friends after the breakup, but 6 months later?

From Nash: it’s just. I wanted to be friends. I just needed to figure things out.

To Nash: by sleeping with other girls?

From Nash: that makes it sound bad.

To Nash: cause it was bad Nash. It hurt so much knowing while I was laying around hurting, you were out, happy as can be.

From Nash: funny.

To Nash: what’s funny about that?

From Nash: no, not that, it’s just funny how things change.

To Nash: what do you mean?

From Nash: it’s funny how now, I’m the one hurting, and you’re happy as can be.

To Nash: what?

From Nash: It hurts knowing you’re falling asleep in someone else’s arms, and waking up next to them every morning now…

The Immediate Future and Past in French (Futur Proche et Passé Récent)

Immediate Future/Futur Proche:

In French, the immediate future can be used to say that you’re going to do something. It’s used with the verb “aller”(to go) in the present tense then followed by the verb in the infinitive (un-conjugated form).

Je vais                          nous allons

Tu vas                           vous allez

Il/elle/on va                   ils/elles vont

e.g. Est-ce que tu vas aller à Paris demain? - Are you going to go to Paris tomorrow?

e.g. Combien des vêtements vas-tu acheter? - How many clothes are you going to buy?

e.g. Je vais acheter 5 livres à la librairie aujourd’hui. - I’m going to buy 5 books at the bookstore today.

In the negative, the negatives are placed around the conjugated verb:

e.g. Ils ne vont pas m’aider! - They’re not going to help me!

e.g. On ne va pas aller chez Hannah. - We’re not going to go to Hannah’s house/place.

Immediate Past/Passé Récent:

The immediate past works in the same way that the immediate future does. Although rather than using “aller” you’ll use “venir”(to come) in the present tense and “de”. It means that something has just happened:

e.g. Je viens d’acheter ce livre! - I just bought this book!

Je viens                     Nous venons

Tu viens                     Vous venez

Il/elle/on vient            ils/elles viennent

e.g. Nous, on vient d’arriver à Paris aujourd’hui. - We just arrived in Paris today.

e.g. Non, merci,  Je viens de manger. - No thank you, I just ate.

e.g. Désolé, elles viennent de partir. - Sorry, they just left.

If there’s anything anyone wants to add to this then feel free! Learning languages is a fun process and since I’m taking French, all I can really think about are the convenient grammar structures I used to avoid using the past or future tense when I was younger.

Do Dis: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

I was tagged by both @granpappy-winchester and @vulcanplomeeksoup, thanks guys, this is fun! I’m going to follow along with those who’ve been including excerpts from the fics I’m currently working on–there are a lot of others I’ve outlined or are in the queue, but these are the ones that actively have my attention!

1. Invisible!Will (or I Do Wander Everywhere) Chapter 9:

He would have thought it maddening, not being able to see Will while touching him. Hannibal has imagined Will’s beauty laid bare to him, the flush of his skin, eyes luminescent in the low light, lips kissed red. But oh, this is somehow all the more thrilling. Putting Will together by touch alone, defining the empty space he can see by the sighs Hannibal’s touch coaxes forth, the slide of Will’s thigh, solid and strong between his legs, the jut of Will’s pelvic bone pressing into the softness of Hannibal’s lower stomach, the elegant line of Will’s spine twisting away, even as his grip on Hannibal’s collar tightens and pulls him nearer.

2. His Soul to Keep (Kuroshitsuji AU) Part 4:

Behind them, Will was aware of Reba ushering a stunned Jimmy and Brian from the room, and he closed his eyes briefly in dismay, hands clenched at his sides. Another rash, impulsive action, and it was all Hannibal’s fault. The door swung closed, and Will opened his eyes again, gaze drawn to the mark on Hannibal’s cheek, already a vivid red in the shape of Will’s hand.

Hannibal observed Will from under the fall of his silky hair, eyes unmistakably red. They flared with barely restrained power, as Hannibal’s fingers came up to prod gingerly at the edges of the mark. He could have healed it, but he did not, and Will’s stomach dropped at the realisation. There was that uncomfortable, all-encompassing heat, as relentless as August in New Orleans. It swept through Will’s veins, setting him alight from within.

Will swallowed hard and fought the urge to take a step back. <i>He</i> was the master here. Hannibal moved slowly and smoothly as a shadow, coming around the island and crowding into Will’s space. He raised a hand, and Will flinched, half-expecting a slap in return, but Hannibal’s palm came to rest gently against his cheek. His gloved thumb traced the dip beneath Will’s lip. “And what, my Lord, is my transgression?”

“Don’t play stupid with me,” Will said, and was secretly pleased with how even his voice remained, how he managed to rein in the full-body shudder that Hannibal’s touch provoked.

3. How Pale and Wanton Thrillful (My Radiance offering, so you won’t be seeing any more of this for a while :D):

In the evenings, his tiny shack seems to shrink down to the beams of lamplight cast across the floor. Will’s no stranger to living in small spaces, and he finds it comforting–grounding, really, to have everything he needs to survive close at hand. Just a kitchen and the pullout sofa, and a row of dog beds. Will can fling open the windows and leave the door open to the screen. The breeze comes in off the water, and it’s enough to cool down the whole house.

It’s been a couple of weeks and looking back he’ll realise it happened too gradually for him to see outright, but he should have known. First it’s in the lazy turn of the ceiling fan, click click clicking away. Stripes of shadow and illumination flickering over the page of the book before him–light then dark, light then dark.

