What Am I To You? Chapter 1 [BTS Otome]

∘ Pairing: BTS x You
Genre: Fluff & Angst
Word Count: 4989
 A/N: If you find any grammar mistakes, please let me know. And don’t forget to tell us what you think about this chapter~! ^-^

A white room, feathers falling from its top

I’m in a fairy tale’s

World of colors

Sweet music playing in background

I’m getting lost while running

Suddenly I get caught in a trap

A man  is getting closer to me

While I’m in a tanker

I’m drowning

I’m drowning while I am seeing his beautiful face

I’m drowning

And I’m falling into pitch black

When I woke up, the clock was showing 5 AM. God, what a nightmare it was… I was sweating buckets. For a while, I took deep breaths. While waiting to calm down, I closed my face with my hands. Trying to get over to myself, I started thinking. Seeing a nightmare this realistically, was it normal? To be honest, I didn’t know. I got up from my bed to get a glass of water and went to my cozy house’s cozy kitchen. It was at the corner of my bedroom. I got a glass and started to pour some water in it. I was trying to remember the dream but it flew away from my mind. The realistic damn dream which made me sweat buckets flew and went away. It wasn’t in there. That part of my mind was empty. I felt my feet getting wetter. “Ah, damn it!” Water filled the glass so much that it was dripping from the counter. I said “Oh, God. What was I thinking? Being this vague is not my thing.” And dried around with a napkin. I said to myself “I only wanted to drink a glass of water. Look what I have done!“ After from drinking my water while sitting on the counter, I returned to my room. I stretched and opened my computer. After from closing the reminder pop-ups, I entered the browser. I said “Let’s see what the internet does say about this company.” And then started stalking. I got the job with my CV full of connections. And like I said, tomorrow was going to be my first day of job in this magnificent company. In the internet, the articles were mostly about the company’s CEO Namjoon Kim and his right hand Jeon Jungkook. Generally, you could see articles about how the company is successful to CEO’s and his right hand’s private life. I started with the company related ones.

*Beep beep, beep beep*

“What’s happening?” I murmured and opened my eyes. After from a huge yawn, I put my head on the table again. The table? I opened my eyes immediately and while standing up, I looked at the clock. I screamed “This can’t be, I’m late!” I dressed up properly and left my house. There was a traffic jam, but fortunately with my motorbike I could get out of there. From my side, a chic Pagani Zonda R passed. I couldn’t understand why a car like that was on the street at this hour. But with its dark black color, golden rims and alien resembling lights, I was fascinated. I wish I could see the person inside of it too! Who could be the one who’s driving this fascinating car? My motorbike was good too. But it couldn’t stand a chance against a Pagani Zonda R… I took a deep breath. I came to myself with the car horns coming from my back. The traffic lights has turned to green.

Parking to the holding’s front parking lot, I rushed to the swinging door. I almost banged into the glass door. While the door was turning, I tidied up my clothes and took a glance on myself from my reflection. Walking to the help desk, I added a new awkwardness to my clumsiness. He was someone tall, wide-shouldered and had big lips and I caught his huge eyes. This, was the guy I bumped. After from apologising immediately, I have heard a “No problem~” from his honey-like voice. He was like a fairy. But I don’t think fairies wear white coats.

“Hello, I’m Y/N. Mr. Kim wanted to see me at my first day.” I said to the lady with long red polished nails. “Oh, sure. Mr. Kim is waiting for you.” She said and pointed out the place where the elevators located. “You can go from there. It’s on the top floor, it will be on your front. You can already understand from its big door.” She said and laughed. I put on my fake smile mask, looked at her and started to walk through the elevator. How would it be to use stairs to climb up to the 300rd floor in the high ceilinged huge company? God, I’m getting excited! While walking to the elevator happily, I realized it was on my floor. Finally, something went right. After from entering the elevator, I pressed 3-0-0 and started waiting. It was going to be a long ride.

