5 pickup

Person A, flirting: You are like my heart monitor

Person B: What, I don’t have my own heart because I’m cold and hollow inside so I need your overbearingly passionate one to replicate?

Person A: I meant to say we share the same heartbeat but did you just compliment me?

Person B: No, definitely not.

anonymous asked:

Nordics! Best pick Up line! Go!

Norway: “Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears..”

Iceland: “Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine…”(He actually dropped his drink)

Finland: “If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber!…hehe..”

Sweden: “….You’re so beautiful/handsome that you made me forget my pickup line…”

Denmark: ”Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material! Ha!” 

Black Coffee And Bad Pickup Lines; Chapter 5

Chapter 5: You know, if I were you…

A/N: I’M BAAAA-AAACKKKKKKKKKK! First up, I am SO. SORRY. It’s been a while I know, but my exams are officially over and I don’t go on holiday for another two weeks (ish) SO EXPECT REGULAR (ISH) UPDATES! Again, I am sorry if this chapter feels rushed but I wrote this at 3 am this morning and I’ve been suffering with a bit of writer’s block on how to get from here to where I want this story to go (ideas are always welcomed whole heartedly, and any used are always fairly credited). Thank you for everyone who’s stuck with me this far, I love all of you so so much X

((rated T for language))

Over the next two weeks, Moana’s visits to Lalotai increased to the point where she spent every lunch break there. And yes, it was just for the coffee. At least, that was what she told herself.

So the day that she didn’t show up at her usual time, Maui was definitely confused, if not a little disappointed. Where could she be? What if she was ill, or had been involved in some horrific accident? What if she’d been mugged in the street, or had suddenly been diagnosed with something terrible, incurable, and he’d never ever see her again? What if she had died?!…or what if she just… didn’t want to see him? Maui’s head spun as he subconsciously served a young woman. She had wavy black hair that reached just below her shoulders, and wore a light blue vest and khaki shorts.

She looked tired, and he watched as she collected her drink- a large double shot espresso- and slipped into one of the empty booths lining Lalotai’s deep purple walls. She pulled out her phone and browsed lazily, her eyes flicking upwards to the door every now and again.

The sound of the bell on the door ringing pulled Maui’s eyes from the stranger, and his heart skipped a couple beats as a familiar young woman all but fell through the glass door, her hair obscuring her face, frazzled by the wind. She straightened up quickly and fixed her mane, exhaling and casually joining the queue as if the whole cafe hadn’t just watched her practically barrel roll through the door like a maniac.

Maui’s eyes flickered to the clock as she appeared in front of him.

“17 minutes late, Waialiki,” He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes playfully.

“Aww, thought I wasn’t gonna show up?” Moana smirked, folding her arms across her chest.

Maui chuckled, shaking his head, “The usual?”

She laughed, “Do you even need to ask anymore?”

He moved to grab one of the cardboard cups behind him when Moana interrupted,

“Aaaaactually, I’ll be eating- uh, drinking in today,” There was a slightly evil glint in her eye, Maui noted, as she smiled smugly at him. She had caught him out. Fuck.

“But how will I-,”

“You’ll figure something out,”

Maui huffed, but the sly wink she gave him made it hard to stay irritated. And, besides, if Moana was ‘drinking in’, he could stare at her for much longer than he usually could. Wait, no, that sounded stalkery. He could observe- uh, survey? Glance? He could glance at her every now and then? Yeah, that sounded better.

Now that he had that cleared up, Maui searched the counter hurriedly for something to write on. He wasn’t going to be beaten that easily. His face lit up as his eyes landed on the folded stack of white napkins, and he scribbled something on it in sharpie marker before handing it to Kate along with the order- black coffee, two sugars.

A minute later, a large circular mug on a small square black tray was pushed across the counter towards Moana. She looked up to meet Kate’s eyes, who nodded curtly at the bright smile the smaller woman bore. Their short greetings were getting more familiar, Moana thought, more (dare she say) friendly; at first all she could get out of the tall ginger was a grunt and the slightest moment of eye contact.