Will finds himself studying the shadow rather than the words, and everything else slips away. The gentle chorus of insects and the crash of the waves, Daisy’s chew-toy squeaking, even the sound of the pull-chain clinking. Nothing but the whir of the fan blades slicing through the air. Air that is suddenly denser, pressing in against his skin, dragging through his lungs. How sharp the blades must be–as sharp as the one he’d wielded on the cliffside…

4. Orphan!Hannibal part 2:

Will’s mind could resist all he wanted, but his body made its interest known. His heart would race, caught in his throat when he first saw Hannibal’s face, the lines growing more angular, though there remained a roundness in his cheeks. His palms were constantly sweaty, no matter how often he rubbed them against his jeans, when Hannibal sat too close beside him. Hannibal would crowd close in the kitchen, hips and shoulders and arms bumping as they worked together to prepare dinner, and a fire caught low in his stomach and he was flustered and disoriented and fucking miserable.

5. Make No Mistake Spacedogs a/b/o WIP:

It doesn’t take a whole fuckin’ lot of effort to figure out there’s a lot more going on there. Given the proximity to places like Vegas and LA where the sextrade is alive and well, it’s no surprise that The Golden Rest serves as an underground railroad of sorts for Omegas fleeing their owners–whether that’s an abusive Alpha or a domineering Madame.

No Alphas or Betas get anywhere near the place. There’s a perimeter wall patrolled by Betas a good couple of miles from the actual resort. Nigel knows the simplest way to gain access, but he isn’t ready to go to those lengths for this job. Instead he sets up camp at a local bar, and it isn’t long before some of the staff begin to trickle in.

Gaby once told Nigel he was sinisterly charming, and to be honest, he hadn’t even had to try very hard to win her over in the beginning. When he puts his mind to it, he can have the most intransigent asshole eating out of the palm of his hand. But these people, they’re eager to talk to an outsider, and a Beta is all the better–different from their fellow Omegas they’re surrounded by day in and day out, good conversation and flirtation with the potential for something more, and without the underlying threat that comes part and parcel with an Alpha.

“These scars will fade away but never disappear, my dear.” - La Dispute

I am very proud as today I am 9 months clean apart from one tiny relaps on one my leg 6 months ago.  I am doing well and I really truely hope to never feel I have to go back to that dark dark place. I was a victim self harm for 5 years and I honestly in such a better place now. I love you all with all my heart and Im not that great advice and all but just want to say that I am open for questions/venting to in my ask box/fan mail. You are amazing and so much stronger than you could ever think. Who ever you are and whatever going through I am so pround of you and if you ever need anyone to talk to then Im just a message okay. Stay strong and positive and keep you heads up duckies.  I promise you things will get better please just never ever give up.

Begin Again Filming Locations in Paris

So after an amazing trip to Paris this week and the discovery of several of the filming locations for the Begin Again video (after a long hunt-”IS THAT THE TREE?? THAT’S THE TREE! No wait, that’s not the tree. Ooops. Wrong bridge behind it. Nope. KEEP WALKING LET’S GOOOO”)  @sparklesmusicnotesandpawprints and I figured we’d go ahead and share our findings with everyone! I know the map is cheesy but it works and I left Notre Dame in the bottom right hand corner for reference of where all of these things are! If you plan to visit any of these locations please read the below tips first!

  1. This is the old lock bridge-the locks are all gone now :( Very disappointing but still pretty with the building behind her. She’s pretty far across the bridge, but if you want minimal people in the shot you need to be a lot closer to the building. There are shots without the bridge in it-I’d suggest if you want to copy this shot try to screenshot one without the bridge as it’s very ugly now, all boarded up with temporary fences :/
  2. The tree is at the very end of the island with Notre Dame on it-there’s a horse statue at the end of the island then you have to walk down the stairs to river level and it’s the very last tree. There are often couples making out there, so beware. Try to get their at an off time if you want to be alone-we had to go when it was raining to get a shot without people in it. It’s much more grown in than it used to be but it is as beautiful as ever. Again-the bridge behind is all boarded up now. Not as pretty :( Sit with your feat on the stairs going down to the water if you want to be in the spot she was
  3. It’s on the opposite side of the water as the tree-you’ll have to cross the bridge and go down the stairs again. This is a hard place to avoid people too, especially joggers. If you use the sign on the bridge and the trees under the left side it’s much easier to line up the shot!
  4. La Pallette-Ahhhh, the café. It’s worth walking by but probably not worth going in. You have to walk around the corner to see the booth she sat in, it’s in a back room. The place is hella expensive and filled to the brim with rich old people (we couldn’t even get a spot, and it was an off season and an off time). In actuality it’s much more of an upscale restaurant than a café. It’s around 5 euros for a drink but you’ll probably be expected to purchase a meal-which can cost upwards of 15-20 euros (think Foie Gras and Escargot, more than sandwiches and pastries). There are plenty of affordable and delicious places to eat less than a block away, like Paul, the French bakery chain. Delicious AND cheap!
  5. Right by where number 3 was taken-that same boat is still in the same place, just as awesome as before!

Surprisingly enough everything is fairly close together so it’s easy to check it all out if you’re short on time! Have a great trip to Paris if you’re heading out there and don’t hesitate to message either of us questions!

Is Everything Okay

I loved Derek. I really did. But sometimes all the fame he had, got to me. We could rarely ever go out without someone stopping and wanting a picture with him. Or when he went on tour, I trusted him with my life, we’ve been together for 5 years now, and things were great between us, but on tour and stuff, there’s always rumors.