After from a 4 minute ride which can count as a long ride for a elevator one, I reached the top. When elevator’s doors opened, I saw an oak door like that witch-looking lady said. It was a really tall door. Apart from that, everywhere was white. From the left, there was another lady sitting. She was dark haired, and cute. “Hello, you must be Y/N. I’m Sana and I’m Mr. Kim’s private assistant. They said you were coming from help desk. Mr. Kim is waiting for you. Let’s go.” She said with her huge smile. The lady in the help desk was going to get fired soon, it was obvious. But being company’s CEO’s private assistant was a high position and not everyone could become one. Suddenly, I felt lucky too. I got a job as an IT specialist which means I got the chance to work in a high positioned job too! Anyway, I said to myself and returned the girl’s warm smile while murmuring a little “Thanks.” After passing the huge door, a white room just like the enterance welcomed us. Walls and floor was bright white. Back side was window from the ceiling to the floor. Right before me, a man was sitting who’s hair was combed backwards, and who was wearing thick framed black glasses and a nice suit. This must be Mr. Kim, I thought. When he saw me, he smiled and this showed his dimples. God, I think I’m going to faint! I felt my face getting red… Right after my enterance, another man entered my view. On the contrary to Mr Kim, this tall and well-built, jet-black haired guy was looking cold. When he saw my reddening face, he smirked and gave the file he was holding to the blond guy and started standing right beside him. The guy I thought to be Mr. Kim put the file on his desk and stood up. “Hello, Y/N. I’m Mr. Kim and this is Mr. Jeon. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He said while smiling with his dimples and hold out his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you to Mr. Kim and Mr. Jeon.” I said and shook hands with him. His hand was so soft and my hand was disappearing in his hand. Right before my face started to get red again, he pulled his hand back.

I understood, it was a sign for me to shake hands with Mr. Jeon too. I hold out my hand to Mr. Jeon and though his cold aura, I tried to smile with the positive energy I got from Mr. Kim. After looking at my hand then my face, he breathed out nearly inaudibly and hold my hand with his long fingers. He was wearing lots of rings but the most beautiful one was the snake motifed one. When he realized I was looking at our hands, he pulled his hand. Our hand shake was already shorter than Mr. Kim. But contrary to his aura, his warm hands bewitched me. What the hell was I saying? Anyways, after from that, we talked about my CV a little and then Mr. Kim reached the telephone. Mr. Jeon didn’t say a word through my whole conversation with Mr. Kim and stood there, listening us. He didn’t even look at my face. He was nerve-wrecking. Why the hell are you standing there? After Mr. Kim told something on the phone, assistant girl Sana entered the room. “Hello, Y/N. Let me show you the place you’ll work.” She said and gave me her beautiful warm smile. “I guess it’s time for me to leave. It’s a pleasure to meet you again Mr. Kim and Mr. Jeon.” I said. “From now on, it will be more fun.” Mr. Kim said. I bowed a little and by following Sana, I left the room.

Under the whispers “Was it a girl?” I understood, my name was already out. After showing my desk, Sana told me “Don’t mind them. They’re just thinking they found a new fun source. Should you need anything, you can always come find me. You know, I’m on the 300rd floor.” And while laughing, she winked. She was cute and positive. “Can you do that?” I said, shocked. “There is nothing I can’t do.” She said and flipped her hair. I laughed at the scenery and thanked.

After sitting my chair, I opened my new baby. It was 8:49 and this, was the official start of my first day. I fidgeted with my computed for 5-6 minutes and looked it’s system features. And then I saw him. Pink liped cold guy. Our eyes had met and he smirked but this took longer than I expected. This was no good.  Nooo good. He walked towards the elevator. Besides, what was he doing at this floor?

He was suspicious but also a professional, it was obvious. He wasn’t talking much, and was cold but I could swear deep down, he was a warm kid. Isn’t everyone like that? After from living some stuff, everyone closes their doors to the outside world, trying to get rid of humans, not making any communications, learning to live alone. Aren’t we all like that? But inside, aren’t we all waiting for “him/her”? Maybe he was like that too, I thought. Finally when I stopped looking there, I saw another face at my right. “Hi, I’m Mark!” he said, smiling. Does everyone here smiling because of some sort of company policy or something? After turning in his chair, he said “They gave you a nice computer. And look at the ones they give to us.” While pointing his own computer. “If we get into this subject I can compare computers wholly to you. But to sum up, it seems like there isn’t a big difference. The difference is in the one who uses them.” I said and winked, then laughed. He gazed at me smiling, and then took a deep breath. “What are you doing this evening?” he asked. “This happened suddenly. But I think I will have to refuse.” I said. He laughed and said “No, I didn’t ask for that. Mr. Kim can do anything at anytime. So it’s better to leave your evening hours vacant. Also, get along well with Jungkook.” Oh, how stupid I am! I thought he was asking me out and acted like an idiot. But how could I know? He was talking that way! “Why? What’s wrong with Mr. Jeon?” I said. “You’ll hear the stories about him soon, so don’t worry.” He said. “If something happens, my desk is the one with the Avengers figures on it.” “Wow, do you love Avengers? Who is your favorite character?”

