4living

No Regrets - Decision

Request by Anonymous Can you do something for when Y/N left Michael for the last time? After he forced himself on her. What was her headspace like?

Pairing: Jensen x Reader (sorta), Michael (OC) x Reader (ew)

Warnings: Memories of rape(not graphic), regrets, longing, self-hate

Wordcount: 614

A/N: This is a drabble complication. All drabbles fits into the universe I created for my Jensen x Reader series Living with Regrets. Most can be read as stand alone but will also very much be part of the series.

This takes place between the prologue and part one of the LWR series. In time it takes place near the end of filming season 4

LIVING WITH REGRETS MASTERPOST

NO REGRETS MASTERPOST

You had laid on the bed numb as you listened to him get dressed. You listened to him talking about some appointment he had at his office and how he was going to be home late, but that he wanted to take you out after. You listened to him talk as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t hit you again. As if you hadn’t told him you were done for good this time. As if he hadn’t grabbed your arm and thrown you onto the bed as you tried to leave.

He spoke as if he hadn’t raped you a few hours ago before falling asleep on top of you. Pinning your body beneath his. You had laid awake all night just like you had lain awake listening to him speak, but you weren’t really there. You body was, but your mind was far away. You mind was in a dream. In a dream where you had made a different choice, the right choice. A choice where you had never gotten into Michael’s ferrari leaving Jensen behind. In your mind you had chosen him, just like you had wanted too all along. In your mind you were someone that were worthy of his love.

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anonymous asked:

How do Christian Witches deal with the fact that the bible says that Witches don't deserve to live?

So, a few things here:

1.) First and foremost, Christians are not bound by the laws of the OT.  The verse you’re referring to is in the Old Testament (specifically Exodus; which is referring to a covenant being established between YHWH and Israel).  As Christians we are not under these laws:

1 Corinthians 9:20-21 When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law,I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ.“

Romans 8:1-3 “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.”

Romans 10:4For Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.”

Galatians 3:23-25 “Now before faith came, we were imprisoned and guarded under the law until faith would be revealed. Therefore the law was our disciplinarian until Christ came, so that we might be justified by faith.  But now that faith has come, we are no longer subject to a disciplinarian”

Ephesians 2:15 “He has abolished the law with its commandments and ordinances, that he might create in himself one new humanity in place of the two, thus making peace,”

I could just end this ask here, but I’ll go further with it……

2.) The following is from my post on The Bible and Magic.  I’m focusing on the part about Kashaph since that’s the word used in the Exodus verse you’re referring to.

“Kashaph possibly comes from the root words kash (herb) and hapalah (using).  It also could mean to mutter.  

The Septuagint (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Septuagint) translates the phrase as Pharmakeia (drugs/poison), so it may refer to magic potions/poisoning/drug use In various translations it either translates to evil magic, sorcery, drug use, etc.  It very likely means poisoner though.

In the 16th century a prominent critic of the witch trials named Reginald Scot claimed the translations to magic, sorcery, etc were incorrect.  He claimed that kashaph and pharmakeia should be translated to poisoner.

Here’s a translation for pharmakeia: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G5331

Even if m'khaseph does not relate to poisoning via herbs, it generally translate to evil magic and evil sorcery.  And is usually compared to people (usually women) who are evil, manipulative, or greedy.

Nahum 3:4
Living Bible (TLB): All this because Nineveh sold herself to the enemies of God. The beautiful and faithless city, mistress of deadly charms, enticed the nations with her beauty, then taught them all to worship her false gods, bewitching people everywhere.

2 Kings 9:22
Living Bible (TLB): and King Joram demanded,“Do you come as a friend, Jehu?” Jehu replied, “How can there be friendship as long as the evils of your mother Jezebel are all around us?”

New Life Version (NLV): When Joram saw Jehu, he said, “Do you come in peace, Jehu?” And he said, “Do you come in peace, Jehu?” And he answered, “What peace can there be, so long as the sinful ways and witchcrafts of your mother Jezebel are so many?”

Notice how witchcraft is associated with Jezebel and evil?  I don’t remember reading any witchcraft actually done by Jezebel.  But she is associated with evil, seducing the King and an entire nation to worshiping Ba'al and committing idolatry.  So she became a “Kashaph”

This also brings up the bible’s association with witchcraft and idolatry.  Which, I believe in the bible, is the biggest concerns with witchcraft.

The following site describes the word Sorcerer to mean:

“the Hebrew word is “m’kasheph”; the root word is “kashaph” which means “to secure obedience through guile, or to bewitch.”  This is one who through smooth words deceives others into doing as he wants them to do.”  

(http://www.onetorahforall.com/Studies2010/Rebellion%20is%20as%20Witchcraft.html)

Notice how the word is associated with securing obedience of others via magic?  That’s why "evil sorcery” or even sorcery would be a good fit for Kashaph.