Derek was currently on the road, or should be, and I was at our place out in LA. He had a show last night in Tucson and left sometime in the middle of the night to make their way here. I talked to him everyday, we would text, call and facetime everyday or night. But there was all this shit going down about some girl and Derek getting together.

And Derek broke his phone a few days ago. He’d call me from Skate’s or John’s phone, shoot me texts here and there, but last night nothing. And like I said, I did trust him, but I know how he can get when he drinks or smokes too much.

I was shuffling through the medicine cabinet, looking for my pills. I needed them before I started to pass out or something. I’ve had anxiety since I was 16, and got diagnosed with mild depression when I was 20, right after my dad died. So I had pills for my anxiety and some for the depression.

I’ve gotten better, not needing to take them as regularly or anything, just, some things sparked an attack. Like the fact that these rumors are going around, everyone’s mentioning me on twitter and shit, and the fact that I haven’t got in contact with any of the boys.

Finding my bottle I grabbed it, hope coursing through me. I unscrewed the lid, only to find it empty. This wasn’t happening. I can’t be out. I swear I just had some like, last month.

Dropping the bottle, I slid down the wall. I put my head in my hands and started freaking out. I was shaking, I was hyperventilating,  and I was dizzy. The room was spinning, everything was becoming so surreal.

Suddenly I felt two arms wrap around me. I didn’t need to look up to know who it was, I knew exactly who it was because these arms felt like home.

“(y/n) babe, is everything okay?” he asked, helping me sit up a bit.

I was still shaking, and my breathing was still uneven.

“I-I don’t…my pills.” I was shaking. 

Derek kept one hand on my arm as he looked and saw the bottle on the floor and saw it empty. He got up and looked through the cabinet but sighed when he couldn’t find anymore. 

He sat down next to me and pulled me onto his lap.

“baby, just breathe” he spoke, rubbing my back.

“it’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay.” he kept speaking me through it.

After probably 15 minutes, I finally started to calm down. I had stopped shaking and my breathing became normal. I turned and looked at Derek who gave me a sympathetic look.

“are you okay babe?” he asked, looking at me sideways a bit.

“I’m fine.” I spoke, getting up and walking out of the bathroom. I heard him sigh behind me and get up, his footsteps following me shortly after.

“(y/n), seriously. What happened?” he asked, as I made my way to the kitchen.

“nothing.” I sighed, grabbing some water from the fridge.

“clearly something happened. you don’t just get those for no reason.”

After 5 years together, Derek knew me better than I knew myself, and I hated that, cause he always had the upper hand. He knew when I was lying, all kinds of shit like that. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just, when he knew something was wrong, he wouldn’t stop talking about it until he knew what happened.

We had been through so much. He helped me with a lot of my anxiety attacks, and I helped him through his drug problem. We might have our problems, but we get through them together, we always have.

I sighed, and looked up at him.

“babe, tell me what happened” he spoke, still standing across from me cause he wasn’t sure how this was gonna go. 

“it’s just…the rumors Derek. I haven’t heard from you in a few days, but I trust you. You know I do. But then everything on twitter just blew up, people were asking me all kinds of questions, a-and” I started hyperventilating again.

“baby, baby, please” Derek spoke, coming over to me and pulling me into him. “calm down, it’s okay. You said it yourself babe, rumors. You know I would never do that to you.” he moved his hands to cup my cheeks, resting his forehead against mine as I calmed down.

“I wouldn’t trade one meaningless night in the sheets for all that we got babe.” he spoke, stroking his thumb along my cheek before leaning in and kissing me briefly, pulling back and resting his forehead against mine.

“ I told you before ma, it’s me and you against the world. you’re my girl.” he smiled.

“so I’m you’re down chick?” I giggled as Derek squeezed my side and pulled me into him and started tickling me. I was wrapped up in his arms, somehow getting turned around, so his arms were around my waist from behind. He reached around and kissed my cheek.

“even though you ruined my moment, yes ma, you’re my down chick.”


a/n: it’s short and kinda shitty ending, but i needed some derek fluff and had a few requests. ALSO I DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION, BUT IF YOU’RE HAVING PROBLEMS TALK TO ME. I SWEAR I’LL LISTEN AND I’LL CARE. I’M HERE FOR YOU. ALWAYS


The Music Halls

What you need to know:

A group of banshees obsessed with music that dwell in a pocket dimension have been luring people into their realm through song and then kills them using their energy to sustain the realm.

How it begins:

Throughout a local area singing can be heard non stop, seeming to come from everywhere. At first it is faint, only heard at night when completely silent, but has since grown becoming louder, spreading from a small area to encompassing entire towns and villages. Then the disappearances have started, people randomly disappearing in the night.
Note: Any investigations will reveal locked doors and no signs of a struggle. This is because once a person has become entranced with the music, a portal to the pocket realms opens in their room where the banshee lures them inside.

At some point, when the players have gathered together at a tavern, shop or even talking to local officials, have the music become intense, forcing saves or becoming charmed and enchanted with the song. A a swirling vortex forms in the area, the haunting music coming from inside. Horns blare, drums beat and strings vibrate as the vortex intensifies and all those charmed begin to walk inside.
Note: those not charmed can act normally, including walking into the vortex.


The vortex opens into a large music hall. The players stand on a stage and see rows of empty seats, a symphony is playing in the background but the source cannot be seen. There is a door to their left leading to part 2.


