5 feet or shorter

okay but do you ever just take a moment to think about andrew minyard? he’s like five (5) feet tall. five. he’s shorter than neil. he’s tiny. but he’s one of the best exy goalkeepers out there. the ravens tried to score 150 times and andrew only missed 13.

no, listen dude, listen. the goal is really big and andrew (5 feet tall) only missed 13 points out of 150 from the best exy team. HE’S SO TINY CAN YOU IMAGINE THE TALENT INSIDE THIS SMALL FRAME HOLY SHIT i admire him so much, woah

anonymous asked:

What are your heigh headcanons for David and Gwen? :0

So other people have put incredible amounts of thought into this and come to the conclusion that everyone on this show is a terrifying gremlin or giant, just fucking abominations of nature. I decided not to go that route because I have a fucking fic to write and things would get weird and complicated if David was 14 feet tall, so comparing him and Gwen to the other adults on the show (which “Parent’s Day” was awesome for, because we now have so many more points of reference) —

— I think we can fairly safely put David somewhere in the “average” category, maybe verging on shorter than average. And when he stands up straight (rare, the lil hunchback), he’s a bit taller than Gwen. (She’d totally be taller than him in heels though and holy shit I wanna cry that’s so fucking cute.)

So the average height for American men is 5 feet 10 inches, which means I’d probably peg him somewhere around 5′9″ (the average height for Canadian men, so if you hc him as Canadian like I do then YAY!), 5′10″ if you’re feeling generous and 5′8″ if you love the idea of him being a shorty.

Average height for American women is about 5 feet 4 inches, but since Gwen’s clearly not that much shorter than David, I like to peg her at around 5′6″ - 5′7″ — meaning she’s a bit taller than average. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of images of her standing by other women for comparison, but it fits well enough for me to be comfortable with it.

(Oh, for all y’all non-Americans, that’s, uh … around 175.3 cm for David and between 167.6 - 170.2 cm for Gwen.)

The Great Shift: Brothers?

So The Great Shift made coming home from college a bit weird. I’ve always been the little brother/kid of the family. My brother had graduated med school years ago and was always telling me I’d have to grow up when I finally got to college. I had always looked up to him both literally and figuratively! He was a solid 5 and a half feet tall, while I was always two inches shorter. Now a days I still look up to him, although it’s more metaphorical. You see, while 90% of the world’s population switched bodies with random people, the other 10% kept their own bodies. 

My brother was one of the lucky ones unaffected by the shift, which was a good thing for the local hospital.  My brother had been so busy post-shift with numerous injuries coming into the hospital. Everything from car accidents to people falling down stairs happened, when people found themselves in a completely foreign environment.  Every night he’d come to the same bar just to unwind, which is where he first saw me in my new body. 

“Mom and dad said you’d be here,” I smiled, putting my drink down. “Do I know you?” he asked a little intimidated. I snickered. “Come on bro, I don’t even get a hug when I come back from school?” He looked awestruck. “No… little bro, is that- it can’t be. You’re…”  I laugh, my new deep and wholesome laugh. “Yeah I know! You did tell me to grow up in college.” It was his turn to laugh. “Didn’t think you’d take me so literally! Wait. Is that a drink?! You’re underage! What are you doing?”  

“Relax bro! The bartender didn’t even card me and if she had she’d see this.” I take out this body’s driver’s license. My brother takes the card and says, “Wait this guy your in is from Texas? And he’s 6′8!?”  I laugh again as I take the card back. “Yeah, and he’s already 21, how great is that!?”

“This is all a lot to take in,” my brother said. “I need a drink.” I shrug. “Here, have mine. It’s already my 3rd and I’m not even buzzed! The rest of college is gonna be great.”

“You’re 3rd!? That’s it I’m driving you home right now!” He says protectively.

“Alright fine, but it’s gonna be awfully cramped in your smart car,” I pout putting an arm around him. “By the way, I already saw mom and dad in their new college athlete bodies. How’s it feel to be the shortest one in the family?”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m still driving you home and making sure you don’t get into trouble. It feels exactly the same. Now get your big butt in the car!”

I figured Dante would be pretty tall but not THAT tall. 190cm is equivalent to being 6′2″ (6 feet, 2 inches). I guessed that he’d be at least a couple inches shorter, or at least 5′11″ (5 feet, 11 inches. Or 182cm).
I’m only 165cm, which is equivalent to being 5′4″ (5 feet, 4 inches). So I would probably be as tall as Lady or the impostor Patty Lowell (The woman standing to Trish’s right, who tried to take the real Patty’s inheritance in episode 1).

