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Something and the Whatever

So, like, modern Beauty and the Beast AU that I am finally admitting will never be a real fic: 

While he’s not REALLY royalty, Derek’s indisputably the crown prince of the modeling industry… and exactly as shallow as one might imagine, given that his lifestyle is like 15% clubbing and lounging around in fancy hotels, 15% being told by strangers that he has the face/ abs/ ass of an angel, 20% getting free drinks and appetizers and whatever, and 50% getting flown to exotic locations to get his picture taken. He spends 0% of his time even thinking about events or people beyond his preposterously good looking clique, much less actually doing good in the world or being kind.

So one day he’s partying with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Kate and some other gorgeous models, and he makes the mistake of cruelly mocking a woman who tries to hang with them by laughing at her ugly facial scars. Surprise surprise, she turns out to be a Druid who curses him to be A BEAST until he can make someone love him on account of his personality and receive True Love’s Kiss! But also he can’t speak of the curse until it’s broken, which she assures him it won’t ever be, because he is an ASSHOLE. And then she’s gone.

So Derek rushes to the bathroom to stare at a mirror, horrified at the idea of not being gorgeous - it’s his living, after all! - and he’s relieved at first, because everything is normal. He guesses the moment where her scars seemed to disappear must have been… an illusion? Anyways she’s just a crazy weirdo who tries to get a rise out of people with her weird magician tricks. Whew!

But then….. The changes are subtle, but devastating. His nose bulges at the tip, his eyebrows go wiry and fill in at the center. His teeth, always a bit crooked, get downright messed up and oh God, are they yellow? They’re definitely a little yellowed. The same sort of changes sweep over his whole body - a layer of fat around his abs, his tan faded to pasty white, his ears poking out like fucking wings, hair thinning and receding a good inch and a half. Even his scruff goes horribly patchy. Derek sobs in horror. He’s basically A BEAST.

He goes back out to the club and tries to get Kate’s help; she loves him, right? So if she kisses him this will all be over! But she spurns him just as cruelly as he’d spurned the Druid, sneering at him and saying that even if he is really Derek, like he claims to be, he’s hideous now and she has no desire to be around him for even one second more, much less kiss him. 

He’s sort of baffled and appalled - Kate’s always seemed so nice to him and the other rich, beautiful models. But now she’s treating him worse than dirt! And if even his girlfriend thinks he’s worthless like this… there’s no hope. He flees into the night, away from the judging eyes of other people.

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