Moana’s hands moved to pick up the tray, but she paused when a familiar sharpie marker scrawl caught her attention. She moved the mug slightly so she could read whatever Maui had managed to come up with today.

Curly- You know, if I were you, I’d be dating me right now.

Moana was slightly taken aback; she was used to overly sexual cheesy lines, not almost-sincere date-y ones. He still managed to add his own egotistical flair, though. Moana smiled. It’d be unlike him to not be so overtly confident.

She met his expectant eyes briefly, smiled, before picking up her tray and sliding it onto the table occupied by the young woman in khaki shorts. Maui watched as the ebony haired girl stood and hugged Moana quickly, the tiredness in her eyes seemingly disappearing. They sat opposite each other, falling into a conversation he couldn’t quite hear over Lalotai’s constant buzz, sipping their drinks casually.

Her eyes met his every now and then, though, and the girl in the khaki shorts turned to catch a quick glance before turning back to Moana excitedly, laughing. He hoped that was good laughter.

He carried on with his shift, just as he normally would, trying to pretend that the girl that occupied most of his mind wasn’t sat a few torturous steps away. The bell on the door rang again for the first time since Moana had made her entrance- it was a particularly slow day for Lalotai, which was not a common (but definitely not unwelcome) situation. The young man completely avoided the counter, however, and made a beeline for the booth that Moana and the khaki shorts girl sat in. Maui’s eyes narrowed as he watched Moana’s eyes light up at the sight of him. He spoke to them briefly, grinning at Moana before looking hopefully at her friend. Khaki Shorts stared up at him for a while, saying something. He deflated slightly and smiled awkwardly, rubbed the back of his neck and left.

The two girls watched him slump down the high street until he had disappeared around a corner. Moana turned back from the windows and slammed her hands down on the table, speaking sternly to her friend. Khaki Shorts said something back, and Mo’s face softened. They talked for a bit before getting up to leave. He moved quickly to take their empty cups, but she met him halfway, holding their rubbish on a tray. Maui smiled before going to take the tray off of her, but her small fingers stayed curled around the plastic edges. They stood in the middle of the coffee shop, grasping a flimsy tray between them, and Maui couldn’t think of a more idealistic situation to find himself in. Khaki Shorts raised an eyebrow, murmuring something about waiting outside. He took a deep breath, and-

“So, about the line earlier- I was wondering… if you’re free tomorrow nigh-,”

“I, uh, I can’t,”

His face fell considerably, and Moana scrambled to better word what she had just said, because his expression softly broke her heart into one million tiny pieces.

“I mean!- I wish I could, but David has been asking Nani out for the past six months, goddamnit, but she turns him down every time because she’s either working or staying home with Lilo and it’s about goddamn time she gave herself a freaking break, so I said I’d babysit, I…” Moana trailed off slowly at the blank look on Maui’s face, “that went completely over your head, huh?”

“The skinny guy from before asked out Khaki Shorts but she works a lot and has to look after… either a dog or a child? So you volunteered to look after it instead,”

She, not it, is a child. Her name’s Lilo, and she’s nine. But yeah, that’s pretty much it,” Moana smiled up at him, almost dreamily. She was suddenly aware that somehow they were stood even closer than before; the tray firmly wedged between them being the only thing stopping her from falling into his chest. She pulled away reluctantly, finally letting go of the tray and stepping back. Maui blinked and stepped back also, laying the tray on the counter behind him.

“I, um, better get back to Nani, she’s waiting to catch up to David…but, ah, here,” She clumsily thrust a crumpled napkin into his palm, turning on her heel and pushing through the doorway. She caught one last glance at him through the glass window.

Maui stood frozen, dumbfounded. He looked down at the balled up napkin in his hand and, with a crushing realisation, saw that it was the one he gave her with her drink. Gods, how stupid could he be to think she’d keep all of his stupid little notes?