The players enter into a room of pulsating red stone. Floating above the floor are several violins, their strings vibrating. There is a door leading to part 3.


  • Any players who hear the music must roll or suffer insanity, as the spell.
  • This will continue till the player is removed from the room or is made deaf.
  • The violins can only be destroyed with magic damage.


  • The door is locked and needs to be picked or brute forced to open.


The players enter into a room of pulsating red stone. Several large brass horns jut out of the walls. There is a door leading to part 4.


  • The horns will blare as players attempt to pass, dealing X D6 sonic damage.
  • Inside, at the bottom of the horn, the players can see a stanza with a note containing a small switch. There are in random order of notes: F A C E.
  • Players must stick their arms in to flip the switch.
  • The horns can only be destroyed with magic damage.


  • The door is locked and needs all the switches to be flipped in order of F A C E  to open.


The players enter into a room of pulsating red stone. Floating about the floor are 7 drums beating lightly with floating drum sticks. Upon their surface, each one has a key shaped as a note. There is a door leading to part 4 and upon its surface a stanza with a lock on each line.


  • As players pass the drums, they beat louder and shock the players, forcing them to roll or lose D4 CON as their limbs and insides liquefy from concussive force.
  • Any player who attempts to take a key must roll to avoid being hit by a drum stick falling, resulting in X D6 crushing damage.
  • The drums can only be destroyed with magic damage.


  • The door is locked  and the 7 keys need to be placed in the stanza lock in order of Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti


The players enter a room of white stone and upon its surface is a stanza with music notes wrapping around the chamber.


  • The players must play the musical piece in order to open a secret door leading to part 6.
    Note: this requires someone in the group to have music knowledge. If they do not, either have the players consider hiring someone who does, or letting them roll knowledge rolls, stating any who roll high enough they remember lessons in their youth - if you go this route, consider telling the players, they must put points in some music talent in their next level.


The players enter another room of white stone and upon it surface stanzas line the walls. There is a pedestal of chalk and coal. Music plays in the background.


  • Player must listen to the music and draw the right notes on the stanza in order to open a door. Drawing the wrong notes does nothing but prevents the players from going further.
    Note: this requires someone in the group to have music knowledge. If they do not, either have the players consider hiring someone who does, or letting them roll knowledge rolls, stating any who roll high enough they remember lessons in their youth - if you go this route, consider telling the players, they must put points in some music talent in their next level.


Players enter into a room of black stone. Black marble pedestals line either side and upon them busts of marble heads singing opera. The floor is littered with the dead in various stages of rot.


  • The busts’ singing becomes haunting and draining, forcing the player to roll or lose levels or constitutions draining the player of their life force till they die.
  • The busts to do not break by physical or magical attacks except for the lips.
  • If players handle one, the singing grows in intensity and blasts the players with intense music, dealing X D6 sonic damage and causing the player to go deaf.
  • To proceed, the players must use a silence spells or smash the lips.
  • Once all the busts are silenced, a vortex of musical sounds opens on the back wall.


  • The dead bodies can be searched for treasure.


A room of gray stone. Three banshees materialize as the players enter, one holding a harp, one holding a gong and one holding a flute. The banshees attack immediately and have the usual banshee stats with these additional abilities:

  • The harp releases a sharp string every round, forcing a player to roll to dodge or have a limb severed.
  • The gong deals CON damage as it shatters players inside, similar to the drums in part 4.
  • The flute causes the players to dance; roll or become stunned and begin feverishly dancing. The player can do nothing but dance and suffer X D6 damage a round as their body spasms and bends in ways not meant to.

Once the banshees are destroyed, they sing one final song, their voices shattering the pocket realms releasing a million notes at once.

The End:

The players are thrust back into their realm under a hail of musical notes. But maybe the music has granted them all exceptional music abilities as they are now partly infused with the realm.
Maybe the final blast of music has blasted out the ear drums of the locals causing 100s maybe even 1000s to go deaf.
Maybe the players now see everything in music cords or must sings their words for days on end as their minds try to readjust.
Maybe all music becomes nightmarish as any tavern bard or minstrel becomes a source of terrors as the players can no longer listen to normal music, their minds permanently disfigured from the realm.

Either way, have fun and hope to see you again.


You’re both famous but have never met. You tweet something about how you need somebody to cuddle & watch films with in this cold weather and Harry tweets you saying he’ll cuddle you and you can borrow his sweater. Cue the both of you flirting through twitter (public tweets). You finally meet at an award show and take it from there. Including mag articles about the both of you.


(Y/N) (Y/L/N) @(Y/N)(Y/L/N)

Why is it so cold in LA right now?? I moved here for the sunshine!
Someone come cuddle me! Or send me a sweater!
24 Nov


Harry Styles @Harry_Styles

@(Y/N)(Y/L/N) I have a sweater you can borrow… It may be a
bit big though. Maybe I should just come cuddle you myself.
24 Nov


(Y/N) (Y/L/N) @(Y/N)(Y/L/N)

@Harry_Styles Yes, please!!
24 Nov


That was how it started. You had never met Harry before in your life, but you were well aware of him. You just had no idea that he was also well aware of you. You hadn’t been in the industry very long – only a few months at this point – and speaking to more “famous” people was still very strange to you. But you had just released your first solo album and were currently in a whirlwind of TV interviews and live performances and planning for a tour in the next six months. You had met a lot of people in the industry already, but never Harry. Harry almost seemed “too famous” in your mind. He was one of those people that you didn’t get to meet until you had really made it in the industry.