For The Greater Good - Part 9

A/N: I AM BACK FROM THE DEAD! Hello lovelies! I am so sorry I’ve been MIA for the past few days, I just recently moved into my dorm! Unpacking and finding classes has been demanding and a bit stressful, so it’s taken me a while to update, but I’m back! And FINALLY! So, here’s the CONCLUSION, to For The Greater Good :)

Title: For The Greater Good - Part 9 “Past, Present, and Future.”

Pairing: Ryan Haywood x Reader

Word Count: 3,500+

TW: none

masterlist



“Alright class, today it looks like some of the Creators are going to be- GAVIN FREE TO YOUR SEAT!- reviewing your progress today with some fun little activities and challenges! So be on your very best behavior!” Ms. Freitas trilled in her usual sing-song voice.

You turned lazily to your side, jutting a finger towards your mouth in a gagging motion once your eyes connected with Jeremy’s. He mimicked your disgust with a hand playing at his throat in a mock choke, causing you both to share a snicker.

There was an instant uproar of voices weaving together as students lifted from their seats, scraping their chairs against the floors in a sloppy, unnecessary volume. You were quick to locate Jeremy and Gavin, those idiots being the only people who made life bearable on the outside world.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey to that other anon! I'm butch and I'm shorter than 5 feet tall and honestly most of the other butches I know are around my height or at least shorter than their girlfriends lol ! U are not alone

more tiny butches and tall graceful femmes 2k17

anonymous asked:

Me and my friend are really super-duper short (like 5 ft and below short), so I was wondering how the guys would go about teasing short!reader?

((awwwh, adorable~ i love short people > w < ))

you: *is 5 feet tall or shorter*

2p!america: *constantly using your head/ shoulder as an arm rest* whoa, hey, we fit together perfectly~ *laughs*

2p!china: *is only 5 feet, 5 inches tall so he doesn’t have much room to talk* you are so small and adorable i could just eat you up. *leans in* …or i could just eat you out? *smirks*

2p!england: *is also pretty short so he doesn’t have much room to talk either* you know, darling, i’ve always fancied petite women~ what’s not to love about a tiny girl i could just hold in my arms forever? *creepy grin slowly appears* and ever and ever and ever…

2p!france: so like, how do you reach cabinets?

2p!russia: oh, look at you. *bends down to your height* …what a little munchkin.

2p!italy: *is also kinda short* hehe, look. we’re eye level! *kisses his finger and presses it to your cheek*

2p!japan: *also short* it’s time we show people that height doesn’t matter when it comes to combat skills.

2p!germany: *is trying so hard not to laugh* …how’s the weather down there

2p!canada: damn… *mumbles* you’re kinda cute…

2p!romano: oh honey, we need to get you a pair of stilettos.

2p!prussia: *would never tease you about anything, especially not your height*

Creepypasta #1014: I Lost Contact With Our Arctic Research Team

Length: Super long

I’m sharing details of a confidential exploration of the southern ice cap. I was the radio point of contact back on the mainland, I can’t disclose which country our contact point was in because it might give enough clue to identify which group this was linked to and trace this back to me.

Let me start at the beginning. Our organization’s goal was to research the effects of global warming and global climate change on the southern ice cap. We mostly focused on satellite images, tracking the shrinking of glaciers on the outermost edges. We used these to document the speed of changes, predict time lines and compare with the temperature averages globally. Generally, pretty boring stuff.

While going over the satellite data we found an anomalous glacier, it was a strange color, darker than most, almost ashy. This glacier was also shrinking more rapidly than ones along the same latitude. The most likely explanation was that it must be located near some sort of volcanic activity, but the area was not one where one would expect to find volcanic activity. There were no fault lines around it, no seismic activity reported in the region.

A few months went by and this drifted around a bit until it went up the command chain to the head of operations who managed to get grant money approved to send an expedition to the glacier to harvest samples.

A research crew was sent out and returned with samples of the dark ice and some interesting pictures. Sure enough, the ice was ashy grey. It was as if there was a heavy sediment embedded in the ice, but the ice on the surface had to be very old, frozen for a very long time.

Cores were collected at regular intervals from the southern most tip of the glacier all the way to the point where it reached the ocean.