Clenching his fist, Maui strode towards the bin to throw the napkin away when long, thin pale fingers wrapped around his wrist. Kate stared at him with wide amber eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Ka- wait, what?”

What the fuck are you doing?! You spend all of this fucking time pining after this girl and the first chance you get of actually getting anywhere with her you try to LITERALLY throw it away?” Her sharp face softened slightly, an unusual occurrence, and she loosened her tight grip on his arm, “I think the chick likes you, Maui. Seriously, you know I wouldn’t say anything if I didn’t think you had a chance,”

Maui stared at her, gobsmacked, “I- Kate…what?”

She rolled her eyes, snatching the napkin from his hand, “Oh my GOD you didn’t even realise,”. She unfurled it and revealed another person’s handwriting. It was smaller than his, and neater, the letters long and swirling, like open water. First was a mishmash of numbers, which he then realised was a phone number. Next to that was a note.

Call me? -Curly x

GREAT ToS Pickup Lines

“Are you a witch, cuz you’re smokin’!”
“Vote me guilty for my love for you.”
“Are you a Serial Killer? Cuz you stole my heart!”
“Not even a Disguiser could replicate my love for you!”
“Are you an Arsonist? Cuz you light up my world!”
“I’m an Investigator, and need to do a thorough search.”
“If I was an Amnesiac, I’d make sure to remember you.”
“I revealed myself as Mayor… Now that’s 3 to 1 on if we should date. Where do you want to go?”
“Hypothetical situation: Your boyfriend and I were transported while you were going at it.”
“Like the Vigilante, I’d die for you.”
“I wouldn’t go on alert just in case I could see your face at night.”
“You must be the Medium, because you’ll always be my target.”
“You know… The Medium’s Curse can be lifted by a true love’s kiss!”
“My love for you is stronger than my hate for the Framer.”

ew.com
'Outlander' future: Starz having 'productive discussions,' says CEO
Starz CEO Chris Albrecht didn't put Outlander fans out of their misery today by saying there will be a season…

Starz CEO Chris Albrecht didn’t put Outlander fans out of their misery today by saying there will be a season 5 and 6 pickup, but he did say he’s having “productive discussions about the future of the show” with Sony TV.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” Albrecht said when asked about a possible renewal of the show. He reminded reporters who gathered Friday for the annual Television Critics Association that Diana Gabaldon has written eight books in the Outlander series and has a ninth on the way.

“We have joined the legions of fans of Outlander around the world,” he said. “Our biggest problem is we don’t kill Caitriona [Balfe] and Sam [Heughan] along the way. The two of them are fantastic and deserve every bit of the accolades they have received.”

ew.com
'Outlander' future: Starz having 'productive discussions,' says CEO
Starz CEO Chris Albrecht didn't put Outlander fans out of their misery today by saying there will be a season…

LYNETTE RICE January 12, 2018 AT 02:49 PM EST

Starz CEO Chris Albrecht didn’t put Outlander fans out of their misery today by saying there will be a season 5 and 6 pickup, but he did say he’s having “productive discussions about the future of the show” with Sony TV.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” Albrecht said when asked about a possible renewal of the time-traveling drama. He reminded reporters who gathered Friday for the annual Television Critics Association that Diana Gabaldon has written eight books in the Outlander series and has a ninth on the way.

“We have joined the legions of fans of Outlander around the world,” he said. “Our biggest problem is we don’t kill Caitriona [Balfe] and Sam [Heughan] along the way. The two of them are fantastic and deserve every bit of the accolades they have received.”

Earning a two-season order is especially helpful to executive producer Ronald D. Moore and his band of merry producers, given the epic amount of time and planning needed to make the time-traveling series. If Sassenachs will recall, season 3 and 4 were ordered at the same time.

But as EW has learned, the challenge is figuring out how to adapt each book for future seasons. Given the depth of Gabaldon’s rich narrative, is it better two devote two seasons to one book?  There’s also the question of Moore’s continued involvement. The man’s a brand now. How much time will he be able to devote to the series when he’s in such demand elsewhere?