Our office was huge and there were lots of tables next to each other. There were long lines seperating the two sides of the table so that what other members do can’t be seen. It was obvious that it was done to increase concentration. It seems like a very disciplined place. Besides…

“Ah, see you at the lunch.”

I was lost in thoughts again. Nowadays, I was lost in thoughts very much. I couldn’t even listen to what he said. Loving Avangers was enough criterion for me.  Another group was approaching me.

“Hi, I’m Mina. This is Jaebum and Jinyoung. Pleased to meet you Y/N.” she said. She was tall like a model and her long dark-brown hair near her shoulders looked so beautiful. She had two guys beside her and they seemed like very close friends. One of them was brunette and the other one had brown hair. The brunette one was like a full-blooded company CEO. If I had seen him in Mr. Kim’s chair, I would probably think so. The other guy –who had brown hair- was just like me. He had a complete I.T head. Like a nerd. However he was cute too. Anyways, let’s return to the subject.

After I spoke them a little bit, I saw Sana come into the room with someone next to her. Everyone suddenly got up. I couldn’t understand what was going on so I followed the herd mentality and I got up too. Everybody started to picking up their stuffs. Of course! Lunch time! There were things I had to do before the lunch, so I decided to stay for a while. I ensconced myself in my chair again. I had to protect my computer with my own coding system. It was going to take about five minutes, not much. However, office was already empty.

“Are you not coming?” I heard someone said from my back. When I turned my back I saw the one who talked to me was Mr. Jeon. “ I’ll come but primarily I have to finish this.” I said it openmouthedly.  Did he… talk with me? Also he asked that if I would go to the lunch!

My face can not be red.

No, damn. I can not blush right now.

I immediately turned to my computer and hid my face with my hair. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I couldn’t move when I saw his white long fingers were on the mouse which I was holding. His hands was on my hands… Our hands… We seemed like we were holding hands.  With his other hand, he threw my hair behind my ear and he approached to me.

“You coded this line incorrect.”  My face was bright red. I didn’t know whether it was because I felt shame of my mistake or his hands felt so farm that I was going to faint.

After he whispered to my ear he took his hand and moved away from me. I was afraid to turn my back and look at him.

“Actually, I’ll fix it later.” I murmured.  Before he turned around and left “Little mistakes rolls and become a big avalanche, don’t you know that? Idiot.” he said.  Idiot? Did he say  just say idiot to me?! What a courage! OK, he might be the right hand of this company’s CEO but that didn’t give him the right call me –who is new but valuable member of this company- an idiot.

I would never normally do this to my computer but I suddenly switched of it from the button and started running after him. He was nowhere to be seen. Also the elevator wasn’t going down. Did he really use the stairs? What a joke! This building is 300 levels, for god’s sake! I pressed the button to call the elevator. It lasted longer than I expected to be. I was going to be late. I decided to use the stairs. It was easy to get down, but harder to go up. I stepped into the cafeteria with quick steps. I was so tired and I saw him again as if it wasn’t enough. He was looking at me with his smile. He gets on my nerves. I felt someone put something on my hands. She is the cafeteria employee Mrs. Oh.  I could understand that much from the collar card.

“Ah, can you bring them to Mr. Kim’s room? Today we are more busy than the normal and I have to be at cafeteria.”She said to me with her eyes looking at me hopefully. I was sorry about her. She looked very sad and tired. “OK, I’ll do so.” I said. And going back with those in my hands, I crashed him, Mr. Jeon. I was about to drop the tray but he hold my hands, and the tray. I quickly looked for his ring with the snake motif . He must have took it off. He said “Be careful, idiot.”