Other Jewish sites on witchcraft:

“"Witchcraft” and “sorcery” are the terms used in the Bible to designate the practise of the arts of divination,“  http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/14960-witchcraft (this one mentions drug use with m’kasheph as well)

“The commonest form of magic was the love-charm, especially the love-charm required for an illicit amour. Such magic was practised especially by women, so that magic and adultery frequently are mentioned together (II Kings ix. 22; Nah. iii. 4; Mal. iii. 5). The law (Ex. xxii. 17 [A. V. 18]) which punishes sorcery with death speaks of the witch and not of the wizard. This was correctly interpreted by the Talmud (Sanh. 67a) as implying that magic was practised chiefly by women, and the context of the passages in Exodus which mention sorcery clearly shows that it was associated with sexual license and unnatural vices ” http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/10264-magic

“In general, witches in biblical and rabbinic literature are thought to be engaged mostly in malevolent activities, from interfering with fertility and healthy births (Otzar ha-Geonim, Sotah 11) to cursing rivals and killing the unsuspecting. This stands in contrast with beneficent sorcery, such as healing rituals and amulet making, which Jewish tradition tolerates.While there are examples recorded of "witchcraft” that serves purely utilitarian purposes (the ability to stir a boiling pot with one’s bare hand, for example), in general it is assumed witchcraft is used mostly for nefarious ends. The motivation for such behavior is rarely explicitly stated in the texts, but can be inferred. Witches seem to be a source of the evil eye, indicating they are motivated by envy and jealousy. Others use their powers for personal profit.“  

"The formal biblical attitude toward wizards and witches is severe, witchcraft being a capital offense (Exodus 22:17; Leviticus 20:27; Sanhedrin 45b). This seems to spring from its association with idolatry. Both men and women are portrayed as engaging in witchcraft, and contrary to the modern distinction made in academic circles between socially empowered sorcerers and socially marginal witches, witches in the Bible are often shown in positions of power, notably the wizards in the employ of the kings of Babylon and Egypt and the witches in the employ of King Manasseh. Queen Jezebel herself is a witch (Exodus 7: 11; Daniel 2:2; II Kings 9:22, 21:2).” (http://www.myjewishlearning.com/beliefs/Issues/Magic_and_the_Supernatural/Practices_and_Beliefs/Supernatural_Beings/Witches.shtml)

So essentially the view of m’kasheph or witchcraft in terms of Judaism (and probably during the time of the Torah) consists of charming others, bewitching others, harming others, sexual exploitation of others, idolatry, and possibly the use of herbs to poison.  

This connects with the fact that m’kasheph was translated as “Pharmakeia” in the Septuagint (Greek translation of the Hebrew bible).

Pharmakeia also comes up in the New Testament to mean “witchcraft” in Galatians 5:20 and Revelation 18:23.  But this word does, in fact, mean herb using or drug using (likely in relation to the occult).

http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G5331

http://biblehub.com/greek/5331.htm

So considering this connection, m’kasheph and pharmakeia are likely referring to occult practices of that time dealing with the use of potions (likely to harm others).  In the surrounding literature it also seems to be in connection to divination, idolatry, and sexual misconduct.  Why else would they put “thou shalt not suffer a witch to live” between rape and bestiality (Exodus 22:16-19)?  Likely because of it’s connection to sexual manipulation.

Which is also found in connection to Jezebel:

2 Kings 9:22
And it came to pass, when Joram saw Jehu, that he said, Is it peace, Jehu? And he answered, What peace, so long as the whoredoms of thy mother Jezebel and her witchcrafts are so many?

And it’s connection to idolatry:

Nahum 3:4
All this because Nineveh sold herself to the enemies of God. The beautiful and faithless city, mistress of deadly charms, enticed the nations with her beauty, then taught them all to worship her false gods, bewitching people everywhere.”


That’s how I deal with it.  Knowing the context, and what the word likely meant back then.  And knowing that’s not what I do now.

And even if it is a sin?  Well, we’re all sinners.  We all have our own sins.  I still have my faith in Christ.  And that’s all that matters.

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Names of God in the Bible, names and titles of the God of the Old and New Testament.