Upon looking into the contents of the ice we were quite shocked. We expected to find volcanic mineral deposits, rich in sulfur and hydrogen sulfide but instead what we found seemed more like organic matter. It looked like frozen cells, but not plant cells like a plankton or algae. There was no cell wall on these, they were very unusual.

It was decided that a more extensive investigation including a remote submarine should be sent to further explore the area and take cores from below the surface, as well as see if any kind of ecosystem exists in the water.

It was almost a year before enough grant money could be gathered to launch this extremely expensive expedition. During this time the glacier continued to erode away at an unnatural rate.

When our expedition team arrived they reported a darkening of the water in the immediate vicinity of the glacier. It was a cloudy grey, much like one would expect from volcanic activity near the surface, but the bottom should be deep enough that any normal volcanic sediment would have dispersed at this point. There shouldn’t be enough sediment to cover that large an area with such a heavy film.

Water samples were collected, and early on-site examination found more of the cell-like structures within the water.

The boat was anchored onto a nearby icy plane that was receding much slower than dark ice and a base camp was established. They still wanted to launch the remote submersible, but there was worry that the visibility would be too poor to allow for much visual data collection, they would have to use sonar to navigate beneath the glacier and collect samples carefully.

During the first few nights the crew reported on some fascinating noises coming from the dark glacier in the distance. They said it sounded sort of like normal sounds of fracturing or moving ice, but somehow different.

The first three days were spent scouting the surface of the glacier with surface penetrating radar to identify where the shallowest sections of ice were in order to send the submersible to the center-most region that could be reached.

During these three days they reported the noises continued to get louder and more frequent, but they couldn’t explain why, the temperature had not shifted significantly in the past six months, so there shouldn’t be any unusual amount of melting occurring.

The surface penetrating radar was capable of determining the depth of the ice, but not how deep the water below the ice was. It had to be assumed that the shallowest of areas were channels and waterways beneath the ice and not simply raised land geometry or sand bars due to the assumed depth of this location.

There were some promising channels leading roughly just shy of the center point of the glacier, which was promising enough for the team. They began preparations and test runs of the submersible in the surrounding waters to prepare for its launch beneath the glacier.

Since their arrival the glacier had seen considerably more melting along its northern boundary. They still had no theories for the rapid melting occurring in this specific region despite stable, low temperatures, but assumed there was an answer in the smokey waters around the ice shelf.

The day came for the submersible mission, the goal was to take it slow and steady to conserve energy and carefully navigate through the widest channel. While it wasn’t the deepest, it had the lowest chance of the underwater unit becoming trapped beneath the ice, a 1.3 million dollar piece of equipment lost. It would surely cost us our funding if such a thing were to happen.

Upon lowering it into the water, it was clear the visibility remained poor throughout, so we could rule out sediment that had simply risen to the surface. It seemed to be suspended throughout the water, whether it was dispersed through the melting of the glacier, or coming from some underwater vent beneath it was what intrigued us.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

OKAY I'm 5 feet which makes me a complete foot shorter than Jack, but I had this terrible thought where maybe Jack leans in and I get on my toes to go kiss him but then he suddenly leans away to kinda tease me about how short I am aND NOW I'M UPSET AND KEEP THINKING ABOUT HOW JACK WOULD TEASE ME ABOUT MY HEIGHT ALL THE TIME

Okay so while he totally would do this there are also a lot of positives to being a foot shorter than him.

Other than being able to wear high heels, you would perfectly fit into the crook of his neck when standing beside or in front of him. And that means that he could also wrap his arms around your shoulders from behind and rest his chin on top of your head.

Also, you could totally hide behind him when you are trying to hide from someone you don’t want to talk to. He would be like the best shield ever.

Try to think of the positives and not the negatives 😉

x-files fun facts pt.2

1. When Anderson became pregnant, the writers explained her absence by having her character abducted. Little did they know, this plot line would become a crucial motivator for the show’s overall mythology.

2. According to Anderson, the pilot episode was only the second time she had been on camera.

3. Anderson spent most of her time on the series standing on a box due to the fact that she’s just a little over 5 feet tall and a full 10 inches shorter than her co-star.

4. Before being cast as the Cigarette-Smoking Man, William B. Davis had not smoked a cigarette in 20 years. He smoked real cigarettes for the first two seasons of the show before shifting to herbal.

5. According to producer Kim Manners, at the start of the show, Davis was only supposed to be an extra leaning against a shelf. They didn’t intend for him to become the main antagonist of the show.