That way of thinking was partially why it took you almost an hour to respond to his tweet when you first saw it. You sat there, in shock, staring at your computer screen and convincing yourself that he had to have been hacked. Why would Harry Styles ever send you a tweet like that? You cringed at your response to him, but you couldn’t think of anything else to say. You weren’t going to ignore him and you certainly weren’t going to turn down an offer (even if it was a joke) for a good cuddle.

You fully expected that to be the end of it, but Harry started replying to your tweets more often. Pretty much every time you tweeted something, Harry was among one of the responses you got.

Keep reading


(You’re welcome)
1. ¿Quieres salir conmigo? = Do you want to go out with me?
2. Me gustas mucho = I like you a lot
3. En tu casa o en la mía? = Your place or mine?
4. ¿Eres modelo? = Are you a model?
5. ¿Me das tu número? = Can I have your number?
6. ¿Te perdiste? El cielo está muy lejos de aquí. = Are you lost? Heaven is far away from here.
7. No estoy borracho, sólo intoxicado por ti. = I’m not drunk, just intoxicated by you.
8. ¿Quieres bailar conmigo? = Do you want to dance with me?
9. Eres tan dulce que me duelen los dientes. = You’re so sweet my teeth hurt.
10. ¿Quieres salir conmigo? = Do you want to go out with me?
11. ¿Te gustaría ir a tomar un café? = Would you like to get a cup of coffee?

(I’ll add some more later)

-Admin Chlo

Kaleidoscope’s going on tour May 23rd to June 2nd, check it out, grab a Volume 3 12″

5/23 Montreal @ La Vitrola w/ Trepanated Heads, Ultra Razzia
5/24 Toronto @ Faith/Void w/ Anti-Vibes, Twin Mask
5/25 Rochester @ Photo City Improv w/ Stress, Cicada, Tech X
5/26 Cleveland - Horrible Fest @ Now That’s Class w/ Warthog, La Misma, Lacerate, Prostitutes, Empty Beings
5/27 Hammond, IN @ Hubbard’s Hangout w/ Liquids, Love Ain’t No Feeling, The Place Holders
5/28 Chicago @ Anneli’s w/ Skin Tags, Judge Judy and the Executioner, Nervous Wreck
5/30 Bloomington @ Jan’s Rooms w/ The Cowboys, Dog, Skull Cult
5/31 Greensboro @ Ask a punk w/ Drugcharge
6/1 DC @ Chill Factory w/ Fried Egg, Rashomon, Diaspora
6/2 Philly @ Ask a punk w/ Rashomon, Blank Spell, Devil Master

Shuffle Songs Tag

Rules: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up and then tag 10 people!

I was tagged by @supermassiveironthrone tftt :D

I have so many playlists on so many different music apps & I use Youtube & Vevo regularly for music too, it’s crazy. So I’m gonna try to pick at least one random song from each place and hope it works out!

1 - Where I Belong - Atlas Genius

2 - drugs - EDEN

3 - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards - Memory Tapes Remix - Tame Impala

4 - Float - The Neighbourhood

5 - The Less I Know The Better - Tame Impala (lol spy a pattern?)

6 - Niji - Shinku Horou (Naruto Shippuden Ending no. 28)

7 - Just Awake - Fear, and Loathing in Las Vegas (Hunter x Hunter 2011 Ending no. 1)

8 - Who’s Gonna Save My Soul - Gnarls Barkley

9 - China Girl - David Bowie

10 - Paradise City - Guns N’ Roses

Alright, so the first half of this list is basically all 2-or-more-years-old Indie/Alternative, which is what I’ve been listening to on the daily (been really into Tame Impala & The Neighbourhood). The J-Rock/J-Pop on this list is sorely underrepresented, since those playlists are my largest by far & all of the songs on them are from various anime op/ed from the 2000-2010s (idc what people say, they’re catchy as hell). Anyways, about a month ago I got really into Gnarls Barkley for like no reason, and then I threw in some Oldies at the end of the list just because…variety? idk

Sorry for the long paragraph, but I felt the need to explain myself for my weird-ass taste. To sum it up, I’ll listen to anything except maybe Country (no offense).

I tag @raspberryglitter @yoichi-the-samurai @lord-ayano @weaqq @shinsyl (I tagged 10 people divided by 2 cuz I got a math test tomorrow so gotta practice whoo)

astra3us  asked:

all the tea asks :^)

i’m hoping these are from the cafe asks :,)

Jasmine Tea : If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
-honestly i just wanna go back to vegas, but i also wanna go to a bunch of places so i could meet my internet friends like LA and Texas
Old English : You’re stranded on an island, who do you bring with you?
-probably seth, i feel like we would be able to work through it
Iced Lemon Tea : Favorite song/band?
-everyone knows my favorite band but my favorite song at the moment is She’s My Collar by the Gorillaz
Green Tea : How tall are you?
-5'8" get fucked ash

Early Grey Tea : The inevitable Zombie Apocalypse is upon us! What’s your plan of action?
-guys i wouldn’t survive, just shoot me
Mint Tea : How do you relax?
-what is “relax”? kidding, i just sleep
Orange Juice : Have you ever had a valentine?
-not like an official one i think
Rose Hip Tea : Describe your first kiss
-danny was over and we were about to drive him home and we were about to leave my room and it was this super awkward peck so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
Herbal Tea : You’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy?
-i usually go for the herbal or floral ones, i can’t really take sweet scents without getting a headache after a few minutes


Summer is around the corner, which means a lot of people will be going on vacation. Here are some places to visit if you’re planning on coming to LA!

