420 caves

My trials as a DM for 8 guys

DM (me): You walk into a dank and dimly lit cavern-

Puppeteer: Whoa fuck! Oh shit whaddup? What a fucking dank cave, 420, dudes!
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Dwarf: Okay! Give the damn wolf some food!

DM (me): But… its ravenous… and rabid…

Dwarf: Yeah me too, buddy. Have a turkey leg and some ale.
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DM (me): You can here some chittering from up ahead.

Druid: Can I see what’s up ahead?

DM (me): Roll for Perception.

Druid: I rolled a 38.

DM (me): A fucking 38?! What’s your +modifier?!

Druid: +20…
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Cleric: Dude those are just goblins.

Dwarf: I SCALP THE GOBLINS.

DM (me): There’s really no value to selling goblin scal-

Dwarf: iM GOING TO WEAR THEM.
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DM (me): The walls of the narrow cavern tunnel slowly start to close in on you.

Puppeteer: This is probably just another mind trick by that trickster goddess. Give me your long arrow. I hold it up lengthwise to the walls to see if it snaps in half.

(He holds the long arrow up to the walls, until the walls close in and snaps it in half loudly)

Puppeteer: Okay. So it’s real. The walls are actually closing, oh Fuck, FUCKING RUN.
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Puppeteer: I want to seduce the Nun.

DM (me): You want to SEDUCE Sister Garaeal?!

Puppeteer: Depends. Can I get the Pastor to sit and watch?