Production on season 4 is already underway. In fact, Starz will air a teaser from the first episode this Sunday night.

Outlander, which was 2017’s second most viewed premium scripted series among women behind Game of Thrones, expected to return in October.

Imagine: Thomas couldn’t sleep at night because he couldn’t stop thinking about you

9 PM: I’m going to sleep
10 PM: *still staring at the ceiling, thinking about you*
11 PM: *chuckles quietly, thinking about you*
12 AM: *you you you*
1 AM: *thinking of your dazzling eyes, beautiful smile*
2 AM: *couldn’t get you out of my mind!*
3 AM: *I wish I could be with you*
4 AM: *oh Y/N, how can you be so perfect*
5 AM: *thinking of pickup lines then doze of to sleep*
7 AM: School

Creepypasta #1042: If You See Two Kids On Highway 101, Don't Stop

Length: Medium

The 101 is just a trickle by the time it winds north of Forks. Much of it does not have cell coverage, and in the middle of the night, the darkness is so pervasive that it only steps back a little from the high-beams. Its seems darkest that most near mile post 199.

~

Taillight reflectors shined through the rolling 2:00AM fog. A car was there, an old dusty 1980’s station wagon driven through the wider part of Hell. The windows were all dusted over despite a heavy downpour ten minutes ago. It appears it was in a crash that had forced the driver’s door open along with the hood. Standing by the car were two kids not more than ten, the boy in a yellow Hulkamanic! t-shirt and the girl in a pink pastel shirt and under jean overalls. The girl, maybe a bit older, waved to get my attention. I leaned over and rolled down the window just a crack. I learned the hard way to never trust strangers.

“Our car’s broken, mister” the girl said as her brother began to cry, “our parents were picked up by a hitchhiker and we haven’t seen them all day. You gotta help us, mister.”

“Hold on. First, what are your names?” The way their eyes gazed back at me reminded me of dead fish on the market. The son, crying moments before, now spoke boldly to me.

“Our parents are MISSING! You got to let us into your car!” There was an uneasy energy to the boy. He didn’t blink when you were speaking to him.

“I can stay here and watch over you.”

“Just let us into your car, PLEASE, mister,” the sister said as she tugged at the old-fashioned handle of my car. Both seemed seemed to wonder why the hell I wasn’t complying.

“There is no reason for anyone to enter or exit my car.” 

The son tried for the back door and would have pulled it open if I didn’t slam down the thumb lock. I did the same for the others. I have been in road jumps before; just because I saw two kids now could mean that others were hiding elsewhere, especially in the woods

The sister began to cry and pound on the window.

“You gotta let us in! We heard growling and we can’t shut our door after the crash! They’re bears! They’re gonna get in and eat us, you gotta let us in!”

“If there is a bear, I will handle it.” 

The boy yanked on the same back passenger side door.

“We haven’t eaten or drank anything all day!” I held up an evidence bag of cherry tomatoes and two bottles of distilled water. They just stared blankly at me, as if doing their best to hide their annoyance. “Are you allergic? Do you want just the water?” 

Nothing. I shifted gears. “Were you stranded all day?” No answer. “If you were, you would have been caught in that rain shower. Your vehicle is dusty. Where did you drive from?”

Keep reading

Classic Guitar Origins

Part 1 - Fender Stratocaster

 Out of the number of models in the Fender catalogue, the Fender Stratocaster is by a far one of the most iconic. Many musicians with an integral part in music history have played the Stratocaster or “Strat”, including Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Mark Knopfler, Pete Townshend, Nile Rogers, Eric Johnson, David Gilmour, and John Frusciante to name just a few.

  In this instalment of Classic Guitar Origins, the timeline of the Stratocaster from the 50s till the 80s will be mapped out and explained. 

 The Stratocaster was first fully designed in 1954 by Leo Fender and Freddie Tavares (the name ‘Stratocaster’ was suggested by Fender sales chief Don Randall in 1953), however ideas for a successor to follow Fender’s Telecaster started to surface as early as 1951, and work on the new pickups and bridge were in full swing by late 1952. Prior to the Stratocaster being conceived, the two flagship models for Fender were the Telecaster and the Precision Bass. Tavares drew up the idea for the Stratocaster by combining the features of the Telecaster and P Bass.