1. Americana At Brand

  • Americana is an outdoors mall & it’s a perfect place to walk around when the weather is nice outside. It’s not too big, so you won’t have to worry about being exhausted when you get back to your car. One of my favorite malls & I highly recommend checking it out !

2. Hollywood & Highland

  • This is definitely a tourist spot but I can understand why. You can clearly see the Hollywood sign from here & you can also walk the Hollywood walk of fame on Hollywood blvd. It’s a great place to walk around if you’re visiting!

3. Griffith Park Observatory

  • This is a great place to visit because you can see all of Los Angeles from here and it's free. Admission is completely free & you can go inside the observatory & see all the star exhibits they have. It provides a great view for those who want a good picture overlooking all of LA.


  • LACMA is one of the contemporary art museums in LA and is also home to the famous lamp post installation in front. There are a bunch of pictures of these lamp posts floating around online & they’re honestly so pretty at night. I highly recommend you check this place out.

5. Santa Monica 

  • Santa Monica is also famous for its pier & its shopping. I don’t really suggest going in the water because it’s kind of gross but as long as you walk around the pier, you should be fine. They have numerous attractions & rides for everyone. Also, the shopping on Third Street Promenade is also amazing. You should definitely check it out.

6. The Grove

  • A lot of celebs & YouTubers come here to shop & it’s a great place to walk around. They also have a farmer’s market so it’s neat to check things out. It gets super pretty at night & also a great place to take pictures!

- Pam

Better In Time 5

Better In Time 5

Because I hit 1K today, I’m writing this and also doing blurbs and imagines of any kind! So reuquest anything you want but only for today. And I’m also doing a Q&A if any of you are interested. Today is a big day for me because I started this blog only to share my writing because I love writing so much and had no way of showing it. Tumblr was my outlet. And now I have so much support from you guys and the friends I’ve made on this platform. Thank you so so much! Now, onto the story.

Part 1 2 3 4

One Year and 6 Months Later

“You’re going to have a great show babe.” I said with glossy eyes, fixing Calum’s jean jacket so it fit him nicely. Standing in the cold airport with an abundance of bags surrounding us, I looked into his eyes with a sad smile. His hands laid on my hips and his eyebrows furrowed looking down at our dirty beat up converse on our feet. It seems like everything is perfect once again. We hadn’t had one single fight, and Calum was a great boyfriend once again. At times it was frustrating because of his career taking off, it made it harder to be together and go on dates but I completely understood since I’ve lived through it before. I was more calm and trusting because I knew that if I wasn’t, all the old problems would come back, and I definitely was not in the place to let that happen over again.

“I wish you were coming, I’m going to miss you in Florida.” He said in a raspy voice. It was currently 5 in the morning and the boys were about ready to leave for their upcoming shows in the east coast, while I stayed back in art school here in LA until their west coast shows.

“Well you’ll be back here in no time, and I’ll definitely be at those shows supporting you from backstage.” He looked up in my eyes with realization that he was leaving soon, but I could tell he couldn’t. It still doesn’t get better to look into those brown orbs that are usually so filled with joy and laughter, but now filled with sadness. It still doesn’t get better saying goodbye, or having our last kiss/embrace before seeing each other months later. Skype calls were hard, texting became our backbone, and passing along messages through the boys or crew was a daily thing. But this was our second chance to not let those hardships get the best of us.

Flight 623 is boarding, flight 623 you are now boarding.” The voice on the intercom called out. Calum breathed in heavily and grabbed a hold of his dufflebag and two suitcases. He tried to look anywhere but me, even looking around at the plainly colored walls and uncomfortable navy airport chairs. I huffed, and grabbed his face with both of my hands, meeting his gaze.

“You can not shut down now okay. You can not be sad and upset knowing you have thousands of fans waiting for you and crying when they see you. You’ve changed lives Calum, you’re going to have the time of your life.”

“Yeah but you won’t be there with me. How am I suppose to enjoy the best thing in my life without the best perosn in my life?”

Without another word my lips fell onto his, closing my eyes and savoring it, for I knew it wouldn’t be like this for months. I had absolutely no time to go and visit him at all since school would be taking up the majority of my time. And Calum wouldn’t have any time to visit because he only gets a weekends off but that would be spent getting ready for more gigs and writing things down for the new album. He kissed me back instantly, squeezing my waist between his big bass hands, and we shared a moment just being engufled in each other. We pulled away with our foreheads still touching, him hovering over me a bit, and that’s when I felt the tears rise up in my eyes. Like I said, it never gets any better than the last goodbye.

“I love you. It’s going to be okay. I’ll skype you everyday, text you all through the night, call you any minute I get.”

“Calum we got to go…sorry Y/N, but times ticking…”Ashton ran and tapped Calum’s shoulder, slightly tugging him to follow him to the plane. Calum nodded and kissed my forehead lightly before tugging on his bags again and letting go of me.

“I love you too, wait for me.” He walked away still looking at me head on, and with a smile on my face I said, “You got it dude!”, representing my favorite show, Full House, that Calum and I would watch for days on end on his couch. He laughed a solid real laugh that I haven’t heard since last evening. Calum was too sad to leave me alone here in LA, and since I haven’t heard that beautiful noise in well over 3 months when we were on a continuous fighting loop, it was music to my ears. He licked his lips still smiling, and turned fully around heading off into the tunnel leading him to his plane.