“I’m sorry.” I answered. When he turned back, I looked at him and said “I think it’s not nice to say idiot to a company member. You can get into trouble.” with a voice indicating something. He said no words, just “Huh.” Laughing at me. Not even turning back, got lost behind the cafeteria doors I, again, was going to the elevator. It was called by this floor too. I understood why he had used the stairs. It was certain that he was a sportman under his well-built. He had strong arms. But his warm hands-

“To Y/N from Earth, to Y/N from Earth. We want permission for exit.” Said someone. I didn’t realize the doors of the elevator opening.

“Permission is given.”  I entered the place, entering 3-0-0.

“Mr. Kim’s meal?” asked the same voice.  “I think so, yeah.” I said.

“Why are you bringing?” asked the same person. He was interfering in this so much. But, why? When I said “To help.” he laughed. He must have misunderstood it. I didn’t like it. Anyway, it was where they should get off. I tried to give them room and looked at the place where I kept my computer. My baby looked great. I entered the elevator after they were done. 

The minute I entered the whiter-than-white room, I saw Sana. She was busy with her job.  For fear at making her scared, I called her. She looked at me tiredly. She was very different from she had been that morning. It was like something was annoying. And not just for me!

“I didn’t see you coming. Welcome Y/N. Is it the meal for Mr. Kim? Why didn’t Miss Oh bring it?” asked she quite normally. “Cafeteria has been busy today. I think she wanted me to bring upon seeing me the first.” I said. She laughed at me, suggestively. What was that? “I’ll inform Mr. Kim. You can wait in front of the door, it will open soon.” She said. Then I started to wait in front of the door.

I found myself in a bright room with a huge ceiling after doors’ opening. “Mr. Kim.” I yelled. He was busy with the files, too. “Y/N…” He said with a smile on his face, tiredly. Even with this fatigue, his dimple beauty were obvious. He looked very handsome.

“You got used to your job, I see.” he said and laughed. Mentioning the tray, I strayed my shoulders “I am just trying to help.” I said. “ I heard that you get on well with Mr. Jeon.” Said he. “Me and Mr. Jeon?” said I cachinnating. He looked at me with eyes not understanding anything, lifted his eyebrow. He couldn’t have been serious, right? My smile disappeared. I was lost in his attractiveness, until I heard my name again.

“Y/N, you can put the tray here. By the way, you said you tried to help. Did Miss Oh want you to bring it here?” Finally, someone tried to guess before asking “Why are you bringing it?” That’s a CEO for you! “Bull’s eye.” Answering my laugter, he smiled and said “Can you come to my office tonight?” I was surprised. What will he want from me? I thought I had to do that because I knew if I didn’t go I would be filled with anxiety.  So, I answered saying “Of course.” not being able to beat my curiosity. “Thanks for bringing my meal, you can go now.” he said and the door opened. I existed saying “I thank you.” to go to cafeteria.

When I reached the cafeteria, everyone was talking about the company’s product models Taehyung Kim and Wonho. They must be very famous. I’m not interested in celebrity buzz, so I didn’t know much. But they were talking about that Taehyung guy like he was a King, and we were his little, miserable servants. I couldn’t bear with these conversations and ate my meal fastly and went back to my desk. There were lots of files I needed to password-lock and the lady that came with Sana this afternoon whom I learned to be the chief executive gave me loads of work too. I put in my mind to finish as much as I could till evening.

When it got dark, the office started to get empty too. Even though I had lots of work to do, I was so excited for this moment the whole time. After saying my bye-bye’s to the ones that stayed in the office, I went to the elevator and started to wait. I felt a hand on my shoulder. And then a sweet voice in my ears. That was his voice. “We should use the stairs.” Then he pulled his hand. I started doing what he told me quietly. It was Mr. Jeon and his mysterious actions, as usual. He would tell what he wants to, and then leave it like that. Because of this, it was meaningless to argue or come to terms with him. He was going to do what he wants to do anyways. After walking up through the stairs quietly, we reached the dim white room. Sana was out and only the lightnings on top of the door were on. Was Mr Kim inside? Or was I going to wait him with this jet-black haired guy who made my nickname “idiot” in the same room?

