I would never have admitted it, or thought to say it, but looking back, I know that deep in my consciousness I thought that America was at the end of some evolutionary spectrum of civilisation, and everyone else was trying to catch up.
American exceptionalism did not only define the US as a special nation among lesser nations; it also demanded that all Americans believe they, too, were somehow superior to others. How could I, as an American, understand a foreign people, when unconsciously I did not extend the most basic faith to other people that I extended to myself? This was a limitation that was beyond racism, beyond prejudice and beyond ignorance. This was a kind of nationalism so insidious that I had not known to call it nationalism; this was a self-delusion so complete that I could not see where it began and ended, could not root it out, could not destroy it.
American exceptionalism had declared my country unique in the world, the one truly free and modern country, and instead of ever considering that that exceptionalism was no different from any other country’s nationalistic propaganda, I had internalised this belief. Wasn’t that indeed what successful propaganda was supposed to do?
“It is different in the United States,” I once said, not entirely realising what I was saying until the words came out. I had never been called upon to explain this. “We are told it is the greatest country on earth. The thing is, we will never reconsider that narrative the way you are doing just now, because to us, that isn’t propaganda, that is truth. And to us, that isn’t nationalism, it’s patriotism. And the thing is, we will never question any of it because at the same time, all we are being told is how free-thinking we are, that we are free. So we don’t know there is anything wrong in believing our country is the greatest on earth. The whole thing sort of convinces you that a collective consciousness in the world came to that very conclusion.”
“Wow,” a friend once replied. “How strange. That is a very quiet kind of fascism, isn’t it?”
you know what? i think the best advice about mental illness recovery i can offer is this: accept the good times. let them happen. about 60% of recovery is figuring out who you are without your illness/symptoms/during happiness, and i know that’s hard and messy, but when youve struggled with mental illness for so long, you know who you are in bad times and in suffering.
let yourself figure out who you are when youre happy and at peace. you’re worth it.
no offence but if i hear Chainsmokers, Ed Shoerash, Alessia Cara, Shawn Mendes, Shawn Hook and any other dollar name EDM artist on the radio again i’m about to fight the radio DJs of 94.5 and 95.3… THEYRE SO OVERPLAYED godd why is the radio top 40 so FUCKING BAD
y'all…….last night there was some mold on my cephalotus pot (a normal thing that’s especially common in plants where you need to keep them wet) so i got a q tip with alcohol ready and got rid of the stuff far away from the plant and then got up to the plant herself and y'all……..it wasn’t mold…..it turns out she’s putting out a ton of new shoots, leaves, and pitchers around her base and they just look like mold bc they’re covered in her little baby hair fuzz………