NAMES OF GOD FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

ELOHIM……Genesis 1:1, Psalm 19:1
meaning “God”, a reference to God’s power and might.
ADONAI……Malachi 1:6
meaning “Lord”, a reference to the Lordship of God.
JEHOVAH–YAHWEH…..Genesis 2:4
a reference to God’s divine salvation.
JEHOVAH-MACCADDESHEM…….Exodus 31:13
meaning “The Lord thy sanctifier”
JEHOVAH-ROHI……Psalm 23:1
meaning “The Lord my shepherd”
JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH…….Ezekiel 48:35
meaning “The Lord who is present”
JEHOVAH-RAPHA………Exodus 15:26
meaning “The Lord our healer”
JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU……Jeremiah 23:6
meaning “The Lord our righteousness”
JEHOVAH-JIREH………Genesis 22:13-14
meaning “The Lord will provide”
JEHOVAH-NISSI………Exodus 17:15
meaning “The Lord our banner”
JEHOVAH-SHALOM……..Judges 6:24
meaning “The Lord is peace”
JEHOVAH-SABBAOTH……Isaiah 6:1-3
meaning “The Lord of Hosts”
EL-ELYON…………..Genesis 14:17-20,Isaiah 14:13-14
meaning “The most high God”
EL-ROI…………….Genesis 16:13
meaning “The strong one who sees”
EL-SHADDAI…………Genesis 17:1,Psalm 91:1
meaning “The God of the mountains or God Almighty”
EL-OLAM……………Isaiah 40:28-31
meaning “The everlasting God”

MORE NAMES OF GOD : FROM THE OLD & NEW TESTAMENT

ABBA………………………..Romans 8:15
ADVOCATE…………………….I John 2:1 (kjv)
ALMIGHTY…………………….Genesis 17:1
ALPHA……………………….Revelation 22:13
AMEN………………………..Revelation 3:14
ANCIENT OF DAYS………………Daniel 7:9
ANOINTED ONE…………………Psalm 2:2
APOSTLE……………………..Hebrews 3:1
ARM OF THE LORD………………Isaiah 53:1
AUTHOR OF LIFE……………….Acts 3:15
AUTHOR OF OUR FAITH…………..Hebrews 12:2

BEGINNING…………………….Revelation 21:6
BLESSED & HOLY RULER…………..1 Timothy 6:15
BRANCH……………………….Jeremiah 33:15
BREAD OF GOD………………….John 6:33
BREAD OF LIFE…………………John 6:35
BRIDEGROOM……………………Isaiah 62:56
BRIGHT MORNING STAR……………Revelation 22:16

CHIEF SHEPHERD…………………1 Peter 5:4
CHOSEN ONE…………………….Isaiah 42:1
CHRIST………………………..Matthew 22:42
CHRIST OF GOD………………….Luke 9:20
CHRIST THE LORD………………..Luke 2:11
CHRIST, SON OF LIVING GOD……….Matthew 16:16
COMFORTER……………………..John 14:26(kjv)
COMMANDER……………………..Isaiah 55:4
CONSOLATION OF ISRAEL……………Luke 2:25
CONSUMING FIRE………………….Deut. 4:24, Heb. 12:29
CORNERSTONE…………………….Isaiah 28:16
COUNSELOR………………………Isaiah 9:6
CREATOR………………………..1 Peter 4:19

DELIVERER…………………………Romans 11:26
DESIRED OF ALL NATIONS……………..Haggai 2:7
DOOR……………………………..John 10:7(kjv)

END………………………………Revelation 21:6
ETERNAL GOD……………………….Deut. 33:27
EVERLASTING FATHER…………………Isaiah 9:6

FAITHFUL & TRUE……………………Revelation 19:11
FAITHFUL WITNESS…………………..Revelation 1:5
FATHER……………………………Matthew 6:9
FIRSTBORN (3)………………………………….Rom.8:29,Rev.1:5,Col.1:15
FIRSTFRUITS……………………….1 Cor.15:20-23
FOUNDATION………………………..1 Cor. 3:11
FRIEND OF TAX COLLECTORS & SINNERS…..Matthew 11:19

GENTLE WHISPER…………………….1 Kings 19:12
GIFT OF GOD……………………….John 4:10
GLORY OF THE LORD………………….Isaiah 40:5
GOD………………………………Genesis 1:1
GOD ALMIGHTY………………………Genesis 17:1
GOD OVER ALL………………………Romans 9:5
GOD WHO SEES ME……………………Genesis 16:13
GOOD SHEPHERD……………………..John 10:11
GREAT HIGH PRIEST………………….Hebrews 4:14
GREAT SHEPHERD…………………….Hebrews 13:20
GUIDE…………………………….Psalm 48:14

HEAD OF THE BODY…………………..Colossians 1:18
HEAD OF THE CHURCH…………………Ephesians 5:23
HEIR OF ALL THINGS…………………Hebrews 1:2
HIGH PRIEST……………………….Hebrews 3:1
HIGH PRIEST FOREVER………………..Hebrews 6:20
HOLY ONE………………………….Acts 2:27
HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL…………………Isaiah 49:7
HOLY SPIRIT……………………….John 16:26
HOPE……………………………..Titus 2:13
HORN OF SALVATION………………….Luke 1:69