6. Anderson was unhappy with filming a hotel scene in her underwear, where she reveals to Mulder some conspicuous bug bites in the pilot. She believed the scene was gratuitous and there was “no reason for it.” Carter believed the scene was necessary to “highlight the platonic relationship between the two.”

7. Dana Scully originally had a boyfriend named Ethan Minette in the pilot episode. He was added in by Fox executives because they felt there was not enough “romantic interest” between Mulder and Scully. Carter nixed all of his scenes, insisting the relationship between Mulder and Scully was much more interesting.

8. Duchovny and Anderson thought the show would bomb.

9. Anderson liked filming the more light-hearted, comedic episodes because she loves comedy. 

10. Duchovny and Anderson both admit the overarching mythology of the show was too confusing and hard to follow, even for them. 

scott-no-name  asked:

so imagine this: Kaiba and Serenity have small child. Small child gets nightmares and kaiba goes to comfort child. He ends up falling asleep on a tiny childrens bed. being 6'1 and falling asleep on a 5 foot long bed and just limbs and protective cuddles ;u;

5 feet, really?  Kid bro’s always seemed shorter than that.

Eventually Serenity’s just like “You know, I think it’s time for Kira to move up to a big girl bed,” and Seto’s all “But she’s so little!”

And Serenity just comes back with “Yeeees, but you fall asleep in there at least once a week and you need a big girl’s bed.”

On that note, seriously, Tumblr is literally only letting me post pictures as responses to asks right now.  It won’t even let me post them in text posts.

Someone please ask me about Kaiba’s ugly cat.

anonymous asked:

this is louis tomlinson and 5'9" all over again tbh. my 5'10" arse can't win either way

when will tom and louis become bff and both pretend they’re over 6 feet (also my 5′4 ass has always wanted a shorter partner but no one wants to date me regardless of their height)

(1) No fight is a true fight unless someone gets knocked out, so that’s the barometer here. All the way in the red means there is a 100 percent chance you wake up the unintentional star of a viral Internet video; and (2) no women were included here because it felt strange to talk about fist-fighting women. (A guess: You’d probably catch Lil Mama for a win, but all the rest are dropping L’s on you.)

 

 

J. Cole

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–100 percent chance J. Cole knocks you out.

Yes. Fight J. Cole. Fight J. Cole and win. Fight him for ruining the Jay Z–Dame Dash reunion moment. Fight him for using the phrase “Cole world.” Fight him for his face being his face.

T.I.

End Fight Probability: There is a 44 percent chance T.I. knocks you out.

He’s a tiny guy, sure (on “Stand Up” he says he weighs 145 pounds, or about one pair of Timbaland boots), but he looks like he’s made of twisted wire. Also, and this is real life: I met him once at a listening party. He has an unsettling gaze. There’s evil in him. He’ll hurt you. And he’s gonna like doing it. Don’t do it. Don’t fight T.I.

Lil Wayne

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–10 percent

On the one hand, Lil Wayne is from Louisiana, which makes him instantly intimidating. But on the other hand, one time he rapped, “Eat her till she cry, call that wine and dine,” so you should be fine. Engage him in fisticuffs. It would be very neat if you said something Lil Wayne–esque when you did so (“I just drummed you to the floor, call that a beatdown,” or something).

Lil Boosie

End Fight Probability: There is a 51 percent chance Lil Boosie knocks you out.

Bro, he just got out of prison, like, 45 minutes ago. Don’t do that. Don’t fight Lil Boosie.

Puff Daddy

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–65 percentchance Puff knocks you out.

You’d likely win this fight if it managed to come off, but I’d sidestep it because let’s say you trip over Puff’s teeny-tiny teeth and fall and hit your head on the concrete and knock yourself out or whatever, he is absolutely going to celebrate by doing that Diddy Bop dance he’s done for the last 60 years. You can’t risk that. There’s no recovering from that. There’s no recovering from being the guy in the WSHH knockout Puff Daddy Diddy Bop dance video.

50 Cent

End Fight Probability: There is an 86 percent chance 50 Cent knocks you out.

He got shot 700 times in the head and didn’t die. What are you gonna do to him in a fight? Don’t do it. Don’t fight Fif.

Rick Ross

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–23 percent

You’re gold here. Ross is a big guy, but in this case that just means he’s slow. Fight him the same way you used to fight King Hippo* from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! Wait till he opens his mouth to breathe, punch him in it, then sock him in his stomach over and over again until he falls down. Inertia will handle the rest.