 The features of the first Strat are as follows:

  • A single piece ash body
  • Two tone sunburst finish
  • Single piece “D” profile maple neck
  • 7.25” radius fingerboard
  • 3 hand wound single coil pickups with a 3 way pickup selector switch
  • (Unbranded) Kluson Deluxe tuners
  • Contoured body shape
  • Tremolo system (which had issues)
  • Original RRP was $249.50 (with tremolo) and $229.50 (without tremolo)

The Stratocaster’s iconic contoured body was first suggested by guitarist Rex Gallion, as the Telecaster had a more square body that was uncomfortable for the guitarist to play.
 Originally the sunburst finish on the Stratocaster only consisted of two colours; ‘Salem’ (black) on the outside and ‘Canary Yellow’ on the inside. This gave the guitar a more high end look.

 After initial release the Stratocaster wasn’t received very well by guitarists. Most musicians in the Rock N Roll scene at the time played flat top acoustics or hollow body electrics by big companies such as Gibson or Gretsch. The tremolo also didn’t work very well at first, and took some trial and error in order to get it to the point where it was useful.
 The Stratocaster was worked and re-worked until perfected in 1957. Between initial release and 1957, the ash body was replaced by an alder body, the neck profile was briefly changed to a V and medium V shape, and hardware elements such as the string trees and knobs continued evolving.

 1958 saw the introduction of the three tone sunburst finish, which featured more red hues along with the yellow and black seen in the two tone sunburst. A U shape profile also replaced the V profile for the neck.
 In 1959 the neck changed from maple to rosewood on many of the models. The pickguard was also changed from white single ply to a 3 ply celluloid nitrate pickguard.

 By 1965 Fender was sold to CBS for $13 million, which to many marked the end if an era and the beginning of more mass produced products. This can be seen in the Stratocaster by the fact that by late 1964 the headstock logo changed, and pearloid inlay dots replaced clay. The headstock size and shape also changed dramatically from the mid 60s to mid 70s.

 In 1968 the tuners changed from Kluson Deluxe to F-style, and a thicker polyurethane finish started to replace the original nitrocellulose.

  The 70s brought along more change for the Stratocaster. A three-bolt neck plate and a “bullet” truss rod adjustment system were introduced in 1971, in 1977 the 5-way pickup selector switch was introduced, and during the 70s the overall contouring was made to be less dramatic.

  In the 80s however, Fender marketing director Dan Smith aimed to bring the Stratocaster back to pre-CBS historic standard, featuring a smaller headstock and 4 bolt neck plate.

 The Stratocaster endured much change throughout its history, however it still remains one of the most iconic and classic guitars in the world.

curvishsundown  asked:

Marissa, or Sundown (you decide) for the mini playlist thing! :D

I’ll do ya a solid and do both. Howzat? ;)

M - Mirror Mirror Part II | Casey Lee Williams & Jeff Williams, RWBY Vol. 3
A - Alien Manifestation | NieR: Automata
R - Rivers in the Desert | Lyn, Persona 5
I - It’s Dangerous to Go Alone | Starbomb
S - Sirius | Eir Aoi
S - Stand Up | Twill
A - Awakening | Xenoblade Chronicles 2

S - Shadow of the Lowlands | Yasunori Mitsuda, Xenoblade Chronicles 2
U - Uncontrollable | Hiroyuki Sawano, Xenoblade Chronicles X
N - A New Chapter of Trials! | Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice
D - Dreamy Somnom Labyrinth (fast version) | Yoko Shimomura, Mario & Luigi: Dream Team
O - The Other Promise | Yoko Shimomura, Kingdom Hearts 2
W - Wake Up! | AAA
N - N64 Rainbow Road | Mario Kart 8


(Ask based on this)