I AM………………………………Exodus 3:14, John 8:58
IMAGE OF GOD……………………….2 Cor. 4:4
IMAGE OF HIS PERSON…………………Hebrews 1:3 (kjv)
IMMANUEL…………………………..Isaiah 7:14

JEALOUS…………………………Exodus 34:14 (kjv)
JEHOVAH…………………………Psalm 83:18 (kjv)
JESUS…………………………..Matthew 1:21
JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD…………….Romans 6:23
JUDGE…………………………..Isaiah 33:22, Acts 10:42

KING……………………………Zechariah 9:9
KING ETERNAL…………………….1 Timothy 1:17
KING OF KINGS……………………1 Timothy 6:15
KING OF THE AGES…………………Revelation 15:3

LAMB OF GOD………………………John 1:29
LAST ADAM………………………..1 Cor. 15:45
LAWGIVER…………………………Isaiah 33:22
LEADER…………………………..Isaiah 55:4
LIFE…………………………….John 14:6
LIGHT OF THE WORLD………………..John 8:12
LIKE AN EAGLE…………………….Deut. 32:11
LILY OF THE VALLEYS……………….Song 2:1
LION OF THE TRIBE OF JUDAH…………Revelation 5:5
LIVING STONE……………………..1 Peter 2:4
LIVING WATER……………………..John 4:10
LORD…………………………….John 13:13
LORD GOD ALMIGHTY…………………Revelation 15:3
LORD JESUS CHRIST…………………1 Cor. 15:57
LORD OF ALL………………………Acts 10:36
LORD OF GLORY ……………………1 Cor. 2:8
LORD OF LORDS…………………….1 Tim. 6:15
LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS…………..Jeremiah 23:6
LOVE……………………………1 John 4:8

MAN OF SORROWS…………………….Isaiah 53:3
MASTER…………………………….Luke 5:5
MEDIATOR…………………………..1 Timothy 2:5
MERCIFUL GOD……………………….Jeremiah 3:12
MESSENGER OF THE COVENANT…………….Malachi 3:1
MESSIAH…………………………… John 4:25
MIGHTY GOD………………………….Isaiah 9:6
MIGHTY ONE………………………….Isaiah 60:16

NAZARENE……………………………Matthew 2:23

OFFSPRING OF DAVID…………………..Revelation 22:16
OMEGA………………………………Revelation 22:13
ONLY BEGOTTEN SON……………………John 1:18(kjv)
OUR PASSOVER LAMB……………………1 Cor. 5:7
OUR PEACE…………………………..Ephesians 2:14

POTTER……………………………..Isaiah 64:8
POWER OF GOD………………………..1 Cor. 1:24
PRINCE OF PEACE……………………..Isaiah 9:6
PROPHET…………………………….Acts 3:22
PURIFIER……………………………Malachi 3:3

RABBONI (TEACHER)……………………John 20:16
RADIANCE OF GOD’S GLORY………………Heb.1:3
REDEEMER……………………………Job 19:25
REFINER’S FIRE………………………Malachi 3:2
RESURRECTION………………………..John 11:25
RIGHTEOUS ONE……………………….1 John 2:1
ROCK……………………………….1 Cor.10:4
ROOT OF DAVID……………………….Rev. 22:16
ROSE OF SHARON………………………Song 2:1
RULER OF GOD’S CREATION………………Rev. 3:14
RULER OVER KINGS OF EARTH…………….Rev 1:5
RULER OVER ISRAEL……………………Micah 5:2

SAVIOR……………………………..Luke 2:11
SCEPTER OUT OF ISRAEL………………..Numbers 24:17
SEED……………………………….Genesis 3:15
SERVANT…………………………….Isaiah 42:1
SHEPHERD OF OUR SOULS………………..1Peter 2:25
SHIELD……………………………..Genesis 15:1
SON OF DAVID………………………..Matthew 1:1
SON OF GOD………………………….Matthew 27:54
SON OF MAN………………………….Matthew 8:20
SON OF THE MOST HIGH…………………Luke 1:32
SOURCE……………………………..Hebrews 5:9
SPIRIT OF GOD……………………….Genesis 1:2
STAR OUT OF JACOB……………………Numbers 24:17
STONE………………………………1 Peter 2:8
SUN OF RIGHTEOUSNESS…………………Malachi 4:2

TEACHER……………………………..John 13:13
TRUE LIGHT…………………………..John 1:9
TRUE WITNESS…………………………Revelation 3:14
TRUTH……………………………….John 14:6

VINE………………………………..John 15:5

WAY………………………………….John 14:6
WISDOM OF GOD…………………………1 Cor. 1:24
WITNESS………………………………Isaiah 55:4
WONDERFUL…………………………….Isaiah 9:6
WORD…………………………………John 1:1
WORD OF GOD…………………………..Revelation 19:13