A few weeks had gone by since Calum and the boys had left, and a pit sat in my stomach. It felt like the same things that tore us down were happening once again but at a slower pace. For the first 5 days he called me every hour for about 5 minutes, just to tell me what they were doing, that he misses and loves me, and that he imagines I’m in the crowd to do a good job every night. But after that, calls stopped coming completely. And instead were replaced by a few texts per day, and calls from the boys telling me what Calum wanted to say to me. It frustrated me to the bone. I continiuously screamed in my pillows at night, I broke a few glass cups, and I even refused to sleep in my own room because of everything that reminded me of Calum in there. I wish I could stress to him that we were given a second chance to fix us again, that it shouldn’t be taken lightly, and that we should be cherishing each other because we never know what could happen to each other. But if I did, he’d think I’m absolutely crazy, and leave me for sure. It was killing me inside knowing I had to keep that a secret.

The boys had the time to call me though and catch up to see how I’m doing. It confused me how they could, but Calum couldn’t. But I obliged, and talked to Ashton, Luke and Michael about how sad I was about missing Calum, but also them as well. I’m currently on the phone with Michael, talking about the different venues and of course, the new food he’s tried while being there.

“I ate a pizza that was bigger than my head! The pizza sauce was just as red as my hair!” He exclaimed, and I could clearly hear Fifa being played in the background.

“That sounds so cool Michael, I’m glad you guys are enjoying it.” I tried to sound as cheerful as I could, but I still sighed at the end of that sentence.

“Hey, don’t be so down. We’ll be back on the west coast in no time. Me, Luke, Ashton, you and Calum; the whole gang!” I laughed at him being so uplifting.

“Speaking of Calum is he with you? I’ve tried calling him today but he hasn’t answered.”

“Uh, no. No, he’s not with me right now but I can tell him to call you back when I see him ok?” Suddenly our call was interrupted by a boy screaming at the top of his lungs, and a girl’s giggle in the background.

How could you beat me I’m the best!

Well now we know who really sucks now, don’t we babe?”

My breathe hitched, and I could feel my body temperature go up in embarrassment and anger. Calum had done this before, but with how good our relationship had been going, I had assumed he wouldn’t even dare again, because what we have was too good to give up for a few rounds of pleasure.

“Michael…please tell me that’s Luke and Arzaylea.” I spoke in a stern voice, bringing my phone closer to my ear, and clutching the blanket draped over my crossed legs. I heard Michael standing up, and then a door closed signaling he was alone now.

“Look Y/N-“

“Michael don’t you dare fabricate anything. What is going on, is that…is that Calum with you?” I began to cry out not even realize the tears had built up in me and were daring to spill out of my eyes.

“Then I’m just going to be honest, because that’s just how I am. Y/N…Calum has been cheating on you for about 5 months now. Even before we left. He’s been seeing someone else.” Michael shot back to me in an almost angry voice, but it didn’t seem angry at me, but angry at him. I could not imagine the guilt he held in for having to keep this from me and having to keep Calum’s dirty little secret. Yes, he has done this before. But I always found out through news articles and fans who would tweet things about it. But this time I found out through an actual friend of mine, and the hurt seemed ten times greater. I should’ve known when Calum had suggested I stayed behind this part of the tour. I only agreed because it seemed like the most reasonable solution for our situation, and I thought it would work the best for us. But no. Calum has done it, once again.

“W-why…how-how did you keep this from me! Why Michael!”

“Because I couldn’t bear to hurt you Y/N! I couldn’t let my best friend down like that. You’re like the most beautiful, kind-hearted, lively, joyful girl out there, knowing what Calum was doing behind your back hurt me just as much as it’s hurting you right now! I just…I didn’t want to hurt you either.” I brought my hand to my mouth a cried out in it. A muffled noise came through Michael’s side of the phone, and he stayed silent. My chest felt like a ton of bricks was dumped in it. My lungs felt like someone was squeezing onto them trying to suck every last bit of air out of me. My body felt like I was being dumped in boiling water and held under to feel the burning pain. Again…again! This was happening once again! All I could think was what could I have done wrong a second time around. Why did Calum still not want me after giving him almost 2 years of no fights and all the love I could ever pour out for someone else. Why was I still not good enough for him…

“Y/N…Y/N please say something…” He uttered in a small voice.

“W…Why wasn’t I-I good enough for himmmm?” I cried into the phone.

“What else could he want from me? I gave him everything! We never fought, we always talked things out and told each other everything, I was always honest with him, I did everything I could, gave him everything I could, told him everything I could and yet he had to find love in someone else!” I even knew who the girl was. It struck me ten times harder than the first time I found out, knowing that even after I physically fixed everything that was wrong with our relationship, he still ran after her.

“Like I said, you’re this beautiful girl that I couldn’t possibly hurt too. I’ve been meaner to him because of this. I only talked to him on stage, not even after to congradulate him on a good show. Nia does it for him.” My predictions were right, it was her once again.

“I don’t call him to hang out on days off, and the other two have been trying to distance from him too because they agree with me that what he’s doing is pathetic and childish. I tried to keep it from you, I tried to lie to you a hundred times and I’m so sorry for doing that to you only to protect him. I’m done doing that now. He doesn’t deserve it, you have every right to know what’s  going on.” I tried to wipe the waterfalls of tears away but no matter how much I tried they seemed to keep overflowing. Even the banket began to get soaked underneath all my tears.

