“Renungan, jangan sampai kita seperti kebanyakan para penggali kubur, saking seringnya mereka menggali kuburan, mereka sudah biasa melihat sebuah kuburan dan apa yang dikubur. Dan lupa akan persiapan dirinya menuju pengkuburan”
Mari menyiapkan bekal, jika saja rata-rata umur manusia 65, bagaimananya denganku yang sekarang mungkin hanya tersisa 40 sampai 45 tahun lagi, sedangkan pembekalan masihlah sangat kurang. Amalan yang masih sedikit, sedangkan bercita menjadi penghuni syurga firdausMu
I headcanon that Black Hat got really into couponing, after he employed the rest of the crew. Feeding 2 humans and a bear has to cost a lot and he would most likely try not to use so much money on groceries and stuff. It would basically end with: “No, Demencia, we are NOT going to buy this chocolate bar, we don't have a coupon for it. You have to do it with your own money.” 1/2
They would always leave with giant loads of groceries and other various things, for just a few dollars as payment. It’s basically legal stealing! Also there had to be a few incidents were they didn’t take some coupons for some reason and ended up with an angry Black Hat and a hero trying to resolve the drama one way or another, while the rest of the crew watched things from afar. 2/2
HJOsHOYLT FUCKFING SHIT
Black Hat is basically just an angry old grandma who spends hours in front of the fireplace in a rocking chair cutting up a newspaper. with his claws. fuck scissors am i right.
by the time he’s done there’s a stack of coupons big enough to stuff a briefcase. which is exactly where they go into. gotta carry your coupons in style
some of these are incredibly useless?? “Save $5 dollars off any $200 or more purchase?? Expires tonight?? HOLY FUCK!!!!” but you can bet he’ll teleport straight into sears or wherever the fuck it is, impulse purchase the nearest thing, and throw the coupon in the cashier’s face
so onto the store: You gotta get the essentials first. bread, some meat, cheese?… lettuce, uh, an apple. sardines. bubblegum. what do humans eat again??
BH just has 5.0.5 do it normally, since Flug would straight up blow their food budget on Mountain Dew, 5 hour energy, and coffee and Dementia would just raid the $1 candy isle.
But meanwhile BH’s gotta find the frozen food isle because “TWO boxes of frozen fish stick for the price of ONE!?!? THIS IS THE MOST DIABOLICAL THING I’VE EVER SEEN!”
“these savings are positively evil” BH claims as he buys five tubs of greek yogurt
“EXCUSE ME DO YOU WORK HERE” “Oh shit he’s back– hello sir h-how can i help y–” “WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR KALE CHIPS. DO YOU SELL THEM HERE.” “Snacks are in isle 9.″ bh fucking nyooms off
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS EXPIRED LAST WEEK”
Y’all are making Black Hat so…….. edgy…….. (I love this)
So this happened quite a few years ago, and the stage will take some setting. It might be more of a Karma than a Revenge story, but you guys seem to appreciate it when a Douchebag takes it up the ass, so here’s a fine tale…
I was working as a dishwasher in a new Fine Dining restaurant in the downtown of a largish city. Chef Paul came from a rich family with a lot of connections, but he made his own way through culinary school and was both talented and dedicated to his art. His family ponied up the cash for a location right downtown in Office Tower Land, but Chef Paul made the place the “hotspot” for the movers and shakers of the town. Our clientele was the Rolex set, people with a string of initials on their business cards and high-powered job titles.
Chef Paul was the nicest guy you could imagine away from the restaurant, but when he was on the cookline, he was an aggressive and abrupt bully of the old school. It was an open kitchen, meaning you could see it from the dining room, so he never raised his voice, but he could chew you out in a low-volume whisper, all the time with a poker smile frozen on his face. This was his show, his restaurant, his baby, and woe be it to the person who fucked up while Chef Paul had his game face on.
On 1 December, 1948, authorities were called to Somerton Beach in Adelaide, Australia. They discovered a deceased man strewn across the sand. Inside his pocket was an unused train ticket from Adelaide to Henley Beach. As well, they discovered some personal belongings such as a comb, chewing gum, cigarettes, and matches.
The man had no identification on his person. Witnesses reported seeing a man who fit his description on the beach the previous day. He had extended his arm before limply dropping it by his side. Another witness reported seeing a well-dressed man carrying a man on his shoulders. He was believed to be between 40-45 years old. The case became known as “The Tamam Shud case” due to the bizarre note discovered in his trouser pocket which read
“tamám shud” which means “ended” or “finished” in Persian.
The note was written on a torn page of Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. Following a public appeal, the copy in which the page was torn was located and there was a phone number and an encrypted message, which has not been deciphered to this day. The identity and the cause of death of this mysterious man remains unknown.
⁃ Yam noodles (0)
⁃ Tea (0)
⁃ Bullion (5)
⁃ Pickles (5 in a whole pickle)
⁃ Lettuce (5 calories in 1 cup shredded)
⁃ Celery (6 calories a stalk)
⁃ Spinach ( 7 calories per cup, fresh in bag)
⁃ Cucumber (10 calories per medium-sized)
⁃ Rice cakes (15 a cake)
⁃ Egg whites (15 per egg)
⁃ Sugar-Free Jello (20 a box)
⁃ Squash (20-25 per cup)
⁃ Nonfat turkey or chicken slices (20 per slice)
⁃ Baby food (20-100 calories a container, depending on what you get)
⁃ Carrots (25 in one medium-sized)
⁃ Tomato (30 calories in one large tomato)
⁃ Baby carrots (30 calories in 8)
⁃ Whole wheat bread (35-100 per slice (check brands))
⁃ Popcorn, microwaved or air popped as plain kernels without toppings (36 calories a cup (use salt))
⁃ Cabbage (40 a cup)
⁃ Strawberries (45 calories a cup)
⁃ Kiwi (50 in one medium-sized)
⁃ Broccoli (50 per cup)
⁃ Sweet potato (55 calories in one small sized)
⁃ Tomato juice or V8 (60 calories a cup)
⁃ Salsa (60 calories per cup (pair up with blue corn tortilla chips))
⁃ Crackers (60 in 5)
⁃ Red rasberries (65 a cup)
⁃ Edamame (65 calories in 2/3 cup)
⁃ Green beans (70 a can)
⁃ Apples (75-116 calories (depending on size))
⁃ Bananas (75-120 calories per banana (depending on size; eat after a purge to restore potassium))
⁃ Fat-free or sugar-free yogurt (80 per container)
⁃ Chicken (80 in a drumstick and 120 in a small breast)
⁃ Red kidney beans (85 in 2/3 cup)
⁃ Quinoa (85 calories in 1/3 cup)
⁃ Blueberries (85 per cup)
⁃ Veggie burger or tofu burger patty, (90 calories (without bread or dressing))
⁃ Vegetable soup, (90 in one cup)
⁃ Watermelon (90 calories in 2 cups)
⁃ Blue corn tortilla chips (90 in 10 chips)