“What are you looking at, idiot?” he said. I didn’t realize I was focused on his face. God, what was I doing? I immediately apologised and bowed and he gave me his typical “Huh.”. You are “Huh”! He opened the door manually. Mr Kim was sitting on his chair inside. Only the table lamp was on and you could see the moon from the dark sky. The room’s scenery was amazing. Of course, Mr Kim too. He said “Welcome Y/N. I’m sorry, I made you come here at this hour. Please, sit.” And then pointed a chair in front of the table. Mr. Jeon went to get a file from the left side. That side’s  light’s were on, so that was my guess. “I know, it will be a little bit sudden. But I decided to give you a job offer. You know how big this company is, right?” he asked. I shook my head in the meaning of “I understand”. I curled my hands. A job offer? I continued to listen. “We have an area called Cloud 9 which collects and contains our company’s datas. You were supposed to work there but you’re too new, as you can understand we have trust issues…” he said while pouting and continued “But… We have to make an exception for once. Some data of our company is detected to be missing. They may be very small ones, but this means our system weakened. Mr. Jeon did his best but he still don’t have an idea how this problem occured. So we want you to take a look, too. Can you do that?” I didn’t know what to tell, or where to start. Firstly, Mr Jeon was an IT specialist? Plus, what was this missing data stuff? The huge STB Company Union’s private data is missing? And they requested help from me?! Of course they were going to ask you for help, you’re and IT specialist too, remember! Getting out from my own world, I returned to the eyes which was waiting for me. “I will do my best.” Mr Kim took a deep breath and said “Mr. Jeon will escort you to the Cloud 9.” And stood up. “I will never forget this help of yours. Thank you so much Miss Y/N.” He said and held out his hand. After hand shaking with him, we walked to the elevator with Mr. Jeon. While waiting for the elevator, he didn’t fail to “compliment” me. “You had better not make a hash of it, idiot.”

After going to the first floor with the elevator, Mr. Jeon continued to use the stairs. There were more floors? I looked at him with a quizzical look. He just made a movement with his hand meaning “Hurry”. I did as he said.

After from going down for a few 10 floors more, we reached where I thought to be Cloud 9. I expected it to be on one of the top floors because of its name but it was surprisingly at the lowest floor. We were probably on a lower floor than the parking lots now. After from getting fingerprint sensor access, he tried doing the eye scan. He was blinking a lot. Normally, he wasn’t like this. Because of that, he tried doing it several times and finally, we were inside. On the contrary to the 300rd floor’s atmosphere, with its black theme, there Cloud 9 was!

After escorting me to the main computer, Mr. Jeon started to wait outside and I started doing my job. It wasn’t hard to find the missing contents they were talking about. It was obvious that it was done very quickly. The access hour was 9:00 and this was like 10 minutes after from my official-first-day-start hour. I wonder if they entered here to get access? Probably. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be this much missing content. Like they said, it was something small actually but to me, it was a huge mistake. Who could be the one who did this?

After from finding the missing contents I was readying to get out but I tripped and fell. I finally fell in the straight road too, wow! While standing up, I noticed a small bright object on the floor. A snake motifed ring.. Right before Mr. Jeon’s enterance, I got the ring and put it in my pocket. “Are you okay?” he said. “I’m fine, I just… tripped.” I answered. First looking at my figure down below and then my face, he said “I don’t tell you idiot for nothing.” And shook his head, smirking. He gave me a hand to get up from the floor. He was acting better than I had expected. I held his hand and stood up, while thanking him, we got out of the room.

Before leaving the Cloud 9, I called him “Mr. Jeon!”

“Mr. Jeon, I guess you dropped your ring…”

He looked at me and the ring quizzically. Then checked his hands. His pupils got bigger. Briefly, he said “It’s not mine.” And went up through the stairs. Examining the ring in my hand, I tried to catch up with him. This has got to be his…

We reached Mr Kim after from a long elevator trip. Mr. Jeon was constantly looking at me but when realized I’m looking at him too, he was turning his eyes away. Mr Kim finally asked me that critical question. “Did you find anything?”

A) Tell him you found something

B) Keep quiet

C) Tell him you found nothing

“Lure your soul to worship, and be lenient towards it, and do not force it. Accept its excuse and take advantage of its vitality, except what has been prescribed for you as an obligation; for they must be performed, and carried out at their right time.”

—  Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (ع) Mizan al-Hikmah h. 4989

Lure your soul to worship, and be lenient towards it, and do not force it. Accept its excuse and take advantage of its vitality, except what has been prescribed for you as an obligation; for they must be performed, and carried out at their right time.
—  Amirul Mo’minin Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (ع) Mizan al-Hikmah h. 4989