“Listen, we have a weekend off soon. Why don’t I come down to visit you and we can have some fun yeah? The other boys don’t even need to know it can just be a getaway from my awful schedule and best friend and a getaway from all this drama.” When he said this, it stopped my sobbing, but not necessarily my tears. It didn’t seem like a bad idea to me. I was very close with Michael, and he was someone I could be super comfortable with anywhere at anytime. I wasn’t afraid to try new things with him or be a daredevil, I wasn’t afraid of what life threw at me if I was with him.

“Y-yeah I guess. It sounds nice…but wouldn’t Calum find out?”

“I’m going to be honest with you again Y/N…I don’t think Calum would find out anything. He’s too preoccupied.” Sometimes I loved that Michael was so honest, but times like this is when I hate it. Another gut wrenching blow to the stomach once he said that sentence.

“Then okay…”

“Great. I’ll make it a good weekend for you okay? No Calum, nothing you don’t like or want to do. I’ll spend any penny I got on you-“

“Michael no no, you don’t have to do that for me.” I laughed slightly astonished by his outburst of a response.

“But I want to. All I want to do is make you happy.”

I smiled in my phone. One weekend with Michael wouldn’t do much to alter Calum and I’s relationship…right?

Michael flew down to LA after about 2 more weeks and was staying at a hotel close to where I was living. At 11 AM he woke me up by calling my phone numerous times and banging on my door. He took us out for a late breakfast first at a place I had recommended to him, and then at around 2 we visited the LACMA Museum since it was my favorite place to wind down and enjoy art. Michael hadn’t been, so we spent more time than an average person would there. He stopped at every piece reading all about and taking picture after picture for ‘memories’, as he said.

Once we stepped outside to view the light poles, we saw that the sun was setting and it was getting darker by the hour. I clung onto one of the poles, and had Michael take photos of me.

I jumped down laughing and looking at the pictures which were really good, and I even set one as my background. Not a lot of people were out here at this part of the museum, so Michael and I just strolled side by side looking up at the lights.

“Today has been so fun Michael, thank you for coming down here today and trying to help me feel better.” I put my hands in my jacket, trying to keep them warm against the dropping temperature out here.

“It was, without a doubt, one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. I’m happy I got to spend it with you.” I smiled and looked down, sucking in a breathe and beginning to rub my shoulders.

“Oh are you cold? Here, let me…” and he stopped us in our tracks in the middle of the light exhibit and began rubbing up and down my arms, trying to extract some heat.

“Give me your hands too.” and I took mine out laying them in his. His hands were surprisingly very warm despite him wearing only a black muscle tank and ripped black jeans. His eyes found mine, and his warmth techniques stopped, but he wouldn’t let go of my hand. My breathe hitched in my throat, and my jawline sharpened.

“You look really beautiful under this lighting.” He finally uttered after the long silence.

“Thank you…” I looked down embarrassed, and his hand stretched the falling pieces of hair out of my face making me look up at him. And almost a second later, I felt his warm lips adorn mine. You would think it would be this perfect moment. The lights, the almost set sun, the view, the best person. But I just couldn’t feel anything back towards him like I did for Calum. No spark, no flame, no butterflies. The stupid thing was…I started to kiss back.

What the hell was I getting myself into.

Thank you guys so much for the 1K like I still can’t get over how big this blog has grown for me. In 3 months I’ve made so many new friends, and have gained a support system for something I love doing. Writing has been a passion of mine and now I get to share it with you. Thank you so so much

anonymous asked:

what is going on with ash and cl?

5 weeks ago Ash Stymest’s ex-wife Maille Doyle posted this on her snapchat 

wrist tattoo spells out Lee Chae Lin =  이  채  린

singer porcelain black was doing a fan Q&A on twitter and in the most random way she said this

the second tweet has since been deleted

he doesn’t have social media, so he’s only ever in paparazzi pics with current girlfriend lily-rose depp, johnny depp’s daughter, here they are recently,look at his wrist…

the last time they were spotted was April 2015 at CL’s place in LA

judging by stella’s clothes it’s obviously from the same day, and the table they’re sitting on is in the background


Important Facts About LA, AKA National City

So since Supergirl takes place in National City, there are some things you need to know about LA for fic writing purposes. There are so many small, but instrumental details about LA that just kinda get glossed over, or treated like it’s New York or something. So I’ve lived on the West Side for my entire life—Santa Monica, West Wood, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Brentwood, etc area. I went to school in the San Fernando Valley (yes, when people talk about “the Valley” or “Valley Girls” this is it. Shut up I am not a valley girl), and I work in the Arts District downtown. I know a fair amount—although still not all of it. So here’s some fun facts about LA for your fics because oh my god are some things not talked about or just glossed over that you need to know. 

Keep reading

songs that make me feel like i’m floatingthe title is pretty self explanatory: this is just a bunch of songs that are very trippy and, in my opinion, go really well together! just relax.

PS: i tried to include an italian song, hoping it doesn’t weird anyone out.

1. autotonsorialist//twiabp
2. dentro i miei vuoti//subsonica
3. little motel//modest mouse
4. smoke//sorority noise
5. among the wildflowers//the hotelier
6. daisy//brand new
7. people as places as people//modest mouse
8. nobody, not even the rain//la dispute