*Why didn’t anyone ever talk about the giant bandage on King Hippo’s stomach? Referee Mario shouldn’t have let him fight like that. There’s gotta be some sort of rule against prefight open wounds in the Video Game Boxing Association, right? “Hey, what’s that gaping sore you have on your belly there, Hippo? What? Oh. Oh, you’re just gonna cover it up with your hands? OK, cool. Fight!” Referee Mario was way too cavalier about staph infections.

Wiz Khalifa

End Fight Probability: There is a 12 percent chance Wiz Khalifa knocks you out.

His knockout percentage is low, but that only accounts for his thinness. You have to remember that he’s extra tall so he’s gonna have an infuriating reach advantage. More likely than the knockout is that he peppers you with jabs until both of your eyes are swollen shut. Plus, his neck is 24 inches long, so you’re never gonna be able to hit him in the head. The only chance you’ve got is if Wiz has it in his brain that he’s a dad now. Dad brains are always like, “Man, I can’t [DANGEROUS THING]. I got kids to think about now.” But if he’s not thinking about that, you’re toast. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Wiz Khalifa.

Regular Snoop

End Fight Probability: There is a 71 percent chance Regular Snoop knocks you out.

Basically for all the same reasons listed for Wiz, but also because he’s Snoop. He’s been the most intimidating skeleton on earth for the last 20 years. Remember him in Baby Boy? He was perfect. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Regular Snoop.

Reggae Snoop

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–72 percentchance Reggae Snoop knocks you out.

Because it’s reggae,* man. You’re safe.

*The best thing that happened last week was when the Donald Sterling story started unraveling and Reggae Snoop immediately reverted back to Regular Snoop in his video response. Regular Snoop is the best.

Kanye West

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–7 percent

If it was Digitized Kanye West from the “Black Skinhead” video, then I’d say avoid it (he’d probably club you over the head with the mega-penis he gave himself), but this is real-life Kanye so you’re safe. He’ll be loud and he’ll be blustery but he’ll also be extra-sensitive about everything. “Hey, Kanye, hahaha you can’t get into fashion. Have fun at Adidas.” Boom. He starts crying. You sock him in the kidney. Fight over. Great, next album.

Busta Rhymes

End Fight Probability: There is a 46 percent chance Busta Rhymes knocks you out.

I think Busta is like 1,000 years old but whatever, because he also looks like he can bench-press a Hyundai, so stay away. I just don’t understand why anyone would ever wanna be that big, particularly if you’re an old man. Dr. Dre did the same thing. He started getting old and was like, “What can I do to look young and normal? Oh! I got it! Let me make the muscles in my neck super duper strong.” Weird, weird. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Bussa Buss. Flip Mode. Flip Mode is the greatest.

Pitbull

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–90 percentchance Pitbull will knock you out.

Fight him. Fight Pitbull. Fight Pitbull every chance you get. And whenever you knock him on the ground, you shout, “Pitbull’s going down, I’m yelling ‘timber’” and then be like, “You see? You see how stupid that is?”

The Game

End Fight Probability: There is a 79 percent chance The Game knocks you out.

This is the first paragraph of the “Early Life” section ofThe Game’s Wikipedia page:

“Game was born Jayceon Terrell Taylor on November 29, 1979, in Los Angeles, California. He grew up in Compton, a low-income crime-ridden city in Los Angeles County, in a primarily Crip gang neighborhood known as Santana Blocc, although he grew up to become a member of the Bloods. He was born into a life of gang-wars and hustling. In an October 2006 interview with MTV News correspondent Sway Calloway, Game described his family as “dysfunctional” and claimed that his father molested one of his sisters. When later interviewed, Game stated that at a young age, he recalled seeing both of his parents preparing to do drive-by shootings. His father was a Nutty Block Crip and his mother a Hoover Crippelette. Drugs and guns were all around Taylor when he was a youngster. His father was a heroin addict and both his parents frequently took cocaine. At around the age of 6, Taylor stated that a friend of his was murdered for his clothes and shoes in the neighborhood by a teenager.”

It gets worse as it goes on. Don’t do it. Don’t fight The Game.

Eminem

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–33 percent.

We all saw 8 Mile. He was tough, but he wasn’t a fighter.

Ludacris

End Fight Probability: ???

I don’t know how to rate Ludacris. He’s not intimidating but he’s not unintimidating either. He’s not big but he’s not small. He’s not ultra-serious but he’s also not ultra-goofy. I don’t know. I don’t know. You might win. You might die. I don’t know. Good luck.

Tyga

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–83 percent

Remember “Rack City”? Man, that was a good song.

Common

End Fight Probability: There is a 49 percent chance Common knocks you out.

And a 100 percent chance that he just straight-up kills you. Did you even see Wanted, bro? He can bend the flight of bullets. Don’t do it. Don’t get ghost-assassinated by Common.

Kendrick Lamar

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–12 percentchance Kendrick Lamar knocks you out.

Several months ago I was at a concert. I was milling about backstage (I was there to do some reporting for a story). I was waiting for the main act to come on, talking to strangers (and then making fun on them on Twitter like a good Catholic boy), when this kid, couldn’t have been more than 13, hurried past me. I didn’t pay him any attention until I noticed he was headed straight for the stage. He stopped at the edge, was handed a microphone, then walked out and the whole entire universe exploded. It was Kendrick. I’m not a very tall person (5-foot-7) and he was at least two feet shorter. You’d survive this fight.

Ice-T

End Fight Probability: There is a 73 percent chance Ice-T knocks you out.

Remember that one movie he was in with Rutger Hauer in which Hauer and his friends were hunting him? They had guns and ATVs and racism and they still couldn’t get him. You can’t either. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Ice-T.

Big Sean

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–75 percentchance Big Sean knocks you out.

The odds are in your favor here, but still, don’t ever fight Big Sean. He’s so much fun. I mean, just look at him. He’s so happily silly and playful (and totally aware of his silliness and playfulness). He’s the opposite of J. Cole, the most self-serious rapper of my whole life. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Big Sean. Go back and fight J. Cole again.

Soulja Boy

End Fight Probability: There is a 40 percent chance Soulja Boy knocks you out.

I understand your instinct to fight Soulja Boy. I do. But don’t.

Future

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–29 percent

*This is a completely skewed measurement. Future is somewhere near 60 percent to knock you out. This is a setup. I want you to try to fight Future because I want Future to knock you out because I want Future to cackle “Tuuuuuuurn out the liiiiights” after he does so. That’s a little thing called being poetic. So do it. Fight Future.

DMX

End Fight Probability: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA10000000000000PERCENTHAHAHAHAHA

Call a coroner.

Jay Z

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–50 percent

Because Jay Z rapped “Plus I know Tae Bo” in “Girls, Girls, Girls” and then Nas called him a “Tae Bo hoe” on “Ether.”

Drake

End Fight Probability: There is a 51 percent chance Drake knocks you out.

Drake has spent the last four years getting picked on by the Internet. He has been hardened. He might be the kid who cries when he fights, but that’s nature at work. It’s the same as a lion roaring. When Drake is roaring tears from his eyes, that’s when it’s time to back up.

Wale

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–17 percent

I don’t know.

Did you know that Wale is real-life cousins with Chris Partlow from The Wire? Don’t do it. Don’t fight Chris Partlow’s real-life cousin.

Young Thug

End Fight Probability: There is a 21 percent chance Young Thug knocks you out.

He wore a dress. But don’t fall into that trap. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Young Thug.

Tyler, the Creator

End Fight Probability: There is a negative–55 percent

*Another ruse. His real number is closer to 35 percent. Sorry. I just really want to see what sort of things he does to you after he mollywhops you upside the head.

Action Bronson

End Fight Probability: There is a 79 percent chance Action Bronson knocks you out.

He shares the same physical attributes as Rick Ross (who earned a -23 percent chance of knocking you out), but there’s one super-ultra-off-the-backboard mega-difference you have to account for: Bronson’s father is Albanian, which means Bronson is half-Albanian, which means FUCK THAT. The only person capable of defeating Albanians is Liam Neeson, and you’re no Liam Neeson,* my friend. Don’t do it. Don’t fight Action Bronson. Don’t get sold into an Albanian human trafficking ring.

3

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight: In 1914 Britain lowered recruiting standards in height to 5 feet, to form several “Bantam Battalions” of shorter and smaller men.  Many of them from coal-mining and industrial regions where men tended to be smaller, but no less fit, due to their occupations.  The Bantam Battalions made up part of Kitchener’s New Army and fought at the Somme in July 1916, but eventually replacements and transfers made them indistinguishable from regular units. 

hotcrossbunss  asked:

I'm only 5 feet tall. Should I still transition?

There’s no sign saying “you must be this tall to transition”. Keep in mind that there are thousands of cis men who are 5 feet tall and shorter.  I’m only 5′1″ myself. Genders don’t have height requirements.